15 xoNecole Writers Of The Past & Present Share What The Brand Means To Them

This week marks something major for the xoNecole brand as we ring in five years as a media company! When it comes to anniversaries, the fifth year is considered a major one. It's a milestone and representative of all that you have weathered through and the blessings you've received. Here at xoNecole, as we look back at the last five years, we can't help but be filled with joy at all we've been able to achieve. With the awe-inspiring Necole Kane at our helm as founder, we have evolved from a website to a fully realized digital destination.
Year-to-year, she has continuously pushed boundaries by leveling up the xoNecole brand in new and innovative ways. From sold-out in-person signature events like ElevateHER and Pajamas & Lipstick, to dynamic social media and video content and launching a top-performing podcast and new membership app, xoNecole has paved the way for what it means to be a brand that truly caters to the amplification of Black women and their voices. And that's where it all begins and ends, through the captivating words of the women who make up our xoNecole team of contributing writers.
In honor of this auspicious moment in time for the brand, the editorial team expressed gratitude to Necole, what xoNecole means to us as a whole, our favorite articles, and our wishes for Necole from today and beyond. Cue the tears!
Shellie R. Warren

Courtesy of Shellie R. Warren
Age: 46
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: Fall 2018-present
Most Common Verticals: Love & Relationships, Beauty & Fashion, Life & Travel, Culture & Entertainment
"This is actually my 20th year as a mostly full-time writer (meaning, I do a couple of other things for a check but writing pays the main bills). I've had a lot of experiences with a ton of platforms. Two of my favorite things about penning for xoNecole is I am able to be completely myself and I don't have to chase a check down. When you've been working in the Black media lane for as long as I have, believe me when I say that both of those are a true blessing. There is a lot about how I see things that is somewhat unconventional in the sense that I've never been married yet I'm a marriage life coach, I write about sex all of the time even though I'm almost 14 years abstinent and I'm profoundly fond of the Bible and Hebrew studies yet I don't go to church. All of this makes me a quirky fit yet xoNecole is like, 'Sure! We'll take it and pay you for it without you having to wait a billion years.' Working for them has been pretty easy-going and gift-affirming, for almost two years now, consistently so, and that is what I wish all people could say about their own jobs.
"Necole has been great at affirming my work. It's not so much that I 'need' that at this stage in the game, but for an EOC to make the time to say, 'Girl, you did that!' or 'I really enjoy what you bring to this space', that is a warm fuzzy that makes me feel appreciated for what I contribute. Necole and Sheriden (the managing editor) have both been pretty consistent in that way; that I am not just a content creator but a valued member of the tribe.
"Necole, I just want to thank you for allowing me to be a contributing voice for your creative baby. I have seen a lot of people talk about how they were such big fans of Necole Bitchie as well, but I actually got truly hip to you as you were making your transition. While this lifestyle platform is wonderful all on its own, it's your stepping out on faith that really moves me. It takes a very bold person to listen to the small inner voice that says, 'There's something better for you out there' when you're already successful. For you to have chosen to listen to it is honorable."
"Creative people come in different forms. You are a living example of that. But for you to take this kind of risk, without a full blueprint, that helps to give other people the courage to do the same. I am profoundly grateful to be entrusted to contribute to your a creative child that I know you hold so dear. I truly am. Thank you. Oh, in the Bible, five symbolizes 'grace', by the way. Embrace all of that!"
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"Why You're Always The One Who Prepares A Man For His Wife"
"10 Wonderful Reasons Why Consistent Sex In Marriage Is So Important"
"14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners"
"Why I Named The Children I Aborted"
"Are You 'Waiting On Your Boaz'? Make Sure You Know What That Means, Sis."
Charmin Michelle
Age: 33
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: 2019-present!
Most Common Verticals: "Across the board, but most commonly 'As Told To'."
"For me, xoNecole is the personification of a goal that ultimately manifested into achievement. It has been my teacher, my mentor, my friend. A sculptor to the womanhood ideologies that I wish to project into the world, into my friendships, and to my family. Personally, Necole's journey is...you know, we've watched her evolve. And that's the beauty in celebrating her. She did it, she won! She is literally a walking, dancing, smiling, gem-carrying testimony. How do you thank an actual blueprint? See metaphor.
"Whew, that woman. We were just having a conversation the other day about a post that specifically touched her, and I told her that her team goes out of our way to give her flowers because her impact is bigger than herself. I'm sure she knows this, people say it all the time--but it won't truly hit her until one day when the journey is behind her and she's sitting on her front porch, by herself, retired from this world and immersing herself in the reflection of how she did it. For her to be the face of so much, she somehow manages to individualize her time to so many. Me, her team. Clients. Anyone who reached out to her. She sacrifices so much of her own selfishness for us, ladies. Necole, I just hope that, even in those times when you're frustrated, or you question it, or even when you wish you may have chosen differently, that you know that. I love you, sis!"
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"My Mother Was My First Investor. And This Must Be Normalized."
"I Took A Break From My Ambitions For A Year To Self-Heal"
"The Ups And Downs Of Explaining Complicated Careers To Family Members"
"What It Means To Hold Space For Yourself And Your Community"
"10 Black Women Pulling Up To The C-Suite On The Boards Of Fortune 500 Companies"
Teisha Leshea
Age: 33
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: January 2020-present
Most Common Verticals: "Inspiration and wellness are the bulk of my articles."
"xoNecole provides women with a voice without judgment. It allows women from all walks of life to give perspective on things that aren't talked about. It enables me as a writer to challenge myself and tap into my vulnerabilities. Necole is a real example of what transition looks like. She carved a lane for herself that can't be duplicated. It was original. The fact that she trusts and honors her team is commendable.
"Necole, I just want to say Thank You. Thank you for inspiring and encouraging women to be the best versions of themselves. Thank you for allowing a little unknown writer like me to tell my story."
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"It's OK To Not Want Children"
"5 Holistic Ways I Take Care Of My Vaginal Health"
"Dear Queen: I've Struggled To Love You Correctly"
"Start Your Spiritual Journey Today With These 5 Easy Steps"
"No More Monday Blues: A Prayer For When You Need God's Strength To Carry You Through"
Erica Green
Age: 38
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: November 2019-present
Most Common Verticals: Beauty & Fashion
"I often tell people that Necole's story is one of my favorites. Her story is one of determination, courage, strength, grit, sacrifice, and heart. We live in a world that often celebrates inauthenticity and doing whatever is necessary to stay relevant. So, to see a woman walk away and start over at the pinnacle of her career because it no longer served her or fulfilled her is the most authentic, boss shit I've ever seen. She recognized that she had evolved and had the courage to walk in her new truth. That will forever be beautiful to me."
"I remember the first time I saw Necole in person. It was at her ElevateHer event in 2019. I remember seeing her walk out and stand in the back not too far from where I was sitting. As she looked around at the crowd of beautiful black women who had gathered there because of her, she cried. It literally gave me goosebumps. You see, I stepped out of my comfort zone to attend that event in Atlanta. I drove from North Carolina by myself and only told my parents where I was going. I knew if I invited someone to come along, I would have hid behind whoever I was with and would not have put myself out there like I did. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Prior to attending the event, I knew of her transition to xoNecole so I didn't expect to be so inspired after hearing her story in person. But, it fueled me. It rejuvenated me. It motivated me. And the fact that she looked like me (a black woman) was even more inspiring.
"At the time I had recently started my own blog but was unsure if I should stick with it and really pursue my passion for writing. What I took from her story that day was to do it. Do it even if people don't understand. Do it even if people think you're crazy. Do it even if you lose friends or money. Do it even if you have to do it scared. A few months later, I met Necole again. This time we talked for over 30 minutes about life, being single and dating. She's so easy to talk to by the way. We followed each other on Instagram and as they say, the rest is history. If you had told me that I would one day be writing for such an incredible woman and her amazing platform, I wouldn't have believed you.
"Necole once said at an event I attended that she is so motivated by a line from a Beyonce song. If I remember correctly the song was 'Formation'. Well Necole, I was motivated by something you said at ElevateHer. I hear it every time I doubt myself. Every time I want to quit. Every time I think I waited too long to write and be the type of woman I want to show up as in this world. You said, 'It's never too late to become the person you want to be.' That has and will always stick with me. Thank you for not only giving me a chance to write for your platform but thank you for inspiring me and pushing me to live and show up in this world as my highest self. Congratulations on year 5! This is just the beginning of what I know will be an epic journey!"
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"These Black Plant Moms Are Cultivating Self-Care Through Houseplants"
"Before You Quit Your Day Job, Check Out This Advice From Six-Figure Entrepreneur Pauleanna Reid"
"I Met Him In An UberPOOL & Now We're Married!"
"How To Lower Stress Levels At Work"
"How This Freelance Photographer Manifested The Career Of Her Dreams"
D'Shonda Brown
Age: 24
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: March 2020-present
Most Common Verticals: Exclusive Interviews, "Money Talks" and "Finding Balance"
"xoNecole definitely means a lot to me because the content is so versatile. As a woman in her mid-20s, it's so important for me to find relatable content where I feel as though the writers are my girlfriends and I have a genuine bond with people who are keeping it real with me. As a writer, this platform has helped me grow in unimaginable ways between my editors, my colleagues and even people who have followed my work because of my bylines in xoNecole. It's taught me to really push myself out of my comfort zone and there will always be a tribe of dope Black women there to support me no matter what I write and how I write it.
"I've been riding with Necole Kane since Necole Bitchie. To see her transformation into this renowned lifestyle brand that's bigger than just her is incredible to say the least. I absolutely admire her and it would be an honor to be able to replicate a sixteenth of the things that she's done for Black women. I'm now part of Necole Kane's family that contributes to the growth of Black women everywhere who are always reading our stories about sex, friendships, traveling, mental health and so many other things that show people that Black women are fabulous, we're human and we bleed blood and feel feelings just as anyone else does."
"To Necole: Watching you has been a pleasure and I spoke you into existence. I don't know if you remember, but back in January, I put in my Instagram story (and tagged you) that one day I would write for xoNecole. You reposted me and said, 'Yes, manifestation!', and at that moment, God heard you and myself and knew that two powerful forces wanted the same thing. Thank you for helping one of my dreams to write for xoNecole come true and I look forward to growing with you and your brand."
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"'Insecure's Premiere Is A Reminder It Might Be Time To Break Up With Your Molly"
"A Peek Inside Tank, The Lover"
"[Exclusive] Justine Skye On How She's Taken Her Journey To Self-Love By The Reins"
"I Said Goodbye To Negative Self-Talk"
"How Black Girl Magic Is Building An Online Community Through TikTok"
Kiara Byrd
Age: 29
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: June 2020-present
Your Most Common Verticals: Inspiration, Workin' Girl, Wellness
"xoNecole means to me that when we come together and empower each other, anything is possible. As a writer, I was lacking inspiration to continue my writing. Because of the xoNecole platform, I have been able to really tell my story and give others space to share their stories too. Watching Necole Kane's story reminded me that, despite the dark days, my story means something. Creating something positive from past experiences is how to gain back your power.
"Manifestation is real. This platform saw my potential in my blogs and gave me a chance to fall in love with writing again. I never considered myself a writer and now I am proud to add this title as a part of who I am. Now I have been able to challenge myself and connect with other writers where we motivate each other to keep our creative juices flowing.
"Necole, you have given me the space to be confident in myself again. I am more than my 9-5 and this platform has allowed me to give life to the creative that has lived inside of me all along."
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"In Order To Evolve, I'm Breaking Up With 'Healing'"
"The 'Pre-Commitment Interview' Every Dating Couple Should Have"
"These Mental Health Advocates Are Empowering Black Men To Take Up Emotional Space"
"Ladies, Here's The Tea On The Best Places To Travel When We Finally Escape Quarantine"
Zoe Hunter
Age: 31
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: 2018-2019
Most Common Verticals: Inspiration & Wellness
"As a woman, xoNecole embodies the many dimensions that accompany our womanhood—so many of us are able to find ourselves in these articles. That's one of the things that keeps me drawn to its content. I find so many different parts of myself on this website and it's beautiful to experience. Similarly, the diversity of perspectives that reflect Black womanhood (and our experience) is beautiful. There is no 'respectability politics' at play here. It is a safe space for us all to exist and be heard. So many of our identities are represented here, and I enjoy that so much for us. xoNecole is a sisterhood, and for me, as a Black woman, that is critical.
"xoNecole gave me my start as a freelance writer. As a blogger that contributed pieces for my own website for so many years, I was always hesitant to call myself a writer. Was I good enough for that title? Did my perspective truly matter to folks outside of my immediate audience? Could I really get paid for this? xoNecole's answer was always yes.
"The site and its editors believed in me since my first submission. Sheriden (the managing editor) saw my worth as a writer before I was ever able to put a price tag on it. Necole made me feel valued both as a woman and a writer. The entire xoNecole team gave me the confidence I needed to consider myself a writer and to pursue other bylines. They gave me a space to share my experiences and perspectives, and to pour into women in ways that I wasn't able to on my own side of the internet. I will always love xoNecole for giving me that opportunity.
"Like many, I started following Necole since NecoleBitchie. Her evolution is wildly inspiring. Watching her exit her former path, to pursue something more meaningful for her...the risks she took in doing so is an unavoidable lesson in purpose. It reminds me to let go of anything that no longer serves me, and to never be afraid to start anew. Necole left everything NecoleBitchie afforded her to step into a fresh calling—and five years later, not only are we celebrating the evolution of this brand (the brand partnerships, the events, the podcast, the community she's cultivated), but we're still celebrating the evolution of Necole as a black creative and entrepreneur. How inspiring!"
"You following your purpose has inspired me in ways that you may not ever recognize. I thank you for sharing your passion with me—with all of us. Thank you for following God's calling on your life. Thank you for taking this risk. Thank you for continually, and intentionally, giving black women a chance. Thank you for honoring, celebrating, and representing the complexities of Black womanhood. Thank you for staying true to this mission. And thank you for pouring so much into yourself, that you're able to overflow unto those you lead. You are a gem!"
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"What Will Smith Taught Me About Setting Expectations"
"Changing The Narrative For Women When It Comes To Love And Dating"
"The Rise Of Hustle Culture & How It Impacts Our Well-Being"
"The Greatest Love Of All, In The Words Of 4 xoNecole Writers"
"For Women Who Feel Like They Have To Constantly Chase What's Next"
Ashley Renee
Age: 32
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: 2016-present
Most Common Verticals: Love & Relationships
"For me, xoNecole is a safe haven for me to express myself, share my thoughts, anecdotes and advice to women around the world. Watching Necole's story unfold has inspired me to never say never, made me want to be more brave and reiterated the fact that it's never too late to start over and life is just a journey, it's up to you to fill it with beautiful experiences.
"Necole you have helped my platform grow, and me grow! The day I got hired as a contributor for xoNecole was the day I decided to quit a job I loathed and have been thriving as a writer ever since. Your journey has been an inspiration to me long before xoNecole and your growth has ignited my fire to keep going! I will always appreciate you for the opportunity and will continue to root for you with every stage you go through."
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"He Told Me He Would Kill Himself If I Left"
"Thank You Ne-Yo: A Letter From A Wife To A Married Man"
"How I Afford To Travel The World Without Breaking Bank"
"August Alsina Speaks On Devotion To Jada Pinkett-Smith: 'I Deeply Loved Her'"
"I Am Not Your Ride Or Die: What We All Can Learn From Keri Hilson"
Shonda White
Age: 38
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: 2015-present
Most Common Verticals: Love/Relationships, Life, Career
"xoNecole helps reassure me that my voice as a Black woman matters. It allows me to be authentically me. The platform allows me to be transparent with other women with the hopes that they, too, will embrace their authenticity, realize they're not alone, and come to know that their feelings and experiences are real and valid. Before I started writing for xoNecole, I wasn't sure if what I had to say was worth saying, let alone something that people wanted to hear. Although I didn't need xoNecole to validate who I was or the gift God gave me, writing for the xoNecole audience and seeing how my words resonated with so many women further confirmed that I had something to say and there were women waiting to hear it.
"Now, more than ever, I trust my voice and the gift that God has given me. I've been empowered because of xoNecole and people like Necole and Sheriden (the managing editor) who helped build my confidence, improve my writing skills, and nurture this gift. To be able to pen and share my stories, as well as the experiences of other incredible Black women, along with many other talented xoTribe writers, is something I do not take lightly. It's more than an opportunity; rather, it's another way for me to be used as a vessel to encourage, empower, and even entertain women.
"I'll never forget when Necole first announced her rebrand, she said: 'If I'm not relevant for the right reasons, I'd rather not be relevant at all.' Nowadays, it's easy to become consumed with being popular, so much so that we miss being purposeful. However, Necole's journey showed me how critical and how rewarding it is to walk and live on purpose - not just for yourself, but for those who are helped and impacted because of it. Watching Necole's journey is a wonderful reminder that purpose is what gives life meaning whether you impact one life, 10 lives, 1,000 lives, or a million. Her journey reminds me to trust the God-given vision within myself even when it doesn't make sense to anyone else.
"Necole's journey makes you really think and ask yourself, 'What am I doing with what God has given me,' and 'Am I using it to help serve others?' Despite everything that she's gone through, her journey is proof that there's power in the pivot, and even though you can't start your life over completely, you can always start a new chapter. Necole has been like a mentor to me, and watching how the site has evolved over the years has truly been a journey. It's a blessing to see how the audience has grown not just in numbers, but emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually because of the stories, expert advice, and experiences shared."
"Personally, I've evolved as a more fearless writer and contributor, and I have even expanded the types of verticals I cover (interviews, events/entertainment, career, etc.). Working with and for Necole has opened up so many doors in ways that I never would've imagined. I proudly wear the xoNecole name as a 'Black girl badge of honor'. I also understand, however, that as the platform continues to grow and as our fearless leader, Necole and her vision continues to grow, I, too, must continue my growth journey. As a contributor, I have a responsibility to help fulfill her vision, while inspiring others to fulfill theirs as well (including myself).
"I'll say this: Necole, please know that the sacrifices you've made and the seeds you've sown (including those unbeknownst to us) have yielded a harvest not just for yourself, but for so many Black women like me. You've given power to our voices. Thank you for giving me a chance, for giving us a platform via your platform, for helping me find purpose through my pain, for teaching me how to trust my voice, and for showing that I am equipped and more than capable of doing extraordinary things."
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"Don't Be A Wife To A Boyfriend: 10 Lessons I Learned When I Was Single"
"What The Ciara's, Cassie's & Karrueche's Of The World Have Shown Us About Moving On & Moving Up"
"What Michelle Obama Taught Us About Becoming More Than Just Somebody's Wife"
"Thank You Beychella: 6 Reassuring Realities Every Woman Should Embrace"
"How Artist Melissa Mitchell Manifested A Groundbreaking Deal With Spanx"
Courtney Simpson
Age: 31
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: "2017, I think. (TBH, it's been a while so not sure exactly when)."
Most Common Verticals: Style/Beauty
"'The world sees you and needs to hear your story' is what xoNecole means to me as a Black woman and a writer. While watching Necole Kane's journey, I saw a woman taking control of her success in a way that I hadn't seen before. The way Necole pivoted in such a transparent way was extremely aspirational to me, especially since I was pivoting myself. By being a part of the xoNecole family, I am inundated in an environment that is challenging, empowering, and supportive. Every step of my career has been helped by the building blocks I've learned at xoNecole.
"Necole, thank you for your vulnerability and willingness to be transparent on your journey. And, thank you for giving me the confidence to do the same. We need more leaders who are committed to leading through honesty and empowerment."
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"#PullUpOrShutUP: Beauty Brands Are Asked To Release Their Numbers Of Black Employees And Execs"
"We Failed Megan. Point Blank And Period."
"Gina Prince-Bythewood On 'The Old Guard' & Creating Space For Black Women In Hollywood"
Shanelle Harris
Age: 26
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: 2017-present
Most Common Vertical(s): xoMan
"As a Black Woman, this site is important and stands out from the rest because it's a space solely and unapologetically dedicated to Black Women. It's a space that evolves as we evolve, as I evolve. With every passing year, my interests and needs change and xoNecole always has content that meets me where I'm at and where I'm going. As a writer, this site gives honest, relevant persepctives from women who look like me and with whom I feel aligned with. It's a safe space to tell our stories, amplify our voices with no reservations or apologies.
"Necole's journey is a reminder that it's OK to walk away from anything that doesnt serve you holistically. Black women are multi-faceted creatures and it's important to surround ourselves in places and with things that help develop, magnify, and celebrate all of that. Necole's journey is also a reminder that people don't have to be onboard with your decision to grow in order for you to evolve. You don't need a cosign, permission, or backing to follow your calling. And that's on period!"
"On a personal level, Necole has always seen and believed in my potential from the very first article I ever wrote. She's consistently been there to provide honest feedback and insight into things when I didn't really understand. She's never been shy about helping me improve and has allowed me the space and extended the grace to evolve alongside her and the xoNecole brand. For that, I'll forever be grateful.
"If I could summarize what Necole means to me in one sentiment, it would be overwhelming gratitude. You see things in people that they sometimes don't rightly see in themselves, never lose that. You are kind, you're a light, and you're dedicated. Never change for anything or anyone, the world needs what you have."
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"Jada Pinkett Smith Wants You To Chill With The Negative Self-Talk"
"Tracee Ellis Ross Breaks Down Her Iconic Style"
"Luke James On Love, Intimacy & Who He Is As A Lover"
Dayana Preval

Courtesy of Dayana Preval
Age: 27
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: December 2019-present
Most Common Verticals: "I live in the Life & Travel section. I'm all about sharing personal stories and motivating the next woman."
"xoNecole means so much to me because as a Black woman, I feel seen. I love that xoNecole doesn't limit the narrative and the beauty of Black women. I don't have to fit into the box that society wants Black women to fit in so badly. xoNecole also helped with my courage to tap into my own voice as a writer. It's beautiful to see how women are healing and relating to my content because I decided to be vulnerable and in return, I get to help others. There's no better feeling than knowing that I am making a difference in the lives of black women with my words. I'm so grateful to be a part of this sisterhood.
"Necole is the perfect example of going all in and following your heart. Necole has helped me to realize that I'm not crazy for following my own dream. To see Necole being the Black woman she is and accomplishing what she has is admirable. It's a reminder that it's OK to go all in and invest in myself. I get the pleasure to chat with Necole often and I've learned so much about from her about gratitude, putting people first, and more. Working for xoNecole has been a blessing in many ways. It's challenged me to continuously find new ways to connect with Black women. It's also been a saving grace because, for the first time, I'm experiencing a work culture that I truly enjoy.
"Necole is such a beautiful and genuine soul. I've had the pleasure of getting to know Necole personally and I'm so grateful. Necole has so much knowledge and life experience and you can tell she's passionate about people. Her energy is so pure and loving. Her level of transparency makes it very easy to love her because she's not judgemental and she cares. Necole has made such a positive impact for Black women in media. I'm so excited to see how she continues to grow."
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"Here's What's Blocking You From Manifesting"
"How To Maintain Your Mental Health & Sustain Healthy Friendships At The Same Time"
"From Dropout To Self-Made Entreprenuer, Pauleanna Reid Paved A Lane All Her Own"
"How To Practice Social Media Self-Care & Keep Your Peace"
"Are You Good Sis? We Need To Discuss Black Women & Suicide"
Amer-Marie Woods
Age: 34
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: 2019-present
Most Common Verticals: Travel, Life & Travel, Politics
"Honestly, the xoNecole brand has been extremely instrumental in amplifying my voice at a time when I was going through a major life transition. xoNecole provided me a space to redefine how I use that new voice to impact other women. Especially Black women. There are very few internet publications that allow Black women to tell multidimensional stories but xoNecole created a safe space for our authenticity. This is a brand that celebrates and uplifts the unique excellence that is Black women. I couldn't be more grateful for an opportunity to be a new writer, podcast host and content creator while being embraced by the xoNecole tribe.
"What sticks out most to me is not necessarily the pivot but the rebuild. People always praise the pivot but they don't give the rebuild the respect it deserves. It takes a lot of patience to rebuild something from the ground up and even more to become successful. Doing it twice is unimaginable. So the biggest lesson I learned from Necole's journey is how to have tenacity and perseverance. Anyone can change directions but it takes a leader to be able to drive an entire company to the next level. That requires an extreme sense of self and confidence that most people lack. Watching it in real time grow to a success is a lesson you can't learn anywhere else. It gives me the confidence to go out and conquer the ideas that I think are the wildest knowing that another woman who looks like me and is like me has already done it successfully."
"My work on the platform has transformed from writing travel content to political journalism to podcasting. These are absolutely opportunities that no one else would have offered me, especially being new to media. Necole had the foresight and vision to see what I was not able to see in myself. She empowered me to be able to create the work that I was not sure I was capable of doing. Being new to anything can be a scary journey, Necole made sure that I was uplifted and supported. This ultimately gave me the confidence I needed to continue develop. That in itself is invaluable. There are a lot of people who are scared to share the knowledge they have in fear that someone else may take what they have created. Necole exudes leadership in a very different way by giving those around her an opportunity to shine."
"Necole, you are probably one of the strongest people I know. You have lived a lot of life and you have navigated it fiercely. There were so many things that were stacked against you and you could have easily given up on your dreams. However, you wanted so much more for yourself and you went after it fearlessly. You have inspired so many women to be authentically themselves and chase after the things that scare them the most. Thank you for sharing that gift with so many of us. You have a very big heart and an incredibly kind spirit that is uncommon to find in most people. There is no telling how many lives you have saved, how many hearts and minds you have touched but thank you for doing this work. Thank you for using your voice, thank you for being an inspiration, thank you for being you, and thank you for being my friend. Cheers lady, you deserve it!"
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"I don't have any favorite articles, I enjoy the content as a whole body of work. Each piece is a vibe that I need to celebrate myself and the women around me who mean the most."
Jamie Harrison
Age: 31
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: May 2019 - present
Most Common Verticals: Love & Relationships and Career
"Growing up, I always aspired to write for a publication that caters to Black women. Representation is very important for women of color and xoNecole celebrates the sheer essence of Black women. xoNecole shines a light, unlike any other, on the beauty, the class and the versatility of the Black woman. I appreciate being able to contribute to this site and I thoroughly enjoy reading articles from other writers!
"Learning about Necole's strength, resilience and tenacity inspires me as a creator and a Black woman. It shows that you can do anything that you put your mind to! I'm grateful that Necole has created a safe and welcoming space for me and other Black women. As a content creator, it's refreshing to have a platform where Black women can be their true selves – and I'm even more grateful to be a part of that!
"Even though I haven't met Necole personally, I love her focus on hard work, determination and mental wellness. Her remarkable journey of rebuilding and rebranding motivates me to continue striving for my goals, put faith over fear and to shoot for the stars – even if I'm a little scared!"
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"xoNecole Founder Necole Kane On How Bodybuilding Helped Her Battle Depression"
"What We Tend To Get Wrong About Finding Mr. Right"
"The Fundamentals Of Self-Care When You're Young, Black & Woke"
Sheriden Chanel
Age: 29
Time Spent Writing for xoNecole: "2015 - present. I write very occassionally now since transitioning from writer to managing editor but I'm always happy to get in where I fit in."
Most Common Verticals: Love & Relationships, Sex, I Tried It
"I remember exactly where I was 5 years ago when I first received an email from Necole Kane. As a fan of celebrity gossip and the infamous comment section, Necole Bitchie was a constant read for me, so to receive an email from Necole in my inbox was the life-affirming message that I needed from God and the Universe that this is what I've been put on this earth to do. To pen evolved from a passion into my purpose and a lot of that is thanks to her and her decision to take a chance on me in the midst of her taking one of the biggest chances of her life, starting over from scratch and building an empire that she didn't tolerate for the money and the fame, but something that too spoke to her purpose. xoNecole has been a blessing, a refuge, a gift, a solace, an inspiration, my heartbeat, and a lifeline. It has singlehandedly acted as the catalyst to some of my wildest dreams.
"What's more than a dream fully realized is that xoNecole has helped me tap into a sense of community I had no idea I needed, a sisterhood that showed me that I'm not alone. It is a platform that challenged and continues to challenge the monolithic view of Black women the world will have you believe. We are multidimensional, multilayered, multiifacted and powerful AF and xoNecole speaks to those women every day as a lifestyle platform that shows us we are worthy to hear these types of stories, write these types of stories, and be seen through these types of stories. It's OK because we are more."
"Necole's journey is one that I've had the pleasure of being closer to than most and it has been a thing of beauty to see the way that she has come into her own as a businesswoman sure, but also an unapologetic force who stands true to leading a life that she is excited about. Work plays into that and so does her success, and so does the evolution of her from NecoleBitchie to Necole Kane; but personally the thing that inspires me most is how passionate she is about cultivating happiness and what that means for herself. It's been an honor and a privilege to see the brand flourish and as a result to see her flourish and come into her own as a woman who pours into herself as often as she seeks to pour into other women. That love that I've been able to witness her giving so freely to others by way of events, talks, platforms, newsletters, apps, and the xoNecole brand as a whole, is the love that she is also giving herself. That has been motivating and inspiring beyond measure and I am so proud that after years of prioritizing other things, she's starting to say, 'It's time to give a little of that to me.'
"I express my gratitude for you all the time Necole. Today and every day, rest and stand proudly in the fact that you have done the things you set out to do. You have been the change you wish to see. You inspire and drive other women to strive through the unyielding bravery you've had in times where you could have been afraid to seek to find answers to the questions others might have feared to ask. You are doing God's work in the way that you touch others and empower them to own the fullness of their voices to uplift the next woman. Your authenticity and transparency inspires our authenticity and transparency. I know that can also be a lot of pressure but know that you are already worthy simply by being. Keep going and glowing, Queen. You deserve all the wins and more, holistically. Thank you once again today, and every day. I love you, we all love you!"
Top 5 Favorite Articles:
"Why Are Women Accepting Bare Minimum As Bae-Material?"
"5 Women On The Truth About Living Alone"
"We Talked To Over 20 Men About The Things They Like In Bed But Won't Ask For & Whew Chile..."
"Why You Should Be Unapologetic About Setting Boundaries With Toxic Family Members"
Featured image via Ashleigh Hardin-Jones
The Real Reason You Overthink And Crave Reassurance In Love
Over 40 million Americans have an anxiety disorder. However, what if I told you that everyone on the planet experiences situational anxiety - feelings of anxiousness when exposed to certain situations - and this isn't a diagnosis but rather a part of everyday life?
Given the prevalence of anxiety, it's quite possible that symptoms of anxiety will arise not just during the dating phase but even in the relationship phase, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of because it’s simply an effect of being human. Although it's normal to feel anxious, it's important to remember that leaving anxiety untreated can have detrimental side effects that impact our daily lives.
Relationship Anxiety: Signs And How To Overcome It
Anxiety is a common issue many people face, which can significantly impact romantic relationships. Here are several ways that anxiety can show up in romantic relationships and what you can do about them:
Relationship Anxiety Signs #1: Overthinking
The anxious brain can feel difficult to manage. People with anxiety tend to overthink situations, causing them to become anxious and worried about things that may not be a big deal. This can lead to arguments and misunderstandings in a relationship, as the anxious partner may worry about things that the other partner does not find concerning. Challenging irrational thoughts and having conversations about those that feel rational is important. Often, the quick fix to feeling anxious in a relationship is communication.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #2: Need for Reassurance
Individuals with anxiety may need constant reassurance from their partner, which can be draining for the other partner. It is important for the anxious partner to work on building their own self-confidence and trust in their partner.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #3: Fear of Abandonment
Anxious attachment, much? People with anxiety may have a fear of abandonment, causing them to become clingy or too dependent on their partner. This can be difficult for the other partner, who may feel smothered or unable to have their own space. It is important for the anxious partner to learn how to manage their fear of abandonment and trust in their partner's commitment to the relationship.
Going to therapy is often the first step to healing your abandonment wound because it’s much deeper than your partner’s actions, and if you don’t get to the root of the problem, you will continue to watch the problem grow.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #4: Avoidance
Individuals with anxiety may avoid situations or conversations that make them feel anxious or uncomfortable, leading to a lack of communication and intimacy in the relationship. If you want to build a safe and secure relationship, you have to be an active participant in your relationship. Do things like couple experiences or card games to enhance emotional intimacy and build a safe relationship you don’t want to run away from.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #5: Control
Anxiety can lead to a need for control, manifesting in a relationship as controlling behavior. This behavior can come from jealousy and other issues, and it can become destructive and damaging to both partners. It is important for the anxious partner to manage their anxiety and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Remember, being in a relationship does not mean you own your partner. Control is a personal issue that your partner cannot fix for you.
Trying to rob them of their autonomy will cause friction and lead to relationship dissatisfaction based on your inability to be a secure partner. Get the help you need by working through your fear of letting go and discerning where your controlling behavior stems from.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #6: Perfectionism
People with anxiety may have a tendency towards perfectionism, leading to unrealistic expectations and pressure in the relationship. It is important for the anxious partner to learn how to manage their anxiety and develop a more realistic and compassionate view of themselves and their partner.
Anxiety can have a significant impact on romantic relationships. It is important for both partners to work together to manage anxiety, develop healthy coping mechanisms, communicate effectively, and trust each other. However, it is also important to do the inner work, as anxiety can be an internal issue that your partner cannot fix for you.
If you want to build a healthy relationship, you must contribute to it by engaging in healthy behaviors.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on July 14, 2023
- 7 Tips For Anxious Attachment Styles That'll Help You Love More Securely ›
- What Your Attachment Style Says About Your Love Life ›
- What Exactly Is 'Relational Anxious Attachment Style'? ›
- True Life: Dating The Wrong Men Triggered My Anxiety & Depression ›
Your November 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Transformation & Divine Timing
November is the month of trusting your progress and efforts, and not overthinking what needs more time. As we move towards the end of the year, we have some significant retrogrades, but we also have substantial opportunities for growth and abundance. The Sun is in Scorpio, and Scorpio Season provides a certain amount of depth needed to transform and see the beauty in a rebirth.
November is about honoring divine timing and discovering your power through authenticity.
Your November 2025 Monthly Horoscopes: An Overview
The passion is high this month, as we have Mars moving into Sagittarius on November 4 and remaining there until December 15. Mars in Sagittarius is adventurous, forthcoming, and empowered. This is the perfect energy we need to get through the month's retrogrades, as Mars will guide us towards what is the highest good. The following day, we have a Supermoon in Taurus, and love comes full circle. A Supermoon in Taurus is all about gaining clarity within financial matters and relationship developments. This Supermoon brings an awareness of what you need to feel more secure, grounded, and safe in the present moment.
Venus, the planet of love, enters Scorpio on November 6 until the end of the month, and Venus in Scorpio is powerful. This brings an intensity to love, but it is also a good time for intimacy, commitment, and getting some more alone time with a partner. Uranus Retrograde moves into Taurus on November 7 and will be Retrograde here until February 3, 2026. Uranus, during this time, will provide more revelations into matters you have been looking to stabilize and find your ground in since 2018. This transit gives a final opportunity to regenerate new ideas, efforts, and intentions.
The final Mercury retrograde of the year occurs this month, and it begins in Sagittarius on November 9, moves into Scorpio on November 18, and goes direct on November 29.
While in Sagittarius, Mercury retrograde asks to be more patient with travel plans, new adventures, and communicating before you have all of the facts. While in Scorpio, Mercury retrograde will highlight what transformations are needed within relationship dynamics, and what path forward will help you gain your empowerment and inner clarity here. Jupiter also goes retrograde this month and will be retrograde in Cancer until March 10, 2026. Jupiter retrograde in Cancer brings emotions to the surface, and everything can seem a little more overwhelming than it actually is in this energy.
Overall, this transit occurs to guide you through new emotional regulation tools and show you what dreams can come true when you take some time to reflect.
The New Moon of the month occurs on November 20 in Scorpio, and this is a New Moon of manifestation. This New Moon provides the new beginning you have been looking for, and something is inspiring about what presents itself during this time. The following day, the Sun moves into Sagittarius, and Sagittarius Season officially begins. Sag Season is the upliftment we need after a month of closure, clarity, and transformation, and there is a lot to look forward to as we end the month. On November 27, Saturn goes direct in Pisces after being retrograde since July, and with this powerful force now direct, what you have been building and rebuilding through the heart since 2023 comes to fruition in a more grounded and long-term way.
Overall, November is a big game-changer, and what is being brought to the surface is changing things for time to come.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what November 2025 has in store for you.
Your November 2025 Monthly Horoscopes For Every Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is about finding your balance, Aries. A lot of things are in motion for you right now, but you may not be seeing eye to eye with some of the people around you in the midst of it all. Your guidance for the month is to choose your battles wisely and to think more about what will benefit you long-term. Mars enters your 9th house of adventure this month, and you are feeling fierce, inspired, and ready.
The Mercury retrograde of the month inspires you to open your mind to what else is possible for you in life, and gives you the clarity needed to make the necessary changes to be in the place you want to be. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your 8th house of rebirth, signifying the deep changes you are moving through this month.
As November closes out, remember to set your intentions for where you want to feel the passion, commitment, and depth in your world, and what ideas or perceptions you may need to let go of to see your own truth a little clearer.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is all about taking more time for yourself, Taurus. You are in a contemplative mood this month and are seeking more alone time for healing, clarity, and emotional rejuvenation. This month, we have a Supermoon in Taurus on November 5, and this Supermoon is bringing your goals, intentions, and path ahead to the surface. This is the time to let go of what doesn’t resonate with your soul and to pay attention to your inner guidance system and the signs you are receiving in your life right now.
Venus moves into your 7th house of love this month, and love is here for you to thrive and grow in.
Relationship matters feel more promising in this energy, and you are a magnet for love, reciprocity, and romance. Uranus retrograde also moves back into your sign on November 7 for its final transit through Taurus. Until February of next year, you will be reevaluating plans and intentions, and learning more about yourself and what you need to feel both inspired and grounded in life.
With a lot of energy in your 1st house of self and 7th house of love, November is all about finding the balance between what you need and what your relationships are asking of you.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a month of growth, Gemini. You enter the month with the Sun, Mercury, and Mars in your relationship zone, and you are motivated to connect, move forward, and own what you need in love. This is a beautiful month of being met with the love you are giving out, and feeling like you are supported in life. Your wisdom is growing, your inner clarity is shining, and there is something beautiful about the space you find yourself in this month.
Uranus retrograde enters your house of closure on November 7, moving out of your sign and giving you a chance at healing. This is your opportunity to close the door to a chapter in your life that felt more restrictive than freeing, and to develop the insight needed to move on from negative energy for good. Your ruling planet, Mercury, also goes retrograde this month, and will be guiding your heart towards what people, relationships, and experiences light up your life and make you feel loved and seen.
Overall, November is a big month for owning the wisdom you have found in life and in love.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is about trusting your instincts and listening to the guidance of your soul, Cancer. You are naturally a very intuitive being, and November is requiring you to use this strength for your benefit. As you enter the month, there is a Supermoon in your 11th house of friendship, community, and dreams, and manifestations appear that you have been looking forward to.
The patience you’ve had in your life shows fruition for you now, and you are recognizing that you’ve had the right idea all along.
Jupiter, the planet of good luck and expansion, entered your sign earlier this year and goes retrograde this month from November 11 until March 2026. What this means for you and your life is that you will be discovering spiritual guidance in new, unexpected places. You may feel like life moves a little more slowly under this energy, but this is needed in order for you to truly understand where an expansion and new perspective are needed in your world.
Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in a fellow water sign, and your heart gets a chance at a new beginning.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a month of progress, Leo. You are thinking a lot about the future right now and what’s ahead of you, and are making the necessary plans to bring your dreams to fruition. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career, goals, and reputation as you begin the month, you are really showing up and allowing yourself to be met with success. You are inspired by what is possible for you in life in November and are making the efforts necessary to meet your goals halfway.
Mid-month, Jupiter goes retrograde in Cancer, and what this means for you is a need to take a step back and focus on your healing. When Jupiter entered Cancer earlier this year, you saw a lot of the gifts that have come from closure and emotional renewal, and with this planet now retrograde, you are getting more into the nitty-gritty of healing and what tough decisions you may need to make to do so.
On November 20, we have a New Moon in your 4th house of family and foundations, and you are getting the opportunity to rebuild, connect with loved ones, and feel more secure in the present moment.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about finding your balance between moving forward when you feel ready to and taking the necessary time to plan your next steps ahead, Virgo. With a Supermoon in a fellow earth sign to begin the month, there is a lot to look forward to right now, and you are feeling inspired by what is presenting itself. You are moving through November with confidence and conviction, and your eyes are opening to what spaces you want to be in and what people you want to meet along the way.
Your ruling planet, Mercury, goes retrograde this month, and it’s all about taking time within communication matters and new developments in the home.
Ask yourself what stability, safety, and clarity mean to you right now, and be prepared to let go and create the necessary space in your life to receive that. At the end of the month, we have a New Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this New Moon highlights your communication strengths and interests, and also brings some new people and experiences into your life.
Overall, although we have a lot of retrogrades this month, you are not letting them stop you and are overcoming and moving forward in November.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is your month of abundance, Libra. Venus, your ruling planet, is in your 2nd house of income, values, and self-worth, and you are owning who you are, what you bring to the table, and what you deserve in your life. This is a month of seeing your intentions come to fruition, and progress is made regarding your finances and the plans you have set for yourself here this year. This is your month of owning your efforts and intentions, and knowing you deserve the good that is presenting itself to you right now.
With a Supermoon taking place in your 8th house this month, which rules your shared finances, support is coming in for you, and you have a lot of opportunities to make new gains and to see the gifts of some of the relationships and commitments in your world. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in your 2nd house of income, and it’s the time to create new intentions for yourself here, and you can do so with some added strength and confidence by what has already come to fruition or you this month.
Positive changes are in store for you, and you have the Midas Touch in November.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleScorpio Season is here, and you are shining, Scorpio. November is a month of feeling balanced, loved, and abundant, and like you are in the perfect position to find gratitude and own what blessings are ahead of you. We have a Supermoon in your sister sign to begin the month, providing you with the insight needed to see the love in your life with more clarity, and to gain some closure within relationship dynamics that have felt confusing for you as of late.
Venus also enters your sign at the beginning of the month, even further amplifying the energy of love in your life and the sense that you are truly recognizing how loved you are.
Mercury retrograde enters your sign on November 18, and you may need to redirect more of your energy within. Use this opportunity to gain more guidance on yourself, your path, and your goals, and remember to give yourself a little more compassion during this time. Before the month closes out, we have a New Moon in Scorpio on November 20, and this is a powerful time for seeing your manifestations appear. A New Moon in Scorpio is enlightening, and you are owning your passions, your self-confidence in life, and what new doors are opening for you now.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is all about owning your power and not counting yourself out, Sagittarius. This month is about lifting your head and remembering who you are and what matters to you in life. Mars enters your sign as we begin the month, and this is powerful energy for direction, new beginnings, and inspiration, but you may also be feeling some combative energy in your life in the midst of it all.
With Mercury also going retrograde in your sign for a little over a week, be careful with getting ahead of yourself right now, and take your time with things by knowing that you are supported and your dreams are coming to fruition in due time.
Sagittarius Season officially begins on November 21, and you feel more of the strength in your life as you close out the month. With Venus also moving into Sagittarius on November 30, a lot of the self-doubts you were having at the beginning of the month are long behind you now, and you finally get to see more of the progress you have been making in your world.
Overall, this month is about balancing patience with conviction and knowing that what is meant for you will not pass you by.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are making strides this month, Capricorn. November is a month of victory, progress, and achievement, and you are owning what you have been building in your world. You begin the month with a Supermoon in your 11th house of hopes and dreams, and this is a beautiful time for seeing your intentions appear and things looking even better than you had expected them to. The universe really wants to show you how loved and cherished you are this month, and will be giving you plenty of signs to show that to you.
Jupiter goes retrograde in your opposite sign mid-month until February of next year, and during this time, you will be able to revitalize some of your close partnerships and gain more clarity on what you need to feel more safe and inspired here. You may feel like some relationship dynamics are more up in the air than you are used to, but this is necessary for you to really see what and who you want to commit to long-term.
Before the month ends, your ruling planet, Saturn, goes direct in your 3rd house of communication after being retrograde since July, and you are taking a deep breath, getting the answers you have been looking for, and finding your peace this month.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a new beginning for you, Aquarius. You are setting new intentions and focusing a lot on your career and financial world this month. The month begins with a Supermoon in your 10th house of career, and you are seeing the fruition of some of the developments you have made in this area of your life over the past month. A lot of opportunities are coming to the surface for you, and you deserve to feel abundance, support, and clarity in the world.
This month is about owning who you are, your gifts, and what efforts you have made to live the life of your dreams.
Mid-month, Jupiter goes retrograde in an area of your life that rules your daily routine and working environment, and you are making a lot of changes in your world. Your career and work-life get a revamp this month and for the rest of the year in general, and this is happening so that you can increase your earnings while also feeling better about what you are doing daily. As we end November, Saturn goes direct in your 2nd house of income and earnings after being retrograde since July, which is even further increasing the abundance in your world.
Overall, you are claiming your successes and doing what is necessary to feel good within.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleDreams come true and miracles are possible for you this month, Pisces. November is about opening your mind to everything you can experience in your world, and about being a magnet for your desires by being open to it all. Venus is in your house of inspiration, adventure, and travel this month, and you are meeting love in unexpected places. You are feeling more of the magic in your world in November overall and are being met with the beauty you create around you.
Jupiter goes retrograde in your 5th house of romance mid-month, allowing you to gain more clarity in matters of the heart and to reveal what joy means to you and what and who you want around you to feel more stable happiness and less shake-ups in your world. Saturn goes direct in Pisces on November 27, before the month ends, and this is really a ground-breaking moment for you.
With Saturn now direct and in Pisces until February 2026, you are following your dreams, laying down new foundations in your life, and feeling like things are finally lining up for you.
November is about owning the magic you create in your world, Pisces.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole









