In the summer when couples are breaking up left and right, the idea of keeping one's relationship seems implausible. With the endless bickering, never being on the same page, and constant dissatisfaction, it is only natural for couples to want to call it quits. Though, just because it's natural, doesn't mean it's necessary. Sometimes the best thing for a rocky relationship is to take a step back and decide what you want and need. This could be something as simple as acquiring your partner's attention ("Focus"), space and time to return to yourself ("Distance"), or just a time out from yet another fight ("Don't Wanna Fight").
Regardless of what it is, it is important to attempt to fix one's relationship before throwing the whole thing away. In a time where things are so easily picked up and thrown back down, fighting for your relationship, no matter how frustrating, might just be your solution. At the end of the day, if it doesn't work out, you'll know you at least gave it your all. With break-up songs leading in the summer hits, turn off the radio, and put these hits about fixing your relationship at the top of your queue.
15 Songs About Fixing Relationships
1."Need U Bad" - Jazmine Sullivan
"Need U Bad" by R&B sensation Jazmine Sullivan perfectly represents the relentless, desperate passion one exudes when attempting to save their relationship. Over a Carribean bounce, and entranced by a harmonious flow, Sullivan calmly begs for her lover. She is begging for him to let her back in, to regain his trust. Extremely self-aware, she apologizes for her shortcomings. Although, it's clear that she has some groveling to do. Eventually, the juxtaposition of the calm island sway combined with the anxious drums, bleeds into an emotion-filled R&B groove. It's good. Making-an-ugly-face-and-shaking-your-head kind of good. So good, that it's the perfect song to fully explain how heart-wrenching and critical fixing a relationship can be.
2."Ordinary People" - John Legend
Contrary to those who preach: relationships are hard. Learning to be with another person is hard. They don't think the way you do. They don't act the way you do, and they certainly don't react the way you do. Therefore, it's hard. Despite learning the way they speak, argue, or react, everyone manages to go back default sooner or later, and arguments are bound to happen. In "Ordinary People," John Legend knows exactly this. In this piano ballad, Legend explains that he is in love with this woman. Not cute, infatuated love, but real, honest to God—hand to the Bible kind of love. And in being in love, he is willing to take a step back and consider fixing their relationship. Maybe things aren't working out because they're putting too much pressure on themselves, and, in turn, one another. Instead, they should consider the notion that they are just ordinary people.
3."Don't Wanna Fight" - Alabama Shakes
"Don't Wanna Fight" shows how truly frustrating fixing a relationship can be. Beginning at the 40-second mark, at what could only be interpreted as a frustrated screech, Brittany Howard perfectly depicts the moment where you realize you love your partner, but you don't quite like them. In moments like this, it's best to step back, acknowledge what has been said, and take a break. Sometimes it is crucial to just let a fight die. Especially when you realize that what you're fighting for, isn't something worth fighting about at all. There is a clear difference between fighting for a relationship and fighting pointlessly for your pride. When this is discovered, Alabama Shakes serves as a reminder to give up the battle for the sake of winning the war.
4."We Belong Together" - Mariah Carey
I'm sure that I don't have to explain why "We Belong Together" makes for a great song about fixing a relationship. Although, in case I do, here it goes: Mariah Carey. This chef's kiss of a song, doubles as a ballad and a bop. The moment the piano riffs and Mariah harmonizes, it's clear she is out for blood. And boy, how easy it was to fall into her trap. With enticing vocals, layered harmonies, and a moment to scream, it's hard not to. "We Belong Together" is the final call. The moment where everything is laid out on the line. Where you try to stop the arguments, the coldness, or whatever it is that's making your relationship rocky. Instead, you work out your problems because the idea of the two you not being together is ridiculous. After all, returning to one another is inevitable.
5."Distance" - Emily King
"One room just ain't enough when there's two folks trying to get along." A truer statement has never been said. "Distance" by Emily King shows that, sometimes, the best way to fix a relationship is to give one another space.
Not the type of space in the sense of "taking a break." But more in the sense of maybe you should spend a day apart returning to yourself. In relationships, it easy to get lost in being someone's else partner. Being stuck in just that one role, when you're a multitude of others, can be irritating and result in unnecessary arguments. Therefore, spend a day or two apart. Take time to check in with yourself and what you want. Then, if you must return back to your argument when you're both clear of mind.
6."Let's Stay Together" - Al Green
Why break up when you can just stay together? In "Let's Stay Together," Al Green believes that if you love someone you should work with them whether your relationship is at the highest high, or lowest low. Mainly about compromising, "Let's Stay Together" talks about what happens when one person is willing to compromise what they want for what their partner needs. Sometimes, it is OK to give a little, especially when what you're fighting for doesn't compare to what you could lose. To fix a relationship--as long as you're not playing martyr for your partner--consider if what they're asking for is rational and plausible.
7."Slipping" - Eryn Allen Kane
In the impassioned ballad, "Slipping," Eryn Allen Kane sings about the hardships of solely fixing a relationship. Unlike some of the ballads before her, Kane doesn't need a chance to step back and view her relationship. Instead, she sees things for what they are: her partner is unhappy. Knowing this, she makes it her mission to help them find happiness. Though, in doing so, she loses her own when she realizes her partner doesn't care for her efforts. There is an enchantment in being seen. Though she sees her love, she becomes bitter knowing that he doesn't see her. In the end, she challenges him. They could either work it out, or continue to slip away. They still have time to win, but he is going to have to be willing to step up.
8."Passionfruit" - Drake
This song is a coin toss. On one hand, it's clear that Drake is realizing that his relationship might've come to an end and wants to fight for it. On the other hand, he understands why his lover might choose to leave. Regardless, in this R&B, pop, dancehall tune, Drake attempts to fix his relationship. Having a long-distance relationship is stressful. Not only are you separated from the person you care most about, but that separation can also bring about insecurities.
In "Passionfruit," this is no different. Drake is constantly away and the woman he has left behind has had enough. This eventually puts them at an odds, where Drake is left to explain that he is still wanting this relationship. Although, he understands why his romantic interest might think differently because he is not around to prove it. By the end of the song, he is left fighting for the relationship, but whether his partner wants to remain is up to her.
9."Focus" - H.E.R.
Giving your partner attention is important. Despite our hectic lives and busy schedules, the need to ensure connection with your partner should always come first. When connection and attention are often ignored, problems in the relationship can easily occur. In H.E.R.'s "Focus," politely demands attention of her partner. Instead of being focused on the games, phones, and other miscellaneous things, she asks that he just focus on her. This song shows many ways a relationship can be fixed. The most important way being communication. Unlike other songs, she isn't beating around the bush, she isn't alluding to what she wants. Instead, H.E.R. is very clear about what she needs to save this relationship, and that's her partner's unrelenting focus.
10."Lost In Translation" - Johnnyswim
Listening to "Lost in Translation" by Johnnyswim is like listening to the aftermath of a huge, heated argument. Stopping in the middle of their argument, or immediately after one has ended, Abner takes things into perspective. Realizing that he might have taken things too far, he wants to know what can be done to salvage their relationship and the guilt he feels. He no longer cares why they are arguing, he just wants to return back to how things were. Meanwhile, Amanda agrees. She acknowledges that they are missing something, so instead of choosing to fight or figure it out that night, she wants them to enjoy one another's company like they did in the past. Fighting has gotten them nowhere and they are aware that despite wanting the same thing, they keep colliding. So, instead of trying to end the argument, maybe the best thing would be to leave it where it is.
11."He Won't Go" - Adele
At times, fixing a relationship often requires silencing the people closest to you. Not that they're not right in what they're saying. They just aren't as informed as you. They know only what you've told them and are responding with your best interest in mind. You and your partner on the other hand know what you've gone through and what has brought you in. This can be said for "He Won't Go." In this R&B pop song, Adele sings about wanting to try for her relationship because her past cannot let her easily leave it behind. The same can be said for her partner. Therefore, they are going to try to make the relationship work because they have something worth fighting for. As long as he is willing to stay, she is, too.
12."Mercy" - Jacob Banks
This type of relationship in need of fixing is far from romantic. Nevertheless, it could be interpreted as such. "Mercy" by Jacob Banks talks about the ostracism African-American experience in the United States. Tired of being treated like a "second-class citizen," Banks demands "a little mercy" be given to himself and his community. After sacrificing and playing along with the majority, he hopes to be treated like someone who has hopes and aspirations of his own. This makes the perfect song for fixing a relationship, because it calmly takes things into perspective. When we're in a rough place, we spend most of our time victimizing ourselves and wondering why we're being treated badly. Nonetheless, when the situation is calmly addressed, there is an opportunity to acknowledge and validate the imbalance someone might be experiencing in a relationship. This can, of course, lead to a road of rectification.
13."Loved By You" - Kirby
When you've been a relationship for too long, it is easy to take advantage of what you have. Whether you're used to the affection, care, love, kindness, or whatever it is your partner gives to you, it would be wise to speak up and openly appreciate the love given. Otherwise, you won't know what you had until it's too late. Kirby's soulful, heartfelt ballad, "Loved By You" is the final chance to acquire the love she always wanted. Hoping to amend her previous relationship, Kirby openly expresses her desire to love and be loved. She knows that this might be the last chance that she is given to experience true, all-encompassing, passionate love and she wants to work on doing so with the one she admires.
14."Piano Joint (This Kind of Love)" - Michael Kiwanuka
Michael Kiwanuka has been beaten and bruised by love. This time, he won't let it happen, again. "Piano Joint (This Kind of Love)" focuses his relationship on the right type of love. Kiwanuka tells his partner that he is tired of fighting and hopes that in choosing to lose this battle, he might actually win in the end. Giving up in hopes of fixing his relationship, he tells his love that this kind of love is something that he has never experienced. Due to this, he knows that this has the potential to make him happy. So, he chooses to put their grievances aside and gives himself the opportunity to enjoy "this [new] kind of love" that has liberated him.
15."Mad" - Ne-Yo
According to studies, going to bed while angry can create long-term damage in relationships. When one goes to bed angry, one's brain places that experience into sections that hold long-term memories, while asleep. Which ultimately results in the argument holding a lasting impression and intensified anger on the matter. Therefore, it's best to refrain from going to bed mad and/or find a comprisable stopping point. Ne-Yo's hit single "Mad" says just this. Knowing that possibly going to bed mad will only ruin his relationship, Ne-Yo asks his girlfriend what they're fighting for. When they realize that they can't recall why they're arguing or why they're mad in the first place, Ne-Yo asks for the argument to end. He doesn't want to go to bed mad at her or vice-versa, so it's best to just settle things.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Okay, so when you hear the term “mental health,” what immediately comes to your mind? As a marriage life coach, for me, it’s oftentimes articles that have to do with some sort of mental health-related crisis or, even when it comes to many of my clients, trying to help a relationship when it’s on the brink of total and utter despair. That’s really unfortunate too because, in my opinion, if more focus was placed on signs that we are in a great mental space and more tips were provided on how to either get or remain there, I think a lot of us would find ourselves in far more positive space — a lot more of the time.
And just what are some indications that you’re doing well on the emotional wellness tip? You really like yourself. You treat others the way that you want to be treated. You live with a spirit of gratitude. You know how to adjust well to change and differences (within and outside of yourself). You are aware of your purpose and are doing all that you can to manifest it on a daily basis (check out “What Does It Mean To Have 'Purposeful Relationships'?,” “Please Stop Picking People Who Don't 'Fit' Your Purpose” and “How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'”).
And how do you know when it’s time to put everything aside and tend to your mental health? When you feel any type of extreme fatigue, whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional; when your attitude is sarcastic, cynical, or apathetic; when you’re not giving your best to what you are doing (or have no clue why you are doing some of the things that you are doing); when you’re sacrificing too much of who you are in order to make something (or things) work, and/or when your spiritual self is compromised.
Today, if any of those warning signs just resonated with you, I’m gonna do you a solid. In the spirit of getting — and keeping — you in a great mental health state, here are 12 hacks that can help you out if you’re needing a bit of a right-now-pick-me-up.
1. Wear a Bright Color
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Whether you choose to believe it or not, color psychology is a very real thing. Yep, there is quite a bit of data out here to support that the colors that you choose to surround yourself with can have an impact on your mood(s). For instance, I read an article that said over half of individuals associate black with sadness, red with love, and yellow with joy.
So, if you happen to wake up on the wrong side of the bed one morning, before you pull out something black because perhaps it’s slimming or even convenient, why not go with a bright hue instead? Orange can give you an energy boost, green conveys joy and lilac cultivates a feeling of calm. (Color) psychology says so.
2. Rub Some Clementine Oil on a Pressure Point
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Something that I’m always gonna be good for is hipping you to an essential oil that you may not have heard of before, and today, it’s clementine oil. Whether you’re looking for a way to strengthen your immunity, bring some health and beauty to your skin, or want to feel better on your way to work (or you need something that will help you to get you through the rest of your workday), clementine oil has a reputation for making all of these things happen.
The reason why it’s a good idea to apply it to places like your hands or feet is because there are many nerve endings in both spots that connect throughout your body. Plus, essential oils have a tendency to absorb well (and fast) in those places, too.
3. Snack on Some Sunflower or Pumpkin Seeds
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If you’ve always looked at snacking as a low-key cuss word, this would be the day to stop doing that. So long as you snack on the right kinds of foods and do it in moderation, it can actually be beneficial for you. For instance, as far as your mental health is concerned, snacking can help raise your blood sugar levels (in a good way) and provide you with an energy boost.
Two low-calorie snacks that are especially beneficial as far as maintaining your mental health is concerned are sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds.
Sunflower seeds contain magnesium and zinc which can help calm your nerves (yes, literally), along with vitamin E (which reduces oxidative stress) and protein (which boosts brain health). As far as pumpkin seeds go, they also are an excellent source of magnesium and protein, plus they have a lot of manganese in them which is a nutrient that helps improve brain health and even reduce PMS-related symptoms.
4. Listen to Some Pop. Or Hip-Hop.
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While checking out an article entitled, “Improving Mental Health Through Music,” I got to thinking about how listening to Michael McDonald’s “I Can Let Go Now” will damn near turn me into a basket case, and yet The Pharcyde’s “Drop” (which is one of the best visuals ever made; I’m not debating it either) will immediately get my head to bobbin’ and my mind to feeling great.
Yes, music is powerful, and we really need to be careful when it comes to what we listen to…and also when. Anyway, if you’re curious about which genres are reportedly best for your mental health (because they help to release the feel-good chemical dopamine into your system) — pop, hip-hop, alternative, rock, classical (if you need help focusing), and jazz can reduce stress and even increase longevity.
5. Take a Power Nap
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It’s pretty common for people to ask me how I am able to write about relationships and then listen to people talk about them without losing my mind. Well, for one thing, God made me this way. That said, one of my surefire hacks is to take a freakin’ nap — especially after a long session (some of mine last for two hours at a time!). Listen, even if you can only get 15 minutes in (anything over 30 minutes is more than just a simple power nap, by the way), it can help reduce fatigue, increase awareness and alertness, and help you feel good so that you will perform better.
Chile, naps shouldn’t be seen as something that only kindergarteners do. Adults would be so much more pleasant to be around if more got a power nap in as well.
6. Put a “Timer” on Your Social Media
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There’s no telling how many times on this platform I’ve said that the average American spends a whopping 2.5 hours on social media on a daily basis. That’s five 30-minute sitcom episodes — yes, that is a long time. What’s wild to me is while parents will talk about their kids needing their social media time monitored because too much is not good for their mental health (which is true) — parents need to lead by example because data says that when not consumed in extreme moderation, social media isn’t the best for grown folks either.
All of that information — especially the negative stuff, and there is PLENTY of that — increases anxiety, disrupts sleep, can lead to memory loss, may cause you to feel lonely, and can do a real number on your self-esteem. So, how much time should be allotted to your Instagram and TikTok accounts? Many mental experts say somewhere around 30 minutes a day should be the max.
And listen, if you just read that and can’t even fathom that timeframe because you feel like you’d go crazy without more time online, you’re the main one who should try it out (check out “10 Ways To Keep Social Media From Triggering You (So Much)” and “8 Solid Reasons To Put. Your Phone. Down.”). #justsaying
7. Put a “Timer” on Your Worries Too
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Roy T. Bennett once said, “Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.” Marcus Aurelius once said, “Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” The Dalai Lama XIV once said, “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
And do you know what all of these quotes have in common? A reminder to not be a control freak and to be more flexible in life. Now, is worrying normal? It is. However, what I will tell you from very up close and personal experience is a lot of ego is caught up in worry because, essentially, we’re trying to control what oftentimes can’t be controlled. Once humility comes into play, once you accept that all you can do is your best, once you don’t try to create every “puzzle piece” of a particular overall picture, you’ll be amazed at how calm you become.
I didn’t say that you’ll like or understand what’s going on; I’m just saying that you won’t be trying to do more than what you can — or should. Even biblical Scripture says, "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?" (Matthew 6:25 — NKJV) So, if something has you worried right now, say to yourself, “I’m going to semi-obsess over this for 30 minutes, and then I’m going to just do my best and let it go.” It’s the hack of all hacks. Try it and see.
8. Turn Off Your Notifications for Half of the Day
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I seriously doubt that any of you are surprised to know that almost 60 percent of Americans think that folks are far too addicted to their phones. To prove that point, I once read that most of us tend to look at our phones as much as 144 times a day. SMDH. And in between constantly staring at your screen and then hearing (or feeling if they’re set on vibrate) your notifications going off — it’s no wonder you and others are feeling more stressed out and distracted than ever.
That’s why, at the very least, consider turning your notifications off for half of the day — at least when it comes to your social media accounts. Very few of my notifications make a sound, and life is good that way. And honestly, whatever someone wants me to know (or I’m being nosy about), it’ll be there when I get around to it. The earth isn’t going to crumble if it’s not immediately. TRUST ME.
9. Get into a Yoga Position (or Two)
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If stress, anxiety, or even depression-related symptoms are something that you struggle with, you might want to sign up for a yoga class. Science has proven that yoga can help to create calm and clarity, and it can even help to center you. And what if you are feeling low or somewhat off-kilter and you need an immediate boost? Yoga poses like the Upward Salute, the Modified Child Pose, and the Easy Pose (all of which are demonstrated here) are ones that you can easily do wherever you are — whether you have a yoga instructor around or not.
10. Buy Yourself Some Flowers
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Something that I used to do, that I really need to get back into the habit of doing, is buying myself a bouquet of fresh flowers. It used to be a practice of mine to pick some up every Friday, and it has just…slipped away from me lately. Aside from the fact that doing it makes me feel pretty and feminine, science backs the mental health benefits of flowers.
Research says that flowers can immediately make you feel happier, and if you’re feeling a lil’ stressed out, they can help you to feel calmer as well. And even though pretty much any floral arrangement can help you out in this department, if you’re curious about what different blooms represent, there is a very comprehensive list that you can check out here.
11. Do Something for Someone Else. Anonymously.
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King Solomon once said, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners.” (Proverbs 1:19 — NKJV) When it comes to money and resources, greed, hoarding, or selfishness has never been my thing. I like to give (I very rarely loan; that too can lead to unnecessary stress) in part because it’s fun to see how the universe will give back — and it never ceases to amaze.
Anyway, as far as mental health goes, studies reveal that doing for others increases your self-esteem levels, reduces your stress, puts you in a better mood, and can make you feel happier overall. So, why not do something thoughtful for someone else today? Oh, and try to do it anonymously. It’s a good gut check to make sure that you really are giving out of the goodness of your heart and not some sort of mercenary (or ego) based agenda — or shoot, stratagem.
12. Honor Yourself
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It’s pretty difficult to have good mental health if you don’t prioritize yourself and your own needs. That’s why I decided to close this out by simply saying that it’s REALLY IMPORTANT, CRITICAL EVEN, to honor yourself. What I mean by that is you need to do the things that honor defines: you need to move with honesty and integrity (especially when it comes to yourself), you need to treat yourself with the utmost level of self-respect, and you need to act like you are a privilege to know and be around.
Some articles that can help you to do all of these things include “8 Ways To Be So Much Kinder To Yourself. Starting Today.,” “12 Ways To Be Far More Self-Compassionate Every Day,” and “10 Hacks To Give You More Quality Time. With Yourself.”
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Your mental health is paramount. Hopefully, these tips will help you to get where you want to be, mentally and emotionally, because, being in a good headspace? That is something that you absolutely deserve, sis. 1000 percent.
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