

If there are two things that a lot of us don't respect enough, it's the power of our words and the power of our choices. When it comes to the second thing, I once read that we make over 220 decisions, every day, just on food alone. Shoot, some sources say that we make as many as 35,000 conscious decisions on a daily basis too. And while choosing between chocolate and vanilla ice cream or whether to watch something on Netflix or Hulu may not be all that big of a deal, there are instances when we need to make a big decision — when it's time to make up our mind for the purpose of cultivating a long-term resolve that will impact our life in a pretty significant way.
If that's the kind of head space that you're currently in, before you make a final call, take a moment to at least give this a once over. Decisions can alter outcomes. That's why it's extremely important to do all that you can to make the wisest ones.
De-Stress
Something that I think is kinda crazy is we're oftentimes wired to make a major decision when we're either stressed out or overly emotional. Usually, it's because we feel a little out of control and so we think making some sort of choice will give us our control back when, more times than not, all it does is create (more) chaos…which leads to making even more decisions in order to fix our "triggered mess". That's why it's so important to de-stress before doing anything.
Here's the thing about this particular point, though. Some of us internalize stress so much that we don't even know when we're at our wit's end. If you're not sleeping soundly; if your moods are all over the place; if you're constantly overthinking; if your energy levels are low; if you struggle with being productive; if your immune system is weak; if your libido is shot; if you're easily triggered; if you grind your teeth a lot and/or you experience headaches (or body aches) often, this means that you need to be intentional about calming yourself down.
And just how do you do that? Get on a sleep schedule. Lay off of sugar and caffeine. Do some journaling. Exercise. Make a daily to-do list (that only has 5-7 things on it). Eat more fresh fruits and veggies. Have more sex. Deactivate your (main) triggers. Drink some herbal tea and give your feet a lavender oil massage. And finally, purpose in your mind to not do ANYTHING until you've done at least three of these things and gotten at least three consecutive nights of six hours of sleep or more. It will make you more confident about your choices if you do.
DON’T Follow Your Heart
Some of y'all are gonna be caught off guard with this point; however, those who read my content on this site fairly regularly know that they have heard this tip before. Listen, I don't know who came up with the "follow your heart" mantra but it irritates the mess outta me, every time I hear it. For one thing, the Good Book advises the total opposite because Jeremiah 17:9-19(NKJV) says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings."
First, the Bible says that the heart is deceitful and wicked. Then it says that God tests the mind. I totally get why the Word sees things this way too because a definition of the heart is "the center of emotions" and if you make it your motto to follow your emotions? You are in for a very roller coaster kind of life. No thank you.
When you need to make a major decision, it is absolutely wiser of you to focus on your mind — the part of you that reasons, looks at things logically and applies some level of discernment. Many people have done some of the most reckless and selfish things while "following their heart". You significantly reduce this risk of becoming this kind of statistic by thinking things through instead.
Get an “Inside Out” Perspective
A wise person once said, "People who look through keyholes are apt to get the idea that most things are keyhole-shaped." I really like that quote because it basically means that if you only look at things from your perspective, it could really limit you and your outcomes. This is why it's so important, engaged folks, to get into premarital counseling before jumping the broom because a reputable therapist/counselor/coach can pick up on some potential red flags or issues that you being "all in love" may miss.
Anyway, while I don't think it's important or necessary to get a billion people to cosign on something that you are considering doing (or not doing), I do recommend running it by 2-3 people who you absolutely trust. 2-3 people whose own lives have some sense of order and productivity. 2-3 people who have a proven track record of wanting the absolute best for you. Present to them what's going on and what you're considering doing about it. Then ask them for their honest opinion. Remember that it is indeed an opinion (and that you are grown, so you can still ultimately do what you want) yet try and take it all in as objectively as you can. I have spared myself a lot of potential ridiculousness by giving certain friends the floor. Something that "outside in" perspectives can do is help to paint a much bigger picture.
Pray/Meditate
There's a Scripture in the Bible that says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7 — NKJV) The interesting thing about the word "anxious" is it doesn't just mean "mental distress"; it also means "eager". Just like it can be counterproductive to make major decisions when you're mentally distressed, it can be crazy to make choices while you're overly eager as well. And so, those verses in the Bible remind us that prayer can help us to move past anxiousness and into a space of greater understanding; especially on a spiritual level.
And what if you're not a holy book kind of person (because the Torah and Quran are also big on prayer)? Meditation is a good move too. It helps to control anxiety. It helps you to focus. It can make you more self-aware. It can help to make you less selfish and more empathetic. It can also make it easier for you to sleep, so that your brain is clearer. There are plenty of studies out in cyberspace that support the benefits of prayer and/or meditation. Certainly enough for you to definitely apply these steps before deciding to do anything serious.
Assess the Pros and Cons
As more and more people are realizing that homeownership is basically renting from a bank while renters are renting from a landlord, they are starting to see that the so-called American Dream needs more thinking things through. This is where a pros and cons list can come in really handy. For instance, some pros of owning a house are you can build equity and treat the house as you please. Some cons include being responsible for property tax and repairs and the fact that you could end up paying more in interest than the house is actually worth overall. Or say that you're thinking about starting your own company. Some pros include living out your own dream and being your own boss. Some cons include probably working more hours, generating unpredictable income (at least for a season) and having the burden of every choice fall totally on you.
While there is nothing new about writing a pros and cons list, it's kind of amazing, just how many people don't do it. It really is a great life hack, though, because if you're serious about making one, it requires a lot of pondering, seeing things from all angles and even doing some research (which is why you should have no less than 10 things on each side; that way, you up your chances of really thinking things through). A pros and cons list taps into your practical side and when it comes to making a life-altering decision, that is always a good thing.
Look a Year Ahead
My mother used to say, "God doesn't give us someone for where we are but where we're going and no one can know that but him." That was her way of encouraging people to factor God into their long-term partner choices. Along these same lines, when you are about to make a major decision, you need to try and look into at least the short-term future as much as you possibly can. While it is a little absurd to think that you can predict all of what will happen up the pike, the reason why this is an important step is because, far too often, we tend to make decisions based on nothing more than the here and now without even factoring in the weeks and months ahead.
Say that you're contemplating moving to another city for the first time. If you're very close to your family and you've got a close relative who is old or ill, can you be good with your schedule or finances not being able to let you return if they need you over the next several months? Say that you're considering going back to school. Can you handle the demands of work and your class load? Say that you are thinking about starting a business. Are you confident enough in our country to think that you can financially survive more topsy-turviness that may be up ahead? Say that you're considering getting pregnant yet your partner is up for a promotion. Have you thought about what a new baby and his work demands might look like? I could go on and on with various scenarios yet I think you get the gist. When making big decisions, something that you've also got to take into account is timing — future seasons included. Please make sure that you do.
Let Peace Be Your Guide
You can read articles that I've written on this platform like "Here's How To Know You're At Total Peace With Yourself" and "An Extremely Underestimated Sign That You're With The Right Person" to know just how BIG of a fan that I am of peace. To be at peace is to be content. To be at peace is to have composure. To be at peace is to be calm. To be at peace is OK with being still. To be at an uber level of peace is to be in a state of one of my favorite words of all time — bliss. And when you're in bliss, you're experiencing blessedness and real joy.
Just like a lot of us can mistake drama for passion or lust for love, it can be really easy to think that instant gratification or only appeasing what you desire (at the expense of what's best for you) is going to bring you peace. However, if the choice that you're about to make doesn't bring along with it a feeling of real calm in your mind, body and soul, simultaneously so, at the very least, pump your brakes for a bit. Peace sends us the message that we're making a decision that isn't just good; it's right. And when something (or someone) is right, it is "in conformity with fact, reason, truth, or some standard or principle; correct" and that's always what's best. And when we're doing what is truly best for us, that's when we can feel good about our choices. No matter how impacting the decision may be.
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- 4 Simple Rules For How to Make a Big Decision | Tony Robbins ›
- Advice for making major decisions during the pandemic - The Lily ›
- How To Make Your Big Life Decisions | May Busch ›
- Talks to watch when you have a big decision to make | TED Talks ›
- How to Mindfully Make Important Life Decisions | Psychology Today ›
- 10 Ways To Make Big Decisions You'll Never Regret ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Lizzo Talks Confidence: 'I Love The Person I've Become Through It All & I Think That's The Real Prize'
Lizzo is reflecting on her healing journey while giving the girls advice about confidence. The "Truth Hurts" singer has faced unfair criticism throughout her career for being a plus-size woman who embraces her curves. However, she recently went through a body transformation, which she calls a "weight release," and was criticized yet again.
But through it all, we've seen her hold her head high and continue to collect checks and awards. Lizzo stopped by The Breakfast Club recently and opened up about self-love, confidence, and healing.
When co-host Charlamagne Tha God asked Lizzo the difference between confidence and healing, The "Still Bad" artist replied, "I think people can fake confidence, but you can't fake healing. You can't be fake healed."
Lizzo explained how faking confidence can actually help you in the long run. "There's a lot of people who walk around and they can pretend to be confident and actually, I think that's what confidence's intention is, is to be used a little artificially. The fake it to you make," she said.
"Then, eventually you get there because my confidence, I had to force it. I had to fake it for a long time because I didn't grow up in a world where they were like, 'you're beautiful' and 'your body is beautiful' and 'we like you,' 'we like your personality.' 'Yeah, you watch anime and listen to rock music, we accept you.'
I was very like 'other' and I think I had to be like, 'no, you are good enough,' 'you are worthy of love,' 'your body is beautiful,' even when I didn't believe it. I think that eventually, if you say something enough, it can come true. You can manifest it, you can create your reality and I think I got there by faking it."
When it comes to dealing with negativity, Lizzo is learning to let the not so nice comments roll off her back and give grace. "People are as kind to others as they are to themselves and if somebody is throwing hatred or saying something mean-spirited about somebody, just for the sake of doing it, I can't imagine how you talk to yourself," she said. I can't imagine how you think about yourself and treat yourself when no one's watching and for that, Ive already won."
She added, "I love the person I've become through it all and I think that's the real prize. That's the real reward."
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