Tyra Banks Bossed Up After Leaving An Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Being in love hit different when you know who you are, and Tyra Banks learned this at the hands of an emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend. Sometimes words can hurt just as bad (or worse) than sticks and stones, and the supermodel says she didn't come to this realization until she experienced the trauma of being with a verbally abusive partner firsthand. In a recent episode of TV One's Uncensored, the 45-year-old supermodel opened up about how a toxic relationship in her 20s turned her into a person that she no longer recognized. She explained:
"I remember being kind of judgmental for women that were in bad relationships. And I'm just like, 'Get out. Come on, like what are you doing, leave him, I don't get it.' Until I experienced it myself. I was in a relationship for many years, and we probably broke up fourteen/fifteen times."
I once read that the amount of abuse you tolerate from others is indicative of the abuse you tolerate from yourself and I see no lies. Tyra says that while her ex caused a great deal of trauma in her life, she realized that her emotional wound was much deeper than her current relationship, it was a reflection of her self-esteem:
"There were things that he said and made me feel like, I couldn't leave, or if I left I had to go back. He told me that that is what he does. That he knows how to break a woman down. And it took so many different friends and family for me to finally say goodbye to him."
From the outside, looking in, even the most turbulent storms in a relationship can go unnoticed. But anyone who has ever endured verbal abuse by a loved one knows that emotional wounds don't have physical scars. In 2009, when Tyra opened up to Oprah about the relationship, she said that this was especially true:
"He never hit me, but I would say there were blows to my spirit, blows to my emotional well-being every day."
"He was a master at being able to be happy and nice to everybody else but whispering these negative things to me. I'd start complaining to my friends, and they're like: 'Well, he's fine, girl. He's fine with us. Everything's fine.'"
It wasn't until one day when Tyra had a moment alone that she realized that she deserved way more than she was requiring and made the brave decision to walk away.
"I walked to the mirror in his bathroom. He wasn't there. Out loud, I looked in that mirror and I said: 'Tyra, who are you? What the hell are you doing? Get out of here.'"
With the help of close friends and of course, her mama, Tyra was able to walk away from a relationship that didn't make her happy and became a woman who does.
Check out the full clip below!
Tyra on abusive relationships (EXCLUSIVE)youtu.be
Featured image by DFree / Shutterstock.com
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
'Bel-Air' Actress Jazlyn Martin On Her Ongoing Identity Crisis And Its Influence On Her Creative Journey
Jazlyn Martin is a triple-threat performer known most for her role as Jackie on Peacock’sBel-Air. Her character’s fiery personality and questionable decisions have led to a few shocking moments in the series and quite a bit of convo on social media.
Now, I’ll be honest: as an avid TV-lover, I was well-prepared to hop on Zoom and jump into all the chatter around Bel-Air and her characters’ decisions. But after listening to her new EP Identity Crisis, I knew there was a lot more to talk about as well. During this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Jazlyn Martin delved into the challenging journey she’s faced surrounding her identity, newfound fame, and family influence, and how it all plays a part in her art. Check it out!
xoNecole: So I know that your father is in the entertainment world, but when did you realize you shared the same passion?
Jazlyn Martin: I think it was very early on. I was a child who was full of attitude and fearlessness that would go after anything I wanted. I believe seeing my dad pursue music made me realize it was possible. I just had this hunger and fire, and my parents consciously fed and nurtured that - they are always all super supportive of whatever I do. So very, very early on, I was like, I'm meant to do this. And I just was like, I'm a star, and I know I'm a star.
xoN: Actually, let's talk about your family. What are some of your most important values, and how have your family and heritage played a part in shaping those values?
Jazlyn: I mean, my mom is like an angel; she's so graceful and kind, and I've had to work hard to get there. When I was young, I was very abrasive, headstrong, and stubborn. Whereas my mom gives an immense amount of grace in the way she carries herself. I had to learn that.
I think being strong is something I’ve always had. My parents always joke that they don't know where my personality came from. Because my dad is shy and timid and my mom is kind, and I'm a fireball. But my Dad always asked the important industry questions like, “Why do you want to do this?” And that instilled some purpose into me. It really carried me to keep going because it's so easy to be discouraged in this field, but that drive has helped me push through all of the challenges.
xoN: I bet. I have such a respect for actors and the way you all navigate the industry. Speaking of, let’s dig into “Bel-Air.” Were you a fan of the show? Did you have to go back and watch the episodes?
Jazlyn: So I actually did watch the show which is crazy because sometimes I don’t. I saw it was a reboot and was like, ‘Oh no, not another one.’ But I watched the first three episodes, realized how good it was, and ended up watching the whole season. I became a fan, and then a few months later, I booked the role!
I think the imagination is such a beautiful and powerful tool, and I feel like if you create something in your mind, it happens. It's a crazy thing, but I really just created Jackie's world - the house she grew up in, her parents leaving her, and everything. I created why she fell in love with dance. I really came at it from a human approach. If I see it, then the audience can see it.
xoN: Yeah, background plays into so much of how we deal with things, how we interact with people, and everything. And I feel like Jackie gets a lot of backlash. Like, we’ve all had a “Jackie Moment” to be real.
Jazlyn: She gets so much backlash! I just encourage people to give her grace and see the God in her because I do think she tells a lot of Black and brown girls' stories. People project on her, saying she’s too ratchet or hood, and I’m like does that mean she’s not loveable?
We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her. Because she’s helped me extend empathy to people I don't necessarily want to or don't think deserve to have it. But she's 17, she's figuring it out, and she doesn't have parents. Like, that's such a huge factor.
"We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her."
xoN: You mentioned how your character is viewed, which digs a bit into identity. So I want to talk a little bit about some of the emotional songs on your EP “Identity Crisis.” What inspired the track “Perfect?”
Jazlyn: When I was creating “Perfect,” I already had the EP title. So I kind of mapped out, like, the different conflicts I had in my head and categorized them into seven songs, and so one of my identity crises was being perfect. Because I feel like a lot of men tend to put women on pedestals. They're expected to be perfect - especially when you’re in the limelight. You know, you can't slip up. You can't say the wrong thing. Cancel culture is such a huge thing. And I just wanted to encourage people to give people grace to be themselves because that's not an easy thing to do.
I just wanted to take down this facade that I’m perfect because I never pretended to be. I never wanted to be. I think that's something people have placed on me, that I have it all figured out, I think I just carry it well, but that doesn't mean it's not heavy. I just wanted to be very vulnerable and honest. I think people think “perfect” is a compliment, but I think it's a cage because it doesn't allow room for error. It doesn't allow for you to be human and mess up and fail and take risks. So I just wanted to encourage grace.
xoN: Do you ever feel like you went through an identity crisis?
Jazlyn: I go through one constantly. Growing up, I didn't really have one. But I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just “other.” That was an identity crisis in itself.
Also, being introduced to a level of fame has been interesting, too. I think we all go through identity crises all the time because we’re evolving and changing. It’s beautiful, but it’s also scary; you see yourself this one way, and then something happens, and there’s a shift. So yeah, I think it’s something we all go through but no one talks about.
"I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just 'other.'"
xoN: I love that. And I know Hispanic Heritage Month is coming up, and you'll be speaking at the New York Latino Film Festival. Talk to me about what that moment means to you and what you hope to bring to the event. *Editor’s note: The interview was conducted before Hispanic Heritage Month began.
Jazlyn: I’m bringing some Afro-Latino-ness! I always grew up seeing Latinos being represented in a very specific way—very Spanish, not very Indigenous looking. So I'm really excited to bring the Black experience, with the Latino experience, to the stage because that's something a lot of people don't know exists.
People are always like, “Are you Black or Latina?” Well, I'm both! We were just dropped off in different parts. I’m excited to speak on that and highlight how prevalent anti-Blackness is within Latino communities. A lot of Afro-Latinos have faced an identity crisis because of it, including myself. It sometimes feels like you’re supposed to hate the other half of who you are.
For me, I held onto that little Black girl inside. I refused to let her go. And that’s what I want to represent when I speak—resilience and acceptance of our full selves. I’m also looking forward to meeting fellow Latino people, especially Afro-Latinos, and sharing our stories. It’s not a narrative that gets much attention, and I’m excited to represent.
xoN: I’m excited for you! Finally, with all the praise and recognition you’re receiving now, what has it been like to transition from working in music, dance, and acting to now being in the spotlight? How have you embraced this new level of fame?
Jazlyn: Um, it's overwhelming. I think that's the best word. Sometimes, I'm joyful, because I'm giving back to the community. People resonate with Jackie's stories and see themselves in her, which I think is the biggest compliment to me. But then sometimes, you know, I feel sad because I'm like, ‘Damn, I'm not doing enough,’ like I should be doing more. It's crazy, the industry is so fast-paced that you don't really try to celebrate wins. It's just a transition, an identity crisis of the like.
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Lori Harvey’s Can’t-Live-Without Essentials: From Chanel Hand Cream To Baby Hair Brushes
If Lori Harvey says something is a must-have, we believe her. In the realm of trendsetters and tastemakers, Lori shines as a beacon of impeccable style and sophistication. When she deems something a "must-have," it instantly becomes an object of desire for fashion and beauty enthusiasts worldwide. Her innate ability to identify and embrace emerging trends has solidified her position as the quintessential it girl.
Her influence extends far beyond the realm of clothing, encompassing everything from her rigorous Pilates routine to her meticulously curated skincare regimen.
Let’s keep it 1000— her words carry weight, and her recommendations are highly sought after. The fashion industry hangs on her every word, eager to know what trends she will embrace next. Her Instagram account, with its millions of followers, serves as a virtual runway, showcasing the latest must-have items and coveted accessories.
Recently, she sat down with StyleCaster to share what’s in her Hermès bag and there were a couple of items that grabbed our attention so let’s run them back.
YSL Sunglasses
Every girl needs a pair of sunnies at the ready. You never know who you need to avoid or when you wanna have a legit no-makeup day. Lori believes, “They just are the vibe.”
Chanel Hand Cream
“One thing you’ll never find me is ashy,” the star boasts. Of course, her hand cream of choice is Chanel which deeply hydrates, protects, and delicately scents your hands. Quickly absorbed, it leaves skin soft, supple, and long-lasting comfort. Best of all, your nails and cuticles are enhanced for a flawless manicure.
Rhode Peptide Lip Treatment
Apparently the Rhode hype is real. Lori shared that she likes to indulge in this nourishing delight that transforms her lips on the go so much so that she has one in every bag. According to the girlies, this ethereal formula glides on effortlessly, leaving your lips with a glossy sheen. It works diligently to deeply nourish and quench the thirst of dry lips, ensuring they remain hydrated and supple.
Baby Hair Brush
“The baby hair queen” herself has over 100 baby hair brushes because you gotta keep those edges slayed and laid. This Red by Kiss Ultimate Edge Fixer Professional Boar Hair Brush is a 3-in-1 baddie that features natural and gentle boar bristles that provide a massaging sensation on the scalp, improving blood flow and making it perfect for sculpting short, unruly baby hairs and taming flyaways. It also offers two types of ends for versatile use, including edge control gel application.
SKN by LH White Tea Toner
This toner serves as a good refresher for the model on the go. “It’s very fresh and keeps the skin hydrated. Any time I need a pick me up for my skin, I am whipping her out.”
During the sit-down, the multi-hyphenate also emphasized her strong work ethic and involvement in all aspects of her skincare brand, SKN by LH, from creative product development to Instagram curation. Lori debunks misconceptions about her not working, proudly stating that she earns everything she has and is deeply invested in her brand's success.
Honorable Mentions: Birth Control & Fan
We just had to add Lori's birth control must-have moment from the vid to the list, “Because you know… no babies,” as Lori said.
Additionally, whether folks know it or not, having a fan handy is key to maintaining a sweat-free beat and not appearing too glowy. No matter the season, keep a handheld fan, motorized or old-school, in your bag to quite literally keep cool. It’s the Lori Harvey-approved way to keep it cute.
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