One of the pros of our new self-isolation life is that we are learning our way around the kitchen and getting quite domesticated. Grocery store runs are the new social events of the season and our dinner tables are the new five-star restaurants. We all have at least five recipes we have learned while adulting, but every now and then we want to try something new.
Did you know there are emotional benefits to cooking? Studies show that it boosts confidence, increases concentration, and encourages creativity. The Wall Street Journal reported that therapists even recommend cooking classes as a way to treat depression and anxiety, and addiction. Talk about benefits!
As we make the kitchen our sanctuary, we have to give props to one of the best things ever invented: the slow cooker. Its versatility brings so much flavor and comfort to meals. If you don't have a slow cooker, I need you to add it to your Amazon cart immediately! The advantages of using a slow cooker are second to none, from the optimal distribution of flavors to the fact that you can leave a slow cooker on for hours.
Ahead, you'll find some slow cooker recipes that will make you think about slapping ya mama (because we know you were raised better than that).
Slow Cooker Beef & Broccoli Recipe
This savory and healthy meal can bring some comfort during these unprecedented times. We love this recipe from Chef Savvy. Adding some white rice or riced cauliflower for an additional side can take it to the next level.
INGREDIENTS
- Chuck Steak
- Beef Broth
- Soy Sauce
- Garlic
- Oyster Sauce
- Light Brown Sugar
- Sesame Oil
- Cornstarch
- Broccoli
Slow-Cooker Chicken Tortilla Soup Recipe
Your city may be experiencing some lower temperatures so this tortilla soup will keep you warm and satisfied. The fried tortilla strips will change your life, thanks to Delish's recipe. It's also packed with tons of protein.
INGREDIENTS
- 1 lb. boneless skinless chicken breasts
- 115-oz. can black beans, rinsed
- 1 c.frozen corn
- 2 bell peppers, chopped
- 1 white onion, chopped
- 1 15-oz. can fire-roasted tomatoes
- 1/4 c. freshly chopped cilantro, plus more for garnish
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 tbsp. cumin
- 1 tbsp. chili powder
- 1 tsp. kosher salt
- 2 c. low-sodium chicken broth
- 1 c. shredded Monterey jack
- 1 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil
- 3 small corn tortillas, cut into strips
- Sliced avocado, for serving
- Sour cream, for serving
- Sliced avocado, for serving
- Sour cream, for serving
- Lime wedges, for serving
SalmonGetty ImagesSlow-Cooker Salmon With Creamy Lemon Sauce Recipe
We challenge you to try this new and innovative way to cook salmon. Diet Hood's formula allows you set it, forget it and then indulge in a super juicy piece of fish packed with powerful flavor. Looking for a side? Try some garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus.
INGREDIENTS FOR THE SALMON
- 3 lemons, divided
- 1.5 to 2 pounds skin-on salmon fillet
- Cooking spray
- Salt and fresh ground pepper, to taste
- 1/2 teaspoon sweet paprika, or to taste
- 1/2 teaspoon chili powder, or to taste
- 1 teaspoon garlic granules, or garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon Italian Seasoning
- 1 cup low-sodium vegetable broth
- Juice of 1 lemon
Slow Cooker Bourbon Short Ribs with Cheesy Grits Recipe
This recipe is for the aspiring chef that's about that life. My mouth is watering simply looking at this photo. Imagine what your kitchen will smell like as you prepare this delectable meal for you and bae in Cafe Quarantine. Simply Recipe's instructions walk us through how to get the short ribs just right.
INGREDIENTS
- 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 3 to 4 pounds bone-in beef short ribs
- 3 tablespoons olive oil
- 1 large shallot, sliced
- 2 stalks celery, chopped
- 2 large carrots, chopped
- 2 cups beef broth
- 1/4 cup bourbon
- 1/4 cup brown sugar
- 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
- 2 cloves garlic
- 1 bay leaf
- Orange zest, for garnish
Crock-Pot Breakfast Casserole Recipe
For me, breakfast is the hardest thing to prepare so I am obsessed with this casserole. It combines all of my favorite things and requires very little effort.
INGREDIENTS
- 1 lb. bacon
- Cooking spray
- 12 large eggs
- 1 c. whole milk
- 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
- Kosher salt
- Freshly ground black pepper
- Kosher salt
- Freshly ground black pepper
- 1 1/2 lb. frozen hash browns
- 1 medium onion, chopped
- 2 c. shredded cheddar
- Freshly chopped chives, for garnish
- Freshly chopped chives, for garnish
Slow Cooker Tacos Al Pastor Recipe
Taco Tuesday has never looked so amazing! Prepare some chips and salsa, guacamole and margaritas with a fan favorite, Taco Al Pastor. Fun fact: Tacos al pastor were created in the 1930s in Puebla, Mexico, by Lebanese immigrants who introduced the region to classic shawarma: roast lamb served on a flour tortilla or pita bread (pan árabe).
INGREDIENTS
- 1 (5-pound) boneless pork shoulder roast (Boston butt), extra fat trimmed off
- 1 (12-oz.) bottle of beer (I used Modelo Negra, or use chicken stock if making this gluten-free)
- 2 chipotles in adobo sauce
- 1 fresh pineapple, peeled and cored, then roughly chopped
- 1/2 cup chopped red onion
- 3 tablespoons chili powder (not cayenne)
- 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
- 2 tablespoons white vinegar
- 2 teaspoons kosher salt
- 1 teaspoon ground cumin
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- corn tortillas, for serving
- optional toppings: crumbled goat cheese, (extra) diced fresh pineapple, chopped fresh cilantro leaves, chopped red onions, diced avocado, thinly-sliced radishes
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Loaded Slow-Cooker Potatoes
Loaded Slow-Cooker Potatoes may be the easiest meal on this list. You can pair them with a protein or eat it as its own dish. No matter your choice, you will thoroughly enjoy this comfort food. For more flavor, try using multiple types of cheese.
INGREDIENTS
- Cooking spray
- 2 lb. baby potatoes, halved and quartered if large
- 3 c. shredded Cheddar
- 2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
- 8 slices bacon, cooked
- 1/4 c. sliced green onions, plus more for garnish
- 1 tbsp. paprika
- kosher salt
- Freshly ground black pepper
- Sour cream, drizzling
Slow Cooker Shrimp Boil Recipe
Take a mental trip to NOLA with this shrimp boil recipe from The Kitchn. You can even add some crab legs if you're feeling saucy. Who knows, you could even do a lit mukbang aka an online audiovisual broadcast where a host eats food while interacting with the world wide web.
INGREDIENTS
- 1 1/2 pounds small red-skinned potatoes (about 15), quartered
- 1 pound smoked Andouille or kielbasa sausage, cut into 1-inch pieces
- 3 ears corn, shucked, cut into thirds crosswise
- 6 cloves garlic, smashed and peeled
- 1/4 cup Old Bay seasoning
- 1 medium lemon, halved, plus wedges for serving
- 6 cups water
- 2 pounds large raw shrimp (16 to 20 per pound), cleaned and peeled but with tails left on, thawed if frozen
- For serving: chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves, freshly ground black pepper, melted butter, and hot sauce
Asian Lettuce Wraps (Crock Pot or Stovetop) Recipe
Looking to add an easy but healthy recipe to your repertoire? Well Plated by Erin's recipe has you covered. The sesame oil and soy sauce are essential to this recipe so make sure you do taste tests throughout the preparation.
INGREDIENTS
- 1/2 cup hoisin sauce
- 1/4 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce — plus 1 tablespoon, use tamari to make gluten free
- 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
- 2 teaspoons sesame oil
- 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
- 2 pounds ground chicken breast
- 1 small bunch green onions — thinly sliced, white/light green and dark green parts divided
- 1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger
- 2 cloves garlic — minced (about 2 teaspoons)
- 8 ounces baby bella cremini mushrooms — finely chopped
- 1 1/2 cup grated carrots — from about 3 large carrots
- 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes — reduce to 1/4 teaspoon or omit if sensitive to spice
- 2 cans water chestnuts, drained and finely chopped — (8 ounce cans) drained and finely chopped
- 2 heads butter lettuce
Crock-Pot French Toast Recipe
French toast is my favorite breakfast staple so I was extremely intrigued when I saw that you can make it in a crockpot. The picture looks fire so I can't wait to try this buttery goodness.
INGREDIENTS
- Cooking spray, for Crock-Pot
- 1 large brioche (or challah), preferably day-old
- 8 large eggs
- 2 c. half-and-half
- 1/3 c. granulated sugar
- 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
- 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
- 1/4 tsp. kosher salt
- small pinch nutmeg
- Maple syrup, for serving
- small pinch nutmeg
- Powdered sugar, for serving
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RELATED
Let me start this off by saying that of course, to a certain extent, the answer is subjective because it’s mostly opinion-rather-than-fact driven. However, I personally think that sex is hella impactful, which is why I hope that my personal breakdown will at least cause you to want to think about what you do, who you do it with, and why, more than you may have in the past.
Because although, at the end of the day, the physical aspects of making love, having sex, and f-cking are very similar, you’d be amazed by how drastically different they are in other ways…at the very same time.
Making Love
GiphyBack when I wrote my first book, I wasn’t even 30 at the time and still, one of the things that I said in it is, I pretty much can’t stand the term “make love.” Way back then, I stated that sex between two people who truly love each other and are committed for the long haul, when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it’s so much more about CELEBRATING love than MAKING it. To make means “to produce” or “to bring into existence;” to celebrate means “to commemorate,” “to perform” or “to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time.”
The act of sex, standing alone? It can’t make love happen and honestly, believing otherwise is how a lot of people find themselves getting…got.
What do I mean? Tell me how in the world, you meet a guy, talk to him for a few weeks, don’t even know his middle name or where he was born and yet somehow, you choose to call the first time you have sex with him (under those conditions) “making love.” You don’t love him. You don’t know him well enough to love him. He doesn’t love you either (for the same reason). And yet you’re making love? How sway? Oh, but let that sex be bomb and those oxytocin highs might have you tempted to think that’s what’s happening — and that is emotionally dangerous. And yes, I mean, literally.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times before, that one of the reasons why I like that the Bible defines sex between a husband and his wife is by using the word “know” (Genesis 4:1) is because, well, I think that is what celebrating love is all about — we know each other well enough to know that we love each other, we know each other well enough to know that we aren’t going anywhere, and that knowing is what makes us want to celebrate that union by getting as close to one another and bringing as much physical pleasure to each other as we possibly can…as often as absolutely possible.
To me, that is what the peak of physical intimacy is all about — and the people who choose to use the term “make love,” it should be seen through this type of lens. When this type of mental and emotional bond comes together via each other’s bodies, they are amplifying love, enjoying love, embracing love.
Making it, though? Chile, the love has already been made. Sex is just the icing on the cake.
Having Sex
GiphyA few nights ago, I found myself rewatching this movie called Four of Hearts (which you can currently view on yep, you guessed it: Tubi). It’s about two married couples — one that is in an open marriage and another that isn’t although they somehow thought that sharing a night with the other couple would be a good idea (chile). Anyway, as one of the partners found themselves getting low-key sprung, the one they fell for said in one of the scenes, “It wasn’t a connection. It was just sex.” JUST. SEX.
Listen, when you decide to let a man put an entire part of his body inside of you at the risk of potentially getting an STI/STD or pregnant (because no form of birth control is 100 percent except for abstinence), it can never be “just sex” (somebody really needed to hear that too). At the same time, though, I got the character’s point because, if one or both people do not love each other or even deeply care for one another and/or sex is treated as an activity more than an act to establish a worthwhile connection and/or you and the person you are sleeping with have not really discussed what you are expecting from sex besides the act itself — you’re definitely not making/celebrating love.
Not by a long shot. What can make things get a bit complicated, though, is you’re doing the same act that “love makers” do without the same mental and emotional ties…or (sometimes) expectations.
You know, back when I decided to put all of my business out there via the piece “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” now more than ever, I am quite clear that most of those guys fell into the “having sex” category. I wasn’t in the type of relationship with them where “making love” even made sense; however, because I was friends with most of them, we weren’t exactly f-cking (which I will get to in just a moment) either. We had a connection of some sort for the bedroom yet not enough to be together in the other rooms of the house.
We were really attracted and curious, so we decided to act on that. Oftentimes, the sex was good and so we rationalized that “having sex” was enough because if the friendship was, eh, “sound enough”, that we could justify the physical pleasure.
And y’all, that’s kind of what having sex is — it’s the limbo (or purgatory, depending on your situation) between making love and f-cking. The thing about limbo ish is it’s a lot like something being lukewarm: it’s not really one thing or another which means that it can completely blindside you, if you’re not careful (and totally honest with yourself as well as your partner(s)).
So, if you are contemplating having sex, I really — REALLY — recommend that you figure out how you feel, what you want (outside of the act itself) and if you are prepared for what “not quites” can bring. My mother used to say that the consequences of sex don’t change just because the circumstances do — and there is some solid “wow” to that, if you really stop to think about it.
GiphyAnd finally, f-ck. Although most experts on the word (and yes, there are some) agree that its origin is rooted somewhere within the German language (although some say that it might’ve come from Middle English words like fyke or fike which mean “to move about restlessly” or the Norwegian word fukka which means “to copulate”), you might have also heard that it is an acronym that once stood for “Fornication Under Consent of the King”; and there is actually some data that is connected to that as well.
Legend has it that way back in the day, in order to keep reproduction rates where a particular king wanted them to be, he would instruct his residents to have sex with each other — whether they were married or not (hence, the word “fornication” being in the acronym). However, because sex outside of marriage was taken far more seriously at the time, residents had to apply for a permit to participate so that the king could determine if things like their occupation and lineage would prove to be beneficial for the kingdom overall. F-ck: no love; just necessity. And although some believe this to be more myth than fact, what is certain is it was only over time that f-ck was seen as a profane/swear/cuss word — a word that was perceived to be so offensive, in fact, that between the years 1795-1965, it didn’t even appear in dictionaries.
Personally, when I think of this four-letter word, the first thing that actually comes to my mind is animals. Take a dog being in heat, for instance. That’s basically when a female dog is ovulating and wants to have sex the most. It’s not because they are “in love” with another dog; they are simply doing what instinctively comes to them — and since animals do not reason or feel at the same capacity that humans do, although they science says that many of them do experience pleasure when they engage in their version of sexual activity, it’s not nearly as layered or even profound as what we experience.
Let’s keep going. Another reason why f-cking makes me think of animals is due to the doggy style position. Hear me out. Ain’t it wild how, most of us pretty much know that the term comes from how dogs have sex, even though most animals have sex that same way — and think about it: Doggy style doesn’t consist of making eye contact or kissing while having intercourse. It’s “hitting from behind” without much emotional energy or effort at all. Just how animals do it. And so, yeah, f-cking does seem to be more about pure animal — or in our case, mammal — instinct. I don’t need to feel anything for someone, so long as the sexual desire is there. Hmph.
Something else that I find to be interesting about f-cking is how dictionaries choose to define it. Many of them are going to provide you with two definitions: “to have sexual intercourse with” and “to treat unfairly or harshly (usually followed by over)” and that definitely makes me think of another term — casual sex and words that define casual like apathetic, careless and without serious or definite intention. So, the dictionary says that while f-cking is about having sexual intercourse — just like making love and having sex is — it goes a step further and says that it can include being treated unfairly or harshly.
And although that can make you think of assault on the surface, for sure — sometimes being treated unfairly or harshly is simply feeling like someone had sex AT you and not really WITH you; instinct (i.e., getting off) and that’s about it. Yeah, the way this puzzle is coming together, f-cking seems to be more about lust and self and not much else.
Now That You Know the Difference, What to Keep in Mind
Y’all, this is definitely the kind of topic that I could expound on until each and every cow comes home. That said, here’s hoping that I provided enough perspective on each act to close this out by encouraging you to keep the following three things to keep in mind:
1. Before you engage in copulation, be honest with yourself about what you’re ACTUALLY doing — and that your partner agrees with you. You know, they say that our brain is our biggest sex organ and honestly, breaking down the differences between making love, having sex and f-cking helps to prove that fact. I say that because, although the sex act itself is pretty much the same across the board, you and your partner’s mindset can make the experience completely different. That said, if you think that you are making love and they think y’all are just having sex — stuff can get pretty dicey. Bottom line: communicate in the bedroom before attempting to connect outside of it. It’s always worth it when you do.
2. Yes, you can feel one way and do something else. I can just about guess what some of y’all are on: Shellie, we can love our partner and still just want to f-ck. If what you are saying is you can emotionally love someone and physically lust them and want to act sometimes on the lust without really factoring in the love — yes, I agree. Doggy style continues to be a favorite sex position for people, in general, and I’m more than confident that many of the participants polled are in a serious relationship. However, having lust-filled sex with someone who you know loves you is vastly different than doing it with someone who you have no clue what they think about you or you barely know at all. Y’all, please just make sure that you know…what you should know. Sex is too amazing to have a lot of regret after it.
3. Have realistic expectations about sex. Listen, so much of my life consists of writing and talking about sex that I will be the first one to say that it deserves a ton of props for what it is able to do, in a wonderful way, for people mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet again, I’m not a fan of “make love” because something that feels really good doesn’t always mean that it is good for you. Meaning, you’ve got to be real about what sex with someone will do to your mind and spirit — not just what it will do for your body. An author by the name of Gabriel García Márquez once said, “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.” For no one, should this be a constant norm. Feel me? I hope you do.
____
One act. Three very different experiences.
It’s kind of wild that sex has the ability to create that — and yet, clearly, it does.
Please just make sure that you know which experience you’re signing up for.
So that you’re having sex (you know, in general) instead of sex having you. Real talk.
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