Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
Beyoncé is snatching our wallets yet again with her latest business venture CÉCRED. In 2023, the Texas native hinted at a potential haircare line when she posted this photo causing fans to speculate that her next project would be focused on her famous tresses - they were right. Her haircare line Cécred launched on February 20 with her first drop called The Foundation Collection which focuses on haircare first, and I can only assume that a style product line for colored-treated hair will likely follow since Beyoncé is known for slaying various shades of blonde.
As a super fan since the early 2000s, it was only right that I give an honest review of the full line and purchase the Super Fan Bundle (retailed at $265) which includes the full product line of the 8 products, as well as a branded cosmetic bag. If you’re thinking, “Girl that bundle is too pricey for me,” I can assure you that for the value you're getting, the price is quite reasonable. This bundle was an intentional and marketable way to allow consumers to experience every Cécred product.
The brand messaging surrounding Cécred has been salon-inspired, and rightfully so as an ode to Beyoncé’s upbringing growing up in her mother’s hair salon in Houston. This line is backed by science and licensed cosmetologists showing that she’s done her research and appointed the experts. Cécred's IG feed has been filled with images and videos inside of hair salons including some videos of Ms. Tina herself assisting in the styling of beauty experts who visited Cécred's private salon to have the VIP treatment!
Now, have I seen influencers, consumers, and beauty stylists using the Foundation Collection at home? Yes, but I thought it was best to experience Cécred with my go-to cosmetologist who also happens to be my Auntie Tawana. She has been my educator and go-to for hair knowledge since I was a child and has had a hand in my mom's hair health which has always been goals for me. As a little girl, my Saturdays were spent sitting in her hair salon while my mama got her hair done as I patiently waited reading Jet and ESSENCE, ever so carefully eavesdropping on the conversations of the ladies who were coming for much more than just a beauty routine, but an experience.
I’d fall asleep on the plush couch in the waiting area flipping through magazines while listening to the sultry sounds of Maxwell. And I had my first lesson in breakup empowerment when I heard Sunshine Anderson’s “Heard It All Before.” So there was no other place for me to go than to see her, and because I’m her niece, I was able to visit her private salon in her home that she calls The After Hours where upon arrival I was greeted with my favorite Black-owned sparkling Rosé, candles lit, and my aunt’s breakdown of Cécred.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
But let me refocus and share my salon experience as I tried Cécred for the first time.
If You’re Wondering…Who is Cécred For?
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
When news of Beyoncé potentially launching a beauty brand hit the internet, there were a bunch of predictions of what and who the line would be marketed towards and if she’d have any wig care products as she’s known for slaying her units! But she went in a totally different direction which I love, and I’m going to tell you why. Critics have questioned if Beyoncé should be venturing into the haircare industry because she is often seen in weaves and wigs, but true Beyoncé fans know that she has healthy hair and that, like many Black women, experiments with various styles.
Cécred was created for all hair types and textures, including straight to coily, virgin, color-treated, chemically processed, and heat-styled. As a Black woman who has worn wigs, had chemically processed hair, heat-styled, natural, and color-treated hair, let me tell you, this was no easy feat! The amount of money I’ve spent on my hair through its various changes just on product alone, forget styling has been astronomical.
Cécred is serving the needs of various hair types in textures and I truly believe that this is going to make Beyoncé a true competitor in the hair industry amongst brands that are comparable such as OUAI and Olaplex. Both competitor brands have similar items at a higher price point and unlike Cécred, their products and brand messaging haven’t always felt inclusive to Black women and other hair types.
Cécred has been tested inclusively and the reviews from various hair types and backgrounds of consumers are allowing the brand to stand out.
I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line Cécred: My Honest Review
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
My hair has never felt cleaner and it shined for well over a week following the styling (but the oil should be used sparingly if like me, oil can weigh down your hair.) Immediately when my hair touched the sink, my aunt told me that she saw all the dirt and oils lifting from my hair when she applied the clarifying shampoo. As a girl who loves my curls, I am often judgy when I use any other shampoo and conditioner aside from Pattern, but not this time.
When my aunt guided my hands across my hair, she showed me how my curls weren’t tangled, and how she didn’t need to comb out my curls before applying the moisturizing deep conditioner or the deconstructing treatment mask.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
She applied each step with care and walked me through the process, and to my surprise, the hair mask wasn’t thick - but through trial and error as a natural girl, I’ve learned that a thick mask doesn’t always equal what’s best for your hair. She styled me with a silk press that left my hair with shine and I can honestly say that each step of the line is needed especially if you are someone who changes up your hair and deals with breakage. If your hair is healthy, you can opt out of the reconstructing treatment mask but I recommend taking the product line to your salon, having a discussion with your stylist on where your hair health needs improvement, and then purchasing based on that.
We know ourselves better than anyone else, but your stylist knows your hair better than you do. I like to lead with their knowledge first and then incorporate what my hair goals are. If you’re a girly who’s committed to hair health and has either the discipline to incorporate each step at home or can bring your products to the salon, Cécred is for you no matter if you’re a silk press or a wash-and-go naturalist.
Give Cécred a try, I’ll be using the line for my hair appointments until it runs out and if I see long-term results, it will be added to the beauty regimen indefinitely.
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Featured image courtesy of CÉCRED
I thought my friendships in my thirties would look like an episode of Girlfriendsor Living Single. That we’d be meeting up, getting drinks at a sexy local bar, having dinner together in each other's homes, and taking trips like the Housewives shows we’d watched since we were teenagers. My reality has been the polar opposite of that. My friendships have changed drastically and for a while, I felt like I was on my own.
In my mid-twenties, I started going to therapy, started a business that took off, and I started setting boundaries about how I wanted to be treated as a person. From there some friendships changed drastically, for better and worse. Friends who couldn’t understand or accept the new me were removed, and drifted off, and then there were beautiful changes that put distance between my friends and me. My best friend married and had children young, college friends moved away, job offers took other friends across the country, and I found myself face to face with a form of loneliness that I’d never experienced.
In my thirties, I started asking myself questions about what my friendships would look like, if these changes in dynamics would just be my new normal, or if I would find a new set of girlfriends that I could do life with.
Don’t get me wrong, do my friends call me? Yes. Do they check on me? Yes. Are they cheering the loudest for me with every win? Absolutely, but I also can’t tell you the last time we met up for drinks or if we’ve ever taken the girls' trip we’ve been talking about for the past decade. For some time, I thought perhaps this was the trade-off for choosing a different path, not being able to have friends in this phase of life, or that at some point I’d create a new friend group, and while I pray for the latter, discussions with women who were experiencing similar shifts showed me that we all are no longer relatable in some way to your friends.
Whether you’re the friend who got married early, embarked on a healing journey, started a thriving business, moved away from your small town, or are at a low point in life and can’t relate because you’re the friend struggling - we’re all experiencing some form of a shift in our friendships. Digger deeper into this subject matter with women from all across the country, I’ve discovered that we are not alone and we are all experiencing loneliness and transition.
1.There is a need for friends who get that life is a juggling act.
"I've always been obsessed with the idea of sisterhood. My mom is one of 10 children five boys, five girls so I had a lot of aunts that were around growing up. My mom had the same two best friends since she was like in high school in her early 20s, so I just thought like oh I'm gonna go to college and you know I'm gonna find these lifelong friends. I joined a sorority and other organizations where friendship and companionship was at the helm of that and I think you know fast forward to me graduating college, and starting life as an adult away from a lot of those friendships that I created, I realized adulthood is extremely lonely.
"Navigating friendships in your 20s versus your 30s is like comparing apples and oranges, seriously. In my 20s, it was all about exploration – career, relationships, you name it. We were all on different paths, some searching for love, others for adventure, and a few just figuring out what they wanted. I was right there with them, soaking up every moment of freedom and self-discovery. I don’t think that exploration stops in your 30’s but the tools you need and the paths you need to take are a lot clearer.
"Personally, things shifted fast for me in my 30s. I welcomed a child, got engaged, and suddenly, priorities were rearranged quicker than you can say 'adulting.' Self-awareness kicked in, and I realized I needed friends who were on the same page – willing to grow, heal, and understand the complexities of life. Nowadays, it's all about quality over quantity. I've trimmed down my circle to those who bring joy, understanding, and, most importantly, reciprocity. Yeah, it was tough saying goodbye to some old friends, but it had to be done for my own peace of mind.
"In this crazy world where time is the most precious commodity, I'm all about spending it with those who uplift and support me – friends who get that life's a juggling act and offer grace when needed."
- Leticia Owens, 34, Las Vegas, Nevada
2.There is a maturity that either brings friends together or takes them apart.
"As someone who has traversed most of my thirties now, what I’ve really seen from 30 to almost 38 is the cycling of friendships that can sometimes happen when people have different commitments to their own personal growth. I think some of the friendships that I have chosen to leave behind in my earlier thirties were a result of that person not pulling their weight in the relationship from the perspective of not even seeing how their behavior plays a role in the dynamic and how hurtful it might be.
"Some people come to that at a young age and even in their twenties, but some people take longer. There’s an emotional and relational maturity that either brings people together or brings about separation. Your thirties can bring about a lot of changes to friendships, marriage, children, helping your parents if they’re older and now need assistance financially, all of the other relationships have an impact on our relationships."
- Allie, 38, California
3.There's a knowing that motherhood changes how you maintain and make connections.
"I was a new mother at 21, trying to figure out my relationship, navigate a career, and figure out my life so I had to adjust quickly. In my twenties, I partied hard and at one point with the clothes that I had on the day before to make sure I got dressed up at work. I enjoyed my life and when I decided I was gonna be a mom and wife, I didn’t think about if I was gonna miss this life, it was like time to shift gears. I was clubbing because I was tryna run from shit. I don’t have a life that I have to run from anymore.
"As you start to evolve in your life and then your relationships shift, you wanna still keep the connection but at some point, for different friends, you don’t evolve with them. But at times making new friends is just as hard so you’d rather stay stagnant with the people that are already there. It’s not as easy. Then you’re making friends with moms because your kids want to have playdates so you’re entering into a dynamic with this person for your kids, not because it’s a genuine connection.
"I also think that it’s ironic because the same feelings that your single friends are having about not being able to have fun with you, that feeling of emptiness there is twofold. I’m a mom but I’m a person first. I’m now married with three kids and now my friends are having children too so I’m watching my friends struggle with motherhood and they don’t always come to me for advice. But as they evolve as mothers they have a level of understanding for the shit that I went through.
"Granted I sacrificed to be a young mother, but I was also able to excel in my career and go back to school with the help of my husband. He's an amazing dad and partner and with him, I know I know if I drop the ball, he’s catching it."
- Tania, 31, New Jersey
4.There is a coming into yourself that causes you to release what no longer aligns.
"Friendships change because you begin to come into yourself. You begin to understand that you're an individual that has your own needs, values, likes, wants, etc. and those friendships that were cultivated in high school and college are often no longer aligned with who you want to be. And unfortunately what happens is that we start to break away from the old versions of ourselves and what the people who love us expected us to be.
"My relationships started to change when I stopped pleasing people and I asked myself if was I still friends with this person based on the length of time that we’ve been friends, rather than was this person in alignment with what I wanted out of life."
- Brittany, 31, New York City
5.There is a need for more grace as you grow and evolve.
"We don’t extend enough grace to our friends and I feel we need to remember to. Sometimes we extend more grace to a toxic person we are 'dating' than the friend who is there to pick the pieces up after that person exits stage left. It has been great for me thus far and that’s only because my friends and I respect each other and I mean respect where we are in life i.e. marriage, kids careers, etc, and respect that our time and what we dedicate our time to may not always be to each other physically but we show up mentally and spiritually through prayer and sometimes FaceTime or phone calls.
'If you are expecting your friendships to be the same [as] they were when you were in your 20s or teenagers it shows that you're not pushing each other to grow and evolve."
- Dasia Brown, 34, New Jersey
6.There is a change in how and when you connect due to availability and changes in priorities.
"Just this weekend I shared a post that said I am not the club friend anymore I am the spa friend, the brunch friend, the travel friend. Overall I know that part of friendships is connecting on social outings and when those no longer align if there isn’t real substance to the friendship it can start to fade. Another thing is how in our 30s, life starts really life-ing and our availability and priorities change, making it a little more challenging in how and when we connect.
"I’m grateful for friends who give each other grace but [I] will add [that] my immediate friend group no one is a mom yet. My mom friends are way more limited and it’s understandable but I’ve noticed the change from once becoming a mom and how things become one-sided in willingness to understand their needs. I think the solid friends try their best to show up or at least be fully present in the 15 minutes they do have to spare."
- Delila, 37, New York City
7.There is less hanging out and the concept of what makes a good friend shifts.
"Friendships change in your thirties for many reasons. Priorities, time, money, comparing lives, extremely different lifestyles. I’m a great friend so all mine love me… but I’m also not hanging out like I did 5-10 years ago."
- Destiny, 35, Delaware
8.There are challenges when no one is on the same journey at the same time.
"One of the biggest challenges is when people are settling into their careers, getting married, having kids, and no one is going to be on the same journey at the same time. You might have a friend that’s already married with kids, and you might be career-driven and single. You want to go out to happy hour and your friend with kids gotta see if your friend with the husband and the kids is available.
"In that same vein, that friend might also have mom friends that want to go on playdates and are more available to hang out with each other because they are able to do stuff together with the kids, but if you’re on two different paths it’s definitely a challenge."
- Quadira, 30, New Jersey
9.There is a release of friendships that might be holding you back.
"Based on my personal experience the lives of friends - Black women; either verge or diverge based on a major event. For example, your bestie becomes a teen mom in college, someone’s career takes off drastically compared to the others, someone couples or marries younger, or someone adopts a new faith or becomes stronger in their faith. Someone starts to heal generational trauma via therapy. A friend picks up an alcohol or drug abuse problem. Someone suffers a profound loss. I mean the list goes on. And depending on where each friend is in their life those things can make or break a friendship.
"You may even stray and try to come back and strengthen the bond but ultimately what happens to us is often a feeling of 'this happened to me and such and such wasn’t even there forreal.' Or after you/they have a major event see some unhealthy traits that have always existed and you ignored for the sake of friendship but where you are going in life won’t allow you to ignore it any longer.
"I just turned 38 and about 3/4 years ago I had a nagging feeling that it was time to shed a 20-plus-year friendship. I avoided it so long, we fell out twice in a huge way and I, being avoidant, put off the difficult conversation and ignored so much until I couldn’t. We were like sisters and the aftermath was much more than I could have expected but I’ve never felt lighter and more free and I think in your thirties you realize time is of the essence and the things you’ve accepted no longer suit you. Initially, we think of romantic relationships but sometimes it’s the platonic friendship that is what’s holding you back."
- Sydney, 38, Ohio
10.There is a realization that no investment to the friendship is too big or too small.
"I think friendships and relationships change in our thirties because most of us enter an elevated era of prioritization and a different style of communication. This is especially true if you have a partner. Even more so with children. Marriage is an investment. Children are an investment. Friendships are too and it’s easier to invest into people who get that sometimes you can only deposit a penny… sometimes you might be in the red and other times it’s emotional payday. So you hang out with more moms or parents. More married friends, etc.
"Your single friends also stop checking in as much and inviting you places. So you feel like you can relate less, as I’m sure they feel the same. You can’t communicate as often and at length because of work or family or life. And not everyone gets that. As your life evolves, your expectations change, and what you’re able to give changes too. When friends are in different places, they can’t always understand those changes and those relationships become unsustainable. There are so many things, but mostly life happens."
- Denisse, 34, Mississippi
11.There is a hyperfocus on family, career, and love.
"I think the dynamics do change even before you hit 30. I would say late 20s, even maybe early if people went through anything like I did with my friend group from high school. Think about it: we are trying to navigate what we want to do with our lives concerning career, and love, and discover who we are, and what God put us on this Earth for, and a lot of us really aren’t taught what friendships look like as adults because some of our parents don’t have friends who come over all the time, who feel like a part of the community.
"It’s a hyper-focus on family and career and love. School doesn’t help either cause nothing really prepares you for how you nurture friendships long distance, what happens when you realize you and a friend are no longer aligned (they were a season vs. forever), or envy jumps out when you start doing what they perceive as better than some of them."
- Cydney, 33, North Carolina
12.There is a change in how you prioritize friendships that is dictated by major life shifts.
"I’m like one of the last in my friend group in Copenhagen to have kids - and I feel like that just shifted so much for us/our group when everybody started having kids. More difficult to make plans, weekends are very different. But now that I have Naya [my child] it obviously makes sense.
"I feel like there is just so much that’s shifting in our thirties, whether career, serious boyfriends or marriage, kids, moving out of town, etc. Like life gets serious somehow lol and it’s challenging to prioritize your friendships in the same way you could in your twenties! I have a girlfriend back home who used to live just a block away and we’d always like go grocery shopping together and watch movies in bed and have sleepovers etc, and I honestly miss that so much."
- Caroline, 33, Denmark
13.There is acceptance that everyone can't maintain a long-distance friendship.
"For me, one friendship dynamic changed by me moving and the person I was tight with was unable to support a long-distance friendship. It went from twice a week at least two hours of calls to 10-minute check-ins every few weeks."
- Januarie, 34, Michigan
14.There is a tendency for hesitation when making new friends.
"I experienced a friendship breakup when I turned 30 after 12 years. It has caused me to be hesitant with making new friends and categorize people for being in my life for specific reasons instead of being 'deep connections' kind of friend."
- Kiara, 33, Ohio
15.There is knowledge that friendships are inconvenient and that the right friends will show up and show out for you.
"As a disclaimer, I’m antisocial. In my thirties I’ve noticed I’ve changed some random hard rules I’ve always had for the sake of maintaining my friendships. I’ve been taking more trips, I’ve been driving distances of up to two hours to grab lunch if they’re near. Like a light randomly clicked like these people are very important to me my silly 'boundaries' will cause more harm than good. I can look up and we’re so distant or I’m attending a funeral. Like if nothing is physically stopping me from showing up then it’s up!
"Also, I have realized and been practicing the appreciation aspect for them. I’m a married mom of two. The people have taken planes and trains to celebrate me. Their accomplishments aren’t always marriage and kids and I'm gonna appreciate it too even if they don’t make a big deal of it."
- Lala, 31, New York City
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It's no secret that the dating scene is different from our parents' generation, so as a hopeful romantic, many parts of me feel like I was born in the wrong lifetime. My mother often says that she feels like my husband will be a bit older than me; perhaps that was her way of telling me that she hopes I find someone more mature. But these days, between the countless podcasts debating gender roles and discussions online of who brings what to the table, finding your person can feel hopeless.
Still, people are finding love every day, so how can we go from being amongst the brokenhearted and nonbelievers? How can we get to the meat of what our needs truly are to find the love we've been searching for? Beverley Andre, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist says that the key is getting out of your own way.
Q: How can we get in our own way when it comes to relationships?
A: We get in our own way in relationships by having rigid expectations that make it difficult or impossible for someone to meet. I know this is a hot topic regarding having and maintaining standards, but there’s a fine line between reasonable expectations and creating a barrier that is nearly impossible to break through.
You have to assess the standards and see if they are genuinely in protection of you and maintain the standard of how you want to be treated, or are the standards fueled by fear and what you're really trying to do is avoid feeling hurt and disappointed, so you create this cycle where you set impossible standards that no one can meet, therefore limiting the possibility of close intimate relationships, leaving you feeling lonely and frustrated.
Q: In this dating age and era, how can we determine what our needs are versus our wants?
A: Your needs are tied to the core values and belief systems, while the wants are personality and lifestyle considerations, so I recommend creating a list of both. Identify your core values early on because those are your principles and qualities that matter most to you in a relationship. Those values are fundamental to your overall well-being. For example, do you want to be with someone who wants children, has integrity, and aligns on finances? Your values should be your deal-breakers that weed out people who are not in alignment.
For wants, think of physical, personality, and lifestyle traits that aren’t necessarily deal-breakers, aren’t tied to someone’s core traits, and don’t compromise your mental wellness. For instance, enjoying 100% of the same interests, specific physical attributes, and shared cultural background. As an extra measure, I recommend discussing your needs and wants with a trusted inner circle and getting their feedback. An inner circle should give you fair feedback instead of just agreeing with it because they’re within the inner circle.
"Your needs are tied to the core values and belief systems, while the wants are personality and lifestyle considerations."
Q: Are there fundamental needs that everyone should have or has on some level in romantic partnerships?
A: Yes, to be seen and heard. No one wants to be in a romantic partnership where they feel invisible, and their needs are met with consistent resistance just because it’s different from their partner. One of the core issues I see with couples is their inability to make space for their partner’s voice and influence. They find it difficult to see the value in what their partner is saying, especially if it contradicts their thoughts and opinions. Therefore, they register it as not being good enough and lacking merit and then get into a cycle where they inadvertently want their partner to change their minds and prove to them why they have a point.
Q: What are different examples of needs that everyone has?
A: Respect, open communication, similar values, sexual chemistry, and feeling safe emotionally and physically.
Q: How can we get to the meat of what our needs are so we can in turn get better at communicating what our needs are from an empowered place versus a disempowered one?
A: Identify your unmet childhood needs and heal them. I often see people trying to heal these wounds in relationships with people who aren’t responsible for creating them or fixing them. You can communicate your needs from an empowered and healthy place if you’re not starving. Getting to the meat of your needs will require self-exploration, curiosity, and patience to understand why the need is even a need.
"Identify your unmet childhood needs and heal them. You can communicate your needs from an empowered and healthy place if you’re not starving."
Q: What do you find your clients who are succeeding in relationships have done differently in explaining their needs to their partner?
A: They have done the self-work and healing to know their needs through individual and/or couple’s therapy. Most of the clients I’ve worked with never had the space to develop their thoughts around their needs. They’ve adopted their needs based on what they’ve seen in their personal lives from family growing up, movies, and now social media. Until you have a healthy relationship with yourself, where you’ve identified your needs and are meeting them, it isn’t easy to have that with someone else. You can’t communicate and give what you don’t know and have.
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I'm a wellness founder who currently has no therapist. Now, don't judge me; I'm being vulnerable with you.
A few years back, I felt like my life was shifting and that I wanted to find a new therapist to help me get to the root of what I was experiencing but didn't exactly have the language for it. Almost a decade ago, I was a depressed, socially anxious Black girl in an abusive relationship with practically no friends in college. Fast-forward to now and I'm a grown woman thriving and the founder of one of the largest wellness organizations for Black women.
The shy girl I once was (and still am at times, if I'm being honest) has now led meditations at Coachella, worked with Taraji P. Henson's brand, and produced her own content on mental health and Black women's healing with Foot Locker Women! But can I tell you that deep down, there are days when I still felt like that girl who thought she was broken and unloved?
That realization made me angry; I felt like I had done so much self-work and work in therapy that feeling like that girl again as a grown-ass woman made no sense.
It felt like I was going backward, and I didn't understand why, so I figured the best thing to do was discuss this in therapy. After switching insurance, I was on the search for a new therapist, and I specified to her what I was experiencing and asked if we could work through it together. She seemed kind and supportive, and she was a Black woman, something I wanted in this next chapter of therapy and womanhood as I started therapy in my early twenties and I was now approaching my thirties.
A few weeks into our sessions, she flat-out asked me, "Why are you here?" She couldn't understand why someone as successful as me needed therapy and said to me multiple times during the sessions to follow in so many words, "You don't need to be there, I think you're fine."
Yvonne Orji Therapy GIF by Insecure on HBOGiphy
Her words immediately triggered me because I felt like it was her way of saying as a Black woman, seeing me doing well made her wonder why I needed this support. I left and never went back following that session.
That was almost two years ago. There have been times when I wanted to go back, but I'd tensed up at the thought given the traumatic experience, life will always send us experiences the way that challenge us, and I don't think that never returning to therapy is the answer. Before I even began searching for a new therapist, I processed my sessions with the former therapist and, as best as I could, sent empathy her way.
We can often think that our therapists are going to be perfect and not misstep, but they're human and flawed just as we are. Whether we admit it or not, we all walk have our own biases and ways that we see the world. Perhaps she looked at me and thought, This woman is thriving; what problems could she have? She could have gone through life with no one supporting her once she began to succeed.
As I go back into therapy, I've sat with myself, and I feel confident enough to express myself again and share what I need from them in this season as I interview new therapists. There are many articles to support how to find a therapist, but I want to support you if you're heading back to therapy after taking a much-needed break.
Figure Out Your "Why"
You want to know why you're going back and ask yourself if there is something you may need from therapy now that you didn't need before. Your needs could be the same, but as time goes by, we change along with our needs. It helps to prepare a script as you approach therapists to share, for example: "Hi, my name is ______, and I'm looking for support in ______ in therapy at this point of my life."
Be Patient
In this post-pandemic era, Black therapists and therapists overall are overwhelmed and overworked. I can't even begin to tell you how many therapists I know personally that have stopped seeing clients due to burnout. You might not find the therapist you're looking for overnight, and you could very well be scrolling through potential therapists, getting excited at the idea of a conversation with them, and then discovering they are no longer accepting new clients. Do not be discouraged; your therapist is out there.
Don't Be Afraid To Be Vulnerable
I like to look at therapy in many ways like I look at love. And what I mean by that is much like dating; you are not going to get the experience you're looking for without vulnerability. I challenge you to be transparent with your therapist, they will only be able to help you get to the root of what you need support with if they get to know who you really are, and what you need.
I am rooting for you as you head back to therapy. Know that I am supporting you and cheering you on from the sidelines as we go back and do this healing work together.
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In January, it was announced that feminine-care brand The Honey Pot was acquired by Compass Diversified for $380 million. Black women expressed outrage with commentary on why Black founders “sell out” and stressed their concerns about The Honey Pot changing their ingredients, similar to their outrage when their products went from being listed as "Black-owned" to "Black-founded" in 2022.
As a founder myself, I understand the importance of scaling your business. Scaling leads to opportunity and expansion for your brand, something that The Honey Pot is doing to change the landscape of vaginal wellness for all women.
Years before the acquisition, I was a supporter of the brand. When I first learned of their products in 2017, I was eager to try them as a Black woman searching for Black-owned feminine products. At the time, I just embarked on a wellness journey, and that meant not just physical and emotional wellness, but vaginal wellness also. The dangers of the toxic chemicals often found in feminine care products weren’t discussed when I was growing up.
Now, we live in a world with organic pads, tampons, feminine wash, and even plant-based feminine care. Women are now realizing how sacred our menstruation time is and that the products that we use can either help or hurt us during that time of the month.
My vaginal wellness journey was rooted in a quest for healing. After a relationship where I experienced infidelity, I had issues with my pH levels for over a year. I’d never felt so disconnected from my body and ashamed that I didn’t know why; I was determined to figure out a way to heal from the inside out. After learning that the founder started The Honey Pot after suffering from bacterial vaginosis for eight months, I was intrigued. On the back of the feminine wash, she shared how her ancestors came to her in a dream and gifted her with a vision to heal herself and now others, including me.
My first two purchases from the brand were their organic pantyliners (a product many women who already supported the brand recommended) with mint and sensitive feminine wash. If I’m being honest, I didn’t like the liners; with already having a sensitive vagina, the mint didn’t feel as soothing as I thought it would, but I was sold on the sensitive feminine wash. Almost immediately, I saw a change in my pH balance and sensitivity, and from there, I was hooked.
From there, I started discussing the importance of plant-based care with my mother and my family members. My approach to the idea of vaginal wellness started gentle, and then I started asking and not telling, removing the products that we’d all used previously out of the homes of my mother, godsister, and close friends, and when they’d call and ask me, “What happened to my other products?” I’d remind them of the importance of giving our vaginas the care they deserve. Eventually, they caught on and became supporters themselves, and now when I visit my mother, she has The Honey Pot products in her bathroom that I’ve never even tried myself.
Recently, I was running low on my feminine products, and as I placed an order to have what I needed to be delivered, to my surprise, I discovered The Honey Pot had expanded their product line quite a bit and now had not only intimacy products but also additional feminine washes and supplements that I now use daily.
Check out some of the newest additions to their product line below:
Yeast Balance Vaginal Health Supplement
For overall vagina wellness, this supplement is formulated to target balanced candida yeast and support the maintenance of healthy vaginal flora.
Boric Acid & Herbs Suppositories
Does your pH feel off? Reduce odor and help maintain a healthy vaginal pH range with this 7-Day Boric Acid & Herbs Suppositories from The Honey Pot.
Relief Ritual
If you feel an itch, consider The Honey Pot Relief Ritual, which includes Anti-Itch Soothing Wipes that provide immediate, soothing relief using plant-derived ingredients and medicinal compounds without compromising your vaginal ecosystem, while their Soothing Wash and Soothing Lavender Vulva creams are ultra-mild solutions for vulvar itching and discomfort.
Vaginal Care Probiotic with Urinary Tract Support
Swap out your daily probiotic with this probiotic with urinary support formulated with 4-Lacto strains and 10 billion CFUs per capsule that support good bacteria, along with cranberry and pomegranate for optimal urinary tract support.
Urinary Track Support Vaginal Health Supplement
Goodbye cranberry juice, hello supplements. With its science-backed, clinically-tested ingredients, bad bacteria will be kept at bay. And the fact that you can pair this daily staple with The Honey Pot wipes and washes? Your urinary tract will thank you later.
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Featured image by Daniel de la Hoz/Getty Images
Why Reesa Teesa's "Who TF Did I Marry?" Saga Is A Cautionary Tale To Single Women Everywhere
Unless you’re living under a rock, by now you’ve heard of Ressa Teesa and her viral TikTok saga "Who TF Did I Marry?!?" My first learning of Ressa Teesa came over this past weekend. I was walking my dog and on my For You feed I came across a popular TikTok account giving commentary on a series called "Who TF Did I Marry!?!" I thought to myself, “What story is this and why is it coming across my feed? Is this some new series on Netflix that I missed?”
Lo and behold it was a 50-part series on TikTok that very well needs to be made into a series about a woman named Reesa Tessa and her story on how she ended up marrying "Legion" whom she calls a pathological liar, how she got away, and shares this cautionary tale and captures the attention of millions of people while doing so.
Who TF Did I Marry, a Cautionary Tale
@reesamteesa Who TF Did I Marry- Introduction #reesateesa #fyp #series
The Backstory
It’s 2020. Reesa Tessa is living in Atlanta and dating online and comes across Facebook Dating - red flag number one because the men I’ve come across on Facebook, honey, run and run fast! But she connects with a man who for the purpose of the story she calls "Legion." In their first phone call, he tells her that he’s a former arena football player who’s moved to Atlanta post-divorce to start over and he asks to take her to dinner. In route to meeting him at The Cheesecake Factory, her tire blows out. Teesa in hindsight realizes this is a sign from God but instead of canceling the date, she calls Legion and he saves the day, shows up to fix her tire, buys a new one, and still takes her on a date.
The first date if you ask me had love bombing on the menu - but again I am not here to judge my good sis. I am just a messenger who did the Lord’s work by watching all 52 parts to recap so you don’t have to. During dinner, he tells Reesa that he wants to be married, have children, and he’s ready to get out of these streets. He’s killing her softly with his words and she feels like she’s finally met the one. This is where things speed up for the worse. COVID lockdown starts and y’all know what they say about pandemic love, it was moving fast honey!
Legion moves into Reesa’s home because he only has a studio apartment despite going on and on about how much money he has. Speaking of money, he appears to be a good man, Savannah. He’s paying all the bills due to a new job where he’s a VP at a condiment company. He is also family-oriented, something they share in common, and he talks to his brother daily. He’s promising our girl Reesa Teesa that he will not only provide, but he will buy them a home, take her to London, get her a luxury vehicle and, in the words of the late great Whitney Houston, be all the man she needs.
She finally has the soft life Black women online have been talking about, she feels like she has the man she’s prayed for. But life comes at them fast and the cracks in the relationship begin to show.
When the "Man of My Dreams" Turns Into "Who TF Did I Marry?"
me when I got to Part 40 of the Who TF Did I Marry series on TikTok: pic.twitter.com/uRjAI9MOdf
— Ron (@ronthacreator) February 18, 2024
A few months in, Reesa gets pregnant and Legion appears to be ecstatic although Reesa, who has grown up with a religious upbringing, didn’t feel confident in being pregnant and living with a man that she wasn't married to. Legion tries to assure Reesa that they will be fine and that he is approved for a $699,000 home and will buy her a house. They begin touring houses too many things are not adding up. He has all this money but he’s living in a studio apartment. He wants to buy her a home but every home they tour when asked for proof of funds he puts up a fight and refuses to show it.
Reesa unfortunately miscarries but is relieved to some extent and discovers that Legion has been lying about the house-hunting process. Determined to see it through, they get married and there is peace in their world for all of two weeks and then all hell starts to break loose. They stop having sex, he starts lying (even more) and she doesn’t know what happened, but she knows something is wrong and wants to get to the bottom of it. Reesa realizes that the lies are not adding up as they’ve toured house after house.
After a conversation with a real estate agent who can sense that something is up and a job application Reesa fills out to go after a new position, she realizes her husband has given her a fake identity. She needs his social security number in order to apply for the job and after some research, she discovers he not only has never been a VP, he has no contact with his family and has not spoken to anyone in years, and he has a criminal record.
She also discovers how many lies he has told. He told her he had only been married once, but found an additional former marriage he kept from her. He told her he lived in California at a point, but never did. He told her he had siblings that never existed, he told her his grandmother died in 2020 but died in 2008, and the brother he spoke to daily did not exist, this man was diabolical. Does she get all the answers she was looking for when she learns the truth? No, but she does discover that Legion is nowhere near a VP but his twin brother in fact is a successful VP who drives a luxury car and lives the life he always dreamed of.
Not only has Legion lied about communion with his family, but she discovers that he has no job, never played football, never lived in California. In the end, Reesa is eventually able to move out of their home, have Legion arrested, get divorced, and start a new life.
The Takeaway
If you’ve watched the series you might have asked yourself multiple times, girl, what TF were you thinking? But there was a moment where Reesa said, “I just thought it was finally my turn” and I realized that Reesa, while she did not fact-check absolutely anything, yearned for love just like many single women. Over 48% of Black women in the United States are unmarried, Reesa Teesa was one of them and she thought this was her chance to leave the single life for good. Did she move too fast? Yes. Did she not she think clearly? Yes. But ask yourself for a moment can you understand that she thought she’d met a man who was the answer to her prayers not knowing he was the narcissist of her nightmares?
One of the main things that you can take from this story is that if something does not feel right, investigate IMMEDIATELY. Keep the people close to you updated when you meet someone new and if the relationship doesn't feel right, leave at the first red flag. Don’t wait for the second, third, or tenth flag - leave at the moment you realize something is off. And lastly, pour into yourself. In a world where we now have women saying healing is a waste of time and you shouldn't take time to learn to love yourself, this is why you need to do the work.
When you learn to love yourself and heal, you tolerate less. You invest in yourself more, and you become a version of yourself that you could have never dreamed of.
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