Sex
1. Jenga PDF Sexy Couples - Erotic Adult Party Game for Adventurous Couples
Something that's cool about sex games is they can help to bring some laughter and lightness into the atmosphere. While having that kind of goal might seem odd on the onset, it's always important to remember that sex doesn't have to be sober-minded and serious. It's actually supposed to be a lot of fun! So, if you want to bring some extra light-hearted-with-a-touch-of-horny foreplay into your space, this is a PDF that you can purchase and immediately download with instructions, including numbers to put on your Jenga pieces and naughty questions that you can ask your partner. (It's on Etsy. You can cop it here.)
2. Melting Rose Petals
If there's one thing that can hinder a lot of us from going all out when it comes to "setting the stage" for a romantic evening, it's the thought of how much clean up will be required on the back end (sigh). That's a part of the reason why this particular item caught my eye.
If you and yours adore nothing more than soaking in the tub together, rose petals can definitely help to cultivate the right mood. The dope thing about these, in particular, is they slowly melt into your bathwater while leaving a smell of fresh stems. This means no worry about having to scoop petals up when you're done. Excellent.
(Pink Cherry is the site that sells them. Go here to buy a batch.)
3. Earthly Body Edible Massage Candle
What I personally like about this product is it combines the soft glow of a candle with the convenience of a massage oil that you can easily lick off — a win all the way around, y'all! What makes this edible massage candle even better is it's vegan-friendly, has apricot and coconut oil in it (which makes it nourishing for your skin) and it comes in three different flavors — strawberry, watermelon and vanilla. Since it's a 4 oz. candle, it should last you, shoot, at least a couple of rounds, right? Here's hoping. (Adam & Eve has got you on this one. Get it here.)
4. Edible Candy Lingerie Gift Set
There are times when, while I'm perusing the internet, I'll see something that is simply cute. That's how I felt when I noticed what looked like a string bikini set (top and bottom) that's made out of edible candy. Pretty sure there's no need to break this one's possibilities all the way down, right? Anyway, Walmart sells both pieces at a reasonable price. You can check it out here.
5. Sensuva Ice Cube Flavoured Cooling Nipple Balm
For some, nipples are a peak erogenous zone. For others, not so much (check out "So, What If 'Typical Erogenous Zones' Annoy TF Outta You?"). That said, whether you are trying to experience (or experience more) nipple orgasms or you're with someone who is a "breast person" and you want to learn how to enjoy getting aroused in that area more, something that could help you out is nipple balm. This particular kind will help to harden your nipples while providing a cooling sensation. Plus, the chocolate mint flavor will definitely help to put an even bigger smile on your partner's face. Lovehoney carries it. Get it here.
6. System Jo H2O Flavored Lubricant Collection
The wetter, the better, right (check out "The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant")? Yeah, my sentiments exactly. Flavored lubricant can be a lot of fun, especially when it comes to oral sex, because it provides a way for you to do what you're doing while enjoying a flavor that you really like. Something that I dig about this brand is it's got a ton of different flavors to choose from including Cherry Burst, Cotton Candy, Green Apple, Peachy Lips, Juicy Pineapple and so many others (the company boasts of a whopping 17!). Dear Lady is a site that has a good amount of different ones (go here). Yet if you want to go to the System Jo H2O site to see what other merchants carry this product, you can do that by going here.
7. Like A Virgin Tightening Pleasure Gel
So, before we even get into this one, check out an article that I wrote on this topic last spring entitled, "What Science Says About A So-Called 'Loose Vagina'". The bottom line is your vagina doesn't "overstretch" from sex (remember, we can push babies out through there!). So, more than anything, the name of this product is probably more of a marketing ploy than anything else. Still, it gets a shout-out here because it creates a tingling feeling as it helps the muscles within your vaginal walls to slightly contract (in the best way possible), of course. Restoring you to virgin status is pushing it yet providing a nice sensation during intercourse is something that it certainly can do. (Another Adam & Eve gem. Cop it here.)
8. GLYDE Organic Flavored Condoms
There's no way around the fact that the best way to proactively prevent contracting an STD or an unplanned pregnancy is to use a condom (check out "10 Things You Should DEFINITELY Know About Condoms" and "10 Ways To Make Using A Condom So Much More Pleasurable"). Here's the thing, though — a lot of people seem to forget (or is it blatantly ignore?) that you can get a sexually transmitted disease or infection from oral sex too. This is where flavored condoms come in and if you're not in an exclusive relationship where both of you get tested regularly, you should definitely have a box of these in your stash.
What I like about this brand is 1) the condoms are organic; 2) they are ethically made; 3) they're made out of latex and are ultra-thin (which your partner will definitely appreciate) and 4) they come in a variety of flavors. In fact, I recommend getting a variety pack (vanilla, strawberry, licorice, wildberry and blueberry) to see how you like 'em.
GLYDE is the company. The page for the variety pack is located here.
9. High on Love Chocolate Body Paint
Have you always been curious about whether or not weed ultimately makes sex better? If so, check out "7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better". After doing that, getting yourself some chocolate body paint (the kind that has hemp seed oil in it) just may pique your interest. Some perks about this particular brand of body paint is it's water-based (so it won't jack up your sheets), it smells and tastes like chocolate and, since hemp seeds are full of protein and amino acids that can help to boost your energy levels, at the very least, you'll be in for a night of sensual experimentation and longevity. (EdenFantasys sells it. Get it here.)
10. We-Vibe Melt App Controlled Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator
A couple of years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "How To Experience Amazing Foreplay (When You and Yours Are Apart)". The main reason why is because statistics show that at least 14-15 million people within the United States alone are currently in a long-distance relationship. If you happen to be one of them, hey, I don't have to tell you how challenging it can be when it comes to "scratching that itch", each and every time the mood hits. A work-around that can at least help things to become more bearable is a clitoral stimulator.
What intrigues me about this one is it comes with 12 different sensations, is waterproof and USB-rechargeable and you and your partner can connect it to an app so that he can help to get you off (yes, literally) no matter where he may be. The main hack to keep in mind is this one works best with some water-based lube. And while it's not the cheapest thing on the block (it currently retails for around $150), can you really put a price tag on consistent sexual pleasure? I mean, relatively-speaking? #wink (Get this at Lovehoney. Find it here.)
11. Wonderful Honey
Something that I kept hearing about the past few months, to the point where I did some investigating with some of the men in my world, is Wonderful Honey. Word on the street is it's a natural way to increase testosterone levels and build stamina and endurance. Each shipment contains 12 packets at 15 grams a pop. Like I said, men are huge fans. Couldn't hurt, right? (Medallion Mercantile is just one site that sells it. Check it out here.)
12. Dripstick
I don't think there's a better way to round up this sex-themed shopping list than to share with you something that I think every woman should own.
It's called a Dripstick and it's currently the only stick on the market that is able to remove excess fluid from your vagina following sexual activity. It's medical grade (a sponge is what you'll be using). The packaging is solid. It's also really easy to use (instructions are here).
So, if wet spots irk you, you and your partner like quickies but you hate the after-romp clean-up or there's some other reason why you've always wondered why something like this doesn't exist — Merry Christmas (LOL). It finally does. Awkward Essentials is the company. Get yourself at least one 20-pack box here. Enjoy!
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Featured image by Giphy
Hopefully, you're getting all of your current sexual needs met. But if you happen to be someone who is out here feeling some type of way because you and your partner are not getting more of what you and/or they desire, I've got seven things that many people have told me they wish they received more of in the sex department, along with some insight on how to get these particular kinds of needs met.
Romance
Whenever I'm talking to married couples about what they wish they received more of, as far as bedroom action is concerned, it never fails that wives will usually say "romance" while husbands typically say "spontaneity". As far as what's behind Door #2 goes, I'll get more into that in a sec. For now, I'll touch on romance. Personally, I think it's so important when it comes to sexual activity that I wrote "What Does It Truly Mean When Someone's 'Romantic'?" and "Tonight's The Night For A Really Romantic Sexual Experience" for the site. One of the main things to keep in mind about romance is the fact that it needs to happen way before even stepping one foot into your boudoir. You know, I've been working with couples for many years now and I find it to be no surprise that a lot of people whose sex lives are ho-hum and subpar are also people who don't spend a lot of quality time together — going on dates (including sex dates), taking weekend road trips, going for walks after dinner, cooking together, dancing to their favorite R&B jams in the living room…you catch my drift.
If you wish you could get more scented soy candles on your nightstand and rose petals on your bed, start with getting together with your partner to plan some dates together, even if you've got to get super creative and have them at home (check out "10 Romantic Dates You Can Go On (In Your Own Home)"). The more thoughtful and attentive the two of you are outside of your bedroom, the easier it will be to act that way inside of it.
Spontaneity
I'm working with three couples right now where the husbands are pretty close to being pissed and shutting all the way down. Why? Well, when they were dating their wife, sex was random, fun and it happened all of the time. This was pretty much the case during the first year of their marriage as well. Yet as time has gone by, morning sex a few times a week has now become sex twice a month — and that's if they are lucky. Oh, but not right now. Now it's like their wives wanna screw like rabbits. Why? Because they are trying to conceive a child. Getting pregnant, each husband is fine with. What's got them triggered to high hell is the fact that if these women can muster up all of this sexual adrenaline to get pregnant, why can't they do that just to enjoy being with their partner?
These men have a point. Besides, sex shouldn't be treated as a "means to an end". When you're married, it first needs to be honored as a priority and staple in your relationship (because if there is one thing that should separate everyone else from you and your spouse, it's that you have sex with your husband), along with being a very intimate way to get closer to your partner — to bond with them on spiritual, emotional and physical level. And while there are times when life may require that you schedule it in order to make it happen, there still needs some spontaneity up in that mug too. Again, I didn't say it — most of the men I know, married and single, say it, on loop, all of the time.
And why is spontaneity such a big deal? It's impulsive. It's passionate. By definition, it doesn't require a ton of effort or premeditation. Some synonyms for the word include simple (dig that!), automatic, free-spirited, unavoidable, uncontrived, off-the-cuff and inevitable (dig that one too!).
Being spontaneous is meeting your partner at the door, butt ass naked. Being spontaneous is joining your partner in the shower while they are in it. Being spontaneous is sending random texts about all of the things on your sex bucket list that you want to check off over the next couple of weeks. Being spontaneous is walking into his office and engaging in some oral action, regardless of what he's doing. Being spontaneous is letting him know, out of the blue, that you want to make the kind of movie that only the two of you can watch together.
It's kind of crazy that if spontaneity is the main thing that you and/or yours is missing, it's important to talk about it first. However, if you remember the synonyms "simple" and "inevitable" while you're having the discussion of how to bring more into the sexual part of your relationship, it really can remind you both to come up with ways to make each other feel desirable…just because…with absolutely no agenda other than cultivating pure pleasure on a dime.
Seduction
Ah. The art of seduction. If anyone is bored when it comes to their sex life (check out "7 Signs You're In A 'Sex Rut' & How To Get Out Of It"), I'd venture to say that a lack of seducing and/or being seduced is playing a major role in it all. Shoot, I'll take it even further and say that some people aren't getting what they need in this area because it's been so long since it's happened that they have lost sight of what seduction even entails.
Flirting is an act of seduction. Dressing seductively on dates is an act of seduction. Wearing lingerie is an act of seduction. Extending foreplay (including mental foreplay; check out "Mental Foreplay Hacks That Ultimately Takes Intercourse To New Levels") is an act of seduction. Taking off each other's clothes, ever-so-slowly, before sex is an act of seduction. Bringing in sex condiments (check out "12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious") is an act of seduction. Doing anything with the intent of enticing your partner to lust you? That is what it means to seduce him.
Unlike spontaneity, seduction is something that is extremely premeditated. You've got to think about what kind of scent he adores on you and where he likes you to put it most (check out "8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last"). You've got to ponder whether you should go out with him with a lace thong or with no panties at all. You've got to really reflect on what kind of atmosphere to create that will make him want to climb the walls. That's the cool thing about seduction, though — the more thought you put into being the ultimate seductress, the more excited you will probably get about the day or night that lies ahead.
Affirmation
I am a words of affirmation kind of gal. I'm pretty sure that's a big part of the reason why I'm also such a fan of dirty talk — and indeed, like other sexual activities, it is a skill; it's not something that comes automatically or easily for everyone. OK, but I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself here. Let's first touch on why affirming your partner is such an important thing to do. While actions are definitely important, words are too. When you affirm someone, you're letting them know that you see them, that you value them and that you appreciate having them in your life. Affirming someone can help to boost their self-esteem, to make them feel closer to and safer around you and it can remind them of why you chose to be with them in the first place.
While it's not discussed, nearly enough, dirty talk can definitely be a form of verbally affirming your partner because when you're telling them what you're physically attracted to, what you enjoy about the act itself and what they can do to get you to get there — it's like participating in a sex-themed pep rally of sorts. Besides, the best kind of sex incorporates all five senses (sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing) and when you are telling your partner what you adore about them and what pleases you most about sex, in your absolutely sexiest voice, how can that not inspire them to give you more of what you need and want? Exactly.
Oral Action
There are a few people in my world who have pretty high sex drives and yet, at the same time, they aren't big on kissing (check out "Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?") and/or giving (or sometimes even receiving) oral sex ("Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?"). While I personally can't relate to either stance (chile), if you happen to be someone who falls into either category, something that can help in the oral sex department is flavored lubrication. Hey, I'm not playing. These days, there are all sorts of brands that taste so good that it can make going down or being gone down on a lot more pleasant if you or yours happen to be someone who is hesitant because it's just not something that you can wrap your head around (no pun).
Also, if you happen to be someone who is self-conscious about if you're doing it well or not, well, I'll put it to you this way — you're probably gonna lick an ice cream cone way better than an empty spoon. In other words, sweet skin is gonna make you way more enthusiastic and passionate than plain skin will. Feel me? Anyway, as far as letting-lube-lead-the-way goes, check out "The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant". It's a little hack that really can make a huge difference. HUGE.
Pampering
Is it just me or does it seem like pampering and sex don't go hand in hand as much as they should? When I think of "treating with extreme care" in the context of coitus, to be honest with you, what comes to my mind is more afterplay (check out "Sure, Your Foreplay Game Is On Point. Now What About The 'Afterplay'?") than anything else because, if we're gonna be real, it's a lot easier to want to act "excessively indulgent" towards your partner when you're trying to get some. Oh, but it's next level to do it after you've already "been to the mountaintop" and nothing sounds more appealing than a nap.
So, how can you and your partner sexually pamper one another after sex? A massage. Soaking in the tub together. Giving each other a handwritten note or card that you had prepared beforehand. Feeding each other aphrodisiacs like strawberries, chocolate and watermelon. Surprising each other with "favorite thing" tokens.
Basically, by making sure that the "end" is just as sweet, special and satisfying as the beginning, that can make each sexual experience that much more endearing and memorable. It can also make both of you really excited about being with one another again…very, very soon.
Pillow Talk
I've shared before that if you've got a man who happens to fall asleep right after sex, you really shouldn't get mad at him; that's how he was created. There is a biochemical called prolactin that's released when men ejaculate that typically results in them feeling drained and tired. Not much can be done about that. However, what I will say is a lot of the guys who I've discussed this with have told me that falling asleep is a lot easier to do when their partner decides that she now wants to talk about where the relationship is headed, what bill needs to be paid or what chore needs to be done around the house.
In other words, guys are already tapped out after sex and so, a boring or emotionally draining conversation definitely doesn't inspire them to want to keep their eyes open. So, if more pillow talk is what you're after, try and keep the topics light, crack jokes or ask if he's down to watch something fun on the tube. While there is a time and place for "deep" pillow talk, right after sex usually isn't one of them. However, if you relax and try and stay in the flow of the moment, many men are down to spoon and chat for a while. Hell, 5-7 minutes, at least. #wink
For more love and relationships, features, dating tips and tricks, and marriage advice, check out xoNecole's Sex & Love section here.
Featured image by Giphy
I wouldn't be surprised if you've heard before that your biggest sex organ is your brain. Matter of fact, I've said that very thing on this platform on numerous occasions. Well, while there used to be a time when — surprise, surprise — women's brains weren't studied all that much when it comes to sexual stimulation and pleasure, we live in a new age and more and more data is coming out by the day. For instance, did you know that the part of your brain that reacts to your vagina (it's connected to the pelvic nerve), cervix and nipples being stimulated is different than the part of your brain that directly triggers (in the best way possible, of course), your clitoris (it's connected to the pudendal nerve)? The more you know. The more you freakin' know.
OK, but I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. Anyway, I've written articles on here like "Mental Foreplay Hacks That Ultimately Takes Intercourse To New Levels" and "What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?" that clearly support how much I think the mind is a terrible thing to waste when it comes to not incorporating mindfulness in order to experience some pretty incredible sex. Now I'm hoping that a technical term like "genital sensory cortex" won't cause you to yawn with boredom before I can break down the kind of doors that it can unlock for you inside that bedroom of yours.
Your Genital Sensory Cortex? What in the World Is That?
Let's jump right into it, shall we? We all have something called our sensory cortex (also known as the somatosensory cortex). Basically, it is a strip of brain tissue that's located in the same place that our headphones would go (but on our brain, of course), right in the middle of both brain hemispheres. All throughout it, there are a variety of neurons that are connected to different parts of our body. Interestingly enough, the size of each body part corresponds to how much sensory information our brain is able to process. The fascinating thing about this is, thanks to this part of the brain, we are able to respond to feelings of pleasure and pain; ones that derive directly from touch. This means that when we touch our body or our body is touched, our nerves are able to send signals to our brain and ultimately to our sensory cortex.
And just what does this have to do with making sex better? Well, here's the thing. Although many of us already know that our clitoris (whose stimuli is located on the same part of our brain as it is for a man as it relates to his penis; it's called the homunculus) only has a sexual purpose, contains 8,000 nerve ends (double what men have in their penis) and that stimulating it is the easiest way that most of us are able to climax, now we've got greater insight into how to have other kinds of orgasms. Take vaginal ones. You've probably heard that 70 percent of women struggle with experiencing those. So, how are the other 30 percent able to pull it off? A part of it has to do with clitoris/vaginal placement. What I mean by that is, the closer a woman's clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for both areas to be stimulated during intercourse which ultimately results in a vaginal orgasm. OK, but here's the deal about all of this.
What science is discovering is the more that our brain gets involved in sexual activity, the greater the chance we have of having all kinds of orgasms — nipple orgasms, vaginal orgasms…you name it. In other words, an orgasm isn't just a physical reaction that comes from sexual stimuli. The more our brain gets into the action, the better sex is.
Case in point. I recently read about a study where some people merely imagined being sexually stimulated with a sex toy vs. actually experiencing that kind of stimuli. What the researchers discovered (via some fMRI brain scans) was, the sensory cortex part of the brain that lights up when physical stimulation happens, it responds the same way to thought alone. In other words, the genital sensory cortex of the brain reacted the same way to "thought" as it did to "action".
If you really let all of this sink in, now it makes better sense why erotica works for some of us, sexual sounds (even without touch) work for some of us and imagining sex with someone can also get us pretty aroused. Our brain gets sexually stimulated by thought alone. So, when thought and touch are combined — BOOM.
So, what is the genital sensory cortex? It's simply the parts of your brain that directly connect to sexual stimulation. If you connect all of these dots, the takeaway is, if there is just as much effort put into "getting the mind right" as it is in getting your body off, you can end up having orgasms in places and on levels that you never really have before.
5 Ways to Significantly Increase Your Chances of Getting Off, Thanks to Your Genital Sensory Cortex
1. RELAX
If the main thing that is sticking out in your mind is, "Damn. This sure requires a helluva lot of thinking," I hear you. Yes, you do need to be super intentional about your thought process and yes, that can initially seem like a bit of a buzzkill when it comes to sex. And yes, I get that by my saying that you should relax, on top of all of this, might seem a bit absurd. Just remember that these thoughts are the fun kind — the "dirty" kind. And if what you're thinking about makes you feel good, it won't be hard to have a feeling of zen. The main point here is don't kill yourself trying to think about pleasurable moments. If you follow these other tips, relaxing won't be very hard to do anyway.
2. Think About the Last Time You Had Some Really Amazing Sex (with Your Partner)
Here's something that you can (and should) try alone. Get quiet and comfortable and think about the last time you and your partner had some great sex together. As the thoughts get more intense, do some deep breathing and focus on creating vivid memories in your mind. If you notice your nipples hardening or your vagina getting wetter, even without much touch on your part, that is a pretty good sign that your genital sensory cortex has been activated. Now you can move more confidently into the next step.
3. Share Your Most Intimate Fantasy with Him
Instead of immediately sharing with your partner all of this scientific stuff, talk to him about a really intimate fantasy that you've always wanted to experience. If you explain it all in as much detail as you can, I can almost guarantee that it's going to arouse him (which means that his genital sensory cortex has been "triggered" too). As you find yourself getting more excited, it's time for point #3.
4. Allow Him to Touch Areas Where You Want to Cum but Haven’t. Literally Think it Through.
Here's the real clincher. Usually, when we find ourselves getting aroused, we gravitate to the parts of our body that will get us to "the mountaintop" as quickly as possible. This time, though, I want you to aim for a part of your body that either doesn't get enough sexual attention or you have yet to receive an orgasm from.
If a vaginal orgasm is your goal, have him go with your vaginal region — no clitoris, just vagina. While your partner is gently touching you around and/or inside of your vagina opening, again, deep breathe and think about nothing else other than how his touches are making you feel. No matter how much you may want him to stimulate your clitoris, reject the notion. Focusing on your vagina only and how much pleasure you want to receive can very well increase the chances of your vagina becoming super aroused, making it more possible than ever to have a vaginal orgasm.
5. Try a Bit of Mental “Edging”.
Final point. When it comes to "tripping off" your genital sensory cortex, something else that I read about was the importance of focusing on the pattern of thought then touch, thought then touch. What immediately comes to my mind is it's all like a form of mental edging. For instance, think about your partner caressing your neck, then ask him to do it, only for a few seconds, before you go back to only thinking about it again. We all know how human nature is — the less we get something, the more we desire it. If you and your partner both go through this pattern for 10 minutes or so, you very well could end up climaxing, a few times, without intercourse ever taking place. All thanks to learning how to tap into your genital sensory cortex. You're welcome. #wink
For more love and relationships, features, dating tips and tricks, and marriage advice, check out xoNecole's Sex & Love section here.
Featured image by Getty Images
Before getting into that, though, I think it's important to put on record that while the cold, flu and COVID are all viruses, they are not one and the same. While I'm pretty sure you hear about what makes COVID, well, the way that it is ad nauseum (you can check out some CDC info here), as you're navigating through things like fevers, sore throats, coughing, congestion, headaches, fatigue, shortness of breath and other things that can make being sick an absolute nightmare, it's important to keep in mind that while a cold and the flu are both respiratory viruses, the flu has much more severe symptoms.
Not only that but the first 3-4 days are when you typically catch the brunt of it all with colds and the flu taking 1-2 weeks to fully get past. It's also important to keep in mind that if you happen to have a fever, chills and a load of fatigue, that is usually not a common cold; that's usually the flu; however, if you're not exactly sure, you can always make an appointment to see your doctor (because again, COVID).
Now with all of that out of the way, how in the world does copulation (and/or oral sex) prove to be just about as effective as "an apple a day keeps the doctor away"? Sit tight. You might just be surprised.
Sex Lowers Your Stress Levels
There's nothing good that comes from being stressed out all of the time. That's why I'm such a huge supporter of people being extremely proactive when it comes to balancing out the stress triggers that are in their life.
That said, I'm pretty sure it comes as no shocker to you that when you are stressed, it can compromise your immune system (more on that in just a sec). When that happens, your body can actually produce flu-like symptoms (ugh). That's the bad news. The good news is when you have sex, it raises your endorphin and oxytocin levels which are both feel-good hormones. Sex also has the ability to lower your cortisol (your natural stress hormone) levels as well as your blood pressure — and when it comes to managing stress, that is always a good thing.
Sex Boosts Your Immunity
There is absolutely no way that you can fight off viruses that lead to sickness if your immune system is shot. One way you can do that is by checking out the article, "Ready To Try 10 Quick & Easy Immune-Boosting Hacks?" on our site. Matter of fact, one of the points in it happens to give sex a big ole' shout-out. While it's kind of a long and scientific tale, the main reason why sex is so great for your immunity is because it helps your system to produce the kind of antibodies that are able to fight off viruses, bacteria and other germs that could lead to you not feeling very well. So, if you've not been making sex much of a priority these days, here's a really solid reason why you should definitely consider doing so.
Sperm/Semen Is a Multivitamin
An article that I wrote for the site a couple of years ago that received quite a bit of traction was, "Do You Swallow? The Unexpected Health Benefits Of Sperm". While I know that going down/giving head may not be everybody's cup of tea (check out "Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?"), there's absolutely no way around the fact that sperm and semen (the fluid that carries sperm) are literally like a multivitamin. They're packed with protein, vitamins B12 and C, zinc, calcium, magnesium, potassium, citrate, sugar, sodium, melatonin and more with a teaspoon of it equaling to around a stick of gum (five or so calories).
Since sperm/semen also contain oxytocin and progesterone, not only can they help to strengthen your immune system, they can help to get — or keep — you in a good mood too. Sperm/semen also have a great reputation for helping to decrease depression-related symptoms, speed up the healing process of wounds, fight aging signs, reduce inflammation and increase your overall lifespan. Plus, since the cold nor the flu can be spread via sexual fluids (sperm, semen or vaginal fluids), that's one more reason to consider giving sperm/semen a shot (pun intended); especially as a "intercourse alternative" until you're up to feeling better.
Kissing Increases Your Immunoglobulin A (IgA) Levels
If you like to kiss a lot and you rarely ever get sick, there could be a correlation between the two. Something that is located within the mucous membranes of your lungs, sinuses, stomach, intestines and bodily fluids are antibodies known as Immunoglobulin A (IgA). These are cool because they help your body to get better at fighting off illnesses.
So, when you and your partner exchange saliva, you are actually increasing each other's IgA levels. There are even studies which cite that having sex 1-2 times a week can significantly boost your IgA levels too. Crazy, huh?
Orgasms Can Clear Up Congestion
Are you someone who fakes orgasms? If so, this is a good reason to quit — right here and right now. Believe it or not, experiencing an orgasm can help to clear up a clogged up nose! While scientists and medical professionals are still trying to unpack exactly why this is the case, what they believe is, going through all of the phases of an orgasm — excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution — can work together to help to clear out your nasal passages. And since a stuffy nose is one of the most annoying things about being sick, this is definitely some pretty good food for thought.
Orgasms Are a Natural Pain Reliever
Remember how I gave a shout-out to endorphins earlier in this piece? Another benefit that comes from them is they're a natural painkiller. So, whenever you are touched or touched, that helps to stimulate the release of them. In fact, there is plenty of data to support that sex helps to reduce the discomfort that is associated with headaches and even migraines. Sex can help to soothe body aches too. So, if you happen to be someone who tries and avoids sex when your head is pounding, according to science, it's something that you actually should be totally open to running to instead of away from. Let me tell it, it beats the hell outta Advil and NyQuil. Maybe that's just me, though.
Certain Positions Can Reduce the Chance of Spreading Germs
Even though viruses like colds and the flu cannot be spread via sexual fluids, they can when someone coughs or sneezes (which is why still wearing a mask during this pandemic is so important). That's why you can definitely still run the risk of getting your partner sick if you decide to have sex while you are contagious (which is around two weeks with a cold or COVID and 3-7 days for the flu). Still, if you want to be able to get into some of the benefits that sex provides after the first few days of falling ill, the key is to get into positions where you and your partner aren't exactly face to face like spooning, doggy style and/or reverse cowgirl.
Sex Improves Your Quality of Sleep
One way that you can definitely make yourself vulnerable when it comes to catching a virus is not getting enough sleep ("getting enough" means sleeping no less than 6-8 hours every night, not every once in a while). That's because a result of sleep deprivation is a weakened immune system and, as we already addressed, the worse off your immune system is, the more susceptible you are to falling ill. I think we all can attest to the fact that a good round of sex can produce some of the best sleep EVER. That's because sex increases hormones like oxytocin, prolactin, progesterone, endorphins and dopamine — all of which help you to feel really good as they relax your system and calm your mind as well.
Like I said, virus 2.0 season is right in our faces (pun intended); that's unavoidable. But if you're open to having more sex than usual, you literally increase your chances of avoiding them. I can't think of a more gratifying, pleasurable and rewarding way to do it either. I really can't.
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However, I have to say we are getting better about openly talking about sex. This is because women are tapping into their feminine side now more than ever. We want to explore our bodies and do all the things that give us pleasure. And this includes exploring who we are in the bedroom. But most times we don't know where to start or what to do. Other times, our partners can be more sexually advanced causing us to feel less confident in our own sex skills. Listen, sex is a whole experience. You don't know what you're willing to do or not do until you try it.
Here are six simple sex positions that take things back to basics while helping you tap into your wild side in the bedroom.
1.Missionary
The missionary position is a classic and a favorite for some women. If you love to be dominated by your partner and deepen emotional connection, this position is for you. What's great about this position is that you can let go of your insecurities by allowing your partner complete control of your body. And I have to say it's the eye contact for me. There is nothing sexier than making direct eye contact with your partner during sex. It allows you to connect with your partner. Caught up in this moment, you will build up the courage to want to try other positions with your partner or even take control.
2.Get On Your Knees
Nothing will make you feel sexier and more confident than giving your partner oral sex. Men love head and women love head too. With this position, you are in full control. You are the creative director of how you get to please your partner. You control the pace, and rhythm of all things you can do with your mouth and tongue. Don't shy away sis, show your partner what that mouth do.
3.Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl
Believe it or not, some women are not one hundred percent comfortable riding dick. It can be uncomfortable at first, but "girl on top" is where it's at. This position will help build your confidence by giving your partner a full-frontal view of your body. Remember, men are visual beings. With this position, you have their full attention. You are in control of the rhythm, depth, and speed.
But if you rather not make eye contact with your partner, flip it, and put that thang in reverse with reverse cowgirl. This way, your insecurities don't flood your mind. And you can do your thing while he admires you from behind. Still not convinced? Get your partner a blindfold - taking away one sense will heighten the others.
4.From the Back
"Face down, ass up, that's the way we like to fuck." Was it 2 Live Crew or Meek Mill that is known for this lyric? Anyways, what's good about the doggy-style position is that it's comfortable for both partners. It allows you to submit to your partner as they control the rhythm and power of each thrust with easy access to the box. If you're feeling self-conscious about your body, it hides the front of your body. You can relax and enjoy your partner stroking you from behind or participate with your hands or sex toys. And according to Bustle, doggy-style is America's favorite sex position for both men and women.
5.Spooning
This position helps you feel more comfortable with your partner. How? Because you and your partner are pressed against each other. It's intimate, comforting, and allows for connection. With spooning, both partners can control the motion. This works especially well if you are not sure what speed or pressure is preferred by your partner. It's also a great position for women who don't orgasm easily.
6.Face-to-Face
GiphyAgain, staring into your partner's eyes with close physical contact allows you to establish a deep, intimate connection. Here, anything goes. Masturbation or penetration. If you like watching your partner enjoy you, this is the position for you.
We all have insecurities when it comes to sex. But our insecurities shouldn't stop us from tapping into our sexual selves. Women are highly sensual beings. It's in our nature. And it's time we embrace that.
So, go ahead sis. Show off your wild side in the bedroom with one of the sex positions above.
For more love and relationships, features, dating tips and tricks, and marriage advice, check out xoNecole's Sex & Love section here.
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Keep scrolling for TV series and films to stream that are basically porn, without sacrificing your viewing pleasure.
The Handmaiden (2016)
A South Korean film released in 2016, The Handmaiden puts the "erotic" in erotic thriller. In the film, a con man, with plans to marry a Japanese heiress to steal her fortune and have her committed, hires a pick-pocket to help him do his bidding. However, things get complicated when the "handmaiden" becomes romantically entangled with the heiress herself. Sex and seduction no doubt ensues.
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Premature (2019)
Summertime is the season for new love and this is portrayed poetically in this 2019 film. A love affair blooms between a music producer and a poet. The Harlem backdrop is poignant and their romance is just as hot as the actors portraying the lovebirds navigating the ups and downs of a budding relationship.
Where to Watch: Hulu
Sex/Life (2021)
Speaking of sex life, the title of this Netflix series says it all. Sex/Life follows a woman struggling with accepting her reality as a stay-at-home mom-of-two as the nostalgia of her younger years having amazing sex with a bad boy old flame come flooding back to her. Things become even trickier when her former beau returns into her present, shaking up her life and marriage with her husband. And can I just say... episode 3?? Netflix recently reported that 20 million viewers replayed it just to see Adam Demos showing us what he's working with. You've been warned.
Where to Watch: Netflix
The Voyeurs (2021)
What happens when your desire to partake in voyeurism reaches killer heights? The Voyeurs is a 2021 film that centers on a young couple played by Sydney Sweeney (Euphoria) and Justice Smith (All the Bright Places). The Amazon Original plays with the idea of peeking into another couple's sex life, the obsession and the temptation around voyeurism, and the deadly consequences that may follow.
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Bridgerton (2020-)
With how this cast got done in the 1800s, we couldn't not include Bridgerton as one of the entries in this list. The hit Netflix series (Shonda Rhimes' first offering in her deal with the media juggernaut) follows the elite social circle of high society members and their affairs. You'll come for Regé-Jean Page, but you'll stay for the trysts.
Where to Watch: Netflix, of course.
Run the World (2021-)
Starz has been keeping the streaming streets hot with content that is explicit but doesn't sacrifice plot for porn. Tastefully done and beautifully executed is how you can describe the sex scenes shown in the recently renewed series Run the World. The series follows four girlfriends and their love lives in Harlem as well as their friendships with each other.
Where to Watch: Starz App
Insecure (2016-)
Speaking of Black women navigating their love lives and showing that we too are sexual beings unapologetically, we'd be remiss not to include the GIF-worthy event that is Insecure. The series returns for its fifth and final season in October and we can't wait to see what Issa Rae and friends has in store for us.
Where to Watch: HBO Max, Amazon Prime
Adore (2013)
Adore is an Australian film that stars Naomi Watts and Robin Wright as two best friends who fall in love and have sexual relationships with each other's sons. What begins as a teenage tryst spans over a course of decades, interfering with the young men's ability to have fruitful relationships with women their own ages. What could be complicated by that? The cinematography, score, scenery, and sexcapades are what makes this one a must-watch.
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Euphoria (2020-)
Euphoria focuses on a cast of adults playing high school kids, yes, but there's no denying that Euphoria has a plethora of sex scenes (and a fire soundtrack and editor) that makes some of these scenes hit different than most. The Zendaya-led HBO series goes there with topics like acceptance, abuse, sexuality, and more.
Where to Watch: HBO Max, Amazon Prime
Below Her Mouth (2016)
Jasmine is engaged. Dallas doesn't care. As a fashion editor minding her business and living her life, Jasmine never expected to meet anyone like Dallas, whose confidence reels her in more than anything else. What ensues is a forbidden affair between two women, which may or may not prove to be an eye-opener about what each of the women actually need in their lives.
Where to Watch: Google Play, Amazon Prime
The Sinner (2017-)
Although, it's a crime drama more than anything, I can certainly vouch for the explicit scenes of the first season in the hit anthology series. Entitled "Cora," Jessica Biel is a force on the screen. And before everything is turned upside down, she manages to let her freak flag fly in a number of NSFW scenes. We were more than here for it.
Where to Watch: Netflix
Obsession (2015)
I'm all for a good affair story, mainly because movies like Unfaithful made me realize how rich and filled with erotic opportunities the topic is filled with. There's something about the secrecy. In Obsession (also called, Rendez-Vous), the film follows a woman who has made an B&B in France after inheriting a house. She moves there with her family in tow. Shortly thereafter, she meets a younger, handsome man whose presence threatens the life she's made at home with her husband and kids. But sis doesn't care, she's tempted by what's forbidden.
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Gypsy (2017)
Naomi Watts stars in this Netflix original as a therapist that finds herself spiraling as she erases the thin line between professional and personal with some of her clients. Nothing tastes more delicious than the things you're not supposed to have.
Where to Watch: Netflix
Newness (2017)
In a hook-up crazed culture, it can be hard to compete with "new." A young couple decide to play with the idea of expanding their boundaries to keep up with wanting to experience new people sexually while being in a relationship. Sometimes trying something or someone new isn't worth the risk.
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
28 Hotel Rooms (2012)
What begins as a night of passionate sex, two people find it hard to not want more. Instead of leaving each other behind one night in a hotel room, an accountant and a novelist maintain a steamy affair over a span of years. Doing so threatens to upend their everyday lives.
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
A Teacher (2013)
A high school teacher has a passionate affair with one of her students that quickly begins to spiral into an unhealthy obsession as the teacher realizes her fantasy for what they are isn't their reality.
Where to Watch: Hulu
You (2019)
Sure, it's more about an introspective man with homocidal tendencies, but at its center, there's love. And sex. Joe Goldberg is the manager of a bookstore with an unhealthy obsession with the women he falls for. So unhealthy that his obsessions become deadly. In the first season, there was Beck as the object of his desire. And by season two, there's Love. The popular thriller returns for its third season on October 15.
Where to Watch: Netflix
Duck Butter (2018)
If you want unapologetic steamy sex scenes in a film, look no further than Duck Butter. The Alia Shawkat-starring film centers on two women who haven't had a lot of luck in love and seek to put their relationship on the fast track. They make a pact to have sex every hour for 24 hours, uninterrupted. Spoiler alert: the sexual intimate experiment isn't what the two strangers thought it would be.
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Monogamy (2010)
Lust and jealousy creates this unconscious uncoupling between the two lovebirds in this film. A Brooklyn photographer becomes smitten with one of his clients that hires him for his services. The pair played by Rashida Jones and Chris Messina fall for each other, but their love affair quickly unravels as reality sets in.
Where to Watch: Hulu
The L Word (2004-2009)
Groundbreaking for its time, it's hard to think of The L Word and the incredible sex scenes not to come to mind. The provocative series follows a group of friends in LA each navigating their own love and lust lives. What is interesting is the sexual fluidity of the cast of characters that include lesbians and bisexual women. The sex scenes are Hot with a capital "h."
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime, Showtime
The United States vs. Billie Holiday (2021)
The Lee Daniels-helmed films The United States vs. Billie Holiday chronicles the time during the blues singer's career when the United States sought to make her the face of their efforts to racialize their war on drugs. Her song "Strange Fruit" was seen as a threat and Billie had to make decisions of whether she should sing or allow herself to be silenced. Aside from the controversies and the sometimes heavy imagery, Trevante Rhodes and Andra Day's chemistry sizzled.
Where to Watch: Hulu
Lovecraft Country (2020)
Lovecraft Country's cancellation was met with much controversy. The 2020 horror drama series didn't make it past its inaugural season but its impact remains felt in television. Jurnee Smollett and newcomer Jonathan Majors are solving a mystery in the 1950s on-screen, but the chemistry between the stars is ever-felt. Add a few memomorable sex scenes to the mix and this entry makes for an undeniable contender for this list.
Where to Watch: HBO Max, Amazon Prime
In the Cut (2003)
In a change of pace, Mark Ruffalo and Meg Ryan star in an erotic thriller centering around an English teacher who finds herself being questioned as a witness because of a dead body found near her home. The detective doing the questioning and her end up feeling a spark that eventually ignites an erotic awakening experienced by Ryan's character. What unfolds is sex, murder, and intrigue In the Cut.
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Game of Thrones (2011-2019)
So a lot of Game of Thrones fans would throw away the entire last season if they could, but that doesn't negate the fact that the long-running HBO series had a plethora of litty sex scenes during its run. The fantasy drama isn't for everyone, but we're show the love scenes are.
Where to Watch: Hulu, Amazon Prime
Four Lovers (2010)
In this French film, the concept of being swingers is explored as two married couples decide to swap partners with each other for uninhibited sexual exploration.
Where to Watch: Hulu
Featured image by Lovecraft Country via Tenor
