There's a great debate on social media platforms, from TikTok to Instagram, among travel credit card holders: What travel credit card is actually worth the annual fee? Asking yourself this lofty question with your fancy card in hand might feel counterproductive. However, it's always good to reevaluate any financial investment early and often to ensure you're getting the most out of it.
Credit cards are already a minefield because, without financial planning, you can end up in a boatload of debt. Been there, done that, and got the wasted money on interest to show for it. After paying off $15,000 in debt, I was reluctant to use any more credit cards. But after tons of research, I saw the value of the American Express Gold Card. I got points on my everyday spending and was diligent about paying off my monthly balance. But for me, as an avid traveler, it was time for either an upgrade or a new card with lots of research, of course.
Spoiler alert: I upgraded to the American Express Platinum Card, but I wanted to break down some of the benefits of all of the most talked about cards so that you can both use every benefit you’re paying for if you already have these cards in your wallet or get to know some of the perks if you’re in the market for a travel credit card so you can invest in a card that’s best for your everyday and travel needs.
Tim Robberts/Getty Images
American Express Platinum Card Benefits and Perks
Because I was already an Amex customer, I started here. The introductory offer—100,000 points after spending $6,000—for upgrading to an American Express Platinum Card was difficult to pass up. But I needed to see how the benefits stacked up if I was giving up 4X points on groceries and dining and opting for a lofty $695 annual fee. So how does the Platinum card stack up on earning points? Platinum cardholders get a point for every dollar spent, 5X the points on flights, and 5X on prepaid hotels booked through the Amex travel portal.
1. Lounges
Before gaining status with Delta, I always felt some FOMO passing the Sky Clubs. However, with the Platinum card, you can get through the velvet rope into Centurion lounges. You can also access Priority Pass lounges and Delta Sky Clubs with a same-day Delta ticket. One of the biggest gripes I've seen in online forums is how packed Priority Pass lounges can be as they serve many other luxury credit card holders, and during peak travel season, this could feel less like a perk.
2. Hotels Perks
Accommodations are the second most crucial part of planning a trip. Before booking through a third-party site or directly through the hotel, the Amex portal offers the ability to earn 5X the points when prepaying for accommodations. But there are more benefits aside from points. First, there's the complimentary Gold status with Hilton Honors and Marriott Bonvoy.
Next up, the credit card company provides The Fine Hotels + Resorts and The Hotel Collection. The Fine Hotels + Resorts benefits are as luxe as the five-star accommodations that are a part of this collection. When booking, your perks are: daily breakfast for two, free Wi-Fi, guaranteed 4 p.m. checkout, a $100 hotel credit, and noon check-in and room upgrade when available.
For The Hotel Collection, the hotels are among some of the best in the city, and cardholders receive a $100 hotel credit and a room upgrade when available. Additionally, another hotel benefit instantly helps offset the $695 credit card fee: $200 back in statement credits each year when you book a prepaid Fine Hotels + Resorts or The Hotel Collection reservation. I used this credit at the Conrad Hotel Midtown in New York City. It was so worth it.
3. Transportation Perks
We've covered lounges, so what about transportation benefits? Well, they're quite a few. Firstly, this card gives you a $200 airline fee credit per calendar year. So this covers everything from baggage fees to seat upgrades. Just be sure you go into the portal to select your airline.
Don't want to spend an overabundance of time in TSA or have to take off your shoes? The Platinum card credits back on your credit card for Clear ($189), TSA-Precheck ($85), and Global Entry ($100). In addition to taking care of the cost of breezing through TSA, if your flight is delayed six hours due to an airplane mechanical issue, the loss of your passport, or inclement weather, the card offers delay insurance reimbursing expenses like hotels and meals up to $500. After my flight from Paris to Atlanta was canceled due to mechanical issues (while I was on it), this came in handy and was very easy to use with a call to American Express customer service.
Additional transportation benefits:
- If your bag goes MIA, the card baggage insurance plan protects against damage or loss of up to $3,000 as long as you've paid the total cost of your trip with your card.
- Uber Benefit: $200 in Uber cash ($15 a month with $35 in December).
- Car Rental Loss and Damage Insurance (be sure to pay for the rental with your card and decline the collision damage waiver).
Some of the other American Express Platinum Card benefits:
- Up to $300 in annual Equinox credit.
- SAKS Benefit: Earn up to a $100 Saks Fifth Avenue credit, split into two $50 statement credits between January and June, then July through December.
- No Foreign Transaction Fees.
- Free shipping with ShopRunner (offers two-day shipping with select online retailers).
- Up to $240 in digital entertainment credit.
The Best Way to Redeem American Express Membership Rewards Points
Amex rewards points can be used on everything from gift cards to Amazon purchases and on, of course, travel. Each point is worth one cent, so let's say you book a flight through the portal for $150. You'd need 15,000 points to pay for that fare. Not worth the trade-off, right? So if this is your card (or your future card), you'll want to research before you turn over those points. Typically, you can get more bang for your points when transferring them to one of Amex's airline partners. But again, you'll want to see what airline makes the conversion worth it.
Westend61/Getty Images
Chase Sapphire Reserve Benefits and Perks
The Chase Sapphire Reserve card is another beloved option at the center of the luxury travel credit card debate. This one is a contender with an annual fee of $550. When it comes to earning points, you earn 5X points on flights. 10X points on hotels and car rentals when you purchase through Chase Ultimate Rewards. 3X points on travel and dining worldwide and 1X on all other purchases. So Chase's points-earning system does have some leverage on alternative cards. However, before earning 3X points on travel and dining, you must first use the $300 annual travel credit offered for flights and hotel stays.
1. Lounges
The Chase Sapphire Reserve card offers access to the Priority Pass lounges. But there's been a new development. Chase is introducing Chase Sapphire Lounge by The Club, which started last year. There isn't much info on these clubs yet, but the first Chase Sapphire Lounge by The Club—an 11,948-square-foot space—opened in Hong Kong in October 2022. So, this is certainly something to look forward to if you're a Chase member.
2. Hotel Perks
This card offers a Luxury Hotel & Resort Collection with select properties offering daily breakfast for two, a $100 benefit (unique to each property), free Wi-Fi, and a room upgrade and early check-in and late checkout when available.
Additionally, there are Elite Hotel Benefits at Relais & Châteaux and Elite Hotel Benefits at Ennismore. These properties are in specific places throughout the world. For example, Relais & Châteaux properties are mostly located in Europe. In comparison, Ennismore properties are located in major hubs like Beverly Hills, London, New York, Rome, and Paris. However, if you end up in a city with Ennismore options, the Elite Hotel Benefits offers some solid perks like a complimentary fourth night, late checkout, food and beverage credits, and room upgrades.
3. Transportation Perks
Regarding transportation benefits, the Chase Sapphire Reserve offers a $100 credit toward Global Entry/TSA PreCheck fee every four years. And financial assistance for bag delays on any mode of transportation— airline, bus, cruise ship, or train—for more than 6 hours at $100 per day (up to five days) as long as your ticket purchase is made with your credit card or points.
Additional transportation benefits:
- Trip Cancellation/Interruption Insurance: Up to $10,000 in reimbursement for cardholders and immediate family members).
- Lost Luggage Reimbursement: Up to $3,000 per passenger, including cardholder and immediate family members (even if the cardholder is not traveling on the trip).
- Trip Delay Reimbursement: If your trip is delayed by more than six hours or requires an overnight hotel stay, you are eligible for reimbursement of up to $500 per person. This benefit extends to your family as well.
- Lyft Pink All Access free membership for two years.
- 10 points per $1 spent on Lyft (through March 2025).
- Primary rental car coverage of up to $75,000 for theft and collision damage.
Other Chase Sapphire Reserve benefits:
- Free subscription to DoorDash DashPass.
- Monthly DoorDash Food Delivery Credit ($5/month).
- Instacart+ Membership ($99).
- Monthly Instacart Credit ($15/month).
- No foreign transaction fees.
The Best Way to Redeem Chase Ultimate Rewards Points
Like many credit card points systems, with Chase Ultimate Rewards, you can use your points to purchase gift cards or even make a payment on your bill. But if you want to use them on travel, the best way to make the most use of your points currency is to transfer your points to Chase partners (there are 11 airline partners and three hotel partners). Before moving points, do thorough research to ensure you're satisfied with your investment.
Westend61/Getty Images
Capital One Venture X Card Benefits and Perks
The Capital One Venture X card is the last card making a splash in the fancy credit card convo. But this card came to play with an annual fee of $395, which is quickly offset with the card's $300 in annual statement credits when booking through Capital One Travel. Additionally, cardholders receive 10,000 bonus miles (a $100 value) on every account anniversary. And, you get 2X miles on everyday purchases, 5X miles on flights, and 10X miles on hotels and rental cars booked via Capital One Travel.
1. Lounges
Lounge benefits are similar to other cards, with cardholders being able to access Priority Pass. But if you want more lounge access, Capital One is introducing its own lounges, with the first opening at DFW in November 2021, with more openings slated for 2023.
2. Transportation Perks
Like the other two travel cards, Venture X offers $100 statement credits for Global Entry or TSA PreCheck. In addition, the card offers trip cancellation and interruption insurance that covers you and your immediate family member—up to $2,000 per person— on prepaid, nonrefundable tickets.
Additional Capital One Venture X transportation benefits:
- Trip Delay Reimbursement: Up to $500 per person to cover expenses like hotel rooms, food, and clothes when your flight is delayed overnight or by six hours or more.
- Lost Luggage Reimbursement: Up to $3,000 per covered trip if the airline damages or loses your bags.
- Rental Car Status: Both the primary cardholder and authorized users receive complimentary Hertz President's Circle status and primary rental car insurance (up to $75,000 for damage caused by collision or theft to a rental car).
The Best Way to Redeem Capital One Miles
The best way to make the most use of your points currency for travel is to transfer your points to Capital one partners. (There are 18 partners).
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Westend61/Getty Images
RELATED
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
We Are/Getty ImagesMay 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTaurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAllow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
If, despite what the dictionary says, you don't believe that "to worry" is an ultimate form of self-torment, check out some points from WebMD's "How Worrying Affects the Body" article. Worrying has a way of affecting your appetite, your sleep patterns, your moods, and your relationships. Some physical results of worrying include headaches, nausea, muscle tension, the inability to concentrate, and bouts of anxiety. In a nutshell, worrying can make you feel like crap, stress out the people around you, and ultimately paralyze you with doubt, fear, and angst.
And here's the thing—once you're done worrying, not only is the thing that you're worrying about still lingering around, but your worrying has probably made it that much worse. Basically, worrying does what the late newspaper columnist Emma Bombeck once said—"Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere."
Another thing that I've concluded about worry is a lot of people who do it are in denial about something else that it reveals, that they are a control freak. Think about it. When it comes to most of the things that we worry about, aren't they usually connected to things that we want to control, but are totally out of our hands?
Y'all, the more that I unpack this worry thing, the more I know that if there's one habit that all of us must rid ourselves of, it's worry. And chile, there's no time like the present to do just that!
Stop Creating So Many Hypothetical Storylines
I always think it's funny that, when topics like "drama queen" come up, automatically some folks get triggered. It really shouldn't bother any of us to hear the rundown of what a drama queen is (or does) unless it's a bit of a "hit dog will holler" kind of thing. Even then, if you see yourself as being one, there's no time like the present to make a change—if you want to, that is.
Anyway, although the typical definitions of a drama queen include things like mood swings, constant complaining, throwing temper tantrums, being a constant attention-seeker, and always stirring up trouble, I personally think that a totally underrated sign is someone who is always making mountains out of molehills. You know the kind—their man calls to say, "We need to talk" and, before he can call back, they've already decided that not only has he cheated, but he probably has a baby on the other side of town. Or, there's an impromptu staff meeting at work, and they walk into it in tears because they can already imagine themselves living in a cardboard box.
Your day-to-day life already comes with enough plots, twists, and characters. Significantly reduce your chances of becoming a worry wart by refusing to feed off of hypothetical storylines that your imagination is trying to freak you out with.
Do the Best That You Can. Consistently So.
Something that is mad freeing is knowing that, at the end of the day, you did the absolute best that you could. Not in some categories of your life—every single one of them. I can personally attest to this because, when I know that I've let the ball drop on something, it is a whole lot easier to get nervous, anxious, or worried than if I did all that I could. An example of this is a time when my rent got lost in the mail.
My landlord was telling me that if it wasn't found, I'd have to pay it again. Whatever. I had proof of payment. It was gonna be what it was gonna be. But back in the day, when I was an impulse shopper and writing checks all over the place, sometimes rent time would roll around and I'd be freaking out because I didn't know if I truly had enough in my account or not.
See the difference? When you know that you've done what is within your control, what else can you really do? It's when you have to face that you've been back-steppin' that worry is able to creep in. The good thing about this particular point is that it's a reminder that a lot of what we worry about ceases to be an issue if we simply operate in excellence and leave the rest to the Universe to figure out. (The check showed up, by the way. In case you were wondering.)
Avoid the Need to Get a Dozen Different Opinions
This is a gem of a point because, if you're someone who has wired yourself to have to speak with a billion people before making a decision, not only does that mean you don't trust yourself as much as you should, but it also explains why you may be prone to worrying a lot more than what is needed. Case in point. I recently found out that one of my main writing gigs was dissolving its company. When I shared this news with someone, they began to panic, seemingly on my behalf. "What are you going to do about your bills?", "Do you think it's time to get a full-time job?", "How can you handle this type of uncertainty?" Goodness, girl. I was actually doing just fine before I brought you into the mix. Lord.
When you're going through a challenge or trial, it's natural and, to a certain degree, even wise, to get another person's insight. Just make sure that you source out the kind of individual who will bring the kind of perspective that will make matters better, not worse; someone who will help to make things clearer, not more confusing. Oh, and try and keep the number of individuals that you consult with down to a minimum.
The more voices you hear, the harder it will be to listen to your own. And, the easier it will be to find more stuff to worry about—thanks (but no thanks) to all of the "extra" that they will bring into your psyche.
Stay Away from Negative Energy and People
On this site, we tend to talk about toxicity quite a bit—toxic family, toxic friends, toxic significant others…you name it. Well, a surefire sign that someone is a toxic individual is if they are negative most of the time. Negative people are the ones who always think that things are too good to be true.
Not only that but they blow small things totally out of proportion; they dwell on the bad circumstances in life; they thrive off of gossip; they tend to be self-deprecating; fear is always consuming them; they are stagnant because they rarely take risks; their moods are always leaning on the side of pessimism; they don't know how to forgive themselves or other people; they are chronic complainers; they dwell on the past—geeze. I could go on and on, but I don't want you to let the negative energy of even exploring all of this bring you down.
The interesting thing about worry, as it directly relates to negative people, is that negativity is what fuels them. And, fascinatingly enough, a lot of negative folks remain on the "glass half empty" side of life because negativity makes them, well, lazy. They would rather just assume that nothing is going to go right than worry about it or try and make things better.
This means that negative people will not only feed seeds of worry and doubt, but if you stick around them long enough, you can transition from worrying to not caring about what once concerned you at all. And rarely is apathy ever beneficial or good. There is scientific evidence to support that negativity is not only really bad for your health, it's mad contagious too. If you want to quit worrying so much, but you're always around negative energy and people, yeah, good luck with that.
It's pretty much like trying to avoid the flu when you share a bed with someone who's got it. It's not impossible but at the same time, it's pretty probable that you'll come down with it. Eventually.
Think of the Worst Case Scenario. Then Let It Go.
No matter what you're going through in life, there is always going to be a worst-case scenario. But, as they say, 85 percent of what we worry about actually never happens. Still, I think a part of the reason why worrying wears a lot of us out is because we're expending so much time, effort, and energy trying to talk ourselves out of the worst-case scenario rather than considering and then letting it go. A good example of this that comes to mind is when I was a little girl, I actually missed a flight that ended up going down. As a child, I never gave it much thought. Oh, but as an adult, I have. I travel, but flying isn't my absolute favorite thing in the world to do. It's because I know that I could've crashed on one.
One time, while on the way to Alaska, one of the little planes that I was on felt like a piece of paper in a tornado. I hated every moment of it. But the man next to me looked at me and said, "If it's your time, it's your time. What can you do about it now? Calm down." Ever since then, I've applied that way of thinking to just about every issue that tempts me to worry. I think about the worst thing that could happen, I make peace with it, and then I let the thought go.
It might seem weird, but once I'm in the head space of "Whatever it is, I can face it because God's got me," there is a sense of calm and tranquility that makes me almost fearless. Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it.
Take Things One Day At a Time
Remember how I said earlier that most worriers have issues with control? I meant it. Think about the last thing you worried about. Did it have something to do with what was going on in the now or something that could possibly happen tomorrow, next week, or even six months later? There is a Scripture in the Bible that says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:34—NKJV) No matter what your personal spiritual beliefs may be, you've gotta admit that this is a real pearl of wisdom in these words.
One problem with worry is that it causes you to take the focus off of what is right in front of you. Instead, you tend to put your energy and emotions into something that may or may not happen in the future. As a result, it robs you of time and the ability to handle what's before you with excellence. Matthew 6:34 is right. Tomorrow will be here soon enough, and you can best believe that it will come with its own set of concerns. But since tomorrow isn't promised, why not concentrate on what you can be sure of? Right here and right now.
Quit Overwhelming Yourself
There's someone I know who's always telling multiple people all of their business. Then, once their business gets out, they're all stressed out because they don't know who leaked it. SMDH. This is what feeling overwhelmed can be like—you feel somewhat burned out, if not completely overcome, all because you've taken on so many things that you don't really know how to trace your own steps so that you can complete everything. And when you've got tons that need to be done, of course, it's going to cause you to worry.
I know a lot of us ladies think that we're the masters of multitasking, but there is plenty of research that proves otherwise. While we might do "okay" with trying to do five things at once, we'd be much better off doing one thing at a time. It will keep our stress levels down, so that we can concentrate on doing each task with excellence. And, as a wonderful bonus, we can learn the art of saying "no" more often.
Doing one thing at a time is just one more way to stop worrying as much as you probably do.
RELAX
No one is able to relax when they are worried all of the time. How do I know this to be true? Because some antonyms for worry include calm, trust, sureness, confidence, reassurance, contentment, and joy. In this world, we all are going to experience highs and lows. That's a part of life. But as the late Rep. Elijah Cummings once said that he always asked his children, it's important that when "the lows" come that we ask, not why is this happening to us, but why is it happening for us?
By taking on the second approach to our circumstances, we can settle our spirits down more. Then, by doing something along the lines of meditation, yoga, prayer, sleeping, or even just chilling out on the couch and watching something that will get our minds off of what's trying to stress us out, we'll be better equipped to take it on.
Worry hates it when we're relaxed because it knows that it can't really get to us whenever we do. Bottom line—do what you can, release the rest. In a nutshell, that's the key to training yourself to stop worrying so freakin' much.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Shutterstock
Originally published on November 9, 2019