While I knew in the back of my mind that the classic—not just "Black classic" either—movie Love & Basketballwas celebrating its (can you believe it?!) 20th anniversary this year, I do want to extend a personal apology to the film's writer and director, the totally bomb creator Gina Prince-Bythewood. The actual release date crept up on me (it was April 16). Still, the movie continues to be "sentimentally significant" enough that the xoTeam still wanted to make sure that it got some love from us before the month ends.
The nostalgia of the film alone served as my motivation to want to pen this, but what really made me want to get it out even more was due to the article, "Black Women's Stories Are the Hardest to Get Made: The Gina Prince-Bythewood Interview". In it, Gina talks about how Spike Lee's 40 Acres and a Mule Films produced the movie, how it was Sanaa Lathan's first leading role (I also think it's cool that Regina Hall played the big sister Lena, and she and Sanaa ended up acting together later in The Best Man). With a $15 million budget, Love & Basketball went on to make $27 million at the box office. To this day, it continues to prove that there is a real market for Black filmmakers who tell everyday Black stories that are relevant and oh so very necessary to—everyone.
Personally, I don't think I know one Black person who hasn't seen Love & Basketball at least 10 times at this point. But in honor of a movie that continues to make an impact, for so many reasons and on so many levels, even now, let's review 20 things about why this movie is always going to be worth checking out…a few more times (and then a few times after that).
FIRST QUARTER
1. How cute were Kyla Pratt and Glenndon Chatman as Little Monica Wright and Little Quincy McCall, y'all? To put time into perspective, Kyla and Glenndon are both now 33. If that doesn't make you sit and think about how fast time flies by, I don't know what will.
2. I dig how thorough Gina was in her writing, right down to finding a "role" for Sanaa's real-life face scar. Although in the movie, the explanation is that it came from Monica showing Quincy her skills on the basketball court, Sanaa said that she actually got the scar from something that went down between her, an oven and some Play-Doh when she was a kid.
3. To this day, Debbie Morgan (who played Quincy's mom, Nona) is still one of the prettiest women to me. And Alfre Woodard (who played Monica's mom, Camille) is definitely one of the best actors of our time. I thought it was dope how they were both Black active mothers who, in many ways, couldn't be more different. I also liked how a commonality that they had is they were both relatively affluent. Black people are multi-layered. Gina has a way of depicting that well.
4. Dennis Haysbert as Zeke McCall. He was a jerk, but with that height, skin tone and voice? He was a sexy jerk. He also loved his son. Many Black men do.
5. It's hard to miss how…combative Monica and Quincy were, even as children.
I don't know about y'all but, to me, I didn't pick up that it was because of that toxic mindset of "Boys hit you because they like you." If anything, I think that "young conflict" happens when big-people-feelings come along before someone is wise or mature enough to have them (which could be quite the argument for why young people shouldn't even focus on having a boyfriend or a girlfriend; just learning more about themselves).
It's interesting, the kind of "roles" that Quincy thought should be played out in relationships at such a young age, like Monica needing to ride on the back of his bike. Hmph. It's also interesting how his stubborn perspective on what a girlfriend "should do" ended up playing out later (more on that in a bit).
SECOND QUARTER
1. Monica and her mother have a complicated relationship. I get that Monica's mom has walls up because she feels like Monica doesn't respect her (remember when Monica said, "Why? Because I'd rather wear a jersey than an apron?"). Still, a part of me also wonders if Monica's mom is mad jealous because Monica takes risks and because she puts herself first. I also wonder if Monica's mom might feel like she has to compete a bit when it comes to the bond that Monica has with her dad. Families are complicated, y'all.
2. Gabrielle Union's character Shawnee and her fast butt. Hmph. Out here talking about licking sweat off of ninja's asses (in high school) and throwing jabs at Monica every chance she got. Every time I watch the movie, I think back to a girl I grew up with who acted just like Shawnee. They both were mean girls from the pits of hell (Gabrielle actually addressed that she knew that she used to be a meanie herself. You can read more about that here). If there is anyone who I wonder about in regards to what the heck she is doing with her life, 20 years from now, it's Shawnee. I mean, remember, she was the chick who, as Monica put it, while riding with Quincy after a game, "[Shawnee's] sending her coochie through the mail." (That continues to be one of the more memorable lines to me.) We've got OnlyFans now. I'm just sayin'.
3. As Monica and Quincy continued to grow and their relationship continued to evolve, I adore how they had a way of challenging and comforting each other.
Quincy would call Monica out on her stank attitude on the court (and sometimes off of it, if we're gonna be real) while Monica literally provided him with a place to lay his head when he couldn't sleep due to his parents' incessant late night arguments. A solid foundation was being laid, perhaps without them even knowing it, very early on.
4. The dance. Let me back up—the music and the dance...and what followed later that evening. "Making Love in the Rain" (Herb Alpert, Lisa Keith, Janet Jackson) played while Monica was getting ready for the dance. RIP to Johnny Kemp who had his song, "Just Got Paid" featured at the dance itself, along with the Zapp & Roger (also RIP Roger and Larry Troutman) slow jam classic, "I Wanna Be Your Man". Geeze so much happened up in that dance. Boris Kodjoe's character was Monica's date (do Boris or Sanaa ever age? I recently watched Boris in TLC's "Red Light Special" music video and asked myself that). Shawnee got some more shots in (like talking about Monica's "Nike dress"). Monica reminded Quincy that her date to the dance wasn't her basketball Spalding. But, by far, my favorite part was the GIF you're looking at. Sometimes eyes say more than words ever do.
5. And that eye contact ultimately led Monica giving her virginity to Quincy (did she always keep her bedroom door locked or what? Quincy sure was in that room a lot) with the help of another jam, "This Woman's Work" by Maxwell. If anyone recalls the first time when they had sex (especially if it was with your first love), you can vouch for that being a pretty realistic scene too (shout-out to Quincy using a condom). I'll leave that right there.
THIRD QUARTER
1. All these women hatin' on our girl Monica. Next up—Sidra's (one of Monica's teammates, played by Erika Ringor) hatin' tail. The thing that I really liked about Monica's college years is she was really figuring out her own voice and desires on another level. The thing that was difficult-yet-necessary to watch was Quincy realizing that parents are just people and his father was a man, not a god. Gina also did a wonderful job of revealing how men emotionally suffer; how it can have a domino effect on so many areas of their life when it's not properly addressed.
2. I'm pretty sure that another super memorable scene for a lot of us is when Monica and Quincy played strip basketball in his dorm room (with Guy's song, "I Like" playing). A part of the reason why I smile whenever I see this, I think about how fine Omar Epps was during that era; anyone who went to college with me knows that we had a guy on the yard who looked a lot like Quincy. A LOT (whew!). Anyway, did anyone peep the foreshadowing in the movie when, after the game, Monica said, "I won" and Quincy immediately said, "I wanted you to"? We'll pick back up on that in the fourth quarter.
3. I'm not sure how many think pieces have been done on how Quincy was emotionally stunted in some ways. When he and Monica were kids, he had semi-chauvinistic ideas of what girls should and should do and, in college, not much had changed. Remember how passive-aggressive-aggressive he was when he wanted Monica to stay out past her curfew once he found out his father cheated and lied (and lied and cheated)? Or how he had the nerve to invite her to go to Burger King with him and Monica Calhoun's character but then, later that night, had the balls to say to Monica, "If basketball is all you care about, why you bonin' me? Why don't you bone Dick Vitale?"
Y'all, toxic masculinity is not masculinity itself. Men are not created to think or act like women. Toxic masculinity is when a man doesn't understand his purpose as a man, a woman's purpose as a woman and how those differences are designed to balance one another. Quincy, in this "quarter", in many ways, was toxic..because he was in unresolved pain.
4. In fact, one more example of Quincy's toxicity was skipping out on Monica's game, showing up at an afterparty (drunk) and then trying to make her feel guilty for not wanting to have sex with him. Interesting how he struggled with celebrating her if he wasn't "the man", huh? Pretty sure he learned that from his home life. (Hmm.)
5. This leads me to another point. Remember how, when Quincy went to talk to his mom about his dad and Nona showed him those pictures that she got from a private detective of his dad with another woman. As someone who is a child of divorce who also got TMI from ALL of my parents, if you're a mom or dad who's reading this, that's NEVER a good idea. Children, as they are old enough to handle it, should know the truth, but not if it's being used as a weapon. You have no idea how that can scar us—well into our adult years.
FOURTH QUARTER
1. A wise person once said, "Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve." Call me petty if you want, but I did enjoy how life came full circle for Monica and Sidra when Monica beat Sidra in that championship game in Spain. I also like that they were able to come to some real peace. I think that prepared Monica for some other "healing moments" that came up in the final quarter of the movie.
2. Who didn't see a mile away that Tyra Banks' character, Kyra was the absolute worst match for Quincy (remember when she went out of her way to hold her ring finger out at the hospital or how she "we'd" Monica as Monica was leaving?). Ugh. Sometimes it's the wrong one who shows you who the right one truly is. I read between the lines when Quincy told Monica that he called her when she won All-American and when Magic Johnson retired.
Time and distance don't change love. People do.
3. All things work together. For me, a hard scene to watch was between Monica and her mom. Oh, but how necessary was that? I personally think that a lot of Monica's uber-defensiveness was because she and her mother were always on eggshells with one another. Before Monica and Quincy could have a real conversation, she needed to with Camille first (although when Camille said she had to "put her dreams on hold" to have her kids, I do wonder how Monica processed that). It's a reminder that a lot of us could stand to heal from our childhoods before trying to build a lasting relationship with someone else.
4. Case in point. Remember when Camille said to Monica, "You know Monica, something that always drove me crazy about you, and I have to admit, it made me jealous, but I always admired was the fight in you…remember when I said Quincy could do better? I was talking about you." Because Monica and her mom had started the process of forgiving each other and some walls were able to come down, Monica could really hear her mom and that, I believe, played a significant role in her "heart game" with Quincy.
5. And then there's the final scenes of Monica and Quincy; of Monica playing for Quincy's heart and—here comes the result of the foreshadowing from the Second Quarter—Quincy wanting her to. There were some good one-liners in the last 15 minutes, wasn't there?
Monica: "I've loved you since I was 11 and it won't go away."
Monica: "I'll play you [for your] heart."
Quincy (after Monica loses): "Double or nothin'."
After it's clear that Quincy indeed did know that he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life by marrying someone else, my favorite scene is at the very end of the film, when he and Monica's daughter watched Monica play at her basketball game. Love & Basketball, indeed.
The best stories are relatable ones. And, I believe that Love & Basketball will always be a fan favorite because it's not perfect. It's not a fairy tale. It is simply real and full of Black love. And that is to be both adored and commended. So yeah, I felt that it was only right to honor Gina and the movie by recapping 20 reasons why, 20 years later, her brainchild is still celebrated and appreciated. From the script, to the cast, to the soundtrack and everything in between, thanks Gina. The movie and you are still dope…20 years later.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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