I've got a girlfriend who is currently serving as her mom's caregiver. When she started, her mom was in her early 90s. Now she's 96, I believe. Anyway, because of our schedules, it's easier for us to get a chat in during the morning hours before her mother wakes up. This means that, sometimes, I am on the phone when her mom calls for her and boy—those first 5-10 minutes are critical. What I mean by that is, little things like my friend's tone of voice or what's on her mom's television screen can determine if her mother is going to have a really good day or a pretty sucky one.
All things work together, right? The pattern of watching how my friend's mom's morning routine affects her mood has taught me to be more sensitive to how I start my day as well. Before doing anything else, oftentimes what I will do is stay in bed, take deep breaths, and ask myself a few questions—ones like the ones I'm about to share with you in just a sec. More times than not, when I ask certain ones and thoughtfully provide my answers, my day ends up going great. I think it's mostly because it helps me to start the day with intention and clarity. That way, I run the day instead of it running me. Feel me?
If you want to try this lil' exercise, just to see if it can get you off on the right foot, here are six questions that have helped me to approach my days with a half-glass-full perspective.
1. “What was the ‘high’ and ‘low’ from yesterday? What can I learn from both?”
Some of y'all might remember the movieThe Story of Us (Bruce Willis, Michelle Pfeiffer) from back in the day. One of the scenes that I liked so much that I incorporated it into my own life was how, at dinner time, everyone in the family would discuss their high (the best thing that happened) and low (the worst thing that happened) throughout their day. In fact, this is something that I also typically start my counseling sessions with too. Not only is it a good way to keep life in perspective (nothing is ever all good or totally bad), it's also a good way to determine what you learned from the best and worst moments of the day. When you take a moment to reflect on your "high", it can help you to figure out what you can do to duplicate that experience. When it comes to your "low", you can determine what steps you need to take in order to avoid a repeat performance.
2. “What can I accomplish today that I never have before?”
Believe it or not, the word "bored" is one of my absolute favorites. Why? Because within the definition lies the solution to having a boredom problem. To be bored is to be "weary by dullness, tedious repetition, unwelcome attentions, etc." When something is dull, it is uninteresting. When something is tedious, it's monotonous. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you know what unwelcome attentions are all about. If a part of what keeps you from having as many great days as you would like is because you feel like a hamster who's running endlessly on the wheel of life, something that you can do to break out of that is to try something new. It can be as simple as taking a different route to work or going to a new restaurant for lunch. Or, how about hopping onto a website like Skillshare to take a photography or graphic design class, or reaching out to a person who can help you to start a new business? Maybe it's trying a new color of nail polish or finally getting that new haircut that you've been eyeing.
Something that is dope about the start of each day is it comes with a freshness that beckons us to attempt something that we never have before. It's a clear reminder that if your life feels a little ho-hum, it usually has less to do with your circumstances and more to do with your choices. Why not make it a goal to do something new every day and see how that decision makes you feel?
3. “Whose life can I make better?”
Maybe one day I'll get into how, if "being happy" is your biggest goal in life, that actually could end up costing you in the long run. Yeah, that might sound weird on the surface, but even the famed poet Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well"; one way to live well is to do something for someone else. There is a Scripture in the Bible that says, "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35) and I promise you, the days when I have made it a point and purpose to bless someone in some way, those are the days when I've had the most joy and peace. No matter what is—or isn't—going on in your world right now, if you take a moment to get the focus off of you and put it on someone else, it has a remarkable way of putting a smile on your face…and theirs.
4. “What do I bring to the table in a way that no one else can?”
Someone who I've been a fan of, ever since I saw her in the movieLovely & Amazing, is actor Raven Goodwin. Whether it's the series Being Mary Jane, the movie Christmas Belles or the upcoming biopic,The Clark Sisters: First Ladies of Gospel (peep some of the singing here), I've enjoyed watching her evolution as an actor and also the confidence she portrays as a woman; specifically a Black woman. She challenges the myth that skin tone or size can prevent someone from totally glowing up. For me, that's a great reminder that individuality, along with poise, self-awareness and self-assurance can cause you to make a real impact in any room that you walk into.
When you wake up every morning and declare to your own damn self that you are special, relevant, and very necessary, for such a time as this, it can give you the courage and boldness that you need to obtain whatever it is that you desire. And when you know that the world truly is yours, how can you not feel great about the day that is before you?
5. “Does my life look like how it actually feels?”
I must admit that when I first read about Instagram now providing a "false image" warning on the photoshopped images that appear on the platform, the first thing I did was chuckle. It really is kind of crazy how used we've gotten so used to seeing things through a filter that we freak out at the mere thought of seeing them as they truly are. But that sermon is for another day. The reason why I think it's relevant to this particular point is that it's a reminder to remember how important it is to live your actual life with realness and authenticity. You have no idea how many rich and famous people are depressed, right at this very moment, and it's basically because the life you read about is not the life they are actually living—or feeling.
Facades have destroyed many people. One way to ensure that you will have the kind of day that you truly can feel good about is to promise yourself that you will be honest with yourself, that you will speak the truth to others, and that you will be genuine in all that you do. When you can end the day knowing that you can feel good about how your life appears, because you are showing your actual self, that is a kind of high that is truly hard to beat.
6. “What am I going to do to treat myself at the end of the day?”
It happens to the best of us. "It" being how sometimes, we wake up and we already know that the day ahead of us is gonna be an unavoidable trip. It might be due to a staff meeting, a big project, a presentation, a certain conversation that we need to have or some other type of stressor. Even when you know that you are gonna be tried and tested, you can still have a great day. All you need to do is give yourself something to look forward to—a bottle of wine, a mani/pedi, a long soak in the bath…something that can keep you smiling, no matter what life shoots at you throughout the day.
Personally, I think that since no two days are alike, this means that every day, I deserve to treat myself. It doesn't always have to be something big. Just something that reminds me to pat myself on the back for a job well done. What are you gonna do for yourself today, sis? For surviving it, I can already assure you that you've totally earned it.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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After Decades-Long Career, Terri J. Vaughn Is Finally The Main Character: Exclusive
Terri J. Vaughn first captured our attention in the late ‘90s as Lovita Alizay Jenkins on The Steve Harvey Show. Decades later, she is starring in her very own series, She The People, which is now available to stream on Netflix.
The political sitcom, which she co-created with Niya Palmer and later teamed up with Tyler Perry Studios, is about a Black woman named Antoinette Dunkerson who runs for lieutenant governor of Mississippi. She wins and becomes the state’s first Black lieutenant governor. Now, she’s forced to balance working with a racist and sexist governor while also trying to keep her family from running amok.
According to the beloved actress, this project was a long time coming. “I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff,” she says in an exclusive interview with xoNecole.
“But just keep going, because this is what I do. This is what I love, and I know how important it is for us to continue to show up and make sure that we are seen, make sure that our voices are heard. For several reasons. I just never give up. So here I am, 20 years later, finally sold my show.”
She The People is inspired by the true story of London Breed, who became the first Black female mayor of San Francisco, Terri’s hometown. And to help make the show more authentic, the Cherish the Day actress tapped former Atlanta mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms to come on as a producer.'“I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff."
After bringing the former mayor aboard, it was time to pitch again. And this time, the companies were pitching them. Ultimately, Terri decided to work with Tyler Perry on the series.
“We decided to do it with Tyler for several reasons. I love that. Well, most of the companies we met with were Black-owned companies, but he was the only studio,” she explains. “Tyler is like Walt Disney. That's literally what he is. He has the studio, he has the content. He operates just like Walt Disney.”
And thanks to the cast, the show is nothing short of laughs. The series also stars social media creator Jade Novah as Antoinette’s crazy cousin/ assistant, Shamika, Family Mattersstar Jo Marie Payton as Anotinette’s mom, Cleo, and Terri’s husband, Karon Riley, who plays Michael, her driver and love interest.
While we’ve watched Terri’s career blossom in various ways. From directing to producing, and playing diverse characters, the mom of two says her The Steve Harvey Show character will always be her favorite.
“Well, Lovita was definitely my favorite, especially for my time, the age and everything that I was. Now as a grown ass woman over 50, Antoinette Dunkerson is everything that I've wanted to play. She's everything. She's a mother of two teenagers. She's divorced, so she's co-parenting with her ex-husband. She has to wrangle in a very eclectic family,” she says.
“So I like playing characters that are really flawed and trying to figure it out and doing their best to try to figure it. And she's very flawed and she is trying to figure it out, and she fucks up sometimes. But her heart and what she's trying to do and what her vision is and purpose, it's all for the people. I mean, she the people. She’s for the people, she is the people.”
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