Feminine hygiene is an interesting topic. The main reason why I say that is because some people can’t actually agree on what it is. While some say that it strictly has to do with what’s going on with our vagina (and vulva) when we’re on our cycle, others say that it has to do with “all things considered” as it relates to cleanliness — and to a certain degree health — down below.
To keep everyone as happy as possible (this time…LOL), I decided to share some tips that will “scratch the itch” on both sides of the fence by providing some all-natural ways to take care of “her” by way of going the essential oils route.
For the record, these aren’t oils that I’ve merely read about before. These are the ones that I’ve tried out myself and can personally vouch for. Ones that, so long as you dilute them first (a few drops of oil in eight ounces of distilled water can make it a great vaginal wash or spray) and take the “less is more” (along with the, if your symptoms don’t go away, please see your doctor as soon as possible) approach, you can end up feeling really good and super fresh on a monthly basis. Ready?
1. Oregano Oil for Vaginal Odor
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If you’re looking for the kind of oil that is powerful when it comes to the antioxidants that are in it as well as its anti-inflammatory properties, oregano oil is that one. Some people use it to improve their gut health. Others rely on it to lower their cholesterol levels. Word on the street is it can also aid in helping to shed some pounds.
What makes it ideal when it comes to vaginal health is, not only does it contain potential antibacterial compounds that can help to heal a yeast infection, it can help to get rid of vaginal odor too.
2. Rose Oil Reduces Vaginal Inflammation
Let me tell it, everyone should have at least one bottle of rose oil in their house. There are plenty of science-based studies to back the fact that it’s great when it comes to treating symptoms that are related to depression and anxiety, sexual dysfunction, and stress. Rose oil is also awesome when it comes to reducing pain — this includes any that is period-related.
However, because it’s also an oil that is loaded with antibacterial and antifungal properties, if the blood and/or discharge that you’re dealing with due to your cycle is irritating your vulva (the skin outside of your vagina), rose oil can help to soothe the irritation and inflammation (especially if you’re someone who mostly wears pads).
3. Emu Oil to Soothe Vulvar Skin
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Speaking of oils that soothe — emu oil is another gem. From a beauty standpoint, it will help to deeply hydrate your skin, slow down the signs of aging (because Black CAN crack if you’re not careful), decrease the appearance of acne scars, and lighten age spots. If you’re a new mom, another bonus when it comes to this particular oil is it can make your nipples feel less irritated if you happen to be breastfeeding.
As far as your vulvar skin goes, emu oil provides the same benefits to it that it does to the rest of your body — and since moisturized skin is less irritated, it definitely gives a calming effect. Also, since it helps to stimulate collagen production in your system, it can help your vulvar skin to also appear plumper and more youthful-looking over time.
4. Clove Oil Decreases Period-Related Discomfort
I’m gonna tell you right here and right now that if you have a toothache, run out and get some clove oil. It will help to deaden the pain almost immediately. Aside from that, the properties of clove are associated with relieving respiratory conditions, bringing relief to skin that suffers from chronic itching and it can help to decrease muscular pain.
And since your uterus is a muscular organ that contracts in order to shed its lining when you’re on your cycle, that’s why it can be beneficial for you when you’ve got cramps and abdominal discomfort. Simply mix a few drops with your favorite carrier oil, warm it up for a few seconds in the microwave, and then give the lower part of your tummy a nice massage with the oil. You should feel your cramps easing up within 20 minutes or so.
5. Frankincense Oil Stimulates Blood Flow to Reproductive Organs
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This essential oil is bomb on a few different levels. It helps to reduce stress. It can put you in a better mood. Its powerful astringent properties are great at killing fungi and bacteria. It helps to fade stretch marks and surgery scars. It can also help you to get a good night’s rest thanks to its ability to open up your nasal passages and regulate your body temperature.
When you’re on your period, your body will adore it because not only can it help to balance out your hormone levels, but it also increases blood flow to your reproductive organs which can assist with shortening the time of your cycle and make your cramps less intense until your period ends.
6. Rosemary Oil for Vaginal Infections
My skin adores some rosemary oil. Ever since I’ve been applying it to my skin at night, it has evened out my complexion, helped to keep period pimples at bay, and given me a natural glow. It’s also been a reliable oil when it comes to sealing the ends of my hair. In fact, it has a pretty solid reputation for helping to restore hair loss if you're consistent with using it.
If it seems like clockwork that you end up experiencing some sort of vaginal infection when you’re on or right after you come off of your cycle, that’s because it could be causing an imbalance of the yeast and bacteria that’s naturally inside of your vagina during that time of the month. The anti-inflammatory and antibacterial properties in the oil can help to heal these kinds of vaginal infections. Not only that but some studies say that rosemary oil can speed up the healing process of trichomoniasis too (speak with your doctor about that one, though).
7. Lavender Oil for Bacterial Infections
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From an aromatherapy standpoint, lavender oil is one of the most popular ones when it comes to reducing anxiety and stress, promoting relaxation, and helping you to get a better night’s rest. Something else that might surprise you is there are studies to support that it can help to decrease symptoms that are associated with diabetes, plus it can help to soothe the discomfort that’s associated with having a headache.
Since it’s also a strong antifungal type of oil, you can also use lavender to help treat bacterial infections. When it’s a top ingredient in a homemade vaginal wash, it can help to get rid of the discharge that’s associated with common bacterial infections.
8. Tea Tree Oil for Yeast Infections
If you want a zit to go away, pretty much overnight, something that will do it is tea tree oil. What I especially like about it is the fact that although it’s potent as hell, it doesn’t dry out my skin (when I use it as a spot treatment) while it’s working. Some other benefits that come with it include the fact that its super potent (and I’m not exaggerating here) antibacterial, antifungal, and antioxidant properties also make it a top-notch when it comes to being a reliable ingredient for all-natural sanitizer, DIY deodorant, and getting rid of nail fungus.
It's alsothat one when it comes to treating yeast infections. That’s because its antimicrobial and antifungal properties help to prevent the overgrowth of yeast as well as bring relief when it comes to incessant itching and irritated vaginal and vulvar skin.
9. Thyme Oil Helps to Heal Candida Vaginitis
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If you’re someone who likes to cook with fresh thyme, good for you because, whether you realize it or not, you’re doing some great things for your body. Due to the potent antifungal, anti-inflammatory, and antibacterial properties that are in thyme, it’s great at fighting breakouts, suppressing coughs, and helping your food last for longer periods of time. Since thyme is also high in vitamins A and C as well as copper, iron, and manganese, it’s a good idea to consume it if you’re looking to boost your immune system.
However, what trips me out the most about thyme/thyme oil is there is scientific intel to support that if you combine it with garlic, it’s just as effective as clotrimazole vaginal cream at treating candida vaginitis (vaginal irritation that has an overgrowth of candida in it). How freakin’ impressive is that?
10. Peppermint Oil Is a Vaginal pH Balancer
Let’s wrap this all up with peppermint oil. The menthol in this oil makes it a super bomb oil for treating bad breath. However, it’s also oftentimes used to speed up the healing process of the common cold, nausea, and migraine-related discomfort. Your scalp will also like peppermint because it can reduce itchiness and increase blood flow to your hair follicles which can increase hair growth. Plus, if you like to work out, it can soothe joint and muscle-related pain.
As far as your vagina goes, since peppermint oil acts as a powerful fungicide, it can keep your vagina at its proper pH balance (check out “Sis, This Is How To Keep Your Vagina's pH Balanced”); that’s because it kills harmful bacteria that can throw it off. It’s also an oil that can keep vaginal odor under control whether it’s during your cycle or not.
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There you have it — 10 essential oils that are great for when you’re on your cycle or if you want to keep common vaginal issues under control without the need for (a lot of) medication. Just make sure that you use it externally unless you run it by your physician first. Douching, even when it’s with an essential oil, can still do more harm than good, more times than not, because it can throw your vagina’s pH balance off — and that can cause all hell to break loose.
Also, make sure that you go with a reputable brand of essential oil (check out a list of them via The Sprucehere). Believe you me, a lot of people give essential oils the side-eye, thinking that they’re not effective when really they just purchased a cheap (including cheap quality) brand.
Beyond all of this, ENJOY! Again, I can personally vouch for all of these and my vagina and vulvar have only been at (more) peace because of ‘em.
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And today? Today, I’m going to share something that, if you are married, you can do to improve your sex life that is actually super easy and hella effective. It just requires moving into a different space. Yes, literally.
Read on, and I’ll explain more.
Get Out of the Bed, Y’all. It’s Time.
GiphyThere’s no telling how many times I’ve said over the years that I agree with interior designers when they say that the purpose of the bedroom is sex and sleep — no more, no less. And that alone makes it pretty obvious why the “default location” for copulation is a bed. It’s private. It’s comfortable. Plus, it’s such an ideal location for foreplay, intercourse, and afterplay (which typically consists of quite a bit of cuddling), too. And since beds/bedrooms are so ideal for sexual activity, it’s very easy to take the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach and just stay in that space most, if not all, of the time.
The challenge with that is, if you’re not careful, boredom can creep into your bedroom — and since I think we all can agree that a satisfying sex life is an essential part of any healthy relationship, boredom isn’t something that you should just shrug off, especially since one study revealed that about a third of Americans are currently not very thrilled by what’s happening up in their bedrooms these days.
Not only that, but I once read an article that said sexual boredom is why there is an uptick in masturbation, lower sex drives, an increase in cheating, more relational conflict, and a ho-hum take on relationships overall.
Now, are there seasons when sex is going to seem less exciting than others? 1000 percent (check out “The 'Seasons Of Sex' That Married People Go Through”). And so, if you’re reading this and you happen to be someone who plans on getting married someday, that is something that you should absolutely keep in mind. However, to the married folks, those seasons can happen less (or you can get through them faster) if you’re more intentional about doing things that can keep your sex life fresh and stimulating.
And one of those things includes…GETTING OUT OF THE DAMN BED.
5 Benefits of Having Sex Outside the Bedroom
GiphyOkay, so what are some of the benefits that come with making this minor coitus-related tweak?
1. Getting out of the bed is spontaneous. While reading an article that featured a survey of 500 Americans and 500 Europeans on their favorite place to have sex, the top rank was in public. I’m pretty sure that’s because it’s risqué, it’s random and the spontaneity of it all can be stimulating as all get out. Look, even if you’re not down for having sex in a restaurant or club bathroom, technically your backyard is still considered to be “public.” Pitch a tent and try it there. If you wait until nightfall, the fresh air and stars alone might get your adrenaline going…in ways you never expected.
2. Getting out of the bed is fun. It’s hard to be bored when you’re having fun and when you’re exploring something different with your partner, that can open the door to discuss new things, to laugh about new experiences, and to enjoy the trial and error of experimentation. Plus, laughter has been proven to release endorphins (feel-good hormones), which can make having orgasms easier. Besides, it’s kind of hard to not laugh, at least a little bit, when you’re in the midst of having a really good time — sex should also be considered a really good time.
3. Getting out of the bed can introduce you to new approaches to intimacy. Say that your man suggests going down on you on the countertop in the kitchen one day, out of the blue. I don’t mean during the midnight hour, either. I mean, when the sun is still out, and the curtains are slightly drawn. If normally, you’re down for some oral, yet you prefer to engage in pitch blackness while lying back on your mattress, being on the counter could “hit angles” that you didn’t know existed while being in the light could boost your sexual confidence in ways that you didn’t quite predict.
4. Getting out of the bed can teach you something else/different about your partner (and yourself). One of my clients once told me that when her husband recommended having sex in a Starbucks bathroom (one of the cleaner bathrooms, I’ve heard), she said that it caught her so off guard that they ended up having a long conversation about sexual fantasies. As a result, they decided to come up with sex-themed bucket lists every six months that consist of new things that they want to try. She said that it’s been one of the wisest moves that they’ve ever made. You can learn more about how to make your own by checking out, “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List.’”
5. Getting out of the bed can make your bedroom feel “new” again. You know what they say — absence makes the heart grow fonder, and if you aren’t always having sex in that bedroom of yours, that can actually make you “miss” it sometimes, especially if you decide to do some redecorating (as far as bedding and candles, etc. go) a couple of times a year.
As you can see, doing something as simple as having sex somewhere other than your bedroom can create a whole new world, quite literally, as far as your sex life is concerned.
One of the Best Places to Have Sex
What if I’ve got you convinced to get out of your bed, and, yet, you’re not quite ready to do anything that’s considered to be “too crazy” just yet? No problem. All you’ve got to do is head towards the place where apparently most people use as a safe out-of-the-bedroom go-to: their living room couch.
In fact, couches are apparently so “sex popular” that a few years back, GQ published a piece entitled, “Couch Sex Is the Best Sex.” Why? Couches are comfortable. Couches are different from a bed.
Also, the sex position possibilities that come with the help of a couch are pretty endless. Not only that, but when I asked some of my clients how they felt about having sex on their own couches, several told me that the 69 (oral) sex position is on a whole ‘nother level, thanks to the armrests on their couch (you’re welcome — LOL). So, if you’re wanting to “ease out” of the bedroom, sex-wise, try your couch. For starters.
15 Other Places to Have Sex (If You Haven’t Already)
GiphyNow that I’ve hopefully at least got you to consider getting out of the bedroom (period or far more often), let me share a quick list of places to try — in case you need a bit more inspiration:
1. The laundry room — with the cycle running, it’s like a huge vibrator.
2. The dining room — afteran aphrodisiac-filled romantic dinner. You’ll probably already havesome sex condiments within your arms’ reach.
3. In the shower. Before you hate, read this first: “So, This Is How To Make Shower Sex So Much Better.”
4. Against a wall — any wall. Have you noticed that some of the hottest sex scenes in movies are filmed up against a wall? It’s great for oral sex as well as intercourse.
5. In one of your closets. It’s in a close proximity, and you can hold on to racks that hold your hangers. Plus, it’s pitch black in there if dark is your thing…even in the daytime.
6. On throw pillows on the floor. Over the holidays, I watched a video of Nick Cannon with his firstborn twins at his house. One of his rooms is a theater room that’s filled with nothing but throw pillows. Personally, I’m a big throw pillow fan because they are cozy, comfy, and a great option for sitting on the floor. “Floor sex” conveys “gotta have you now” and the more lust that’s in the air, chances are, the better the sex will be.
7. In a rocking chair. Someone was recently telling me how amazing sex is in a tantra chair. When I looked one up, it reminded me of a chaise lounge. Anyway, that did get me thinking about how chairs can make for deeper penetration and super close face-to-face intimacy. If you step it up and get in a rocking chair, you can control the speed of the intercourse in a cool way. Try it and report back.
8. In a sleeping bag on your deck. Cuddling with your hubby is already going to get your oxytocin levels up. It would be a shame to let them go to waste, so strip naked from the waist down and engage in spoon sex. No one has to know (which is a part of the thrill!).
9. In an office. His or yours. I mean, even if it’s a home office, it qualifies.
10. Via a trampoline. I mean, you might’ve bought one for the kids. However, after you read Elite Daily’s “4 Sex Moves To Try On A Trampoline & Take Getting Frisky To New Heights,” you might wanna get one for yourself. #wink
11. On a truck bed. Down a country road. It’s rustic, raw and romantic. If you don’t have a truck, borrow or rent one. It’ll be worth it.
12. On a road trip. Rent an SUV that has tinted windows. While heading to wherever you’re going, stop and have sex in random spots along the way. This is where quickies can come in hella handy.
13. On the hood of your car. I mean, it can always be in the garage…if you’d prefer.
14. Airport parking lots — in the cheap section. Hey, if public sex is your thing, you can try those same tinted windows that I just mentioned in the airport lot sections that are super far from the airport because they are cheap. If you go up in there after midnight, barely anyone is around. Just sayin’.
15. While on a sexcation. Pretty sure it’s time for one of those, anyway (check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!”).
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It’s actually a husband who once told me that it’s hard to get bored with your partner, so long as you both really desire each other and mutually want to keep your sex life strong. Changing locations can help with this, so use this year as the year to give it a shot. You might be surprised by how a simple shift can make sex the very kind that you’ve been longing for (lately)!
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