You can wear your crystal around your neck, carry them in your bra, place them near you or underneath your pillow while you sleep, or hold them while you meditate – there are a plethora of ways to incorporate crystals into your day-to-day life and benefit from the energy they naturally emit. It's also worth noting that regularly cleansing your crystals, or clearing them, is necessary to amplify their properties.
Some ways you can go about cleansing your crystals include planting them back into the earth in your garden or a potted plant, fully submerging them in a body of water (ocean, lake, river), practicing visualization, and using palo santo or sage to smudge your crystal. If possible, make sure you do this after each use of them in order to restore the crystal's energy.
If you are looking to manifest more love in your life, below are the best crystals for attracting the love and romance that you seek.
Rose quartz.
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For attracting love through self-love: Rose quartz.
Rose quartz is a very popular crystal and is probably the one from our list that you are most familiar with. Rose quartz is a crystal of unconditional love used to balance and open the heart chakra. The deep sense of healing it brings helps in cultivating self-love, romantic love, and connection. Because it opens up your heart, rose quartz not only helps with attracting love, but it also deepens your relationships, including the one with self.
For attracting love through protection: Amethyst.
Amethyst is another well-known crystal that can attract and promote love into one's life, as well as provide protection to the overall emotional stability in a relationship between two people. Because of this, amethyst is also regarded as a protection stone for love. Although it has other properties and uses, amethyst is considered to be its most powerful when involved in matters of love and relationships.
For attracting love through healing: Rhodonite.
Speaking of healing, rhodonite is a great gem to use in order to attract love because of its heart-based energy. If you are experiencing relationship or emotional issues, the rhodonite crystal helps facilitate forgiveness, acceptance, and loving compassion that is needed in order to radiate and operate from a space of unconditional love. For this reason, rhodonite is a helpful tool for balancing heart and root chakras.
Moonstone.
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For attracting love through authenticity: Moonstone.
The moonstone is all about goddess energy and feminine energy. Symbolic of love, the moonstone is also known to evoke balance, harmony, and the ability to connect with our truest and most authentic selves. Even though tides change and emotions change, the new beginnings the moonstone represents also provide inner peace amid the sometimes chaotic nature of life.
For attracting love through connection: Pink kunzite.
Also called 'the Woman's Stone,' pink kunzite radiates peace and calms emotional turmoil. Because it is also deeply connected to the heart, pink kunzite is a healing stone that offers many emotional benefits. It amplifies softness, sensuality, self-care, and self-compassion. It also assists with our ability to connect more deeply to others by decreasing feelings of worry and fear. Of note, pink crystals are said to be associated with new love, femininity, and romance.
For attracting love through compassion: Malachite.
Malachite is a balancing stone that can be used to balance the heart and throat chakra. Its properties amplify feelings of security, stability, and safety. Because of its balancing properties, malachite can help with accepting all types of love and loving unconditionally.
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Should this be more of a romantic rendezvous with your boo thang (because romance occurs within friendships too), sex may or may not be off the table during the sticky days of the lasting summer heat. If so, there’s nothing like a cute, cinema-esque date with your person to add a little razzle-dazzle to this already magical time of year. Upping your chances of making this a whole evening of loving. Yes, if you’re lucky…you might just get lucky (er, luckier) with a little bit of intentional planning.
With that said, for a fun summer date night idea, check out one of these 10 ideas to upgrade you and your date nights throughout the season.
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1. Luxe Picnic
Luxury picnics have trended up over the past couple of years and thankfully so. For all my bougie girls, it’s a real Hilary Banks spin on an old-school concept. You can plan this concept out yourself, however, they have become mainstream. Meaning you can also hire someone to put this fabulous date night (or girls' day) together for you – allowing you to simply show up and enjoy the ambiance.
2. Drive-In Movie/Movie in the Park
A date at the drive-in is a summer classic! And honestly, I’m not sure if they're romantic or the perfect place to hook up – something in me says those old-school movies set in the 40s that showed a couple at a drive-in movie date were hinting at a little more than romance. Still, the bomb thing about this date idea is that it has to occur in the evening which means less sun but packs all the heat (winks) and hopefully a cool breeze.
Another romantic way to capitalize on this vibe is to do a movie date in the park. Many cities offer opportunities for Screen on the Green or cinema in the park during the summertime (Los Angeles has an outdoor cinema year-round called Cinespia that shows classic movies). Though it's not quite as intimate as a drive-in, the experience is a summer date idea worth mentioning.
3. Strawberry Picking
For this summer date idea, you can go strawberry picking or really any type of fruit picking that is local to you. Once you all finish picking the fruit, have a chilled bottle of wine with you to have with your fresh picks. If alcohol is not allowed in the facility, take this opportunity to do a rooftop car picnic or find a nearby lake, field, etc. to set up shop in. (Picture that scene from Jason’s Lyric).
4. Hot Air Balloon Ride
If you’re not afraid of heights, a hot air balloon ride is a mile-high club that seems well worth the experience. Depending on where you live, you may want to go out somewhere scenic to get a really picturesque view down of the city or the rural area below. Allow yourself to be captivated by the flush of golden light from the sunset on the horizon as you experience an adrenaline rush that takes an average date night to new heights. I think this is the perfect intimate outing where there’s less demand for dialogue.
5. Grape Stomping
Because grape stomping, or grape treading, isn’t necessary to make wine these days, consider this a novelty experience. You can sip on some wine while you and your partner stump all on grapes, which weirdly enough seems sticky but refreshing. Once you finish, you and your partner can wipe one another’s feet down and add in a little massage. Look to Airbnb Experiences for grape stomping opportunities that might be near you or someplace you hope to visit with your partner soon. Food & Wine Trails also has a list of the top five regions to visit for grape stomping that you can find here.
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6. Couples Cooking Classes
Beat the heat while making something yummy to eat. Cooking is such an intimate act and when you take the extra step of preparing something you've never cooked before in a class setting, you open up the floor to add some novelty to your date night as well. This also allows you to try something new for the first time together which is a great way to add to your connection. Couples cooking classes are pretty common so you might even be able to find a Groupon or Airbnb Experience for this. However, if you know a chef who you enjoy and can reach out to perfectly that would be even better!
7. Water Balloon Fight
For the goofy couple, who adores embracing their inner child, grab the Super Soakers and water balloons! Not only is this a fun and out-of-the-box way of bonding with your person or people, but it’s also the perfect way to keep cool on a hot summer day. A couple that plays together stays together.
8. Fair/Carnival/Amusement Park
Another activity inspired by throwback TV! Now that the world has opened back up, the go-to fair, carnival, or amusement park date during the summer is having a resurgence. I don’t think it gets more intimate than riding rides and allowing another to hear you scream horrifically at every drop and turn. But furthermore, it allows you all to talk to one another as you keep your feet on the ground and win one another huge teddy bears.
9. Tandem Bike Ride
It doesn’t get more Nicholas Sparks than this! Argue with someone else! Also known as courting bikes, the tandem bicycle is a great way to put a fun and romantic spin on bike riding. You can experience the trails and scenic views with your person slowly and closely, adding a layer of intimacy to bike riding you might not have initially thought of. Find your tandem bike, bring along some wine or champagne, and make a day of it while riding through your city. It's the perfect cycling date.
10. Bonfire
Kisses under the firelight? I can get behind it. Bonfires are also a great activity to do with others if you don’t want to ditch the crew. This is probably perfect for a cooler summer night or even on a beach by the water. Be sure to bring along the smores kit so you can truly make this the top-tier experience you intend it to be.
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It took me a while to realize that the biggest thing I was doing "wrong" was not recognizing the power I had in choosing the people I let into my life. Blaming myself for the people I was "attracting" was pointless because I had no power or control over who was attracted to me. None of us do.
Instead of asking ourselves, "Why do I keep attracting this type of person?" we should try asking, "Why do I continue to give energy to people who show signs of not being a good fit for me?"
To have healthier and more fulfilling relationships, we must be intentional about who we entertain and make space for in our lives. We have to own our decision to continue patterns with people because they provide us with a familiar discomfort we’ve become accustomed to settling for. While we aren't responsible for the way people treat us, we are responsible for understanding why we decide to stay.
So, how do we lay the foundation for choosing the right people?
1. Show up as yourself.
When we first meet someone, it's tempting to show up as our representative or be the person we think someone is looking for. To find people we're compatible with, we must be brave enough to be ourselves, even if that means not being liked or accepted. As long as we find the courage to radically love, value, and accept ourselves, we put ourselves in the position to meet people with whom we can sustain healthy and meaningful relationships.
2. Build a relationship with yourself.
Being disconnected from ourselves can make it hard to be connected with other people. Learning to love, honor, and respect ourselves helps us create a strong foundation for building healthy relationships with other people. When we feel safe with ourselves, we'll feel more confident when putting ourselves out there to get to know others. When we begin having conflicts, which is guaranteed to happen whenever people get to know each other, we'll be able to communicate our needs and boundaries to increase intimacy in the relationship. If the relationship doesn't work out, we're less likely to blame ourselves and more likely to trust that we can make more fulfilling connections in the future.
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3. Don't be afraid to look "needy."
Sometimes we're afraid to ask for what we need to feel safe or comfortable in a relationship because we fear looking "needy." When we present as "needless," we end up in a community with people that like being around us because we don't ask for anything. As a result, the relationships become one-sided as they grow more comfortable and content with not doing anything for us. As the relationship progresses, we attempt to let our needs be known and grow resentful as our requests go unnoticed. Being open about our needs helps us discover people we're compatible with in friendship and romance. Having needs is one of the things that makes us human, and some of these needs can only be filled when we're in relationships with other people. Remember, sometimes you're not asking for too much; you're simply asking the wrong person.
4. Let people unfold.
Sometimes we commit to people too quickly. We become captivated with the idea of someone, and when the truth of that person is revealed, we are disappointed, or worse, we're in denial. Natalie Lou, the author of the Baggage Reclaim Series, always reminds readers that "people unfold." Over the course of getting to know someone, we may discover signs that unveil incompatibility. If we're not careful, we'll overlook those signs and keep moving forward because we don't want to be wrong about someone.
We don't want to be alone again. We don't want to stop being friends with someone. But, in the end, we hurt our own feelings by choosing to deny the reality of our situation. We also draw out the ending of what would likely be an unfulfilling relationship. The more time we spend engaging with people we aren't compatible with, the less time we spend connecting with people we fit well with.
5. Choose people that choose you.
Stop chasing after people who are running away from you. Some of us learned that we were difficult to love, and we internalized that our relationships would be challenging and filled with uneasiness. When we receive mixed signals, crumbs of attention, or poor treatment, we're prepared to fight and perform to sustain the relationship and prove ourselves. Our nervous system gets triggered, and we mistake those feelings of uncertainty for attraction and love. But that's not love, and we are worthy and deserving of so much more.
We deserve mutuality. We deserve to be around people who want to be with us as much as we want to be with them. We shouldn't be in a state of constantly questioning if someone is as invested as we are, nor should we be performing for love. Choose people that choose you—no forcing, no begging.
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6. Become comfortable with impermanence.
Everyone you meet and build a relationship with won't stay in your life forever, and that's okay. Everyone isn't meant to stay. Sometimes we try to prevent people from leaving or refuse to walk away because we're uncomfortable with endings. More importantly, we're uncomfortable with what endings say about us. By trying to control whether or not people stay, we're attempting to control the uncontrollable. It's a losing game, and we end up hurting ourselves and others in the process. Longevity in a relationship is not an indicator of health or fulfillment, nor does it serve as a reflection of our worthiness.
7. Stop making excuses for people.
When we feel unlovable, we can have a strong desire to stop other people from feeling the same way. We'll try to accommodate, justify and tolerate unacceptable behavior in other people because we don't want to be mean or reject people. We aren't responsible for protecting other people from rejection or disappointment. If we're being honest, sometimes we struggle with the idea of rejecting someone because we don't want to deal with the pain of being rejected and assume others can't handle it either. When people hurt us, we lean into being too understanding instead of assessing the relationship and establishing boundaries. Don't fall into the trap of blaming yourself for someone else's behavior in hopes that if you take responsibility, you can evoke change. Part of being in healthy relationships and establishing respect is showing others you have the strength and courage to protect yourself.
Taking responsibility for our lives is scary, but it's where healing begins. While we can't be in control of everything, we can exercise our power to choose. Letting people into our lives isn't a passive activity. The relationships we choose to pour energy into play a significant role in our happiness and well-being. Give yourself the love, compassion, and foundation you need to choose wisely.
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