

From Summer Flings To Boo'd Up Bliss: 10 Songs That Give Big 'Cuff It' Season Energy
Admit it, you have a playlist for everything. You have a playlist for when you're in your car, and driving on the way to a bar. You have a playlist for when you're in the shower, or when you have to relax for an hour. You have a playlist for getting ready for bed, a playlist for when you want to get some-- you have a playlist for everything. Almost everything, that is. Chances are, you've probably overlooked one of the autumn season's most crucial musical collections: the cuffing season playlist.
Though in your defense how were you to know? The season falls awkwardly between the summer and the holidays, so it is sometimes utterly forgotten until lighthearted romances need to be explained and cuddling becomes essential (cue "Big Boy" by SZA).
Fear not, however, as I have created a playlist for you that is designed to ring in the new season in the classiest manner possible. You'll have a soundtrack this season to help you remember all of the good, and sometimes bad, times for when the trees begin to thaw out and the buds have started to bloom. Here are your top ten songs to add to your cuffing season playlist.
"Banana Clip" - Miguel
Try singing this song without smiling, I dare you.
What a beautifully written song that portrays the joy that a romantic journey may provide and the necessity one feels to protect that exuberance. The R&B hit "Banana Clip" feels like happiness, passion, and a little bit of fairy dust. It wonderfully portrays the tingling, fluttering emotions you get when you have a crush and/or are perhaps falling in love. Miguel paints an image of someone who has at last found the person they can rely on, be open, grow, and fly to new heights with.
Using several allusions to weapons, missiles, and other multiple military motifs throughout the song, the R&B musician explores the lengths he will go to protect the love he has finally found. The song produces a more captivating embrace than its allusions do and due to its exquisite harmonies, finely layered vocal arrangement, and funky tempo, this melodic embrace is perfect for falling in love with.
"Hello Love" - Jessie Ware
The opening of "Hello Love" has a summery vibe about it. It reminds me of a period of time when people felt too hot to continue in monogamous relationships, so they ended them in a roaring fire and went back to their old ways. However, by the time the bridge appears, it feels like the steadiness of fall, and the lovers have returned to one another a bit battered and bruised, but with brand-new insights that can only be discovered after they have been burnt a few times too many during their period of singledom.
Jessie Ware's sweet song "Hello Love" is like a breath of fresh air when one realizes something that has been so evident. It feels as though one has finally found the love that one can only experience upon coming home after a long, laborious journey abroad.
"Waste My Time" - Ari Lennox
Ari Lennox's song "Waste My Time" is ideal for the cuffing season, as the song urges her lover to back up their words while squandering her time. In contrast to songs written in the past, "Waste My Time" aggressively requires Ari Lennox to realize the probable outcomes of her request and to be ready for any inevitable adversarial impacts that may follow.
She understands that there can be a satisfying reward to allowing herself to make judgments that don't always bring the best results. Nevertheless, the benefits of this arrangement outweigh any potential negative outcome that is destined to happen when the season finally concludes.
"Come to My Room" - Jesse Boykins III
Even though it might be nice to have someone flirt with you all night, there comes a time when you wish they would stop and express their true desires. This song exemplifies just that. "Come to My Room," is audacious, assured, slick, and sickeningly endearing. With an invitation to his bedroom, Boykins invites his love to see things she has never seen before. Embodying a seducer with his smoky, featherlight, and lulling vocals, he offers to show his love the stars, the universe, and so much more.
Expertly, he strikes a balance between being demanding and beguiling, as he sings over an acoustic guitar and enticing backup vocals. Concluding by promising a pleasurable evening that is full of unending happiness and tenderness, "Come to My Room" makes for the perfect opening number of the soundtrack to your cuffing season.
"P*$$Y Fairy (OTW)" - Jhené Aiko
Another song about an intimate relationship is Jhené's sensual and seductive song "PU$$Y Fairy (OTW)." Throughout the tune, she arouses the desire, pleasure, and physical tension that both people feel and experience during a sexual encounter. The sensual jam, in which Jhené flirts sexily with a lover, is perfect for the season and captivating your new suitor.
This song, like "Come to My Room," succeeds because of its assurance and capacity to convince the listener's crush that complying with their demands and suggestions. Although both songs are specific, they both have unwavering faith in their capacity to suggest meaningful, private times with one another.
"Rocket" - Beyoncé
We don't speak about this song nearly as often as we should. We loved it when it originally came out, but lately we've forgotten how stunning this Beyoncé masterpiece with backing vocals from Miguel and Justin Timberlake is. From Beyoncé's self-titled album, "Rocket," a six-minute slow R&B ballad, is a sex jam that begins with the singer doing a lap dance and progresses into a night of sexual puns on the terms "rock" and "rocket" as she sings about having sex.
This D'Angelo-inspired song brilliantly captures the passion experienced by two people when romance is in full flow. In addition to exploring female sexuality, this song creates a sensuous ballad that would be comforting in any atmosphere on these chilly winter nights.
"After Last Night (w/ Thundercat & Bootsy Collins)" - Silk Sonic
Lately, I've grown uninterested when people recommend Bruno Mars' music. It is unclear where he stands in terms of appropriation and appreciation, and occasionally his romantic gestures come out as a little cheesy. However, the song "After Last Night," performed by Anderson .Paak and Bruno Mars as the pair Silk Sonic, demonstrates exactly how great they both are. The guys sing in this ballad about having a passionate, earth-shattering night with their loves and then falling in love with them.
The lyrics of this song, which croon and yell as if pleading for the woman's return, ask when they will be able to see her once more. The song is amusing and beautifully expresses how you feel when the person you intended to see for one night ends up staying for much longer. This song strikes the ideal balance between romantic musings and lighthearted conversation, making it deserving of a spot on your cuffing season playlist.
"Coastin'" - Victoria Monét
"Feels like a Thursday how I'm throwing it back."
Even if it seems a little bit like summer, "Coastin'" is the perfect song for the season since it is, in three words, sweet, delightful, and witty. The tune's '70s-inspired sound perfectly captures the laid-back mood, creating an incredibly assured track to glide in the direction of one's affection. There is a sun-like aspect to this song. It mirrors the sensation of having a crush, but without the anxiety that might accompany it. Instead, it has the lovely familiarity you have when you think you've known your love for ages. You are totally in a trance when you finally feel understood.
"Will I See You Again?" - Thee Sacred Souls
Everybody is questioning their lovers, "Will I See You Again?" during this time of connection and hibernation. In this song, it is often asked whether the sweethearts would return to one another after they have spent time apart. Although not in a demanding manner, the song questions if the two are truly in love or just infatuated superficially.
As the song progresses, the singers grow fonder of their lover and plead for a hardline to be inserted into the relationship while simultaneously wooing their loves by demonstrating how really "good" they can be. The song is endearing and a great complement to a season when many people are looking to settle down, but not just with anybody.
"In the Morning" - Marzz
There are times when I'm listening to this song and I don't pay attention to the message it's trying to convey. Why? I'm preoccupied, I guess. It could be the chorus and bridge's Erykah Badu-like coo. It could be the way Marzz layers her voice to give them a beseeching and longing sensual feeling. It may even be the second verse's sudden finish and rapid progression shift.
Regardless, Marzz's song "In the Morning" explores the largest and most evident danger associated with participating in this season of cuffing: falling in love and having that love rejected. Be sure of where you stand before participating in the seasonal games. Otherwise, you'll be left wondering why the season didn't go on forever and what to do when you wake up in the morning after it's over.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Westend61/Getty Images
Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
Kimora Lee Simmons Shares Concerns About Daughter Aoki's Modeling Career In ‘Cutthroat Industry’
Kimora Lee Simmons has been ripping the runway and defining streetwear culture for decades, and with her daughter, Aoki Lee Simmons, blazing a trail of her own, the supermodel is imparting a few gems to guide her along the way.
During this year’s Teen Vogue Summit 2023, Kimora joined her daughter Aoki in a conversation about navigating the modeling industry and fostering her children’s dreams.
Kimora shares how she’s been able to joyfully watch as her daughter achieves her greatest goals over the years, including becoming Teen Vogue’s September 2023 cover star. In doing so, the runway star reflects on the natural instinct of mothers to desire success for their children but expresses her commitment to letting her daughters make mistakes while providing support.
"It's a mom's natural instinct to want to impose your expectations on your kids. But I'm learning to let my kids make their mistakes and serve as their support,” Kimora shared. “As a mom, there's no one-size-fits-all approach. I just try my best and make sure that the wisdom I pass down comes from a good source."
The Baby Phat founder went on to express concerns about her daughter Aoki's modeling career, fearing she may encounter the “cutthroat” nature of the industry that can cause those within it to feel like they’re not “enough.”
With this in mind, she often reminds Aoki, “to understand that in life you will face rejection because this industry can be so cutthroat. For some, you won't be cool enough, tall enough, or petite enough. I've definitely had my ugly duckling days."
(L-R) Ming Lee Simmons, Aoki Lee Simmons and Kimora Lee Simmons attend the Prabal Gurung show during New York Fashion Week: The Show.
Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for NYFW: The Shows
Although the fashion mogul has managed to balance being in the public eye since she began her modeling career at the age of 13, along with motherhood and running an era-shaping clothing brand, it’s apparent that Kimora understands the importance of staying grounded. “Truly, who even cares?! Easier said than done. I never want her to have to deal with that part of the industry but all I can do is prepare her,” she says.
When you’ve been in the fashion game long enough to set the trends and see them come full circle, it’s natural to desire a level of evolution within the space — from the clothes to the culture. And while Kimora has seen how far the industry has come, she hopes for greater inclusion and support within the industry; especially for women of color.
“Fashion is an ever-changing industry with the same pitfalls. For women of color specifically, it's changed so much but we still have so far to go,” she says. “These brands claim to always have been so inclusive but that doesn't always pan out to be true. I wish people would practice what they preach.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Vivien Killilea/Getty Images for Teen Vogue