I don't care who the woman is, how old she may be or what she looks like, if you ask her what she desires most on the beauty tip, I'm pretty sure that flawless skin will top the list. Not only is a beautiful complexion completely mesmerizing, it's also—how, do I put it? Cost effective. I'm tellin' y'all, ever since I've gotten my skin together, I can relate to actor Meagan Good when she said that she can't remember the last time that she used foundation. Whew! No more spending moments I'll never get back trying to find the perfect shade. No more worrying about hugging someone and my face rubbing off on their clothing. No more getting pimples because my pores are sick of me putting foundation on it all of the time. Freedom! Clear skin is precious freedom.
The cool thing about this article is, many of the things on this list, I can personally vouch for. They are the very items that got my skin back to being tight and right. The really awesome thing about them is they are all-natural. So if you want to use the next few weeks to get your own complexion back together, here are 10 things that can definitely help you out.
1. MSM & Vitamin C
Something that has become my beauty BFF is sulfur. One form of it is MSM (which is short for methylsulfonylmethane) which is an organic sulfur compound. Because sulfur is something that our body naturally produces, taking it in supplement form can produce several benefits. MSM is good for soothing joint pain, treating digestive issues, reducing allergy-related symptoms, supporting hair length retention and producing bright, glowing and even-toned skin.
Since we need collagen and keratin in order to look youthful and have softer-looking skin, MSM is a great way to get our body to create more of both. MSM is especially effective if you take it with around 1000 mg of Vitamin C on an empty stomach, on a daily basis. I've been doing it for a couple of months now and I can definitely tell the difference. It's like a miracle powder. No joke.
2. Sulfur Soap
It was around this time last year when I gave sulfur soap a shout out on the site. Nothing has exfoliated my skin, prevented period pimples and gotten rid of acne scars quite like it has. From what I've read, sulfur soap is so dope because it removes excess sebum, gets rid of the dead skin that clogs up pores, plus it contains resorcinol which is a powerful acne ingredient.
I've been getting some pretty big compliments on my skin for the past several months and I'm quick to sing sulfur soap's praises whenever I do. If you're curious, the kind that I use is Grisi Sulfur Acne Soap Bar. Just make sure to always keep in mind that it is sulfur and sulfur tends to have a bit of a rotten egg smell. Honestly, washing my face with it and rinsing thoroughly (or washing with it the night before) hasn't caused much of an issue. But if you're planning on using it to treat body acne, you might want to "proceed with caution" during the summertime. Sometimes it has a way of seeping out of your pores when it's super hot outside, if you're not careful.
3. Kiwi Fruit Extract
For such a cute little fruit, kiwi (also known as Chinese gooseberries) packs a pretty powerful punch. If you or your little one has asthma, it can improve your (or their) lung function. Kiwi also reduces DNA oxidative damage, helps to keep your heart healthy and strong, improves sleep quality, fights inflammation and, because it is a low-calorie fruit, kiwi aids in weight loss too. Because kiwi has so much Vitamin C in it, it's also a fruit that is great at keeping your skin looking and feeling amazing. Vitamin C is an antioxidant that helps your body to produce collagen and elastin; the more of these that you have, the less sagging your skin will do and the more radiant your skin will look.
Eating kiwi is one step towards having flawless skin. Another way is to apply some kiwi fruit extract directly to your face and neck. It's a wonderful way to "trigger" your skin into producing new skin cells while fighting free radical damage in the process. However, a popular way to get the extract into your system is to take it in powder form. You can pick up some, if you'd like, by shopping here.
4. Alpha-Arbutin
If you're looking for a way to lighten dark, age or liver spots but you'd prefer something that is safer than say, hydroquinone, an effective natural alternative (that's made up of wheat, bearberry plant, cranberries, pear skins and blueberries) is Alpha-Arbutin. The way that it works is it blocks melanin production which can ultimately lead to a more even skin tone.
A lot of people like to use it as an active ingredient in a DIY face serum. You can get the powder here. You can check out a DIY Vitamin C face serum recipe here (just make sure to swap out the Hyaluronic Acid for Alpha-Arbutin).
5. Strawberry & Yogurt Face Mask
Do you like to give yourself the spa treatment from the convenience of your own home? How about spoiling your skin by making a strawberry and yogurt face mask? Strawberries contain Vitamin C, salicylic acid and alpha hydroxy acid—all of which serve as the ideal exfoliants. And yogurt? Yogurt not only moisturizes your skin, it also contains properties that reduce dark circles, fades blemishes and even aids in healing minor skin infections. Just make sure that the yogurt is plain; yogurt with sugar in it could irritate your skin. You can check out a good strawberry and yogurt mask recipe here.
6. Jasmine Essential Oil
It is my personal opinion that everyone on the planet should have, at least one bottle, of jasmine essential oil in their possession. It works as an aphrodisiac, antidepressant and antiseptic. Jasmine oil also supports in relieving menopause-related symptoms, reducing stress and, it's even been proven to slow down the growth of certain strains of candida (which can lead to yeast infections and oral thrush). Your skin will love you applying some jasmine to it (mixed with some sweet almond oil) because it will moisturize soft skin, balance hormonal imbalances and reduce scars that are related to acne and even eczema.
7. Coriander Essential Oil
An essential oil that doesn't come up as much as a lot of the others do is coriander. Long story short, it derives from the same plant that cilantro essential oil does. As far as its benefits, internally, it aids in the digestive process. Also, when you mix it with lavender oil, it provides an unbelievable calming effect. Coriander essential oil makes the flawless skin list because it has potent cleansing properties to prevent breakouts. If you add it to organic coconut oil and apply it right after you get out of the shower, coriander can also improve the appearance of your skin and give you a relaxed feeling at the same time.
8. Honey & Chamomile Skin Toner
If a part of you has always wondered why skin toner is even necessary, the gist is this—applying a toner, right after you wash your face, can remove any excess residue. Something else that toner does is balance the pH level of your skin and prevent breakouts. Understandably, many people shy away from commercial brand toners because of the drying alcohol that's in them.
A homemade alternative is to make the kind that consists of honey (to moisturize), chamomile (to soothe) and apple cider vinegar (to tighten the skin and balance its pH levels). If you'd like to give this toner a shot, you can check out an easy-to-make recipe here.
9. Green Tea Ice Cubes
If mild inflammation or pimples are what's driving you nuts, something that you can do to significantly reduce any swelling is to rub some green ice cubes onto your skin. Aside from the fact that green tea has anti-inflammatory and antimicrobial properties in it, it also contains the antioxidant EGCG; that is what helps to prevent skin cells from dying. Another benefit that green tea has is it contains Vitamin E; that is a vitamin that hydrates the skin, reduces the appearance of scars and will make your skin soft and smooth. Just boil some green tea, let it get to room temperature, pour the tea into some ice molds and freeze them overnight. Then rub the cubes wherever and whenever a zit or swelling underneath your eyes pops up.
10. “Add-In” Water
How irresponsible would I be to be out here talking about natural ways to get flawless skin without mentioning water? Water detoxifies, hydrates and keeps our skin moisturized throughout the day, so the more that we drink, the better. You can do your skin an extra solid by adding in a few things that will provide it the nutrients that it needs to remain beautiful. Cinnamon sticks will stop acne-causing bacteria. Mint leaves will tone and brighten your complexion. Ginger contains anti-inflammatory properties. Lemon and lime slices are a good way to receive an extra dose of antioxidants. And, basil leaves will help to unclog your pores. So yeah, don't hesitate to put a little "extra" in your water. Not only will it keep it from tasting so "blah", it will be a treat for your skin as well. Drink up, sis. Your skin will absolutely love you for it!
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
____
I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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