“The words we speak can either hurt us or heal us. I believe that your words are the most powerful weapon that our humanity has. Believe it or not, you are the very result of the words you have spoken over your life. Positive words have the power to change your life," she told xoNecole.
When it comes to manifesting your destiny, J. Ivory proclaims that you should think of affirmations as the pathway in which you want your actions to go. “You manifest affirmations best by doing the work and some of it is really hard work. I often tell my clients, 'If you see it, you can have it.' Visualize and write out how you see your highest/best self and start showing up as that person every day. Get to know the person you want to become. Be specific. What do they eat? How do they dress?” she asked. J. Ivory went on to say, “What books are they reading? If the person you want to become is financially free and wealthy, and that’s what you are affirming, then you need to ask yourself, 'How does my current spending habits and mindset align with the wealthy and financially-free person I want to become? What are some changes I can make today that I can be consistent at that will get me closer to my desired outcome?'"
Above all, she wanted to make sure folks realize that affirming the life you deserve calls for you to be unafraid of the specifics. “Sometimes, I find that people think that affirmations are some type of magic trick.” One thing to take away from J. Ivory's knowledge about affirmations is the importance of your actions aligning with your words.
In 2023, we want to be intentional about how we speak in every way. Since being about the action is a part of the beauty of manifesting affirmations, we rounded up 23 women to share the biggest affirmation they are speaking over themselves this year. Here’s what they had to say.
Tasha McCaskiel, Social Media Strategist and Creator of Black Girls in Media
@tashjmackk
Courtesy of Tasha McCaskiel
"I affirm a new and long-lasting love because 2022 was such a self-love year for me, and it was great. I also thrived professionally. [This] year I affirm room for a lifelong romantic partner! God has plans to prosper me, not to harm."
Terrica M. Wright, Founder and Co-Owner of The High Esteem Society
@terricatalks
Courtesy of Terrica M. Wright
"I give myself permission to be all that God has called me to be. An affirmation that got me through 2022 was 'Know who you are and whose you are.'"
Kimberlee Ward, CEO and Founder of Eternal Balance Candles
@theekward
Courtesy of Kimberlee Ward
"I am enough and worthy of the life I desire. I am speaking this affirmation over 2023 because this is the year to not only sit in a place of healing but recognize I deserve to enjoy and revel in what is on the other side of that healing. I want my awareness of what I know to be possible to expand toward the life I desire. I do not intend to act small or be small in my wants.
"As a 31-year-old Black woman, I deserve to have the luxuries of life and for my business, Eternal Balance Candles to become a six-figure business. I am speaking this affirmation over my life in 2023 to let myself know that I am enough and I can be in a place where I am thriving and not just surviving. I want myself to know that the survival mode I have been in served a purpose, to thank my physical body and mind for the changes it made through the hardships, and for me to know now is the time to shine being authentically me."
Mercedes Matthews, Meditation Instructor
@mercedesm7
Courtesy of Mercedes Matthews
“'It’s not what it cost, it’s what it’s worth.' This is my affirmation for 2023 because it reminds me to get comfortable making investments in my life that bring ease. The affirmation that got me through 2022 is 'Here I am, so here I’ll be.' A gentle reminder to be completely present in every moment possible."
Rechelle Dennis, ESSENCE Girls United Lead
@YungChelly
Courtesy of Rechelle Dennis
"'Take more fucking risks and love being uncomfortable!' It is important not to fear the power that resides within you. Find allies and people who can help you harvest your talents. How can you grow to the best that you can be without optimistically facing the unknown? 'Believe in yourself' is the corniest phrase known to mankind but it really got me through 2022. If you don’t believe in yourself and who you are, you can’t expect anyone else to. Everything starts within."
Kimberly Ndubizu, Founder and Host, Rich Little Brokegirls
@sliimkim
Courtesy of Kimberly Ndubizu
"'There are no limits to what women can achieve because there are no bounds to what women can dream.' For years women have slept the wildest dreams— today we are rested, determined, and will stop at nothing to see them true. Never doubt your intuition, it knows exactly where you are meant to be."
Rocquelle Porch, Podcaster of Black Style Anecdotes and Content Creator
@considermelovely
Courtesy of Rocquelle Porch
"'I can do hard things!' There are some things I want to accomplish in 2023, financially, professionally, and creatively. Doing so won’t be easy…requiring some sacrifice and grit, so I will be reminding myself of this daily, as I strive to reach my goals. The grass is green wherever I am."
Chasity Hart, Theater Teacher, Singer and Actress
@Iamchasityhart
Courtesy of Chasity Hart
"'Weight doesn’t determine my worth. Even if I’m afraid, I will do it. If I can dream it, I can have it. No one is me, and that is my power. I will thrive outside of my comfort zone. I will face resistance with action and faith. I am not what I’ve been through. I am who God made me.'"
Rasheda Crockett, Actress
@RashedaCrockett
Courtesy of Rasheda Crockett
"'God loves me and in love there’s no fear.' 'All things are possible' was the affirmation that got me through 2022."
Cashmiyr, Mompreneur
@cashthecre8tve
Courtesy of Cashmiyr
"'My intuition is clear and powerful.' 2022 was an extremely transformative year for me. Through the difficulties I’ve faced I came to realize that when I challenged or ignored my inner voice, I struggled the most. Fortunately, with the help of these lessons, I’ve arrived at a place where I don’t dare question the power of my intuition or the validity of my experiences. I know and feel that implementing this affirmation into my life will be incredibly beneficial, and I’m looking forward to meeting the woman I’ll be this time next year because of it. I believe in my strength and in life’s generosity."
Roberta Tabb, Digital Designer and Author
@therobertashow
Courtesy of Roberta Tabb
"I am only getting better. If I want it, I will get it. Last year’s mantra was, 'I am wealthy, emotionally, mentally and financially.'”
Kenniqua Howell, Content Creator, Storyteller and Social Strategist
@kenniquamona
Courtesy of Kenniqua Howell
"'I am worthy of all the good life has to offer, and I will continue to climb higher because there are no limits to what I can achieve.' Why? I’m so quick to question why I receive good things and in 2023, I am stepping into my full potential. I am no longer allowing people, things, jobs, etc. decide what I am capable of. In 2023, I am ready to wow myself and show myself that I am my wildest dreams and can achieve so much more than I think. I am no longer doubting myself, getting everything I deserve, and accepting every single thing… because I am worthy of it all."
Jennifer Francis-Smikle, Digital Media Strategist and Video Production
@MySpicedLife
Courtesy of Jennifer Francis-Smikle
"'I choose joy.' I want to do things that make me happy, make me smart and also serve ME. Oftentimes, I noticed that we are doing things to make others happy or doing things that will cause the least amount of turmoil with others. I am on the path to changing that for 2023. I celebrate all wins, big and small."
Daphine Bush, Influencer
@Simplydaph
Courtesy of Daphine Bush
"'I have the nature of love. All that I encounter will flourish in love.' This is my mantra this upcoming year because [the] God I love can and will empower us to lead our lives with love. We can spread love, walk in love, and abide in love despite what we experience and this new year, I’m always determined to love others and myself with the love of God. Last year's affirmation was, 'Be intentional.' I was determined to be intentional in all things. I was focused on my family, on my health, and on my relationship with God."
Shanika Graham-White, Content Creator and Cookbook Author
@orchidsnsweettea_
Courtesy of Shanika Graham-White
"'My year of restoration is unfolding. Every seed that was planted shall harvest in every form of my life.' This is what I'll be speaking over 2023 because it reminds me that my sowing in faith, perseverance, and patience will all reap something plentiful beyond what I could ask or think. 2022’s mantra was, 'Just keep going. Persevere, be consistent, and remain focused.'"
Bethany Everett-Ratcliffe, Content Creator
@twentysomethingplus
Courtesy of Bethany Everett-Ratcliffe
"I am worthy of all that comes my way. I don’t want to doubt any of my blessings. What I’ve hoped and prayed for is rightfully mine. Show me how good it can get."
Abigail Ogun, Digital Marketer and Travel Creator
@ladiestakenotes
Courtesy of Abigail Ogun
"2023 is a year of intentional growth and execution. I say this because I've spent a lot of time learning more about the content creator industry and how to turn it into a profitable business, as well as testing different methods to see what works for me and my audience. In 2023, I'm excited to jump into the deep end, implement everything I've learned and grow into my goals. I will take life as it comes and see the lessons in everything."
Marie Zoumanigui, Actress and Content Creator
@PetiteMarieNyc
Courtesy of Marie Zoumanigui
"'My thoughts become my reality.' I did a lot of trusting my abilities in 2022, it’s time for me to believe those abilities will get me to where I want to be as long as I keep working on them and putting the work in. 'I trust in my abilities' helped me get through 2022."
Tanisha Cherry, Influencer and Content Creator
@tanisha.cherry
Courtesy of Tanisha Cherry
"'My ambition and drive for success are balanced, healthy and in alignment with my highest good.' I'm dedicating 2023 to being locked into accomplishing the goals that will get me to that next level professionally. But at the same time, I am going to do it by remaining true to who I am and trusting my intuition along the way. Around the middle of 2022, I found myself being sad about not showing up for myself the way I need to and not having a support system to lean into. During these times, I had to remind myself that although I am feeling this, I am going to be okay."
Devana Turner, Technical Recruiter and Content Creator
@devanaturner
Courtesy of Devana Turner
"Nothing is more important than my mental and physical health. I will say no and say no often. No matter what your intentions are, take accountability for the impact."
Anita Aloys, Digital Content Creator
@auneetuh
Courtesy of Anita Aloys
"'I can accomplish everything I set out to achieve because fear is not a trait of a bad bitch.' This affirmation is so important to me because my goals for 2023 are huge and a little scary but I am determined to face them fearlessly as I'd love 2023 to be my best year yet! In 2022, I affirmed, 'I am receiving everything I deserve and the universe is aligning for my good!'"
Melissa Chanel Carnegie, Entrepreneur and Content Creator
@melissachanel
Courtesy of Melissa Chanel
"'I’m only going to get better!' I saved an Issa Rae TikTok this summer and it has stuck with me! [This] a reminder of where I’ve been and if I continue being my best self, I’m only going to get better! 2022 taught me that asking for help is a sign of self-respect and self-awareness. Asking for help has always been hard for me! This year I was able to practice and understand that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. This affirmation helped me with that!"
Klarke Foreman, Model, Graphic Designer and Business Owner
@kweenklarke
Courtesy of Klarke Foreman
"'I can do hard things.' Adulting, pursuing a dream, nurturing relationships, and establishing healthier habits internally and externally are all challenging (and that's just to name a few). But what's even harder is staying the same. I am choosing my hard, especially if it's for the betterment of myself. The affirmation that got me through 2022 was 'I am conquering my fears and becoming stronger each day.'"
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Featured image courtesy of Marie Zoumanigui
Self-proclaimed, Native New Yawker, Danielle Gray is a skincare girly we can trust. For years, she's been helping us get our skin together one online video at a time. You may know her as the @stylenbeautydoc on Instagram but Gray has also been featured in Allure, ESSENCE, Good Housekeeping and seen on Rachael Ray, Dr. Phil, and New York Live. We had the opportunity to chat with her about some hacks and products she trusts and this is what she had to say about keeping her skin glowing all winter long.
Courtesy of Danielle Gray
Her top fall/winter skincare must-haves:
- Sunscreen: "Yes, even darker skin—sun exposure also worsens pigmentation."
- Retinoids: "They do a number of things for the skin—help with texture, discoloration, boosts collagen, etc."
- Essence + Hydrating Serum: "Hydrated skin glows, looks bouncy, and is less prone to damage. And yes, you need to hydrate even if you have oily skin. I have oily skin and love using a combo of an essence and a hydrating serum on damp skin, followed by a moisturizer."
- Vitamin C: "It may not be for everybody, but I love vitamin C because there’s good research on its ability to protect the skin from environmental damage, boosting collagen, and its brightening properties. Aka, it comes with receipts that it’s going to help your skin look more snatched and glowy."
- Derm visits: "Okay, I know this isn’t a product, but I love how my derm treatments have made improvements to my skin along with what I do at home with my skincare routine."
Her go-to products for hyperpigmentation and discoloration:
"I know my answer is about to make people mad, but honestly, the best product is very subjective. What your skin loves, my skin may hate. But if you’re looking to treat discoloration, there are some things you can look for, but you’ll have to actually try the products to see how they work for you. Look for ingredients like niacinamide, lactic acid, alpha arbutin, licorice root, tranexamic acid, glycolic acid, vitamin C, retinoids, etc. You don’t need to find 8 different products with these ingredients—look for products that have a number of these ingredients, like Murad Rapid Dark Spot Correcting Serum.
"You also want to use sunscreen religiously–year-round. Sun exposure worsens pigmentation. Avoiding getting discoloration is probably one of the best ways to treat it—though in some cases, this isn’t practical. Irritation can lead to inflammation that can lead to hyperpigmentation. So avoiding irritation to the skin (i.e. burns, scratches, dryness, bug bites, acne, friction, etc.) can lessen your likelihood of getting dark spots.
"Another great tool is a skin of color pro—an esthetician and/or dermatologist who has extensive experience working on skin of color. Some discoloration doesn’t respond well to at-home treatments, and you may need to see a pro—but again, you want to see someone who knows what they’re doing with [your skin] because, in the wrong hands, it could get worse."
Courtesy of Danielle Gray
Her ultimate tip for avoiding dry skin in the winter:
"One of the best things you can do is remove yourself from hot showers. People HATE when I say this, but I’m not telling you to take an ice-cold shower. Hot water zaps the skin, and skin of color already suffers from dry skin—when you add cold winter and drying things like indoor heating and fabrics like wool, it’s a Sahara. Turn the water temperature down bit by bit. You can do it! Another best practice is to apply your moisturizer right after a shower while your skin is still damp."
Her recommendation for a simple nighttime skincare routine:
"Use a gentle cleanser for your skin type and current skin needs, slap on a moisturizer, and good night. If you wear makeup, remove the makeup first, gentle cleanser, and then moisturize. If you want to elevate this, you can use a retinol moisturizer Olay Retinol24 moisturizerso you kill two birds with one stone."
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Featured image courtesy of Danielle Gray
This was never more evident than this past weekend as an overabundance of creatives of color took over Duggal Greenhouse in Brooklyn for the latest installment of the pivotal summit. 3,500 attendees and 100 speakers across 25 panels to be exact. NYC was the last stop on their 2022 tour, as they have already set Atlanta and Los Angeles ablaze with the innovative energy of The Creative Collective NYC, a creative agency immersed in culture, dedicated to facilitating brave spaces for multicultural creatives. Ellis told xoNecole, “I'm really in awe today. I feel like I'm walking in a dream because I did see this in my head. So then, to see it in real life is a little surreal.”
The founder went on to say, “The best part is the people and the community, and I think we always wanted it to feel like a homecoming. And I feel like even for guests who have never been, it feels like even they're coming back to a homecoming, which is like the best thing you could ask for.”
Whether you attended a predominantly white institution, a historically Black college or university, or didn’t go to college at all, there was a space for everyone. And when I say it was like a homecoming we all dream of, I mean that.
Courtesy of Joce Blake
Activation Alley housed both Instagrammable and teachable moments. From LinkedIn’s multicolored stations empowering creatives to “Trust the Journey” and Instagram’s activation highlighting the next generation of Fashion Innovators to Onyx Collective’s nostalgic experience surrounding the Black hair experience, the activations panned the creative diaspora.
It was the perfect opportunity to connect with other creatives when you weren’t soaking up gems from the panels.
Some of those star-studded panels we enjoyed included:
Photo Courtesy of CULTURECON
Creative Genius: Lena Waithe
NYT Bestselling Author and previous Teen Vogue Editor-In-Chief, Elaine Welteroth and Emmy award-winning actress, producer, and screenwriter, Lena Waithe took to the Culture Stage to discuss how Waithe got her start, the difference between community and company, and the power of representation. Waithe recalled watching Halle Berry win her first Oscar when she shared, “I was in my room watching that by myself, emotional as hell. And it’s not lost on me that I fast-forward and I have a first at the Emmys for the Thanksgiving episode. And I’m really grateful for that because I can see the straight line from me sitting in my room watching Halle win.”
While The Chi creator is proud of what she’s invested in her craft, she said it’s the community that has lifted her up. “Community is a give and take. Company, you feel drained when it leaves, and with community, you feel full once they’re gone,” Waithe said.
Plugged[in] From Viral to Visionary
LinkedIn hosted a thoughtful conversation with everyone’s multi-hyphenated mom Tabitha Brown, the elite and funny social media star DeAndre Brown, and Erin Ceaser around the realities of being a successful multi-hyphenate while remaining grounded and authentic. It was very on-brand for the panelists and LinkedIn. The biggest nugget: consistency is the key to success, be it your 9 to 5 or your social media platform.
Creative Genius: Taraji P. Henson
In an unfiltered conversation with beauty and style expert, Blake Newby and TV host and producer, Speedy Morman, the oh-so-iconic, Taraji P. Henson dropped some gems. The Golden Globe-winning actress made sure to tell the audience, “For all the filmmakers and writers and up-and-coming producers and directors, we must tell our stories. It’s so important.”
The D.C. native also shared, “I hate sitting around waiting for someone to give me something, so I create my own doors to open and bring people through.” This was a theme throughout the day which spoke to CULTURECON’s reminder to all creatives to not only take up spaces but to own them.
Onyx Collective Presents: In Conversation with Tracee Ellis Ross
Lalea Raymond/CULTURECON
Everything's Trash star, Phoebe Robinson sat down with award-winning actress, producer, and entrepreneur, Tracee Ellis Ross to discuss Onyx Collective’s newest series, The Hair Tales. The intentional docuseries highlights the journey Black women have with their hair and how it leads to self-love. They also spoke about the power of storytelling and living in your whole truth.
Ross said, “As Black people, I feel that we are so often sold a lie about who we are, and I hope that Hair Tales joins the chorus of people who are poking holes in that lie, dispelling that lie and that we as Black people and Black women get to see ourselves and fall even more in love with who we are by watching this series.”
Prime Time: A Conversation on Claiming Space in TV
Host, writer and producer, Danielle Young moderated a fun conversation with actress extraordinaire, Meagan Good, actor and activist Kendrick Sampson, and executive producer, Jamal Henderson about their journeys in the television industry. Good shared, “When I have those days that are really tough, it really is about perspective. At the end of the day, this is a day in my life that I will never get back, so I have to choose to be intentional about this being the best day that it can be.”
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Featured image courtesy of CULTURECON
To understand how we can fully show up this season, we consulted Marjorie Lightford because of her versatile skill set, creative vision, and amazing ability to transform hair. “Trends have a unique way of connecting people and creating a historical timeline for popular culture. For that reason and so many more, trends are necessary,” says Marjorie, master stylist and Redken Certified colorist.
Her motto is “Look good. Feel good. Do well,” and she believes she has a responsibility as a hairstylist to cultivate the internal beauty of her clients into a beautiful outward display. Her upbeat and open-minded personality coupled with her dedication to her clients and her craft sets her apart from most and continues to make her a well-sought-after hairstylist.
The stylist told xoNecole, “Trends are not one size fits all. I recommend finding your own aesthetic and uniquely incorporating trends into your personal style. This provides you with a customized look suited just for you that is still current and trendy.”
Ahead, Marjorie provides the fall hair inspiration sure to bring you joy!
Protective Style Trends for Fall 2022
Courtesy of Marjorie Lightford
1. Knotless braids with tousled, loose hair incorporated throughout the braids.
"There is a beautiful merge happening between braids and loose hair that provides protection, low tension, and volume. Knotless braids became popular because, essentially, they "saved our edges." On the contrary, the style did not maintain its freshness for as long as traditional box braids, micro braids, etc. Additionally, knotless braids lacked volume.
"The introduction of weaving loose hairs throughout random braids has not only eliminated that problem but also created a new era. This new look ages beautifully has volume, creates lots of dimension, and is point blank...sexy."
2. Feed-in cornrows with unique designs.
"Cornrows have and will always be great protection for our hair. The goal is to do it in a way that does not provide tension around the edges. Feed-in cornrows are great for that. Cornrows with unique designs are definitely making a comeback."
3. Sew-ins.
"While there are all kinds of new, loose hair extension techniques when it comes to protection, sew-ins are the only option. Other techniques leave the natural hair exposed while sew-ins braid the natural hair and attach wefts using the sewing technique. The beautiful thing about sew-ins is that these can be worn significantly longer than other protective styles before the look has to be redone."
Tip: Use nylon thread with your sew-ins. Traditional wool thread can create breakage at the root.
Favorite Hair Products for Fall 2022
Courtesy of Marjorie Lightford
1. Shu Uemura Essence Absolue Overnight Hair Serum
"This is an anti-frizz, overnight serum for dry hair. Hair is typically the driest between midnight and 6 a.m.; as we move into the fall, the temperatures outside will begin to drop. Hair will naturally become even drier as we crank up the heat in our residences." Marjorie adds that "using an overnight hair serum will soften and nourish the hair from mid-length to end and improve manageability for advanced night care."
2. Kérastase Sérum Thérapiste Hair Serum
"I love this product. It is an absolute must-have for all my clients. This serum repairs hair fibers and is also a heat protectant for up to 450°F. I have my clients use this every morning and night. It's essentially a cuticle sealer and helps to retain the length of your hair."
3. The Felicia Leatherwood Detangling Brush
"This Black-owned brush is the brush that every curly head of hair needs, not just for the fall but year-round. Detangling hair with this brush is easier and more efficient. Its firm, yet flexible technology allows you to detangle from root to ends truly. It is nearly indestructible."
The Best Hair Colors for Black Women in Fall 2022
Courtesy of Marjorie Lightford
1. Diffused blondes
"The hair color industry has been shifting for several years. People are wanting to come into the salon less and have a more blended grow-out. Within the melanated community, I find that we are choosing colors that blend better with our natural hair color or are choosing colors that are multi-dimensional.
"I truly believe anybody can wear blonde and when diffused throughout as opposed to applied all over. It really softens the entire look and is less of a contrast. It photographs beautifully and looks great in person too."
2. Warm browns
"I love a golden brown moment on melanated skin. It's our version of 'nude'. Golden Brooks wore it well on Girlfriends years ago, and it has definitely made a comeback. I hope it's here to stay."
3. Mauve and rose gold
"These colors typically look great on melanated skin because they compliment the gold and olive often found in our undertones. And while they are a little high maintenance because they fade fast, if you cannot get a touch-up often, they do fade to a beautiful medium to dark blonde. Essentially, you get two looks for the price of one."
The Trending Haircuts to Try for Fall 2022
Courtesy of Marjorie Lightford
1. Bob
"Always try a bob. It's like adding high heels to the hair and can be dressed up or down."
2. Curtain bangs
"They're versatile; long enough to be side swept or pulled back but also add softness around the face. I love pairing curtain bangs with a top knot."
3. Mullet
Marjorie notes that the mullet is "definitely an acquired taste and not for every head shape," but adds, "if you are edgy, consider letting the hair grow out in the back to give your hair a unique shape."
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Featured image by Jena Ardell/Getty Images
