![Quantcast](http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-GS-HF4BKvzCmv.gif)
![The Power Of Intention Landed This TV Exec The Life Of Her Dreams](https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMTk5MTQ1MS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTczNTg3NDUwNn0.9aiBDZXtk8-t3b78EyWYVkI9MyXCTq0O3oaFEqQfTNs/img.jpg?width=1200&height=600&quality=90&coordinates=0%2C1459%2C0%2C2381)
The Power Of Intention Landed This TV Exec The Life Of Her Dreams
We all have heard about the power of visualization and manifestation, sometimes in the form of vision boards, journaling, prayer or a combo of the three, but it doesn't become real until we—as human beings with the need to survive and thrive—see tangible results.
For Felicia Joseph, Vice President of Casting at NBCUniversal Cable Entertainment, the power is definitely real, and she has receipts. She has made it all the way up from intern to assistant to an executive wearing several hats, working on hit shows like Queen of the South, and embracing both the creative and business sides of entertainment.
Ashley Nguyen
"I grew up going to church, so faith has always been really big in my life and in my family's life," she told xoNecole in an exclusive interview. "I'm really big on setting goals and affirming things for myself. I try to recalibrate and check-in with myself and lately, I've been able to do it on my birthday every year. Instead of New Year's Resolutions, I usually will set goals around my birthday and check-in with myself on finances, on my mental state, on my health, on love—on all of those kinds of things. It has helped me continue to see the good and [keep track of] what's happening in my life."
The Hampton University graduate has set intentions through manifestation and prayer and has enjoyed a fulfilling career ever since. As a college student, she studied business management and was almost tempted to switch to mass communications to feed her creative side. After advisement from her father and a strong weighing of pros and cons, she decided to continue learning the nuances of business and nurture diverse creative aspirations through internships in the entertainment industry, which ultimately allowed her to move through the trial-and-error journey during her undergrad and postgrad experiences more seamlessly. "Being able to really map out my destiny—my goals and dreams in a smarter way—I feel like I was more in control of it," she recalls. "I think it really helped me. By being deliberate, I didn't look [at life] like it's happening to me. I looked at it as I can create [my future] and I feel like I've done that in most areas of my life, if not all."
"Being able to really map out my destiny—my goals and dreams in a smarter way—I feel like I was more in control of it. I think it really helped me. By being deliberate, I didn't look [at life] like it's happening to me. I looked at it as I can create [my future] and I feel like I've done that in most areas of my life, if not all."
Taking the time to consider all aspects of a decision as well as aligning skills with aspirations in a way that lead to action helped Joseph forge a path toward the knowledge and training that was required to create the life and career she wanted.
Early in her career, she had a desire to produce but she also wanted financial stability and more job security. She ended up landing internships at companies including MGM, and knew she wanted to work for a major studio or network.
Ashley Nguyen
"I thought if I have to go work for somebody, I want to work for someone who I can learn from, someone I respect, and someone who is going to help groom me into the executive that I see myself becoming. I needed someone who's going to be supportive of my growth. I wanted to be at a company where, not only could I grow, but also add value so that my strengths matched up with the opportunity and I could really add value where I was going. I wrote that down in an email to myself and it was called 'My Next Career Adventure.'"
She got just what she desired after that thoughtful and intentional email, gaining the opportunity of a lifetime in TV entertainment. She told xoNecole, "I was fortunate enough to have a really close friend whose sister was the VP of casting at ABC at the time, and she was looking for an assistant. I just learned about [casting] from there. I knew I wanted to do something more creative and I knew if I was going to go produce at the time, I would have to be a freelancer. I just didn't think I was ready for that. I didn't know what in-house casting really was until I kind of really got into it and then, you know, just fell in love with it."
Joseph got a chance to learn more about what's involved in choosing actors for a show, ensuring fiscal success and handling budgets, and serving as a liaison between departments that keep TV shows going. Turns out, the purposeful decision she made back in college was a good one.
"Having a business background and acumen really helped prepare me for my current role. For example, I'm really good at Excel spreadsheets—I kind of nerd-out over those things—and I really do love finding ways to save money and organize the money we're spending. I like that I don't have to always rely on other departments to tell me certain things, and I know our bottom line. Going through B-school helped with that because one of my classes might've been statistics and I was kind of introduced [to how to effectively use] Excel—how to use the formulas and all that kind of stuff."
Fast-forward to becoming a mother and wife: Joseph relied on the power of positive thinking, deliberate intention and manifestation yet again. In spite of the typical pressures placed on women—especially when they've reached their 30s—she confidently chose her own path and believed that things would work out for her good. When she met her husband, actor Amin Joseph (Snowfall), they developed a friendship before becoming involved, and she affirmed for herself that she'd meet her match.
Ashley Nguyen
"You know, [people always talk about] the biological clock thing, and I always try to stay really positive about it. I combat that with knowing that there was someone there out for me that would be a great partner, and that I would be OK—I would be a mother and I would have it all. I had to believe that, you know," she said. "I've kissed a few frogs. (Laughs) I've had challenges in relationships. I kept faith, and mapped it out in my mind and heart to know that God wanted more for me and that I deserved better. I knew that the person I saw as a good partner for me would come into my life and it would happen. And I had to believe that."
"I've kissed a few frogs. I've had challenges in relationships. I kept faith, and mapped it out in my mind and heart to know that God wanted more for me and that I deserved better. I knew that the person I saw as a good partner for me would come into my life and it would happen. And I had to believe that."
Even with today's current challenges in terms of strong, ambitious black women finding a suitable mate, Joseph put negativity to the side to hone in on authoritative self-awareness and the law of attraction.
"People can say, 'Oh, it's too hard to date in LA or New York or whatever.' But all in all, if your intention is to find certain things in a person, whatever those characteristics are, you can attract that," she said. "I think that as long as you feel that way, as long as you believe that, then it is possible. I recognize that what I want for me and what makes sense for Felicia, you know, may not make sense for somebody else. So I'm not competing with anybody for anything. That gives me peace."
Ashley Nguyen
"I recognize that what I want for me and what makes sense for Felicia, you know, may not make sense for somebody else. So I'm not competing with anybody for anything. That gives me peace."
As a new mom and wife, Joseph has managed to find her own formula for life balance as well, one that works for her and her family in the moment.
She has found that being deliberate in shifting priorities and habits to accommodate life as a new mom and wife has been good for her, especially with a busy schedule at work. Prioritizing what's currently important and what she feels she needs to invest more time in is something that has been a saving grace.
"I just always continue to have a positive attitude and find the silver lining in a situation. So, even if there's a tough time for me, I always feel like a lot of things, looking back on it in hindsight, it all made me sharper, smarter, and stronger. It helps you figure out what you're really made of—what you can handle—and it just pushes your limits a little bit. And so I'm thankful for all of it."
Featured image courtesy of Ashley Nguyen.
Originally published October 14, 2019
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by PeopleImages/Getty Images