

Some of us aren't quite ready to take that overseas trip, while others have long given in to the travel bug and have been on flights since before the U.S. required negative COVID tests to return home. (Oh, I know I'm not the only one). If you're a travel lover like me, you might have been keeping a watchful eye on those coins in the past few months, looking for ways to save just to book the flight and luxe accommodations. Well, I'm also a discount lover with the I-got-it-but-I-ain't-spending-$5,000-on-nobody's-travel-package bougetto kind of traveler.
Whether you're among those waiting another six months or so before using those travel credits, or you're all set to go on your next adventure soon, check out a few tips that have helped me in planning luxury travel on a budget:
1. Venture beyond the usual third-party discount sites for booking trips.
Listen, we all know about the whole savings tip of traveling during off-peak times, and we know that Groupon is the go-to OG for booking discounted trips. (So are Expedia, Orbitz, Hopper, and Kayak.) However, sometimes I don't have the time or just don't want to fly out somewhere during some weird season where the vibes are nonexistent or just not festive. (Oh, and let's not forget the "revenge travel" that's going on now, making us all forget what a "peak" season even is with all the crowds and price surges.)
I've found great deals and discounts by going directly on a hotel's or airline's official website and signing up for their membership programs. Doing this allows you to avoid missing out on perks like having the ability to upgrade or have to deal with the sneaky third-party fine print that says the booking can't be changed or adjusted. For example, Hilton Honors offers some amazing perks for members to stay at their more than 5,900 properties around the world, their options are diverse and fabulous for staycations and overseas trips, and their customer service is everything.
I also love the Marriott Bonvoy program, where you can earn free nights and get updated on special member rates. (And don't think of Marriott as that budget hotel your family always stayed in for the annual reunion. They've got some pretty amazing luxury properties around the world including the W and the Ritz Carlton brands.)
2. Tap into rewards.
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It's also a good idea to check out your favorite airline's rewards programs and, for trips that take more than 8 hours or might be that one-time-a-year treat, book directly with them as a member. I absolutely love American Airlines Advantage, and they're my fave for my many trips to the Caribbean. The miles seem to rack up pretty quickly, the boarding process is typically seamless and stress-free, and miles can be used without a lot of annoying and inconveniencing stipulations.
Many credit card companies offer rewards on travel (NerdWallet has an excellent list of the best, by the way) and if you travel a lot, it's a good idea to look into the best ways you can make both your debit and credit cards work for you in terms of saving coins. Several banks offer cashback rewards on your purchases, so check out a few of those as well. (Here's a link to get you started, sis. You're welcome.)
3. Add luxury touches pre-trip.
You might have a coach ticket, but that doesn't mean you can't have a bit of luxury during your commute. I'm a huge fan of airport lounges, and if you're not into spending $600-$800 for access, try a day pass. American Airlines offers one for its Admiral's Club access where, for $59, you can get chef-inspired food and drinks, comfy seats to scroll the web via their free Wifi, and some even have shower suites. United, which has more than 45 lounge locations, also offers a $59 day pass that can be purchased via their app.
I also have no shame in bringing my own mini-bottles of top-shelf alcohol (if it's that kind of trip!), which can run you just $1.50 to $7.00 per bottle for brands like Johnnie Walker Black, Patron, Kettle One, or Ciroc. I simply pack my "nips" in my carry-on bag and add them to mixed drinks (virgin, of course) or juices for a pre-boarding cocktail.
You can also add luxury to the commute to and from the airport by spending a few extra dollars with Lyft Lux and ride in style via a high-end sudan or SUV. Only drivers who are highly rated and experienced are allowed to participate. And who wouldn't like getting picked up from the airport in a nice, clean BMW, Lexus, or Cadillac?
For the times when I can't swing hundreds of dollars a night for lodging, I pack luxury items to take with me to the budget digs. Items like a silk robe or lingerie, aromatherapy bath oils and gels, satin pillow cases, small scented candles or bottles of sparkling water (bought at the airport of course) all add that luxe touch to my stay.
4. Book a villa or home rental vs. the usual resort packages.
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I get that many people are just used to resorts and like the one-stop-shop vibes of just booking a weeklong stay for $2,500 or more and enjoying all-inclusive amenities the property offers. But I've found that traditional resorts just aren't my cup of tea. My idea of the "luxury" I should be getting for that price just never seems to match up with what many offer. (Either I don't like the food or the customer service as much as I should for the price, or the entertainment is just not within my tastes.)
Sometimes spending that same $2,500 to book a longer stay at a villa or home rental is a much better experience, and you get to really tailor or choose the version of "luxury" you prefer.
For example, in Negril, Jamaica you can get a private home with a pool, proximity to a private beach, and modern amenities for $250 to $300 per night, and simply hire someone to come in to cook custom meals for you. (Trust me, they're out there. If the host can't connect you, it's easy to find one by asking a taxi driver or restaurant host.) You can create your own fun, utilize the technology, and have privacy. To me, that's a more luxurious experience (and more bang for my buck) than being limited to cafeteria-style and chain-food-serving restaurants, sharing a resort pool with dozens of people (who apparently flew thousands of miles to hear Top 40 hits of the early 2000), or being underwhelmed by drunken tourists doing absurd versions of twerking.
5. Think outside the (location and type) box when it comes to lodging.
There are so many so-called hidden gems that have a luxury vibe but are not among the popular or well-advertised spots. For example, instead of staying on the popular Hip Strip of Montego Bay, sometimes I opt for Lucea, Jamaica, a small town located between Negril and Montego Bay. Try the Grand Palladium, which will run you about $250 to $321 per night vs. popular resorts in Negril that cost upwards of $400 per night for similar amenities. Or instead of staying in Tulum or Cancun, Mexico, where luxury hotels might run you upwards of $350 per night, try Playa del Carmen or San Jose del Cabo, where the average prices for luxury stays start around $200 per night.
Boutique hotels in popular vacay destinations also tend to offer good deals on room rates, and you'll still get the luxury feel of a resort. I like Villas Sur Mer which features the cutest cottages, a beautiful pool, cliff-side access, and amazing views for as low at $126 (during some seasons).
Also, luxury hostels are a thing. (Travel Binger has an awesome list of top spots around the world.) You get luxe touches like modern amenities (think: underground clubs, laundry services, private terraces, chic cafes, and travel shops), great views, and customized extras at super-affordable rates.
6. Research organizational affiliation and student deals or corporate discounts.
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I often overlooked this until I found out that as a grad student, I qualify for quite a few discounts or deals on everything from plane or train tickets, to transportation vouchers, to hotel stays. If you're part of a sorority or volunteer organization, you're a military veteran or active service member, or you're a church leader, you might be eligible for discounts. Also, memberships with orgs and companies like AAA, Costco, BJs, and credit unions can have the added benefit of travel deals. Your school's alumni association might even offer discounts.
I've also, in the past, worked for companies that had partnerships with other brands and offered discounts via those partnerships. Check your job's website or ask an HR rep about any sort of travel discounts you might be eligible for as an employee. (Oh, and check out these companies that offer competitive benefit packages that put vacation at the forefront.)
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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