I dig science. A big part of the reason why is because I really enjoy researching the “whys” of things. While my father always liked that about me, my mother oftentimes had something slick to say about it (that’s another message for another time, chile). To me, it’s whatever. For better or for worse, I’m simply not someone who accepts that the sky is blue “just because” — put it on my daddy’s DNA, I guess; with no apologies in place, I almost always want to know why something is the way that it is.
And since I spend so much of my time working with couples and writing on relationships, I’m sure no one is shocked that I’ve done my due diligence when it comes to figuring out what is really going on in the minds of humans whenever they are hyped about being in love. While on the surface level, it might seem like I’m being cynical, I’m actually not. It’s more about…well, again, I’ve been working with couples and writing about relationships for so long at this point that I think it’s important for folks to know the difference between an “emotional surge” and a truly wise love decision — and being aware of the role that the brain plays when we think that we’re in love with someone? That can help to bring some perspective and clarity into all of this.
So, whether you’re in something new and you’re currently on cloud nine, you’ve been in something for a while now and you’re wondering if you’ve “lost that loving feeling” or if you’re borderline on the verge of self-sabotage or, you’re like me, and you simply like to know random information just because — I’ve got 10 things that might be of interest to you as far as what science says love can literally do to you on the mental tip.
It’s fascinating stuff, indeed.
1. Dopamine Gets Activated
It’s pretty interesting that dopamine is a type of neurotransmitter that plays a significant role in things like how you are able to experience pleasure or create memories because both of those are quite relevant when you’re in love with someone. Well, according to science, when you feel like you truly love an individual, dopamine gets activated on a whole ‘nother level to the point where you not only feel euphoric but, it’s at the level of what alcohol or a cocaine high can produce (have mercy!) I’m not exaggerating, either.
In fact, Medical News Today once published an article entitled, “Falling In Love Hits The Brain Like Cocaine Does.” Hmm…makes you wonder if some people run up outta there marriages, not because there’s really anything “wrong”; it’s just that they have crashed from their “cocaine high” and no one prepared them for how to handle it (get into premarital counseling, engaged folks; it makes all the difference in the world!). Also, as far as dopamine goes, when men are “falling” for a woman, it’s dopamine and vasopressin that increase, while, for women, it’s dopamine and oxytocin. During sex, vasopressin drops in men, while oxytocin increases when a woman climaxes. The more you know.2. Euphoria Increases
Let’s go a little bit deeper into the whole euphoria thing. At the end of the day, euphoria is about intensity. I mean, a part of the reason why the series Euphoria has been so popular (and jarring) is that it shows how drug abuse can put people into a euphoric state — at first in a pleasurable way and eventually on a devastating level. When it comes to love, some experts say that three stages transpire when you feel like you’re in a love-related euphoric state: arousal, attraction, and attachment. And you know what? If you aren’t intentional about doing what Ben Franklin once said (“If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”), you could find yourself being on a roller coaster of emotions without having a relationship that consists of much stability. Yeah, euphoria increasing can be problematic as hell if you don’t get all of what comes with that.
3. Oxytocin Surges
When it comes to the articles that I’ve written on love, sex, and relationships on this platform, I don’t know if there’s any hormone that I’ve shouted out more than oxytocin. That’s because there are countless amounts of intel supporting the fact that it bonds people through things like hand-holding, cuddling, kissing, and definitely sex. That’s why some experts say that oxytocin can cause people to become “single-minded” about a person, it can cultivate feelings of trust, and it can literally create physiological changes that cause you to seek out your love interest.
This is a part of the reason why, when people declare that they are “in love” after say, a one-night stand, my mind immediately thinks, “Eh. Sounds more like an oxytocin surge.” You don’t know them well enough to love them; you can “love” how they make you feel, though. It’s essential to know the difference.
4. Fear Decreases
Now, this is an interesting one. Something else that science says happens when people are in love is the neural pathway that is associated with things like fear and judgment. It actually deactivates itself (chile…CHILE). Yep, some studies reveal that the part of your brain that encourages you to make “critical assessments” of individuals. When you feel like you love them, that shuts down. As a direct result, in walks the rose-colored glasses, and out goes the red flags. And that’s why, when I recently read that a particular actor didn’t heed some warnings from her friends regarding her new relationship, I literally shook my damn head.
When you’re all in love, especially in the beginning stages, having folks around who don’t feel the same ways about the person as you do can actually help you out in the long run, so long as they are good friends with a solid track record, they are going to notice some things that your neural pathway is keeping you from paying close attention to. Yeah, y’all be careful out there.
5. Your Prefrontal Cortex Slows Down
Speaking of desensitized senses, something else that transpires when you’re caught up in someone is your prefrontal cortex becomes sluggish. Why is this problematic? Well, that’s where the logical part of your brain is housed. This means that when you love someone, you may not be the best at making sound and practical decisions. Although I don’t agree with an article that said this means that love is illogical (love is sound, sane, and stable; it’s folks who jack relationships up…not love), I do think all of this is a reminder that you must rely on more than just how someone makes you feel when you’re trying to decide who to build a life with. Moving on.
6. Your Hypothalamus Revs Up Your Sex Hormones
I don’t know about y’all, but I don’t know too many people who aren’t attracted to the object of their love and affection. And so, when you do fall in love, something else that happens is the part of your brain known as the hypothalamus stimulates your ovaries while it also stimulates your man’s testicles — and that is what makes you feel an overwhelming feeling of desire (i.e., lust) for your partner.
7. Your Brain’s “Reward Circuit” Lights All the Way Up
Speaking of longing for your partner, three parts of your brain — the amygdala, the hippocampus, and the prefrontal cortex — are known as its “reward circuit,” and whenever you even speak about your bae, this is the part of your brain that lights up like a Christmas tree. Something that’s really interesting about this particular point is, that while this is happening, your serotonin levels typically drop.
Why does this matter? Well, serotonin helps to keep your anxiety levels in balance, and it also helps you to regulate your appetite(s). This would automatically cause me to believe that people who struggle with love addiction probably have a low level of serotonin operating in their system.
Oh, speaking of serotonin, although you may never think to get your hormone levels checked strictly to learn more about how you’re acting/reacting in your romantic relationship, I also found it interesting that people who have more dopamine in their system tend to take more risks when it comes to love while those who have more serotonin are usually far more cautious. Meaning, that how you are in your relationship(s) may not be just about your personality; your hormone levels tend to have a say as well.
8. Your Anterior Cingulate Cortex May Make You Obsessive
Your anterior cingulate cortex is the part of your brain that’s associated with things like motivation and action. Anyway, since overactivity in this part of the brain is oftentimes linked to things like obsessive-compulsive disorder, some researchers believe that the reason why some people seem to think obsessively about their partner, almost to the point of obsession, if they don’t stay on top of it, is because of how their brain reacts to their attachment to their partner. For the record, this is also the part of your brain that literally lights up whenever you see your partner, too.
9. Vagus Nerves “Sync Up”
Your vagus nerves are a part of your nervous system that starts at your brain and runs through your digestive tract. This makes them an integral part of things like your immunity, your speech, your moods, and your heart rate. As far as your brain goes, some studies reveal that after a couple has been together for a longer period of time, it’s not uncommon for their vagus nerves to “sync up” in the sense of having similar facial expressions and hand gestures being and even their hearts starting to beat at the same pace. As a direct result, the syncing makes it easier for both individuals to make sacrifices for one another in order to remain together. Share that with your grandparents the next time you see them. #wink
10. If You’ve Been Together for a While, Your Angular Gyrus Becomes Stronger
Speaking of longevity, another perk that comes with couples who choose to go the distance is the part of their brain known as their angular gyrus becomes more active. What’s actually sweet about this is that not only is this what makes it easier for you to learn complex languages, but you can also start to anticipate your partner’s actions with it too. As a direct result, science says that many couples can finish each other’s sentences — and it’s all because their angular gyrus has gotten stronger as a result of them staying committed.
____
After reading all of this, how could anyone possibly look at being in love casually? There are far too many intricate parts at work — yes, literally. Yeah, when Rihanna sang about having “love on the brain,” she said more than a mouthful…whether she realized it or not.
And if you declare that you are in love, make sure to factor in what your brain is going through. Then choose wisely. Even your brain and mental health depend on it. Also…literally.
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
This year's It Girl 100 is a mosaic of brilliance, spotlighting entrepreneurs, cultural disruptors, beauty visionaries, and boundary-pushing creatives who embody the spirit of "Yes, And." This digital celebration honors the women who embrace every facet of themselves, proving you can chase the bag and still honor your desire to live life softly.
The women repping for the Business category are empire builders shaping the next generation of entrepreneurship, as founders, investors, and CEOs, shifting culture while expanding their brands and their net worth.
Here's the roll call for xoNecole's It Girl 100 Class of 2025: Business.
Artist and Founder of GROWN Media Kaya Nova
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Kaya Nova
Her Handle: @thekayanova
Her Title: Artist and Founder, GROWN Media
Who's That It Girl: Kaya Nova is the artist-entrepreneur whose voice bridges melody and empowerment as the founder of GROWN Mag and GROWN Media. We celebrate her for turning her artistry into activism, creating music and experiences that honor womanhood, vulnerability, and the beauty of becoming your full self.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm multitalented and I'm powerful beyond measure."
Founder and CEO of Vineyard Icon Erin Goldson
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Erin Goldson
Her Handle: @eringoldson
Her Title: Founder and CEO of Vineyard Icon
Who's That It Girl: We are inspired by Erin Goldson, brand marketer and founder of Vineyard Icon, a platform celebrating Martha’s Vineyard culture and creativity. She blends strategy and community building with effortless polish to turn ideas into impact.
Founder and CEO, My Happy Flo Necole Kane
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Necole Kane
Her Handle: @hellonecole
Her Title: Founder and CEO, My Happy Flo
Who's That It Girl: Necole Kane is a media mogul and entrepreneur who founded NecoleBitchie.com and xoNecole.com. She now leads feminine wellness brand My Happy Flo, advocating for women's hormonal health through plant-based supplements and holistic solutions.
FORVR MOOD Co-Founder and Content Creator Jackie Aina
Credit: Kirstin Enlow
Jackie Aina
Her Handle: @jackieaina
Her Title: FORVR MOOD Co-Founder and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: A trailblazer who changed the face of beauty forever, Jackie Asamoah built a legacy on authenticity and advocacy. We love her for redefining luxury through inclusion and for reminding women everywhere that self-care is a radical, joyful act.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm owning my power and finding balance in it."
Founder and Investor Shannae Ingleton Smith
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Shannae Ingleton Smith
Her Handle: @torontoshay
Her Title: Founder and Investor
Who's That It Girl: Shannae Ingleton Smith is President and Co-founder of Kensington Grey, an influencer agency representing 200+ creators. A former media sales executive, she now invests in creator-led startups, including 12PM Studios.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m breaking ceilings and expanding the table."
Founder of LORVAE De'arra Taylor
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De'arra Taylor
Her Handle: @dearra
Her Title: Founder of Fashion Brand LORVAE
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate De'arra Taylor as the founder and CEO of LORVAE, an eyewear brand built on reinvention, confidence, and bold individuality. Her creative direction turns sunglasses into statements and community into a lifestyle.
Founder of The Lip Bar Melissa Butler
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Melissa Butler
Her Handle: @melissarbutler
Her Title: Founder of The Lip Bar
Who's That It Girl: Melissa Butler transformed The Lip Bar from a kitchen concept into a multimillion-dollar movement. We honor her for challenging industry norms and proving that boldness, beauty, and business brilliance can coexist unapologetically.
Director of Cultural Strategy & Innovation Denetrias Charlemagne
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Denetrias “Dee” Charlemagne
Her Handle: @dcharlemagne
Her Title: Director of Cultural Strategy & Innovation, Walmart
Who's That It Girl: A powerhouse behind purpose-driven partnerships, Denetrias Charlemagne bridges culture and commerce at Walmart with grace and innovation. We honor her for amplifying representation in retail and using her platform to build spaces where authenticity and excellence thrive.
Chief Brand Officer at Unrivaled Kirby Porter
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Kirby Porter
Her Handle: @kirbyporter
Her Title: Chief Brand Officer, Unrivaled
Who's That It Girl: Strategic, visionary, and driven by impact, Kirby Porter is building the future of athlete branding. We’re inspired by her as the founder of New Game Labs and Chief Brand Officer at Unrivaled, showing that strategy can be soulful and sport can be storytelling.
Founder and CEO of EveryStylishGirl Nana Agyemang
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Nana Agyemang
Her Handle: @itsreallynana
Her Title: Founder and CEO of EveryStylishGirl
Who's That It Girl: A journalist turned founder, Nana Agyemang built EveryStylishGirl to amplify Black women in media. We love her for opening doors, building pipelines of opportunity, and using her voice to change the face of modern storytelling.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm a boss and I'm still soft."
Vice President of Content at ESSENCE Nandi Howard
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Nandi Howard
Her Handle: @itsnandibby
Her Title: Vice President of Content, ESSENCE
Who's That It Girl: We are inspired by Nandi Howard, Vice President of Content and Editorial at ESSENCE. Her leadership elevates Black culture with clarity and celebration and shapes the stories and standards that move audiences.
Founder of Sisters In Media Oladotun Idowu
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Oladotun Idowu
Her Handle: @ola_idowu
Her Title: Founder of Sisters In Media
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate Oladotun Idowu, entertainment marketing leader at Campari Group and founder of Sisters in Media, for bridging brands and culture while championing women of color across media. Strategy and purpose guide her work.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes I'm walking into rooms with boldness and grace knowing that God has way more in stored for me."
Founder of Fortune & Forks Krystal Vega
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Krystal Vega
Her Handle: @krystalvega
Her Title: Founder of Fortune & Forks, Multimedia
Who's That It Girl: Krystal Vega’s work lives at the intersection of innovation and influence. We celebrate her as a next-gen entrepreneur shaping digital spaces where women of color lead confidently, create fearlessly, and build legacies beyond the screen.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm that girl and so are you."
Founder of Fortune & Forks Naomi Wright
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Naomi Wright
Her Handle: @naomiwrighttt
Who's That It Girl: Naomi Wright leads with style, purpose, and power. We’re inspired by her for building platforms like Fortune & Forks that merge beauty, business, and bold self-expression, proving that influence can be both impactful and intentional.
Entrepreneur and Podcast Host Emma Grede
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Emma Grede
Her Handle: @emmagrede
Her Title: Entrepreneur and Podcast Host
Who's That It Girl: Emma Grede is CEO and co-founder of Good American, and founding partner of SKIMS. She's a podcast host and the first Black female investor on ABC's Shark Tank.
CEO and Founder of TFNA Entertainment & Sports Management Kia Brooks
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Kia Brooks
Her Handle: @kiajbrooks
Her Title: CEO and Founder of TFNA Entertainment & Sports Management
Who's That It Girl: Entrepreneur and mother, Kia J. Brooks leads TFNA Talent Agency, representing top athletes and creatives. She’s known for breaking barriers, negotiating record NIL deals, and empowering others to build generational wealth.
Sports & Entertainment Brand Manager Des Dickerson
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Des Dickerson
Her Handle: @itsurdestinee
Her Title: Sports & Entertainment Brand Manager and Media Strategist
Who's That It Girl: Des Dickerson is a sports and entertainment brand manager and media strategist who works with top athletes and entertainers to elevate their platforms. She is recognized for creating innovative partnerships and driving visibility in sports and entertainment.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I build opportunities for athletes and entertainers and I transform them into lasting influence."
President of Collective Edge Management Shayla Cowan
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Shayla Cowan
Her Handle: @shayla_pc
Her Title: President, Collective Edge Management
Who's That It Girl: Shayla Cowan is an award-winning producer and President of Collective Edge. She's produced blockbuster films including Girls Trip and Beast, championing boundary-pushing storytellers and innovative artistry in entertainment.
Co-Founder & CEO of Fearless Fund
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Arian Simone
Her Handle: @ariansimone
Her Title: Co-Founder & CEO, Fearless Fund
Who's That It Girl: Arian Simone champions women of color in venture capital. She advocates for economic justice, investing globally in women entrepreneurs and addressing funding disparities rooted in racism and sexism through resilient, purpose-driven leadership.
Founder of Global State of Women and Seed, Valeisha Butterfield
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Valeisha Butterfield
Her Handle: @valeisha
Her Title: Founder of Global State of Women and Seed
Who's That It Girl: Valeisha Butterfield Jones is a globally recognized leader in tech, entertainment, and politics. This year, she created the Global State of Women platform, providing emergency grants to women facing high unemployment rates.
Founder and Content Creator Ava PearlCourtesyAva Pearl
Her Handle: @avapearl
Her Title: Founder and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Ava Pearl is the founder of Curly Culture and Curly Con LA, initiatives that champion natural hair and foster community within the beauty industry. As a beauty and lifestyle content creator, she is dedicated to creating impactful content that inspires authenticity, confidence, and self-expression.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m rooted in authenticity and rising with purpose."
Now that you've met the ladies about their business, see who else made our list. Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by xoStaff