'Tis the season. Yes, it's that time of year that many people like to refer to as "cuffing season" – when you're "cuffed" up and cuddled up with someone during the long fall and winter months.
While it sounds good and we can all agree that it feels really good to have someone to hold and stay warm with during cuffing season, let's be real… Unfortunately, during this time, for some singles (not all) who aren't "cuffed up" with anyone or in a committed relationship – whether by choice or force – it's common to feel some type of way.
You may start to feel overwhelmingly dismal, discontent, frustrated, or brokenhearted – especially when you're scrolling through your social media timelines and you notice all the pictures, stories, and updates showing off things like "#HolidayWithBae," or marriage proposals and engagements. At least, that's how I used to feel sometimes when I was single.
If you're starting to feel like that and are already planning or prepared to be a "party of one" this cuffing season, just know that you are not alone. We've all been there, and there are plenty of other people who can relate.
The good news is that you've been through tougher stuff than this, and you WILL make it through. Plus, I've got you covered with these six tips and ideas to help you make it through cuffing season.
Take Advantage Of The “Me” Time
There's no better time to make it all about yourself than when you're by yourself. Cuffing season is traditionally known for cuddling with and catering to someone else, but it's also a great time to cater to yourself and make yourself a priority. Why not use this time to pamper yourself and do some things that you've been putting off for some time, all the while without having to consider someone else?
You could explore new adventures, do a photo shoot, or try something new. Or, you know that thing you wake up and go to sleep thinking about? Like: going back to school or getting certified, starting a business, starting a new career, pursuing your dream of becoming an entertainer, building a brand, writing a book, or starting a non-profit. It's the perfect time to make those dreams a reality.
*Originally published on shondabrownwhite.com
Featured image by Getty Images
- Urban Dictionary: Cuffing Season ›
- A Survival Guide to Skipping Cuffing Season | Complex ›
- A Look at the Science of Cuffing Season - Tonic ›
- A Guide To Cuffing Season ›
- Someone made an entire Cuffing Season map so if you're alone in ... ›
- Your Guide To Cuffing Season, In 8 Simple Charts | HuffPost ›
- 7 Signs Your Relationship Won't Survive "Cuffing Season" ›
- Forget Cuffing Season, We're in 'Clearing Season' Now - VICE ›
- If You're Single During Cuffing Season, Here Are 3 Ways To Cope ›
- 8 Ways To Make The Most Of Cuffing Season | SELF ›
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"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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And although everything from age and hormonal imbalances to stress/anxiety and even low self-esteem can play a role in why climaxing can be difficult, after touring with an organization that dealt with porn and sex addiction for almost 10 years, having countless sessions with married women and also researching and writing on sex for over two decades at this point, what I realize hasn’t been discussed enough is that a lot of women can have orgasms — just not vaginal ones via intercourse (check out “Ladies, Please Stop Pressuring Yourself Over Vaginal Orgasms”).
The next thing that should be brought up more in the discourse is the fact that many women have orgasms — they’re just not always earth-shattering ones (like the ones that you feel when you have, say, a blended orgasm).
Today, we’re going to hone in on the latter point. If you know (that you know that you know) that you have orgasms yet the more intense ones don’t happen nearly as often as you would like, there is something that you can do that has been proven to help you out — and the title of this piece is a huge hint as far as what that is. #wink
How Does Weed Help to Create More and Better Orgasms?
GiphyWeed and sex being a cool combination is not something that I haven’t addressed before. A few years back, I penned a piece for the site entitled, “7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better.” So, why did I feel the need to write this one too? Because I think all of us (who’ve had sex before) can vouch for the fact that you can have a wonderful sexual experience and still not have an orgasm or the kind of orgasm that you’d prefer to have. And when that is indeed the case, well, something that can help you out is yep, marijuana.
For starters, did you know that there are literal studies to support that weed can help women to have more frequent orgasms? Yep. One article that I read stated that out of almost 400 people surveyed, 52 percent said that they had trouble climaxing; however, after a bit of weed use, orgasm frequency increased by almost 73 percent, orgasm satisfaction by 67 percent, and the ability to have orgasms more easily increased by 71 percent.
And since some of these individuals deal with something known as female orgasmic disorder (FOD), because the findings are so significant, there are some states that are actually pushing for FOD to qualify for medical marijuana treatment. Yep, that’s how effective weed use is proving itself to be in this realm.
So, just what is it about weed that makes climaxing a more probable experience for so many of us? For one thing, weed is seen as an aphrodisiac by many individuals. One reason is that it contains properties that help to relax your system as well as intensify the sexual experiences that you have by literally helping to make them feel more pleasurable.
Some studies also reveal that weed use can lower your inhibitions and increase the amount of time you spend engaging in foreplay too. If you add to that the fact that weed also amplifies the sense of touch — well, I’m sure that you get how all of this combined can help you to have not just more but better quality orgasms, for sure.
How to Effectively Bring Weed into Your Sexual Experiences
GiphySo, now that you know all of this, I’m sure some of you are wondering how to bring marijuana into your boudoir in a responsibly effective kind of way. Good question. For one thing, it’s definitely best to start off in small amounts (if you’ve never experienced weed before); you can probably do this best with edibles because many of them are sold in pre-dosed amounts. In fact, although you might think that, when it comes to weed consumption, “the more the merrier,” the reality is actually that overdoing it could decrease your libido instead of elevate it.
Also, it’s a good idea to remember that while CBD is good for ointments and creams that can help to reduce anxiety before sex or enhance afterplay (check out “Sure, Your Foreplay Game Is On Point. Now What About The ‘Afterplay’?”), THC — the active ingredient that is responsible for getting you “high” — is what has a stronger reputation for making sex itself a more pleasurable experience; especially as far as women go. So, what you might want to do is start out with something like a chocolate edible (since it also is an aphrodisiac) with a low amount of THC in it along with a CBD-based lubricant.
Just make sure to keep in mind that edibles can bea bit unpredictable (as far as how high you will get and how soon along with how you will feel once you come down from the high experience), plus, their effects tend to last longer than smoking (edible highs can sometimes last six or more hours while smoking ones are around four or more) — so, if it’s your first time trying all of this out, a night before going to work isn’t a good idea; wait until the weekend instead.
On the other hand, if you’d consider yourself to be a bit of a “weed pro” at this point, you might want to experiment with some different strains of weed. Ones that are somewhat popular in the sexual stimuli department contain what is called limonene. It is actually a chemical that isfound in citrus fruit; however, when it’s combined with weed, not only can it help the weed to taste better, but it canelevate your mood, reduce your stress, andgive your libido and energy levels a bit of a boost as well.
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Listen, if there’s one thing that I’m gonna do, it’s provide a hack to make sex better for you — and there is just too much data out in these streets to not shout out weed as far as achieving quality orgasms go.
That said, if weed ain’t your thing, don’t force it to be just because you read this. There are other ways to have amazing orgasms (check out “15 Women Share Their Personal Hacks For Better Orgasms (And Sex Overall)”). Oh, but if it is (or if you’ve always been curious about it), why not approach cannabis from a strictly sexual angle? At the very least, you’ll get a bit of a euphoric feel. At the most, you’ll have an avenue to experience more of the orgasms that you crave.
Hell, sounds like a win/win to me, sis.
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