Motherhood
"A beautiful little blessing has chosen me to be her mother. So honoured to have this gentle soul in my life there are no words to describe the lifelong bond that I now share with you my angel. There is no greater love."
Additionally, she added "Mother" to her Instagram bio.
Details so far have been kept firmly under wraps, but that doesn't mean she didn't break the internet. She posted all the above three days before her 51st birthday, making her a mom for the first time much later in life, after spending decades living her life as a single woman, and unfortunately being subjected to having to answer to the reason why she doesn't have kids. But since 2018, she has hinted at her time coming, with possible babies on the way.
She admitted to the Mirror:
"I think about having children all the time. But now with the way science is I think I can do it when I want."
Of course, Campbell is referring to IVF or in vitro fertilization, a process where an egg is combined with sperm in vitro. Doctors monitor and stimulate a person's ovulatory process, removing an ovum or ova from their ovaries and letting sperm fertilize them in a lab. In Campbell's case, she likely had a surrogate inseminated, but this doesn't rule out potential adoption either.
"I'll see what the universe brings me. For now, what the universe has delivered is very much in the spirit of a 'chosen family.'"
And by 'chosen family' she means young celebs who she mentors, such as Ryan Destiny, who she endearingly refers to as her daughter, fashion model Adut Akech, who affectionately refers to Campbell as her "mama" in the fashion world, or the children from the Rising Sun, a Kenyan orphanage.
But now, Naomi is a true mama.
GiphyCampbell joins the ranks of another supermodel, Tyra Banks, who welcomed a son via surrogate, with then-partner Erik Asla in 2016 after a similar years-long struggle to become a parent. Tyra had been dating the Norwegian photographer since 2013, and shared a photo captioned:
"The best present we worked and prayed so hard for is finally here. He's got my fingers and big eyes and his daddy Erik's mouth and chin. As we thank the angel of a woman that carried our miracle baby boy for us, we pray for everyone who struggles to reach this joyous milestone. York Banks Asla, welcome to the world."
For now, Naomi is extremely tight-lipped on the details and only showing off glimpses. But she did thank everyone for their well wishes, saying on Instagram:
"Never have I felt so much love like I have over these past few weeks , I am so thankful for the love that you've poured onto my daughter.and I Thank you all for the Warm messages of support and birthday wishes."
In other words, your next chapter in life starts when you want it to. No matter how old you are. Congratulations to this new mom!
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We can't wait to see who else announces they are expecting as the year goes on, but for now, here are all the pregnant celebrities that you'll be hearing about in 2021. Congrats, all!
Cardi B + Offset
Cardi B and Offset of Migos perform onstage at the BET Awards 2021.
Johnny Nunez/Getty Images for BET
After revealing that she and husband Offset are expecting baby number 2 at last week's BET Awards, Cardi B took to social media to confirm that our eyes weren't playing tricks on us. Accompanied by an intimate maternity photo, the "WAP" rapper shares:
"We listened to each other, communicated, prayed and then God blessed us and our family with another little blessing. Our home feels so blissful and very busy, but we are ready and so happy!! Thank you soo much everyone for the congrats and well wishes"
The couple are already parents to daughter Kulture Kiari Cephus, who turns 3 in July. Offset is also dad to daughter Kalea (6), and sons Kody (6) and Jordan (11), from previous relationships.
Ludacris + Eudoxie
Ludacris and Gabonese model Eudoxie Mbouguiengue, married back in 2014. Since, they have welcomed a daughter Cadence (5), and back in May, announced that their rainbow baby is on the way. The couple made the announcement on their Instagram accounts on the Lova Lova's birthday. She captioned a photo of her flaunting her baby bump in front of bouquets of flowers:
"Blessed year indeed."
Luda followed up with,
"How is it YOUR birthday [and you're] giving me the greatest gift?"
The couple is also parents to Ludacris' daughters Karma and Cai. They're also raising his youngest sister, Christella.
Erica Mena + Safaree
They may be going through some things, but back in May, the Samuels announced that they were expecting their second child together. Since, there has been a bit of ups and downs, but Safaree shared the happy arrival news on a now-deleted Instagram post captioned:
"MR Straittt Jr is here!!"
Mena has recently revealed that their son's birth was an early arrival amid their divorce. The couple are also parents to their 17-month-old daughter, Safire.
Aja Naomi King
Our girl Aja Naomi King is a new mommy! The How to Get Away with Murder alum announced via Instagram that she recently welcomed her first child, and showed off her postpartum body. King even penned a letter to her unborn child, opening about her pregnancy struggles and previous miscarriages.
"I suffered two miscarriages and even now trying to capture what it felt like in words is simply absurd to me because I will never have language enough for it."
She continued:
"At first I wasn't sure about sharing my experience because I felt like so many other people had way worse experiences than I did, but I realized that I can't treat pain like an Olympic sport, as if it's a competition and only those who have the worst stories win the right to talk about it."
King has not revealed her baby's name or birthdate, but we couldn't be any happier for her!
Usher + Jenn Goicoechea
Usher and his girlfriend, Jenn Goicoechea, are expecting their second child together. She debuted her baby bump on the red carpet of the 2021 iHeartRadio Music Awards, which Usher hosted.
Goicoechea, who is an Epic Records A&R exec, wrote on Instagram:
"'Another One' in my @djkhaled voice #Iheartawards"
The couple have not announce the sex of their baby-to-be or when Goicoechea is due but they've been pretty busy as Usher and Goicoechea already share daughter Sovereign Bo, whom they welcomed in September 2020.
Sydel Curry + Damion Lee
OK, so if you didn't know, Golden State Warriors player Damion Lee is married to Stephen Curry's sister, Sydel. And the Curry family is growing by one as later this year, Sydel and Damion are expecting their first child.
Sydel Curry-Lee had a rather difficult journey to getting pregnant, which she recently documented on social media.
"A small glimpse into my #ivfjourney. While there is so much to this part of the journey, I wanted to share what it looked like for me. I dealt with this in private (off social media) for a lot of reasons & thankful that I did because, whew the hormones. it was hands down one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, but it wasn't impossible."
This would explain why, in a now extremely viral video, brother Steph, and sis-in-law Ayesha, went absolutely apeshit when they learned the news. Loooove!
Ne-Yo + Crystal Smith
Ne-Yo and wife Crystal Smith's Miss Independent has made her early debut, y'all! Sharing an image of the smiling singer and their newborn daughter, the entrepreneur announced Isabella Rose Smith's early arrival on Instagram.
"God said don't make plans honey!" She came 4 weeks early but right on time for mommy!"
The couple announced that they were expecting in February, after surviving a divorce announcement and very public separation.
"LADIES N' GENTS. Introducing the newest member of the Smith Clan ISABELLA ROSE SMITH! Welcome to the world lil' mama. And know that I got you thru when, where and whatever. Now and forever. You got 3 big brothers and a big sister that all love you and got your back too. Not to mention a whole tribe of friends and family. @itscrystalsmith we did that Lovely, yes we did. Thank you for this gift of a little princess. I LOVE YOU. #ATHO4L #ProudPapaMoments"
A happy ending that gives us all the feels!
Meghan Markle + Prince Harry
After a very tumultuous few years, Meghan Markle has somehow managed to keep her mental health in tact to give birth to her second child. Their daughter Lilibet "Lili" Diana, joined brother Archie, last month and the family in LA. Meghan and Prince Harry released a message about their new joy, saying,
"On June 4th, we were blessed with the arrival of our daughter, Lili. She is more than we could have ever imagined, and we remain grateful for the love and prayers we've felt from across the globe. Thank you for your continued kindness and support during this very special time for our family."
Continue to protect your family and peace, guys!
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But one of our favorite things about Kelly, is--if we can choose just one--her realist approach to being a mom, in a world where so much can be...pre-packaged. Recently, she took to her social media to prove just how real giving birth can be, post-pregnancy ab realness and all.
It all started while working with her trainer, Rebecca. The two were educating us on diastasis recti, which is the partial or complete separation of the abs, or "six-pack" muscles, that meet at the midline of your stomach. The ladies taught us how to test for the condition, and Kelly showed up prepared to show how real post-pregnancy can be for the body, openly rocking her deeper-tinted core for the world to see, unapologetically.
"I don't know about any of the moms out there but when my core is weak, my back starts to hurt. And my neck. And sometimes my lower back. So we're going to show you how to test for it."
Kelly Rowland/Instagram Story
The mom of two then demonstrates how to test for diastosis recti, with Rebecca and new terms-to-know in tow. In her midsection, Kelly has what is considered a stimulation of the pigment cells in the skin/melanocytes by the female hormones oestorgen and progesterone to produce more pigment when exposed to the sun.
Women with a light brown skin type who are living in regions with intense sun exposure are particularly susceptible to developing this condition. The discoloration usually disappears spontaneously over a period of several months after giving birth.
But listen, mama absolutely did not care, giving a huge cosign to moms whose bodies change postpartum.
Kelly Rowland/Instagram Story
Rowland, who is 40, may have a snapback that only most of us can dream about, but she didn't put any pressure on herself to do so. Thanks to genetics and a fit pregnancy, she was able to bounce back in no time. But for this pregnancy, she is taking the time to show off what real women go through, in real time.
She told Billboard:
"I'm still navigating myself through motherhood. So the less pressure I put on myself and allow myself grace -- because I'm not going to get it right every single time – I think it's only fair to just breathe and use your instincts to navigate your way through. But I've learned not to put so much pressure on myself and to let my creativity flow."
And from here, her social media has went from life pre-baby, to advice, new favorite products, and more. She even shows off, and uses her platform, to guide new mothers in a way where they feel as if they're not alone, which plenty of new moms can appreciate.
Whew, there goes Kelly Rowland being a superhuman again, ladies and gentlemen.
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Growing up, Simmons followed the "American Dream" path until she realized it wasn't the dream it was sold to be. "I was doing all the things that you're taught you're supposed to do: Go to college, get a good job, a nice car, house, get married, and have kids," she told xoNecole.
But that path led her to hit rock bottom. After a divorce in 2016, her finances were being used to keep up with a lifestyle that no longer satisfied her and left her feeling depleted. "It was completely draining me," she said.
"My money was going into the house and utilities with $300 a month. The lawn care was $150 every two weeks. I'll never forget. I was in this huge house that was supposed to be a happy home, yet I was broken and cried my way into the new year in 2017."
After hitting rock bottom, she knew there was nowhere left to go but up. She started asking herself questions about her finances such as: What can I do to grow my money? What can I do to be financially independent?
After being honest with herself and researching, she discovered a solution that would change the trajectory of her life: the FIRE Movement, which is an acronym for Financial Independence Retire Early.
Courtesy of Lakisha Simmons
For adopters of the FIRE Movement lifestyle, the intention is to save and invest in extreme amounts over a short period of time with the goal being to retire early as a result. Lakisha explained:
"I focused on the idea of financial independence by saving up 25 times my annual living expenses and I will live off of 4% of that lump sum."
Simmons is now teaching people through courses and workbooks about her financial freedom journey and how the FIRE Movement put her on a path to becoming a millionaire.
"I've consistently invested 60% of my income and proceeds from my workbook to help women learn how to skills to make themselves more marketable in The Unlikely AchieveHer. Not having to 'work' to pay my bills and live a comfortable lifestyle is a stress-free way to live so it isn't difficult for me to cut back on some luxury items here and there in order to invest more money. I have more choices on how I spend my time and that's what life is all about," she added.
If you're ready to level up your finances in 2021 and expand your mind to what is financially possible for you, then here are the steps Simmons recommends.
1. Reduce Your Expenses
Courtesy of Lakisha Simmons
One of the first steps Simmons took was selling her home. Even though the appearance of it was nice, she knew she no longer needed it for where she wanted to go. This decision allowed her to save $12,600 a year, according to Business Insider. To slash your expenses, you should look at where your money is going line by line in your budget, and identify areas you can cut back on.
- Cut your grocery bills by considering Aldi (gluten-free, organic, and fresh produce options available).
- Cut your phone bill by switching to Mint Mobile - plans start at just $15 a month. Simmons says she's been a customer for years.
- Shop around for auto and home insurance every two years.
- Don't be afraid to downsize, don't be ashamed.
Ask yourself what you truly value, and determine the expenses holding you back that can go. No need to keep up with Joneses!
2. Invest. Invest. Invest.
Simmons highly encouraged women at any age to start investing. "It's not as scary as it seems," she said.
Adding, that a common fear she noticed was that people believed they would "lose all their money in the stock market." She explained that you should calculate your risk in the stock market and allow your money to sit, grow, and mature.
"We're going to plant a seed out of our 401k this year, and in five years, seven years, 10 years, that seed will be fully grown in blossom and harvest into a nice lump sum."
If your employer doesn't contribute to your 401k, she went on to explain what it's still important to contribute:
- Your contributions are tax-deferred which means you get to invest the money pretax. That actually allows you to save money that isn't taxed and lowers your taxable income on your paycheck.
- Compound interest is your friend. Over the years, the stock market's compound interest is working for you growing your money even if you stop contributing new funds.
3. Maximize Your Retirement Accounts
Courtesy of Lakisha Simmons
One of the main challenges Simmons sees among women is that they are not taking advantage of their tax-deferred retirement account at work.
"That's how I built most of my wealth," she said. She noted that she has a 457(b) through her employers. A 457(b) plan is an employer-sponsored, tax-favored retirement savings account. With 457(b) plans, you contribute pre-tax dollars, which won't be taxed until you withdraw the money.
"The benefit of the 457 is as soon as you leave that workplace, you can start accessing that money. So it's perfect for people in the FIRE Movement because I'm planning to retire early. I can go ahead and start using my 457 as soon as I decide."
One of the biggest challenges she had to overcome was her mindset and belief that she could do it. She encourages women to find community. Simmons offers a free Facebook group people can join and courses and coaching opportunities for people ready to dive in.
Looking back on her financial journey, she can't believe how far she's come, and if she could tell her younger self anything, it would be to be fearless.
"I would tell her to be fearless, set a stretch goal for yourself. Because anything that you put out in the atmosphere that you want, you can have it as long as you believe you can have it," she said.
For more of Lakisha, check out her website.
Featured image courtesy of Lakisha Simmons
Being a new mom can really get to your head. It definitely wasn't what I was expecting (to say the very least). Not that I thought it would be easy peasy, but any mom knows that you can never really prepare for motherhood. We all have different stories of bringing life into the world. Mine included having a baby 10 weeks early, and being in the hospital myself after being diagnosed with preeclampsia that reached severe status within two days.
After my C-section, my room was suddenly full of strangers from a lactation consultant to a hospital social worker consuming me with a checklist of tasks that I had to complete before I could even think about bringing me and my baby home. At that point, I had a breakdown thinking, This is overwhelming. This is stressful. How am I going to do this? This is just... a lot.
Six months later, those thoughts really haven't gone away.
You wonder if you're doing a good job while you try to provide cruise ship-like entertainment for your little one 24/7 - and the nagging "mommy guilt" is more than difficult to shake. Sometimes all it takes is hearing someone say, "You're a great mom" to give us the strength we need to keep going. But when we don't get that reassurance from others, what stops us from giving it to ourselves?
We spend a lot of alone time with little humans who can't communicate back with us. This leaves plenty of room for self-deprecating thoughts. A turning point for me came when I was scrolling through Instagram stories and saw a set of affirmations from fellow new mom Aisha Howard, who welcomed her beautiful baby girl in December (can we just salute the moms that are super vulnerable with their journey? It's so brave!).
As much as I love affirmations, I never thought about doing them for myself and my life as a mom. Ever since, I've been doing my best to replace negative, self-consuming thoughts with positive statements that are true. With these affirmations, we can all start to conquer motherhood like the super-sheroes we really are.
LWA/Dann Tardif/Getty Images
1. "I'm doing a great job."
Because you are. You will never be perfect, but that's the beauty of it all. It's so tempting to scroll on Instagram and see other moms with their capes on doing it ALL and wonder if you're depriving your child. You're not *insert air hug here*. The most they need from you is love, compassion, and affection. You're giving them that, so give yourself a break.
And no matter what you (and your little one) look like at the end of the day (because let's be real, it can get rough), just know you did your best, and that's more than good enough.
2. "I deserve grace and compassion."
"..And I'll give it to myself first." Working from home with a baby is more than challenging. From spit-ups to diaper blowouts between emails and to-do lists, it can be overwhelming. But whether you're balancing life between loving on baby and Zoom meetings, a stay-at-home mom, or a full-on working woman, motherhood is not for the faint at heart.
You deserve grace, you deserve compassion, you deserve a break, and it's OK to provide it to yourself before anyone else does (or even knows to). Remind yourself that you were made for this and that you can do it with this affirmation.
3. "I'm an amazing mom."
That's it. That's the affirmation. Like the others, it's short and sweet, but powerful enough to switch the ongoing gears in your mind to a positive mindset instead of a negative, self-defeating one. Ultimately, it all boils down to the fact that you're such an amazing mom. Even though it might mean the world to hear that compliment and affirmation from others, sometimes we have to channel our inner mirror-rapper Issa Dee and tell ourselves with confidence and certainty that we are simply amazing mothers.
We give everything, including our actual selves, to our child(ren) as we pour out our energy and love daily. It might not always look the way we hoped and dreamed during our pre-motherhood life, but it's still nothing short of amazing.
4. "Needing a break doesn't make me a bad mom."
I think most new moms are realizing that a break is needed sooner than we're ready to take one. I'm literally in talks with my husband right now about putting our little one in daycare a couple of days a week. At the same time, there's this tugging feeling of whether I'm really ready to put her in someone else's care (especially a stranger *cringe*) for hours at a time.
But whether it's all day or just for an hour or two, you have to give yourself permission to need and take a break. It doesn't mean that you're careless, it means that you understand you have can't pour from an empty cup. So take the break, sis. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you for it. And you'll be refreshed and recharged to continue being an amazing mom.
5. "I'm the best mom for my child(ren)."
You were made to mother the children you have. It's one of the handful of purposes you were born for. However you became a new mom, through childbirth, adoption, surrogacy, you name it, you are the best person God has chosen to serve as the miraculous role of being their mom. No one else can do it but you. No one else is graced to do it.
Each child has their own story, challenges, and the journey that they'll experience, and God saw fit for you to be the one to help lead and guide them through it all. It really changes the perspective when you realize you were made for each other and gives you the confidence and strength to live, think, and speak accordingly.
6. "I cherish this time."
Because it goes so fast... so I've heard a million times. When we first brought our daughter home from the NICU, we received compassionate and empathetic eyes from every parent who noticed how exhausted we looked from sleepless nights and early mornings. But in hindsight, those first couple of months flew by.
As tiring as it can be, I know I'll miss these days that she actually wants me to hold and kiss her and overwhelm her with affection. So in the overwhelming times, I'm reminded with this affirmation to cherish it (and every phase of life we get to experience), because once it's gone, we can't get it back.
JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images
7. "I understand that to be my best, I have to take care of myself."
It seems impossible. Days go by before you think, "Wait.. when was the last time I showered?" Taking time to enjoy a long bath or a trip to the nail salon seems like it's out of the question, but like the flight attendants tell you on the airplane, you have to put on your own oxygen mask first before trying to help anyone with theirs.
I remember our first flight with our little one, they made sure I knew that I had to help myself before I could try to help her. That was a tough pill to swallow in the rare event a mask would be needed. But the reality is, we can't pour from an empty well. And there's nothing wrong with taking time to fill up.
8. "I am strong."
Motherhood can make us feel like we're falling apart. Before venturing on this lifelong journey, we had it all together or at least felt like we did. We didn't have another human life to constantly look after and protect. Now, we find ourselves feeling inadequate as we try to balance it all. But the truth is, your strength is what helps you.
No matter how little of it you have, you use it daily to be the mother and woman you were born to be. It doesn't always feel like it, but you're strong and capable. On those days your strength is depleted, speak this affirmation and hang on to your second wind.
9. "I can do this."
Take a look back over your journey of motherhood. No matter how long it's been, you'll realize that not only can you do this, but you have been doing it. Life can be a blur as you learn to take care of your little one, yourself, and everyone in your household. But you can do it because you already are.
Remember that you were literally made for this. It's one of the amazing reasons you were born. And after you reflect (and give yourself an "I did that!") and say your affirmation, take a well-deserved break.
10. "I'm not alone."
You can also add, "It's OK to ask for help." Motherhood can be a lonely journey, but the truth is you're not by yourself. The more I talk to moms, whether they're new in the game or have years of battle scars, the more I realize we're all in this together. If you don't have family or friends you feel like you can lean on, I feel for you.
Still, there are ways you can connect with other moms from local Facebook groups to apps like Peanut that help you build relationships. You might feel lonely at times, but just know you're not alone. You got this!
11. "I am exactly what he/she needs."
If (and when) you find yourself wondering if you're fit to be their mom, know that you are, and this affirmation helps you remember that. As new moms, and as moms in general, we can easily obsess over every small decision that we believe will determine their long-term path. We question if we're doing the right thing, if we're the best thing for them, and even if there's someone else who could do the job better.
You are the best thing, and there's not someone else. You're the woman who is most fitting to nurture and care for your child as their mom. Yes, they will have other influences in the forms of aunts, friends, cousins, etc., but there's nothing like the bond they'll have with you.
12. "I'm more than a mom."
Life doesn't stop when you become a mom. Yes, your time is entangled with diaper changes, feedings, and going through multiple baby outfits a day, but you're still more than that. Being a mom is a major part of your life, but it doesn't have to be your life. Whatever your job or career is, it's vital to keep pursuing your passions so you don't lose yourself.
I'm not an expert (and already see my six-month-old as my new BFF), but I feel like part of the reason we get overwhelmed is that we don't take time to indulge in things that excite us. It might be because we don't think it's OK or mom guilt is on 100. It's perfectly normal to be consumed with your children, but you need a life of your own too.
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