Reclaim Your Personal Power With The 7 Feminine Archetypes
In an ironic twist of social discourse, recent conversations around femininity have been largely led by masculine voices. With popular male internet figureheads claiming stake in the discussion of what femininity, softness, and womanly expression should look like, it’s left the definition to become a byproduct of the masculine perspective.
But walking in one’s true feminine energy is much more complex and unique than simply being defined by what masculinity isn’t. It’s intuitive and creative, seductive and nurturing, strong yet, surrendering. And while femininity may be the common thread that connects all women, it’s dualistic enough to present itself in more than one fashion.
As women actively reclaim what femininity means and embark on their feminine journey, it’s important to have a roadmap to guide you along your path.
What Is Feminine Energy? The 7 Feminine Archetypes
“Femininity is just the aspect of connecting to your womanly essence — but you can be deeply in your masculine energy and still be connected to femininity,” says Sola, the creator of Solelectra and The Feminine Frequency Podcast.
For the TikTok creator and faith-based femininity coach, embarking on the feminine path comes down to one’s ability to relinquish control and surrender to life’s divine offerings. “When one embarks on the feminine path, it’s your collective commitment to surrendering to the unknown,” she tells xoNecole. “The more that you have the ability to surrender and let go of your addiction to control, the more you're polarized towards your feminine energy.”
Sola first began the practice of discovering her feminine path after she found herself in need to control the dynamics of a past relationship. When the relationship ended, she sat with God to reflect on how she could better herself from the shortcoming she experienced during the involvement. “God was telling me that in order for the dynamics in the relationship to function, there needs to be duality,” she reflects. “Two people can't be in their feminine, and two people can't be in their masculine.”
@solelectra 3 Ways to Financially THRIVE as The “Creative Romantic” archetype. #SATC #carriebradshaw #femininearchetypes #levelup #hypergamy
Because of our collective demonization of the masculine, it can feel shameful to not present your femininity in a dainty or frilly manner, but you shouldn’t suppress your divine design. “It doesn't matter how much pampering you do, you're still in your masculine. It's this core aspect of your being,” Sola says.
The 7 Feminine Archetypes, Explained.
Many of us spend years living outside of our unique, feminine design to fit into societal boxes, but understanding where you land in the full range of feminine expression can help you unlock your feminine potential on a deeper level. Originally based on the framework of archetypes by Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, psychiatrist Jean Shinoda Bolen defined several archetypes of womanhood that are specifically associated with femininity — and they include:
What Are the 7 Feminine Archetypes?
- The Mother: represents nurturing, compassion, and unconditional love. It is often associated with the biological mother but can also manifest in other forms of caregiving.
- The Maiden: represents a youthful spirit, optimism, and vivacity. It is associated with the stage of life before marriage and motherhood.
- The Queen: represents leadership, sovereignty, and power. It is associated with mature femininity and the ability to rule with grace and compassion.
- The Huntress (also known as The Wild Woman): represents independence, strength, and self-reliance. It is associated with the ability to protect and provide for oneself.
- The Sage (also known as The Wise Woman): represents wisdom, intuition, and spiritual insight. It is associated with the ability to see beyond the material world and to connect with the divine.
- The Mystic: represents a connection with the spiritual world, mystical experiences, and an innate focus on her inner world and solitude.
- The Lover: represents magnetism, presence, and sensuality. It is associated with sexual energy and an appreciation for love, beauty, and ease.
Each archetype is directly connected to their core desire in life — with the more masculine archetypes being hyperfocused on leaving a mark and providing structure, as the more feminine archetypes are more drawn to connecting to others and embarking on some spiritual journey.
Sola shares that when it comes to finding your archetype, read through each one and see which ones you find yourself being intuitively drawn to,in order to determine your best match.
If you take The 13 Feminine Seduction Archetypes™ test, curated by the late Ayesha K. Faines, and find that you fall into a more masculine-leaning archetype, Sola encourages you to lean into the polarity and not deny the nature of your being.
“I do believe God created certain women to be more polarized to their masculine energy. That doesn't mean they can't connect to their femininity, but it all comes back to you being really honest about what is motivating your heart's desires and what is it that you actually truly seek in this world,” she continues.
From her experience, gaining a deeper connection with her feminine energy has benefited her on a personal, professional, and social level because “everything starts with the heart.” If you desire to build more meaningful relationships with others and yourself, moving with a heart-centered approach is far more rewarding than insisting on leading from a place of control or insecurity.
“You have to really check your heart and see where it's coming from,” she shares. “Because when you're coming from a place of loneliness and operating out of insecurity, you can find yourself having an unhealthy approach to creating community, getting into a relationship, and making friends. We must shift our hearts out of a place of lack — because we’re tapping into the current of God, which is love. If you’re tapping into the current of force, that’s the opposite of love.”
For women who are looking to incorporate new practices that can help connect them with their feminine energy, Sola says to walk by faith and relinquish the need for control. Finding hobbies that require you to not have an end goal in mind — like freestyle dance classes or roller skating, can be healthy ways to get your mind in the practice of relinquishing control and receiving the flow of what’s in the present moment.
“Being in your feminine is allowing yourself to be in the constant state of receiving the present moment. There's no goal. There's nothing you're trying to get,” she says. “It's surrendering to the flow of creativity and life in general.”
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Not too long ago, while in a session with one of my clients, they were talking to me about having strong sex cravings that seemed to have come out of nowhere. After asking some questions for clarity’s sake, I got that the reason why they used the word “craving” is because it’s not like they are hornier than usual all of the time. Nah, it’s more like the urge creeps up at some pretty random and/or unexpected moments. What they wanted to know from me was if I thought that it was normal.
The short answer is “yes.”
Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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Featured image by Giphy