6 Tips For Making It Through Cuffing Season When You're Uncuffed
'Tis the season. Yes, it's that time of year that many people like to refer to as "cuffing season" – when you're "cuffed" up and cuddled up with someone during the long fall and winter months.
While it sounds good and we can all agree that it feels really good to have someone to hold and stay warm with during cuffing season, let's be real… Unfortunately, during this time, for some singles (not all) who aren't "cuffed up" with anyone or in a committed relationship – whether by choice or force – it's common to feel some type of way.
You may start to feel overwhelmingly dismal, discontent, frustrated, or brokenhearted – especially when you're scrolling through your social media timelines and you notice all the pictures, stories, and updates showing off things like "#HolidayWithBae," or marriage proposals and engagements. At least, that's how I used to feel sometimes when I was single.
If you're starting to feel like that and are already planning or prepared to be a "party of one" this cuffing season, just know that you are not alone. We've all been there, and there are plenty of other people who can relate.
The good news is that you've been through tougher stuff than this, and you WILL make it through. Plus, I've got you covered with these six tips and ideas to help you make it through cuffing season.
Take Advantage Of The “Me” Time
There's no better time to make it all about yourself than when you're by yourself. Cuffing season is traditionally known for cuddling with and catering to someone else, but it's also a great time to cater to yourself and make yourself a priority. Why not use this time to pamper yourself and do some things that you've been putting off for some time, all the while without having to consider someone else?
You could explore new adventures, do a photo shoot, or try something new. Or, you know that thing you wake up and go to sleep thinking about? Like: going back to school or getting certified, starting a business, starting a new career, pursuing your dream of becoming an entertainer, building a brand, writing a book, or starting a non-profit. It's the perfect time to make those dreams a reality.
*Originally published on shondabrownwhite.com
Featured image by Getty Images
- Urban Dictionary: Cuffing Season ›
- A Survival Guide to Skipping Cuffing Season | Complex ›
- A Look at the Science of Cuffing Season - Tonic ›
- A Guide To Cuffing Season ›
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- Your Guide To Cuffing Season, In 8 Simple Charts | HuffPost ›
- 7 Signs Your Relationship Won't Survive "Cuffing Season" ›
- Forget Cuffing Season, We're in 'Clearing Season' Now - VICE ›
- If You're Single During Cuffing Season, Here Are 3 Ways To Cope ›
- 8 Ways To Make The Most Of Cuffing Season | SELF ›
Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social @ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images