For my 31st birthday, I knew I wanted to take my very first solo trip. Taking an international trip by myself was something that I wanted to do for years, and I finally decided to make this goal become my reality. Tulum, Mexico has been on my travel radar for a couple of years, so I was ecstatic that I could finally visit this gorgeous city!
Tulum can be described as a peaceful, picturesque, relaxing, and rejuvenating city that offers amazing food and drinks, natural and holistic healing, some of the friendliest citizens ever, and a number of Instagram-worthy places to take photos! It is located about two hours away from Cancun in the state of Quintana Roo and is home to some of the most amazingly beautiful beaches the world has to offer. In recent years, Tulum has gained popularity.
When visiting Tulum, you should know:
Getting There
Image via Sylvia Pettway
Since Tulum does not have an airport, you must fly in through Cancun International. From there, you can rent a car, use a private or shared transportation service, or do what I did and ride on the ADO bus, the cheapest option. The ADO buses are public charter buses that citizens and tourists use to travel to different cities along the Riviera Mayan coast. The buses are affordable to ride and super comfortable. Some of them even come with Wifi!
Once I exited the airport, I found the ADO stand and paid for my ticket using pesos. (Please use pesos instead of your currency when buying your ticket because you will get your change back in pesos, and it may be less than what you expect). When using the ADO bus, you can either purchase a ticket where the bus goes straight to Tulum or you can purchase a ticket where you will arrive in Playa del Carmen from the airport and transfer to another bus. (You can read more about the transportation options here.)
Money, Communication, and...the Plug
Their currency is the Mexican Peso, but some places accept credit cards. It is best for you to bring pesos to use. You either order your currency through your local bank or visit the Santander Bank in Tulum to exchange your currency. Avoid exchanging your currency at the Cancun International Airport, because the exchange rates are a lot higher than the above-mentioned options.
Most of the citizens speak Spanish, but I came across a few men and women who were either bilingual or understood me and could help me if I had any questions. With that being said, brush up on your Spanish! Even if you only know or learn basic Spanish greetings, it goes a long way in Tulum. The citizens appreciate it and it will help you learn and respect their culture even more. If all else fails, Google Translate is your friend!
For my fellow Americans, there is no need to buy a universal plug as Tulum has both plug type A and plug type B for all your electronic needs.
Image via Sylvia Pettway
Skincare Is a Must
Bring sunscreen and bug repellent. You're going to need them both. In order to accommodate Tulum's eco-friendly living and to protect the animals, try to use biodegradable skin products, especially when visiting the cenotes. I used these products: Neutrogena Sheer Zinc Sunscreen and OFF Botanicals Insect Repellent.
Research your hotel accommodations. Staying in town is cheaper than staying on the beach, but it is all about your preference and your budget. I stayed in town on this trip, but when I visit again, I plan to do a couple of days on the beach and a couple of days in town.
Hot Spots for Lodging
Image via Sylvia Pettway
For my solo trip, I knew I wanted my accommodations to be close to the center of Tulum where mostly everything was within walking distance. I'm so glad that I was blessed to find Villas Geminis Boutique Condo Hotel as it absolutely exceeded my expectations! Each room is named and reflected after a famous artist. I stayed in the 'Gustav Klimt' room which came with a complete kitchenette area, a king-sized bed, a sofa bed, shower, and a very big and deep outdoor tub with another overhead shower.
The staff at Villas Geminis was very welcoming and accommodating to my needs, and they went above and beyond to help me to navigate the area with ease. A stay at this fabulous and very affordable hotel also comes with an outdoor pool (which I had all to myself each day), breakfast at no additional charge, and free bicycle rentals to use for touring the beautiful city. Villas Geminis have booklets inside of each room that describes the additional services they provide as well as restaurants, bars, attractions, and tours that helped me to experience one of the best hotel stays ever!
Best Eats
Image via Sylvia Pettway
La Malquerita was the first restaurant that I visited in Tulum. The restaurant has two menus--one with Mexican dishes and one with Italian dishes! The food and drinks at this restaurant are not only appetizing but super affordable. Like many other restaurants in the Tulum city center, they offer happy hour specials on their drinks (which were quite strong and tasty). The total cost of my first meal was $11.50--including two drinks! The restaurant also has a dining area inside that has swings instead of chairs. The quesadilla plate was really delicious, but the tacos needed a bit more flavor. Nevertheless, it was definitely worth visiting, even if you simply want to take advantage of their two-for-one drink specials.
Image via Sylvia Pettway
Burrito Amor is one of the top restaurants to visit in Tulum. This is one of those restaurants that you have try or your visit to Tulum won't be complete. The establishment has a variety of options, including vegetarian and vegan, to please the burrito-lover in you! The burritos are wrapped in banana leaves and served with a variety of sauces to appeal to your preferred level of spice! I got the vegetarian burrito with a margarita, of course, and the meal was fantastic! It's a busy restaurant, so if you want to beat the crowd, get there once they open. F.Y.I., they serve breakfast, too!
Listen to me...if you desire an authentic street taco with the most flavorful meats you've ever tasted in your life? Please, please, please make sure you visit Antojito La Chiapaneca. I've never had tacos that tasted so good. You know the food is good when you forget to take a picture of the meal (le sigh). I had a chicken and a steak taco, and they were both amazing! The restaurant is famous for their tacos de carnitas, or pork tacos, where they shave the cooked pieces of pork in front you and prepare it for you!
More Than Tacos
Image via Sylvia Pettway
Anyone who knows me knows I love a good, juicy, flavorful burger, and hot, crispy, well-seasoned fries. I needed my burger fix while I was in Tulum, so I researched some places and came across Bonita Tulum Burger Bar and it definitely exceeded my expectations! It was one of the best burgers that I've had in a while---huge, fresh, and perfectly seasoned. Along with the standard condiments, Bonita offers a cream cheese spread that was heavenly. I used that instead of ketchup to dip my fries in! Like the other above-mentioned restaurants, Bonita is affordably priced and offers vegan and vegetarian options.
Image via Sylvia Pettway
I have a huge sweet tooth, so I was glad that I came across Campanella Cremerie, a shop that sells a selection of gelato flavors and other sugary sweet treats. The staff members were very friendly and the gelato was extremely tasty! Try the hazelnut flavor and thank me later. I ended up visiting this place twice and was satisfied each time.
Batey is a very popular bar located in Tulum Centero that is known for its mojitos. What makes these particular drinks so special is that they are made using fresh sugar cane juice! I had the watermelon mojito and it was pretty good!
Life's a Beach
Tulum is known for its amazingly beautiful beaches, and there are a variety of them to enjoy. Each day I visited the beaches, the weather was gorgeous, the temperature was perfect, and the water felt amazing! The most popular beaches in Tulum include Playa Paraiso, Playa Ruinas (which surrounds the Tulum Mayan Ruins), and Las Palmas Public Beach.
Image via Sylvia Pettway
There are beach chairs and cabanas for a fee so that you can lie back and enjoy the serenity that the beaches have to offer. I didn't get the opportunity to visit some of the other attractions that Tulum is famously known for, but I have added them for future reference. Click on each one for more info:
- Dos Ojos And Grand Cenotes
- Tulum Mayan Ruins
- A Reiki Massage Spa Center
- Casa Malca (formerly known as Pablo Escobar's mansion
- Gitano Restaurant
- Farm to Table Restaurant
- CoCoTulum Hotel
I have already decided that I will be going back to Tulum again for my birthday this year, and I can't wait to relive these experiences and make new ones in this magical city! Where would you like to go for your first solo trip?
Article originally published on Living SILsationally
Featured Image by Shutterstock
Originally published March 10, 2020
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Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
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In the later years of her career, after the release of her studio albums The Electric Lady in 2013 and 2018's Dirty Computer, many began to notice the shift in Monáe's artistry and fashion, which some widely praised.
Although the now 37-year-old rarely addressed the reason behind the transformation over the years, that would all change when Monáe sat down with radio personality Angie Martinez on her IRL podcast earlier this month.
During the interview, Monáe --who was promoting her latest album, "The Age of Pleasure"-- opened up about her mental health struggles, how she would cope, and why she chose to live in freedom.
Janelle On Why She Stopped Wearing Her Signature Suits All the Time
Janelle Monáe
Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
In the May discussion, the "I Like That" vocalist revealed she suffers from anxiety, which she claimed would occur around "winter to spring."
Monáe added that when she has her bouts with anxiety, she tends to turn to food as a coping mechanism. Further in the interview, the "Lipstick Lover" singer disclosed that her emotional eating habits caused a weight fluctuation and that she could no longer fit into the suits she once wore earlier in her career.
Monáe explained that even though she tried to diet and exercise to return to her smaller figure, she ultimately stopped and made peace with herself with the help of therapy because she acknowledged that she isn't the same person she was nearly a decade ago and shouldn't try to be even if it was a highly "celebrated" version.
"I'm petite, but it can get thick... When I couldn't fit them suits anymore, and I was like, 'Oh my God, what is going on?' I would be dieting, running, or exercising, trying to fit into [it]. I'm just like, 'No. No, we're here. This is where we are.' We [are] not about to be utilizing life trying to be an old version of ourselves. No matter how celebrated that version of me was. I'm here. I'm here," she said.
Janelle On Freedom
As the topic shifted to freedom and what that meant to Monáe, the "Primetime" vocalist shared that in this new era of her life, she enjoys it because she can boldly express herself however she wants and honor who she is as a person right now.
Monáe also revealed that she had found ways to become a better artist and the best version of herself because of her freedom.
"What is the new version of freedom? What does that feel like? That's usually when I feel the most free is when artistically, I can honor exactly who I am right now," she stated. "I feel most free as a human when I can honor exactly who I am right now."
Monáe's fourth studio album, The Age of Pleasure, is set to be released on June 9.
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