Love & Relationships

Personally, I blame Barbie. At least for starters.

I don't have any children of my own and thankfully, the parents of young daughters that I'm close to don't inundate their girls with dolls, so I can't comment too much on what Barbie looks like today (although Yara Shahidi's is pretty cute, I must admit). But back when I was a little girl, Barbie's dream outfit was a wedding dress, Ken was her constant companion and, if you looked really closely at her hand, there was a fake diamond in it. And since her hands were fused together, in order to take the ring off, you had to tug on it. Without the ring, there was a big hole in her hand that remained.

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Take a moment to think about who you consider your friends to be.

I'm not talking about who you're connected to on social media or the folks that you're cool with and speak to every once in a while. I'm referring to the individuals who you tell your deepest secrets to, the ones who will not only loan but will give you fifty bucks when times are tight. The people who will sit up on the phone with you through a break-up, have encouraged you every time you've taken a calculated risk and affirms you every chance they get. Who are those folks?

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Not too long ago, I watched a video featuring relationship coach Stephan Labossiere. The topic was "A Lot of Women Will Run from Being with a Great Man" (indeed!) and his initial point was this: "A lot of times when you see these relationships be dysfunctional and people say that love just didn't win? No, it's because love was never there…love isn't what was driving your relationship, so that's why it failed."

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The evening was growing late, so I walked him to the door. As I reached for the knob, he enveloped me in his arms and for a moment, no words were spoken, yet so much was said.

He held me securely as we stood there, in the dark foyer, with only the porch light reflecting on us. With my head pressed against his chest as he towered over me, in all his chocolate glory, I remember thinking how safe I have always felt in his presence. It was nice.

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They say you never know where you'll find true love.

You just have to be open and ready for it when it comes knocking on your door. I learned this after I found love in an Uber.

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Many moons ago, I took an intimacy class with a group of people. The premise of it was to learn how to cultivate emotional attachments in a healthy way. A married couple facilitated it and, for the most part, the only steadfast rules were 1) do the weekly homework that was assigned and 2) get an accountability partner within the group—only, make sure it's someone of the same sex rather than the opposite one.

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