We all have heard about the power of visualization and manifestation, sometimes in the form of vision boards, journaling, prayer or a combo of the three, but it doesn't become real until we—as human beings with the need to survive and thrive—see tangible results.
For Felicia Joseph, Vice President of Casting at NBCUniversal Cable Entertainment, the power is definitely real, and she has receipts. She has made it all the way up from intern to assistant to an executive wearing several hats, working on hit shows like Queen of the South, and embracing both the creative and business sides of entertainment.
"I grew up going to church, so faith has always been really big in my life and in my family's life," she told xoNecole in an exclusive interview. "I'm really big on setting goals and affirming things for myself. I try to recalibrate and check-in with myself and lately, I've been able to do it on my birthday every year. Instead of New Year's Resolutions, I usually will set goals around my birthday and check-in with myself on finances, on my mental state, on my health, on love—on all of those kinds of things. It has helped me continue to see the good and [keep track of] what's happening in my life."
The Hampton University graduate has set intentions through manifestation and prayer and has enjoyed a fulfilling career ever since. As a college student, she studied business management and was almost tempted to switch to mass communications to feed her creative side. After advisement from her father and a strong weighing of pros and cons, she decided to continue learning the nuances of business and nurture diverse creative aspirations through internships in the entertainment industry, which ultimately allowed her to move through the trial-and-error journey during her undergrad and postgrad experiences more seamlessly. "Being able to really map out my destiny—my goals and dreams in a smarter way—I feel like I was more in control of it," she recalls. "I think it really helped me. By being deliberate, I didn't look [at life] like it's happening to me. I looked at it as I can create [my future] and I feel like I've done that in most areas of my life, if not all."
"Being able to really map out my destiny—my goals and dreams in a smarter way—I feel like I was more in control of it. I think it really helped me. By being deliberate, I didn't look [at life] like it's happening to me. I looked at it as I can create [my future] and I feel like I've done that in most areas of my life, if not all."
Taking the time to consider all aspects of a decision as well as aligning skills with aspirations in a way that lead to action helped Joseph forge a path toward the knowledge and training that was required to create the life and career she wanted.
Early in her career, she had a desire to produce but she also wanted financial stability and more job security. She ended up landing internships at companies including MGM, and knew she wanted to work for a major studio or network.
"I thought if I have to go work for somebody, I want to work for someone who I can learn from, someone I respect, and someone who is going to help groom me into the executive that I see myself becoming. I needed someone who's going to be supportive of my growth. I wanted to be at a company where, not only could I grow, but also add value so that my strengths matched up with the opportunity and I could really add value where I was going. I wrote that down in an email to myself and it was called 'My Next Career Adventure.'"
She got just what she desired after that thoughtful and intentional email, gaining the opportunity of a lifetime in TV entertainment. She told xoNecole, "I was fortunate enough to have a really close friend whose sister was the VP of casting at ABC at the time, and she was looking for an assistant. I just learned about [casting] from there. I knew I wanted to do something more creative and I knew if I was going to go produce at the time, I would have to be a freelancer. I just didn't think I was ready for that. I didn't know what in-house casting really was until I kind of really got into it and then, you know, just fell in love with it."
Joseph got a chance to learn more about what's involved in choosing actors for a show, ensuring fiscal success and handling budgets, and serving as a liaison between departments that keep TV shows going. Turns out, the purposeful decision she made back in college was a good one.
"Having a business background and acumen really helped prepare me for my current role. For example, I'm really good at Excel spreadsheets—I kind of nerd-out over those things—and I really do love finding ways to save money and organize the money we're spending. I like that I don't have to always rely on other departments to tell me certain things, and I know our bottom line. Going through B-school helped with that because one of my classes might've been statistics and I was kind of introduced [to how to effectively use] Excel—how to use the formulas and all that kind of stuff."
Fast-forward to becoming a mother and wife: Joseph relied on the power of positive thinking, deliberate intention and manifestation yet again. In spite of the typical pressures placed on women—especially when they've reached their 30s—she confidently chose her own path and believed that things would work out for her good. When she met her husband, actor Amin Joseph (Snowfall), they developed a friendship before becoming involved, and she affirmed for herself that she'd meet her match.
"You know, [people always talk about] the biological clock thing, and I always try to stay really positive about it. I combat that with knowing that there was someone there out for me that would be a great partner, and that I would be OK—I would be a mother and I would have it all. I had to believe that, you know," she said. "I've kissed a few frogs. (Laughs) I've had challenges in relationships. I kept faith, and mapped it out in my mind and heart to know that God wanted more for me and that I deserved better. I knew that the person I saw as a good partner for me would come into my life and it would happen. And I had to believe that."
"I've kissed a few frogs. I've had challenges in relationships. I kept faith, and mapped it out in my mind and heart to know that God wanted more for me and that I deserved better. I knew that the person I saw as a good partner for me would come into my life and it would happen. And I had to believe that."
Even with today's current challenges in terms of strong, ambitious black women finding a suitable mate, Joseph put negativity to the side to hone in on authoritative self-awareness and the law of attraction.
"People can say, 'Oh, it's too hard to date in LA or New York or whatever.' But all in all, if your intention is to find certain things in a person, whatever those characteristics are, you can attract that," she said. "I think that as long as you feel that way, as long as you believe that, then it is possible. I recognize that what I want for me and what makes sense for Felicia, you know, may not make sense for somebody else. So I'm not competing with anybody for anything. That gives me peace."
"I recognize that what I want for me and what makes sense for Felicia, you know, may not make sense for somebody else. So I'm not competing with anybody for anything. That gives me peace."
As a new mom and wife, Joseph has managed to find her own formula for life balance as well, one that works for her and her family in the moment.
She has found that being deliberate in shifting priorities and habits to accommodate life as a new mom and wife has been good for her, especially with a busy schedule at work. Prioritizing what's currently important and what she feels she needs to invest more time in is something that has been a saving grace.
"I just always continue to have a positive attitude and find the silver lining in a situation. So, even if there's a tough time for me, I always feel like a lot of things, looking back on it in hindsight, it all made me sharper, smarter, and stronger. It helps you figure out what you're really made of—what you can handle—and it just pushes your limits a little bit. And so I'm thankful for all of it."
Featured image courtesy of Ashley Nguyen.
Originally published October 14, 2019
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?Giphy
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?Giphy
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an OrgasmGiphy
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for YouGiphy
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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Featured image by Giphy