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What You Should Know About Biden's VP Pick, Sen. Kamala Harris
We are in the home stretch and less than 90 days out from Election Day. Between 2020 giving us pandemics, racism, and a questionable economy, the girl has outdone herself with the surprises this year. Needless to say, the very fabric of our livelihood depends on the outcome of this election. No matter where your politics may lie, being an informed voter is paramount.
After the recent Democratic National Convention, Joe Biden selected Sen. Kamala Harris as his Vice President running mate on this year's ticket. With this historic nomination, Sen. Kamala Harris will be the first woman, the first Asian-American and the first Black Vice President of the United States if elected. It has been said that Harris' mother once said, "You may be the first to do many things. Make sure you are not the last." Whether or not you choose to vote Biden/Harris, this is truly a historical moment that will create a wave for change going forward into the future.
Here is what you should know about Sen. Kamala Harris:
- Kamala Devi Harris was born October 20, 1964, in Oakland, CA to Donald Harris and Shamayla Gopalan Harris. Sen. Harris' parents are both immigrants, her father from Jamaica, and her mother from India.
- Sen. Harris has one younger sister, Maya Lakshmi Harris. Maya is a powerhouse in her own right as an American lawyer, public policy advocate, and television commentator.
- Donald Harris was an economics professor and Shamayla Harris was a physician. Her parents met during their time at UC Berkely.
- After she graduated from high school, Harris attended Howard University. Which, if you did not know before, is one of the most prestigious historically Black colleges in Washington, DC. It was here that Harris graduated with a BA in political science and economics. She also joined Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority Inc. while attending Howard University. Following up on her undergrad career, Harris earned her law degree at the University of California, Hastings College of the Law, J.D., in 1989.
- To keep her children close to their Indian heritage, Shamayla gave them names that were a nod to their roots. Kamala means "lotus" and is also another name for the Hindu goddess Lakshmi.
- Sen. Harris has spoken about the fact that she was bused to her elementary school. In fact, in the first grade she was bused to Thousand Oaks Elementary School. This school was early on in the integration process and she spent the next three years being bussed from her predominantly black, lower-middle-class neighborhood to a white school district.
- As a child, Harris was able to embrace both her South Asian and Black identities. Her mother made sure her daughters attended both a Black Baptist church and a Hindu temple.
- Currently, Sen. Harris is married to her husband Douglas Emhoff who is an entertainment lawyer. They were married in 2014 making Harris a stepmom to Emhoff two children, Cole and Ella.
What you should know about Sen. Kamala Harris’ political career:
1990-1998:
During most of the 90s, Kamala Harris served as Deputy District Attorney for Alameda County, California. It was during this time that Harris earned her reputation for being "tough" in cases such as gang violence, drug trafficking, and sexual abuse. In 1998, Harris was named managing attorney of the Career Criminal Unit of San Francisco District Attorney's Office.
2004-2016:
From 2004 to 2011, Harris served as District Attorney of San Francisco. She became the first Black woman elected as San Francisco's District Attorney. During her time as District Attorney, Harris created a program to provide first-time drug offenders second chances. They also were able to have an opportunity to earn a high school degree and find a job. In 2010, Kamala became the first Black woman to be elected California Attorney General, overseeing the country's second-largest Justice Department, only behind the U.S. Department of Justice.
In this position, Harris managed a $735 million budget while overseeing more than 4,800 attorneys. Also while being California Attorney General, she fought for families and won a $20 billion settlement for California homeowners against big banks that were unfairly foreclosing on homes. During this time, Harris published her book, Smart on Crime: A Creer Prosecutor's Plan to Make Us Safer. Harris later went on to serve as Attorney General of California from 2011 to 2016.
2017-Present:
Sen. Kamala Harris was elected to the U.S. Senate as a Democrat in 2016 and began her first term representing California on January 3, 2017. She was the first Indian-American to serve as a U.S. senator as well as the second African-American woman. Since being elected to the U.S. Senate in 2016, Harris has introduced and co-sponsored legislation to help the middle class, increase the minimum wage to $15, reform cash bail, and defend the legal rights of refugees and immigrants. Harris is on the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence and also on the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee.
In 2019, Sen. Harris released her a second book, a memoir, The Truths We Hold: An American Journey, as well as a picture book, Superheroes Are Everywhere. January of that same year, Sen. Harris announced her bid to run for President in the 2020 elections. This was followed up in December 2019 with the Senator dropping out of the race and putting her support behind Joe Biden. On August 11, 2020, Joe Biden selected Sen. Kamala Harris as his running mate for the 2020 Presidental elections.
Where does Sen. Kamala Harris stand on the issues?
Healthcare:
Harris has expressed mixed messages on the issue of healthcare. There have been many questions surrounding where Sen. Harris stands as far as "Medicare for All". What we are clear on is that Sen. Harris has spoken about underserved communities during the pandemic and she has also spoken to maternal mortality. In July 2019, Harris unveiled a different kind of healthcare platform, "KamalaCare", that would expand Medicare without ending private insurance. This platform was thought to be splitting the difference between Sanders and Biden.
Immigration:
During her presidential candidacy, Harrisadvocated for several things: using executive powers to reinstate and expand the Obama-era Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program. Also, creating a clear path to citizenship for Dreamers brought into the U.S. as children.
Consumer Protection:
While being California Attorney General, Harris' role in securing a $25 billion settlement for California homeowners from big mortgage firms confirmed hef stance as a consumer advocate. Harris' record included prosecution of predatory lenders, protections for those drowning in student debt, and being tough on online consumer privacy issues.
Policing/Criminal Justice:
Harris has called for reforms to address racism in the criminal justice system during her presidential candidacy. This platform included an end to private prisons and mandatory minimums, legalizing marijuana, and abolishing the death penalty and solitary confinement.
Education:
Harris introduced a plan that proposed canceling up to $20,000 in student loans for borrowers who started a business in a poor community and maintained it for three years. This was very different than most of her opponents who wanted to cancel student loan debt altogether.
Climate Change:
Over that last few years, Harris has taken a stance on addressing climate change and environmental justice. She endorsed the Green New Deal and in September, Harris released a climate plan that allocated a $10 trillion investment in a clean-energy transition over the next ten years. Harris and Rep. Ocasio-Cortez introduced a plan for legislation that would ensure that new environmental bills be evaluated based on how they impact frontline communities.
If you want to find out more about where Sen. Harris stands since accepting the nomination, tune in to the Vice Presidential debate on October 7.
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This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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