So your stylist requires you to "come washed".
For some, that sounds like an odd request. For others, it sounds pretty normal.
One of the main trending topics in the black beauty community is that beauticians are requiring clients to come "washed". I'm sure some of you may have turned your face up at that.
A shampoo at the salon is an experience that most people, if not all, look forward to within their salon experience. I mean, who doesn't like to lean back in a shampoo bowl and experience that lovely scalp massage and cleaning! My eyes just rolled in the back of my head thinking about it.
Across various social media platforms, memes and tweets alike have triggered this conversation.
you’re not a stylist if I have to come with my hair washed, blow-dried, conditioned, and with the hair.
— Cam🥂 (@_threehunna) August 30, 2019
Question if your going to a hair salon for braids why do you have to come with your hair already washed 🤔
— 👑Myeeeee (@_MeOhMyeee) August 28, 2019
For my daughter hair y’all want me to come washed & blow dryed then gonna charge me 65-70 dollars tf wrong wit y’all
— ForeverRELL🕊💙 (@Tionaaa___) August 22, 2019
I need to go somewhere to get my hair washed really good and braided down but y’all “stylist” be wanting us to come with our hair already washed so I doubt y’all providing that service 🙄
— Kilo (@DontLoseYour_Ki) August 29, 2019
I want this girl to do my closure but I gotta come washed and braided 🥴🥴🥴 who tf just braids hair for a sew in ??!!
— 𝕷𝖊𝖝 𝕲𝖆𝖑𝖔𝖗𝖊 🕸 (@LexxGalore) August 28, 2019
detroit hair stylist be like come washed bring your own hair, flat-irons, edge control, and chair.
— Es. (@theessieb) August 28, 2019
these Miami stylist really lost they damn mind! This bitch wanna charge $250 for some basic ass braids AND want you to come washed, pressed, AND bring your own edge control? Bitch i might as well do my own damn hair, tf? 🤨
— Ash🌞 (@SincerelyAnese) August 31, 2019
Let's dive into this "come washed" hair movement, shall we?
There's thousands of West African owned braiding salons across the U.S., and most aren't licensed cosmetologists or hair stylists. They have the natural gift for braiding so, why not profit? As a result, you have to come shampooed and dry to be serviced (for most of those salons). Mostly, so they can maximize the productivity and turnover rate of clients in and out of the salon. African-Americans have tapped into this market with their love of braiding using some, if not all, of the same business style.
Formal training and theory of hair and scalp is what beauty school gives, so if you didn't attend an institution to learn the science behind caring for hair, there are so many things you don't know. The benefits of shampooing, proper sanitation, infection control and many other things are commonly reinforced in the teachings of cosmetology, barbering and esthetics. Imagine going into a braiding salon for passion twists, and the braider starts parting your hair with the same comb she used on an earlier client who has a severe dandruff condition. To make matters worse, you see no proof of sanitation like an EPA grade cleanser or Barbicide Jar. What face did you just make at that moment when you thought about it? Riiiight!
Since most states across the country don't require the licensing of braiders, most won't know this very important information unless they take it upon themselves to do the research, or if a client disaster happens.
This isn't to shame braiders who don't know, simply because...they don't know. But let's tap into trained stylists who DO know. The harmful ideology of "Well I know better, I just won't do it," is what's dangerous to the public. Skills such as product selection, a client using a specific shampoo, or choosing conditioner or leave-in may not guarantee a bomb-end result of a style such as a silk press. Think about it. Finally, there's the proper terminology of washed versus shampooing...but that's another conversation for another day.
Right or wrong, it's the public's responsibility to decide who they will patronize based on the information given by a stylist. Most states offer online access which allows you to view a list of stylists who are properly licensed. If a customer chooses to support a stylist who is not licensed, they unconsciously waive their right to expect professionalism because that stylist is, by law, unprofessional. That doesn't demote their kindness or skill at all. In so many words, don't expect professionalism in unprofessional spaces, and you won't be disappointed.
There, I said it.
To keep up with Lakia and The Kia Xperience Salon, follow her on Instagram @thekiaxperience or visit www.thekiaxperience.com.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
Keep It Cute Love And Hip Hop GIFGiphyAs the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Aint It No Way GIF by UFCGiphyOuch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
Break Up Friendship GIF by TLCGiphy“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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