The Frozen Five's origin stems from The Science of Happily Ever After by Dr. Ty Tashiro, a book that inspired Shannon to compile a list of 26 traits that are essential to any romantic bond. What constitutes as your Frozen Five might vastly differ from person to person, but the purpose is to define your personal five by arranging the list of 26 things from most important to least important. To narrow your list down to your Frozen Five, play around with the order by writing them down on a piece of paper or on index cards and shuffle them around.

The list is as follows:

Agreeable (easy to get along with)
Emotionally stable
Securely attached
High novelty-seeking
Supportive/happy for good news
Intelligent
Physically attractive
Takes responsibility for self
Unlikely to withdraw
Has similar interests
Has similar values
Speaks my love language
Good life skills (cooking, cleaning, budgeting, etc.)
Wants children
Sexually compatible
Financially well-off
Charming/humorous
Trustworthy
Faithful
Strong leadership skills
Follows directions/allows others to take the lead
Highly ambitious
Independent thinker
Compatible with my friends and family
Excellent conflict-resolution skills
Has good relationships with others
Speaks my apology language

Of note, there is always freedom to move things around, to shift, and make adjustments as you see fit while you get out there and explore. You can potentially value one thing more in this phase of your life than you do another in the next two months. So although the term is "Frozen Five", don't feel like your values are immovable.

Just like love languages, apology languages, and attachment styles, these things are subject to change as you learn, grow, and experience more life and love. "You're not making a solid set in stone list. This is not the 10 commandments that cannot change. This is going to evolve as you evolve and you can do this as many times as you want to," Shannon echoed.

What I found interesting is that before reading this book, I had been doing my standards all the way wrong. Whereas I thought things like my partner having a good job, having a car, being able to afford to date me were all important things to me, or standards if you will, I realized through reading Shannon's breakdown that it wasn't specific enough and could essentially be a one-size-fits-all where any guy that applied could have an opportunity to be with me. Furthermore, when I did my own list, "financially well-off" was way down the list.

In order to gain clarity about my direction in dating and finding meaningful connections and partnerships was to think about the things that established a foundation for a relationship and thereby relational happiness for me. Those things are as follows:

Faithfulness
Sexual compatibility
Speaks my love language
Supportive/happy for my good news
High novelty-seeking

All other applicants need not apply.

If you want to find out more about Frozen Five and how to create the second step of this exercise, be sure to cop Shannon's book The Game of Desire, out now. And follow her on Instagram.

In an xoExclusive, we spoke with La La to find out the baton of wisdom she would like to pass on to other boss ladies.