I Took A Three-Week Solo Trip To Portugal & Learned The Art Of Slow Traveling
As I write this, I'm sitting by the pool at the Octant Douro, a swanky hotel reminiscent of the Kanye West minimalist aesthetic. I promise I'm not saying this as a flex. I'm sharing this because I want this for you, too. Hello. #BlackGirlLuxury. This week marks the second of my three-week solo trip to Portugal.
If you're wondering: "Why Portugal?" You're not alone. Most people in my world have asked the same question. After my first trip here earlier this year, I fell in love. I only visited Lisbon then, but that was enough for me to feel affection for the country.
As my birthday approached, I wanted to plan another trip, and oddly, the prices for hotels and flights in the states were double and triple the price of even the best accommodations in Portugal. So, I booked a Premium Select ticket with Delta (which was also very reasonable) and started to plan. But on this trip, I wanted to do things differently. Not only did I want to explore additional cities, I wanted to try my hand at slow travel.
So instead of taking flights from city to city, I am traveling by train and car.
So, What is Slow Travel?
Like many things, the definition of slow travel is different for everyone. For me, slow travel means swapping out planes to travel by train, car, or any other means that requires me to slow down and has less impact on the environment.
How Am I Traveling?
My first stop was in Lisbon, where I stayed for a day before I started my journey to the north of Portugal. Before I landed, I weighed the cost of a car ride versus a train ride to Porto, which is just about a three-hour ride. The car service cost was nearly four times the cost of the train. So, I opted to take the high-speed tilting train: the Alfa Pendular. The train can travel up to 220 km/h (140 mph). I paid 51 euros for the three-hour journey.
A flight would have been just under an hour, but the environmental impact of that quick trip was at the top of my mind. Train travel is proven to emit much less carbon dioxide (CO2) than air travel. And with global warming, everything we do counts. Additionally, on my three-hour train ride, I realized there is so much you miss when flying over the cities. The scenery was gorgeous, and the ride was relaxing even when we were tilting. There was even a cafe car that offered sandwiches, coffee, and snacks.
After exploring Porto for four days, I visited wine country in the Douro Valley. I booked a car service for that trip which was just under 200 euros for the two-hour journey. What I didn't account for was the twisty, cliff-bending ride. It was beautiful but terrifying. But, like most places in Europe, the train is available, which I learned from a couple at Quinta Nova—a hotel nestled right in the middle of a UNESCO heritage site (an area legally protected by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization) and a vineyard—once I arrived.
Because I was too chicken to endure the cliffs when time to leave the mountainous terrain, I took the train from Ferrero to Penafiel, which only cost me 8 euros versus the 200 I'd spent on my trip there. Did the trip take double the time? Yep. But the ride was much less stressful and cheaper, and I got to travel like the locals. There was a little hiccup when I got to my stop. There were no Ubers. But luckily, there was a table of white-haired guys playing cards that happened to be taxi drivers.
This week, I'll take a six-hour train ride south to Algarve from Porto (a 30-minute car ride from where I am now), and then I'll take a car ride to Seville, Spain. It's a lengthy journey, but I'm still very excited about the experience.
If you're interested in traveling at a slower pace, there are a few things to keep in mind.
1. Give Up Scheduling Every Moment of Your Trip
I did tons of research before my trip, which set me up for success. But at the same time, things happen. For example, I missed my stop on the train and got lost. I also booked an Airbnb Experience way too far from my hotel, so I missed it. And it wasn't a cheap booking. So, unfortunately, money was wasted because I planned a little too far in advance without a full view of where things were. Sometimes you can only learn that as you travel.
2. Stay Present
Some travelers say to travel slowly, you must give up your technology. Well, that doesn't work for me because I'm still working even though I'm in Europe. But, I'm filming moments that I want to be able to reflect on, even though I'm not posting them. So, instead, I'm grabbing a little video and putting my phone down for the rest of the day.
3. Book Experiences that Support Local Makers and Artists
People always ask me how to get photos I love and plan tours as a solo traveler. Airbnb Experiences are my jam. I've used them since I planned my first solo trip to Cuba. Not only do you get a chance to make memories and learn new things, but you're supporting the local economy, which for me, is a big win.
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Bianca Lambert is a proud Atlanta native soaking up the Los Angeles sun. She is the founder of Mae B: a stationery company for women of color and a digital content creator on a mission to elevate the voices of women of color everywhere.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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