

Knowing Your Self-Worth Is The Ultimate F*ckboy Repellent
It's over and you are lowkey devastated. Whether it was a situationship, you were ghosted, you've broken up from a long term relationship, or are in the process of ending your current one, you are shattered and confused. You have valid feelings of past hurt. But let me tell you some hard truths: no matter how much you glow up, there will still be ghosters, clowns, and players in your dating pooI. Beloved, relationships are not supposed to feel like emotional roller-coasters and when you let them continue that way, you are letting someone capitalize off of your lack of self-worth.
You really have to dig deep and ask yourself a very important question: What was the bigger problem, his inadequacy or my lack of self-worth?
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Aren't you tired? Like honestly aren't you exhausted with giving up your power, your body, your time to someone's son just for him to give you the runaround? Sit down, get a pen and pad, and let's do some work. Equip yourself with some highly potent f*ckboy repellant and remind yourself of your value with these tips:
Stop Chasing Him And Remember That You're The Prize
Why you let him bother you when you knew he didn't want you?!
We often take a man becoming distant or seizing contact altogether as an open invitation to start hustling for our worth.Though this is a somewhat natural reaction, it is often rooted in a deep down belief that you are not enough.
You've convinced yourself that that there is not an abundance of men who can offer you a fulfilling relationship, so you continue to cling to this broken one. This is not how a high value woman handles relationships and dating! You know why? She knows that a relationship is worth having is not worth losing her composure and self-respect over.
The right man will complement your life, not complicate it.
GIFER
Think about it, when you walk into the Louis Vuitton store and you can't afford that bag, do they lower their prices? Do they chase you around the store, trying to haggle? No! They tell you to come back when you're ready and go help the next customer. You have to get to that point with your heart: if he can't afford to work on a healthy relationship with you, allow yourself the space to welcome someone who will. The inability for him to see your worth does not lower your value.
Action Tip: Write down your relationship boundaries and detail behaviors that you will not accept. For example, mention any abuse, emotional dishonesty, or inconsistency you've experienced.
Define The Kind Of Love You Think You Deserve
Many of us have been socialized to think not what a man can offer us, but what we can offer to a man. Do you know what you are looking for? Because once you do, when a clown is pursuing you, you will be able to differentiate him from Mr. Right or even his fine cousin Mr.Almost Right.
Do you think that you deserve a relationship where you don't have to compromise your value? This is not a question of your worth but of your perception of it. Do you really believe that you deserve a man who is healthy for you spiritually, physically, emotionally, and who is financially stable and that he's out there looking for you? If so, i'm pretty sure you would not be entertaining Mr. Can't Afford To Take You Out This Weekend for the 3rd time in the row.
You accept the love you think that you deserve sis, and what you accept will continue.
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You will keep on meeting the same man in different bodies until you get crystal clear on what it is that you are looking for. Dating without clear standards is like grocery shopping while you're starving: you heighten the possibility of walking out with something unhealthy that was never in your intentions.
Action Tip: Write out the non-superficial qualities that you are looking for in a man. For example, do you want someone who is supportive of support of your endeavors and has the desire and ability to spend quality time with you? Do you want a partner who encourages you to get out of your comfort zone? Be intentional about choosing someone who can speak to you in your love language.
Determine If Your Desire For Love Is Making You An Easy Target For Fraud
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Love bombing is one of the most devastating and traumatic dating experiences you can encounter is often seen in combination with ghosting or breadcrumbing (where a man pulls back his affection and level of interest in a relationship until all you have left is crumbs).
Love bombing is exactly what it sounds like, a person coming into your life like a whirlwind showering you with attention and affection, gifts, and over the top gestures that makes your poor little heart explode. Things move very fast, this person starts planning a future with you, is in constant communication with you, but once you get comfortable, the rug is pulled from underneath your feet and he changes up. Sounds like a scam right? Because it is! And the most beautiful and intelligent women fall for it because a basic human desire, to love and be loved, is being used against you. A solution to this is examining your life and figuring out where the holes in your heart hide so that you can fill them up yourself.
Fill your cup until it runneth over and then let a man add some flavor! Make your life a three-course meal and allowing him to be your dessert, not your entree.
GIFER
Action Tip: Write down the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable, and realize that these are not facts, sis. Starting working on embracing you. Love yourself, or nobody else can. Finally, write the parts of your life you want to improve and get to work, sis.
In the words of Iyanla Vanzant, "Love yourself so that love won't be a stranger when it comes."
I can't promise that these tips will help you find the love of your life tomorrow but they will greatly reduce the energy you expend on the wrong relationships and help you put your value before your desire to cuffed this season. Cheers!
Featured image by Shutterstock
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New Jersey native creating a life that she loves while living in gratitude. She loves using beauty, and fashion to create a balanced lifestyle while prioritizing wellness. A devoted fur mom, and a full-time lover of laughter. She is out for revenge against the darkness by being light, taking her own advice, traveling the world, and letting you know that you are so lit! Connect with her via IG @iamzaniah and please visit Zaniahsworld.com
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
We all have a dream life that we spend our free time daydreaming about. You know, the one with a loving partner, high-rise apartment, thriving career, and endless abundance. But as much as we can dream about it, there has to be a little extra sprinkle of “magic” to make it become a reality, and that’s when manifestation comes in.
The uptick in manifestation techniques is nothing new to the internet. Since The Secret and the Law of Attraction became available on YouTube in the early 2010s and fast forward to today, where #manifestationtok and #spiritualtok surging in popularity, it’s clear that there are a number of different ways to get what you want out of life with the right action, affirmation, and visualization.
Still, with so many ways to manifest, from scripting to the 3-6-9 Method, it can be hard to know which one to lean into. But there’s one new technique that’s promising to yield “instant results,” and we’re curious about it.
The "I Am Sure" Manifestation
@hothighpriestess Replying to @A I M E E 🖤 lG: hothighpriestess 🤍 this is the “I am sure” method #iamsuremethod
The “I Am Sure” manifestation gained traction this summer by TikTok creator Sara Perl of @hothighpriestess, who initially introduced the method.
In her original video breaking down the concept, she detailed the steps to use the technique for those looking to “manifest overnight.” To do so, start by stating “I am sure,” followed by “your desired manifestation in the present tense.” If there’s a job, promotion, or text from a crush that you want, then you’d say, “I am sure that I got X job,” or “I am sure that I make a $100K salary.” Repeat this out loud 10 times, or for faster results, write them down on a piece of paper and say it back to yourself whenever the desire comes up.
Using your words and speaking in the present tense, affirmatively, “puts you in the frequency that has that desire,” as Perl states. “We know our thoughts create our reality, but our words create our reality even faster.”
No matter how you choose to manifest your dream life, there’s nothing like channeling a powerful affirmation and some faith to get what you desire. In every instance, though, allow yourself to dismiss any doubt that may try to cloud your hopes in good things coming into your life, and don’t hold too tightly onto the “how” or “when.” Trust the process and know that the “thing” that you desire is just waiting for the perfect time to enter your life.
Happy manifesting.
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Featured image by Tassii/Getty Images