Quantcast
5 Signs Your Closest Friends Are The Most Envious Of You
What About Your Friends?

5 Signs Your Closest Friends Are The Most Envious Of You


Pretty much all of my life, someone has had something either very complimentary or super slick to say about my personal style. As far as the slick folks went, I always wondered why they cared so much. Especially ones like a particular friend of mine.

I'll explain. For a couple of years now, I've had a ring in my nose. The first time she saw it, her exact words were, "Did you pierce your nose?! Girl, you look crazy." Oh, but recently, I saw her and guess what she had? I don't even need to say it, right? Exactly. So, either both of us look crazy now or someone was being a pseudo hater once upon a time. I know what my personal vote is.

Anyway, this article isn't about me and my pseudo hatin' friends. Well, it's not just about me (and them). I just thought that since I can count on more than all of my fingers and toes when something like that has happened to me, I'd share some signs that you might also have friends who are a little green with envy—whether it's super-obvious—to them or to you—or not.

That way, you can spot envy for what it is, address the issue (if need be), and keep on feeling good about yourself! After all, if someone is envious of you, that is their problem—not yours. Here are signs your friend is envious of you.

They Copy You. A LOT.

media.giphy.com

Although some people think that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, personally, I don't. It's one of my pet peeves, actually.

Being friends with someone doesn't make them your Siamese Twin. Shoot, let me tell it, a part of the beauty of real friendship is being able to recognize each other's distinctions and, rather than feeling threatened by them or even wanting to copy them, you are able to celebrate them. Think about shows like Girlfriends or Sex in the City. Did Joan dress like Toni? Did Carrie look like Miranda? NOPE. And everyone was still dope.

If you've got a friend who 1) is short on compliments but 2) shows up rockin' your you-ness more times than not, what's up with that? Maybe ask. Nicely. Copying oftentimes has more to it than what meets the eye.

They Downplay Your Achievements

Healthy friendships? They are all about encouragement and support. That's because everyone involved wants to see each other win. This means that when good things happen, at the very least, there is a heartfelt "Congrats, girl!"—not radio silence, side-eyeing or backhanded compliments; ones like, "I mean, you've been in that position at work so long that they had to acknowledge you at some point, right?"

Good friends are just as excited for each other's come ups as they are their own. If this is a foreign concept to you as far as your besties are concerned, while it's not a 100 percent indication that your friends are envious, it's definitely not something to shrug off as being no big deal.

Meanwhile, They Are Constantly Trying to "One Up" You

You know the type. You start a blog and two weeks later, they've got a new website. You've got a T-shirt line and now suddenly they are fashion designers. You and your boo are exclusive and they're suddenly talking about marriage with the guy they're not even "official" with yet.

Or, it could be something more subtle like you trying to share some of your dreams and goals as they attempt to make their bucket list seem so much more fly.

It's one thing to be inspired by your friends. It's another thing for your friendships to be nothing short of competitions. If you feel like your friends are always trying to be "better" than you in order to prove a point to you, that is toxic. You know what else? They aren't truly your friends.

They Talk About Your Achievements to Others (But Never to You)

media.giphy.com

This one right here is the absolute worst. Do you ever hear about how good you're doing via someone else that your friend has been talking to? You know what I mean—getting texts from someone about your promotion or receiving a DM from a past boyfriend about some other kind of come up of yours. When you ask where they heard the update from, they mention your friend, yet when you're around that same friend, they don't say a word to you about how good things are going for you?

Be careful. If they can't be happy for you in front of you, that's a problem.

And as far as the people they are talking about you to? I'll just put it this way—there's bragging on friends and then there's gossiping about them. When you've got an envious friend in your life, usually there's a very fine line between the two.

You Can Never Just BE with Them

img.buzzfeed.com

When someone is envious of another individual, it means they are discontent with themselves; they somehow believe that if they had someone else's looks, relationships, or achievements, somehow it will make them feel better. I didn't come to that conclusion on my own; it's a textbook definition. And when someone is that unhappy within, it's hard for them to be happy for anyone else.

One of the most undetected signs that a friend is envious of you is if, no matter what you say or do, they are still miserable—and somehow you've got something to do with it.

Life is hard enough without someone trying to make you feel responsible for their own self-worth and value. That said, if any of this resonated, confront the green-eyed monster in the eye by sharing with your friend(s) how you've been feeling. Don't go on the attack, but do ask them if there is a reason why it seems like there is tension, competition, or the inability to just relax and BE in one another's space.

media.giphy.com

If they're a good friend, they'll be open to the conversation. You'll be able to find some sort of healing and resolve.

If they aren't a true friend, well—they'll go on the defensive and either totally shut you down or try and flip the script. It won't be a comfortable experience (trust me, I've been there), but at least you'll get some confirmation that yep—you have a friend who was, at least a little bit, envious of you. And once you know what, you can realign your boundaries so that it doesn't have to affect/infect you any longer.

Related Stories:

The 5 Must-Have Friends Everyone Needs - Read More

The Self-Care of Ghosting Toxic Girlfriends - Read More

8 Signs That You Might Be the Toxic Friend of the Group - Read More

Featured image via Giphy

Shop on xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty's site
TRENDING
ALSO ON XONECOLE
Three Influencers Show Off Their 2022 Holiday Hair Looks Using Their SheaMoisture Faves

This post is in partnership with SheaMoisture.

For Black women, there’s one compliment that will boost our confidence like none other: “Come through hair!” You know the vibe! Walking into a room with folks acknowledging that your hair is laid for the gawds, and the effort that it took to get it there, is a top five feeling. And with the holiday season just weeks away, you’ll be hearing that quite often. Between Thanksgiving gatherings with the family, Friendsgiving, company parties, and Christmas get-togethers, the opportunities to let your hair show up and show out aren’t too far away.

Apart from the holiday stuntin’, the end-of-year slow down is also the perfect opportunity to reevaluate the year your hair has had. Whether you kept it cute with protective braids, went big with blowouts, or let loose with textured twist-outs, this is the perfect time to give your hair the gift of TLC - tender lovin’ curls. Like the weather, our hair goes through seasons and has different needs depending on what we’ve put it through. Perhaps the transition into fall/winter has left your curls a bit parched and in need of some serious hydration. Or maybe your strands could use some restorative conditioning after taking it down from a convenient protective style. No matter what category you fall into, SheaMoisture has hundreds of ways that you can clean, treat and refresh your hair for a healthy shine that will bring you into the new year right. Bring your curls back to life with the nourishing and fragrant Coconut & Hibiscus line. Boosted with natural ingredients such as coconut oil, neem oil, carrot oil, and shea butter, this line is the antidote to reviving thirsty, dehydrated hair. Even better - with SheaMoisture’s custom quiz, you can get a hair analysis that will lead you to the right products for your hair needs. Say hello to sleek edges, and moisturized, stronger strands.

In need of a little hair-spiration? We got you covered! xoNecole and SheaMoisture have teamed up with three natural hair influencers to debut their holiday hair looks. Meet Ambrosia Malbrough, Jasmin Moses, and Daye Covington - beauty bawses who’ve created some incredible holiday looks that are stylish and easy to achieve. They also gave us the scoop on the SheaMoisture products they’re loving right now, as well as their 2023 hair goals.

Read on for more:

KEEP READINGShow less
Ladies, This Is How To Date Smart Instead Of Hard

While recently talking to a couple of early 30-something never-been-married-before women about how much they want to settle down, and yet, at the same time, they’ve gotten to the point where they almost loathe the thought of dating, I got inspired to write this article.

KEEP READINGShow less
Shop on xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty's site
LATEST POSTS