

Reclaim Your Personal Power With The 7 Feminine Archetypes
In an ironic twist of social discourse, recent conversations around femininity have been largely led by masculine voices. With popular male internet figureheads claiming stake in the discussion of what femininity, softness, and womanly expression should look like, it’s left the definition to become a byproduct of the masculine perspective.
But walking in one’s true feminine energy is much more complex and unique than simply being defined by what masculinity isn’t. It’s intuitive and creative, seductive and nurturing, strong yet, surrendering. And while femininity may be the common thread that connects all women, it’s dualistic enough to present itself in more than one fashion.
As women actively reclaim what femininity means and embark on their feminine journey, it’s important to have a roadmap to guide you along your path.
“Femininity is just the aspect of connecting to your womanly essence — but you can be deeply in your masculine energy and still be connected to femininity,” says Sola, the creator of Solelectra and The Feminine Frequency Podcast.
For the TikTok creator and faith-based femininity coach, embarking on the feminine path comes down to one’s ability to relinquish control and surrender to life’s divine offerings. “When one embarks on the feminine path, it’s your collective commitment to surrendering to the unknown,” she tells xoNecole. “The more that you have the ability to surrender and let go of your addiction to control, the more you're polarized towards your feminine energy.”
Sola first began the practice of discovering her feminine path after she found herself in need to control the dynamics of a past relationship. When the relationship ended, she sat with God to reflect on how she could better herself from the shortcoming she experienced during the involvement. “God was telling me that in order for the dynamics in the relationship to function, there needs to be duality,” she reflects. “Two people can't be in their feminine, and two people can't be in their masculine.”
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Because of our collective demonization of the masculine, it can feel shameful to not present your femininity in a dainty or frilly manner, but you shouldn’t suppress your divine design. “It doesn't matter how much pampering you do, you're still in your masculine. It's this core aspect of your being,” Sola says.
Many of us spend years living outside of our unique, feminine design to fit into societal boxes, but understanding where you land in the full range of feminine expression can help you unlock your feminine potential on a deeper level. Originally based on the framework of archetypes by Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, psychiatrist Jean Shinoda Bolen defined several archetypes of womanhood that are specifically associated with femininity — and they include:
The 7 Feminine Archetypes
- The Mother: represents nurturing, compassion, and unconditional love. It is often associated with the biological mother but can also manifest in other forms of caregiving.
- The Maiden: represents a youthful spirit, optimism, and vivacity. It is associated with the stage of life before marriage and motherhood.
- The Queen: represents leadership, sovereignty, and power. It is associated with mature femininity and the ability to rule with grace and compassion.
- The Huntress (also known as The Wild Woman): represents independence, strength, and self-reliance. It is associated with the ability to protect and provide for oneself.
- The Sage (also known as The Wise Woman): represents wisdom, intuition, and spiritual insight. It is associated with the ability to see beyond the material world and to connect with the divine.
- The Mystic: represents a connection with the spiritual world, mystical experiences, and an innate focus on her inner world and solitude.
- The Lover: represents magnetism, presence, and sensuality. It is associated with sexual energy and an appreciation for love, beauty, and ease.
Each archetype is directly connected to their core desire in life — with the more masculine archetypes being hyperfocused on leaving a mark and providing structure, as the more feminine archetypes are more drawn to connecting to others and embarking on some spiritual journey.
Sola shares that when it comes to finding your archetype, read through each one and see which ones you find yourself being intuitively drawn to,in order to determine your best match.
If you take The 13 Feminine Seduction Archetypes™ test, curated by the late Ayesha K. Faines, and find that you fall into a more masculine-leaning archetype, Sola encourages you to lean into the polarity and not deny the nature of your being.
“I do believe God created certain women to be more polarized to their masculine energy. That doesn't mean they can't connect to their femininity, but it all comes back to you being really honest about what is motivating your heart's desires and what is it that you actually truly seek in this world,” she continues.
From her experience, gaining a deeper connection with her feminine energy has benefited her on a personal, professional, and social level because “everything starts with the heart.” If you desire to build more meaningful relationships with others and yourself, moving with a heart-centered approach is far more rewarding than insisting on leading from a place of control or insecurity.
“You have to really check your heart and see where it's coming from,” she shares. “Because when you're coming from a place of loneliness and operating out of insecurity, you can find yourself having an unhealthy approach to creating community, getting into a relationship, and making friends. We must shift our hearts out of a place of lack — because we’re tapping into the current of God, which is love. If you’re tapping into the current of force, that’s the opposite of love.”
For women who are looking to incorporate new practices that can help connect them with their feminine energy, Sola says to walk by faith and relinquish the need for control. Finding hobbies that require you to not have an end goal in mind — like freestyle dance classes or roller skating, can be healthy ways to get your mind in the practice of relinquishing control and receiving the flow of what’s in the present moment.
“Being in your feminine is allowing yourself to be in the constant state of receiving the present moment. There's no goal. There's nothing you're trying to get,” she says. “It's surrendering to the flow of creativity and life in general.”
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Victoria Monét Opens Up About Feeling ‘Validated’ Months After VMAs Turned Her Down To Perform
Victoria Monét has had an incredible year. Thanks to the success of the widely popular “On My Mama” that went viral, the singer/ songwriter’s Jaguar II album debuted in the top 10 of Billboard’s Top R&B Albums chart. She also went on to headline her own sold-out tour. So, when the MTV VMAs happened in September, everyone was surprised to learn that Victoria’s team was told that it was “too early” for the “Smoke” artist to perform at the award show. However, a couple of months later, the mom of one received seven Grammy nominations, including “Best R&B Album” and “Record Of The Year.”
Victoria is currently in London and stopped by The Dotty Show on Apple Music and shared how she feels “validated” after being dismissed by the VMAs.
“It really does feel nice and validating because, in my head, the reason why I wanted to be a performer at the VMAs or award ceremonies like that is because I felt like I am at the place where I should. I would work really hard to put on the best show that I could, and I was excited to do so,” she said.
“And I guess the best way to describe it for me is like when you're like on a sports team, and the coach is like, ‘No, you gotta sit this one out.’ When they finally put you in, and then you score all these points, and it feels like that feeling. You're like, yes, I knew it wasn't tripping, but I knew I worked hard for this, and so it's been super validating to just have these accolades come after a moment like that, and I know the fans feel vindicated for me.
While her fans called the VMAs out on their decision, the “Moment” singer kept it cute and is still open to performing at the iconic award show. “I feel no ill towards them because it's just maybe that's just truly how they felt at the time, but I hope their mind has changed,” she admitted.
Aside from recognition from the Grammys, she has also received praise from legendary artists such as Janet Jackson, Kelly Rowland, and Usher.
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Feature image by Amy Sussman/WireImage for Parkwood