I Bet You Didn't Know These 12 Fun Facts About Nipples
I've written about breasts on here before. Foods that are good for your breasts. How to pamper your breasts. Even tips for how to keep your breasts looking as youthful as possible. Yet while I was actually giving myself a breast exam not too long ago, I thought about how nipples don't seem to get as much attention (or media love) as breasts, as a whole, do. I mean, we've all got 'em and they certainly serve a purpose. So, let's explore a few facts about nipples that will hopefully help you to gain a greater appreciation for the ones that you have.
1. They’re One of the First Things to Develop in the Womb
It really is a trip, just how much a baby develops, very early on. For instance, by the time an expectant mom is in her ninth week of pregnancy, her child is already starting to form arms, toes and organs. Another thing that pops up are nipples and hair follicles, making nipples one of the first things that fully develops within a mother's womb.
2. They Are Sisters, Not Twins
If you were to draw a line straight down your body from head to toe and then looked very carefully at each of your body parts, you'd probably notice that while things like your eyebrows, eyes, ears, hands, feet, etc. look very similar, they aren't exactly identical. This point applies to your breasts and most certainly your nipples. One might be larger or higher than the other—and you know what? That's totally OK.
That said, what I will throw in is, something that I found to be a trip, is if you wanted to "measure" the space between both of your nipples, they're basically the same distance apart as your earlobes are. The more you know.
3. Some Folks Have More than Two of ‘Em
For the record, just like your vagina and labia aren't exactly the same thing (your vagina is the tube that connects to your uterus while your labia are your outer lips; both ultimately make up your vulva) neither are your nipples and your areolas. Your nipples are at the very center of your breasts that connect to your mammary glands. Your areolas are the darker part of your skin that surrounds your nipples. Well, depending on how your mammary glands are designed, it's actually very possible for you to have a couple of nipples on each areola. Health-wise, it's not that big of a deal, although it could make breastfeeding a little challenging for your baby.
4. They Resemble Belly Buttons. Kinda.
Now, here's what I mean when it comes to this particular point. Believe it or not, there are several different kinds of nipples. Like belly buttons, some women have nipples that protrude out (an outie) while others have inverted ones (an innie). Then there are women whose nipples remain pretty flat (even when they are aroused), women with multiple ones and even some who have nipples that look somewhat divided in the middle. Oh, and remember what I said about how no two nipples are exactly alike? This means that it's also probable that a woman could have one inverted nipple while the other protrudes. Nothing is wrong with any of these dynamics. It's just one more thing that speaks to how unique each of us are.
5. The Bumps Are There for a Reason. And a Purpose.
Ever wonder why your nipples have those little bumps all over them? It's not some random freak of nature.
The technical name for them are Montgomery tubercles and what they do is secrete oil to keep your nipples moisturized.
The secretions increase, significantly so, while you are pregnant. When it comes to these, some women only have a few of these bumps while other women have many.
6. Human Nipples Differ from Other Mammals
A fun fact that I found to be interesting is while our nipples (male and female) are able to remain prominent and become erect for as long as we're alive, other mammals only appear to have nipples during pregnancy and lactation. It could be nature's way of cosigning on the fact that humans become stimulated and have sex for more reasons than just being "in heat" and procreating, since nipples are an erogenous zone 'n all.
7. There’s a Scientific Reason for Having “Headlights”
Most of us know that when we get cold or aroused, our nipples typically get hard (become erect). The main reason why is because nipples have a collection of nerve cells that basically control the erectile muscle that's inside of your breast tissue. And the more sensitive those nerves are, the more likely your nipples (some call them "headlights") are going to show. While you need to give hard nipples time to warm up or to come down from being aroused in order for them to blend back in with the rest of your breasts, if you want to prevent hard nipples from being seen in public, a padded bra should do the trick (for the most part, anyway).
8. Discharge Is Pretty Normal. However…
Believe it or not, having a bit of nipple discharge can be pretty normal/common prior to menopause. That's because, contrary to popular belief, discharge doesn't only happen when you're pregnant. Birth control pills, nipple stimulation, antidepressants (because they can trigger the production of prolactin which is a milk-producing hormone) and shifts during your cycle can also cause discharge to come out of one or both of your nipples. However, because it could also be a sign of breast cancer, if you're getting discharge all of a sudden and/or the texture or amount has increased, talk to your doctor about it. Just to be on the safe side.
9. Nipples Shouldn’t Be Inflamed
The more I study the body, the more I realize that inflammation, anywhere, is problematic. Nipples are certainly not exempt. If you happen to notice that yours are red, painful or even super warm whenever you touch them, that could be a heads up that you've got either mastitis (a blocked milk gland) or possibly even breast cancer. Bottom line here is, don't ignore it. Make an appointment to see your doctor as soon as possible. (By the way, if your nipples are constantly dry and nothing seems to relieve them, that also could be an indication of breast cancer; another reason to book an appointment with your physician.)
10. Stimulating Nipples Can Help to Induce Labor
Something that I learned while training to become a doula is stimulating your nipples when you're right around your due date can actually help to induce labor. The reason why is when nipples are touched/rubbed on, it increases the production of oxytocin which can help to trigger contractions. Matter of fact, women who have their nipples stimulated during this time tend to have shorter deliveries and less pregnancy complications too. While we're here, it should also go on record that nipples can change color during pregnancy. And, it's not uncommon for a breastfeeding mom to lactate whenever she hears a baby (any baby) cry.
11. Think Long and Hard Before Getting Them Pierced
So, here's the thing about getting one or both of your nipples pierced—they come with more cons than pros.
Let's do the cons first, shall we? Getting them pierced is pretty painful (the healing process takes around eight weeks). Switching them out can prove to make things worse in the long run (the new earring may not go all the way in and/or it can be as painful as the original piercing). Some people are still cleaning theirs, months later, before foreplay (due to the crusting that continues to accumulate). Because your bra is rubbing up against your piercings for hours on end, you are constantly at risk for an infection. Then there's the scar tissue (especially if you're someone who is prone to keloids); it can affect the shape, size and sensitivity of your breasts.
OK, so what the heck are the pros? Well, it can definitely take arousal levels up a few notches. Oh, and if you're wondering if you'll still be able to breastfeed, most health care experts and piercers say "yes".
12. Nipplegasms Are Very Real
I once read an article on Live Science's site that was entitled, "Nipples 'Light Up' Brain the Way Genitals Do". I'm thinking that when it comes to my final nipple fact, the point is pretty self-explanatory. Because our nipples have a lot of nerves in them, that makes them really sensitive. And so, when they are fondled/caressed/licked/etc., that can result in us climaxing, just from the stimuli alone. If you've never had one before and want to test this out, while there are no guarantees, deep breathing, lots of foreplay and intentional attention given to your nipples can certainly help. And shoot, even if it doesn't happen, you at least had a damn good time trying. Right?
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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These 11 Married Couples Share Their Keys To Long-Term Marital Success
The late actor Audrey Hepburn once said something that I think a lot of married couples who have at least 10 years under their belt will agree with: “If I get married, I want to be very married.” In my mind, this means very committed, very complementary, and very willing to go the distance — otherwise, what’s the point?
Really, what’s the point?
Thing is, with the divorce rate still being higher than it ever should be (for the record, a husband is not a boyfriend, and a wife is not a girlfriend; a marriage is serious business, y’all) and acting married being praised (or at least acknowledged) more than actually being married seems to be — folks who 1) are married and are looking for some hacks that will help with relational longevity or 2) want to be married someday and want insight on how to make their future marriage last are constantly seeking truly beneficial material.
Can you Google articles with random bullet points? Sure. And I’m not discouraging it. Every little bit of wisdom that you can pull, I fully support. However, the reason why I like to do articles like this one from time to time is there is something to be said from hearing real talk from multiple sources on the same topic who have some solid wisdom and knowledge on a particular topic.
Today? 11 married couples who were willing to talk about how they’ve been able to make it to several wedding anniversaries with a smile on their face and no regrets for choosing who they chose. Let’s all sit at their feet for just a moment.
*Middle names are always used in my content that’s like this so that people can speak freely*
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1. Kyle and Adrienne. Married 12 Years.
Kyle: “Some of your readers aren’t going to want to hear this but it’s worked for my marriage: people need to lower their expectations sometimes; I mean, men and women. We go into marriage with stuff that movies told us, social media told us, friends who are always single told us about what we should expect from someone, and then want to fault the person when they’re not what we made up in our head. Everyone should have standards but if you’re expecting your spouse to be some living version of a fairy tale character, you’re going to be disappointed almost every day of your life. Drop those expectations some and watch your relationship be a lot less stressful.”
Adrienne: “Talk to people who respect your man about your marriage. I’ve never believed that you shouldn’t ever go to anyone when you need some support. Even the Bible says that there is safety in wise counsel [Proverbs 11:4]. Too many women talk to women who don’t respect men, in general, let alone their husbands, and so that’s where things go left. Sometimes, you need an ‘outside in’ perspective. But if that woman is always taking shots at men, doesn’t respect marriage, or isn’t someone who holds your man in high regard, don’t ask her for advice. Really, you should ask yourself why you’re friends with her at all.”
Shellie here: I’m big on engaged and married couples having a “village” of sorts for their relationship, too. Check out “Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry'” to get a good idea of what I mean.
2. Levi and Paulette. Married for 15 Years.
Levi: “Some of you have probably heard of the 7-7-7 rule. It’s where couples go on a date every seven days, have a weekend getaway every seven weeks, and go on a romantic trip of some sort every seven months. My wife and I do the 2-2-2 rule instead because sometimes our schedule and budget make ‘7’ difficult. It has gotten easier since Shellie told us about the sex jar. Bottom line, if you’re waiting for time to just open up to be with your spouse, that ain’t gonna happen. Schedule intimacy, including sex. Prioritizing it is better than saying you’re gonna be spontaneous and…never are.”
Paulette: “Initiate sex, dammit. When Shellie told us that men initiate sex most of the time, and then I thought about how often I used to push my husband away whenever he did it — I never really thought about how that made him feel until I put myself in his shoes. We’ve got to stop having all of this understanding for why women cheat when it comes to them not feeling desired or not getting attention when we’re the same way to our husbands. Your marriage isn’t ‘Young and the Restless’, where you’re just supposed to wait for your man to make the move. If you want to feel wanted, do the same thing for him.”
Shellie here: What’s a sex jar, you ask? You can read more about it via “5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar.”
3. Matthew and Gaia. Married for 17 Years.
Matthew: “Reenact some of your favorite times together. My wife and I do that semi-often. We’ll go back to where we had our first date, or we’ll go back to the hotel where we had some of the best sex before. Bringing back memories of when you felt the best together can give you the motivation to stay together to create some new memories to ‘play out’ later on.”
Gaia: “If you want to ‘mom your husband,’ you need to have kids — or at least get a dog! I didn’t realize how bossy I was until I got married. It’s because I saw my mom be that way with my dad. In my eyes, I thought that’s what love looked like until I watched how my in-laws were. They don’t try to change each other, and they definitely don’t make any demands. They’re very polite. I think a lot of married people are rude to their partner. Don’t be that.”
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4. Joseph and Carletta. Married for 10 Years.
Joseph: “Go to therapy for your childhood. I’m dead serious. No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways. If you’re at the point where you think therapy is needed, go alone and deal with your childhood first. It did miracles for me and mine.”
"No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways."
Carletta: “Meditate together once a day. Even if it’s just for 5-10 minutes, you need to carve out a moment to be mindful, focus on each other, and slow the world down. [Joseph and I] have been doing it for a couple of years now; it’s totally changed the way we communicate. Meditation reminds us to put each other first; that if we’re focused on each other, we can take on…whatever.”
5. Zeke and Rachelle. Married for 12 Years.
Zeke: “An argument is not a fight and a debate is not an argument. Learn that and you’re home-free. That’s all I got.”
Rachelle: “That advice that you just got? That sums up what it’s like to live with my husband. He’s very cut-and-dry, direct, and not wordy. That used to bug the hell out of me until I realized how wordy I was and then accepted that I wouldn’t want ‘two of me’ in the house [LOL]. He’s right. You can have a difference of opinion, and it be a debate. You can not find a middle ground on something and it turns into an argument. Neither of those is a red flag. It just comes with being with someone who is as much of an individual as you are.”
6. Taurus and Madison. Married for 22 Years.
Taurus: “Be prepared for your partner to change — not a couple of times, quite a bit. And when they change, that alters the relationship because now it’s not the person you stood with on your wedding day; it’s someone else. People get divorced so much because they are inflexible; they expect their spouse to never switch up and that’s just not how life is. If you’re rigid, controlling, or don’t know how to adjust, you don’t need to marry anybody. You’re gonna be miserable, and so will they.”
Madison: “Pray before sex. Before my husband and I got married, we had quite a bit of sexual history that caused us to do some comparing, and that led to resentment. In marriage, we had to adjust to how it’s more than just what we’re getting from another person. Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred. It might sound weird at first. Just try it. I don’t think you’ll regret it at all.”
"Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred."
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7. Karl and LaTasha. Married for 9 Years.
Karl: “Check in with your partner twice a day. In the morning before leaving the house and at night before going to sleep. If you work outside of the home, a lot can happen during the course of one day, so you shouldn’t assume that the person you left in the morning is who you are coming home to. I don’t mean sharing each other’s schedules or to-do lists. I mean, asking your spouse, ‘How are you doing? How are you really doing?’. It’s a smart way to take note of their mood and needs so that you are never blindsided.”
LaTasha: “Give each other some privacy. I have never been the kind of woman to go through a man’s phone, and I won’t start. If you think that you have to be a detective in your relationship, why are you in it in the first place? I know that Karl would give me codes and passwords if I wanted them because we’ve talked about it all before. Knowing that he would is enough for me. Marriage is an institution, but damn, it shouldn’t feel like jail.”
8. Thomas and Wynter. Married for 15 Years.
Thomas: “Ask your partner what their sexual needs are. Never assume that they haven’t changed because if we all agree that we are constantly growing and evolving as people, why would sex be exempt? Don’t personalize what they say about it either. All of us have sexual fantasies and interests that we keep to ourselves because we don’t know what our partner will think or ‘cause we think that they will create stories in their head about what made us think that way. I’ve learned that intimacy is feeling okay with sharing the deep stuff. The more comfortable a man, especially, is with doing that, the better the sex will be for everyone because talking about stuff like that is like taking down some walls.”
Wynter: “It’s okay to take one vacation a year with your girls and one by yourself. Just don’t go with people who don’t have the same standards as you, and as far as your solo venture, it doesn’t need to be longer than a long weekend. One thing that they don’t tell you about marriage is how there are times when you will feel like it is monotonous because of the routine of everything. A girls’ trip reminds you to get back to you outside of being someone’s wife or mom, and the trip alone is when you can sit around and do whatever you have to negotiate most of them. And yes, your man should be given the same courtesy.”
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9. Allen and Yvette. Married for 11 Years.
Allen: “STOP. BRINGING. UP. OLD. SH-T. SH-T. Nothing creates walls in a marriage more than you telling someone that you forgave them, and then the minute something else happens, here you go with the rap sheet of wrongs. Forgiving someone means that you are pardoning them, and that’s not what you’re doing if you’re constantly holding stuff over their head. One thing that marriage will show you is how bad of a forgiver you are. Most people suck at it, if we’re gonna be real about it.”
Yvette: “I already know that some women are going to assume that my man must’ve done something to say all of that (LOL). He’s a much better forgiver than I am, believe it or not. The real plot twist is, what gets on his nerves more than anything, is when I bring up stuff that he’s forgiven me for. Allen is the kind of man [who] hates to live in the past. I’ve grown a lot because of that. I think my advice would be to stay focused on solutions and tomorrow instead of problems and yesterday.”
Allen: “Sh- t, that’s bars, babe!”
Shellie here: INDEED.
10. Brennton and Danyelle. Married for 16 Years.
Brennton: “Why anyone who is trash at forgiving would get married is beyond me. It’s delusional to the nth degree to think that you are worthy of forgiveness and others aren’t — or that what you do isn’t ‘as bad,’ and that’s why you deserve forgiveness and others don’t. My wife and I have a lot of time under our belts. I’m here to tell you that there will be something, daily, that you will need to forgive your partner for on some level. If you can’t see yourself being open to that, marriage simply isn’t for you.”
Danyelle: “I don’t know who taught so many of us that being passive-aggressive will get us what we want, but it’s a damn lie. If something is wrong, stop saying ‘nothing’ when your man asks you what’s up because, if you’ve got a man like mine, he’s gonna say ‘Okay’ and go on about his day. Brennton often says that my refusing to speak isn’t his responsibility, it’s mine. That used to piss me off because, deep down, I knew that he was right. Oh, and chill on the grudge-holding too. With guys, that’s not going to get you anywhere either.”
11. Christopher and Yvonne. Married for 26 Years.
Christopher: “Have more loyalty for your spouse than you do your closest friend. Too many people don’t think like that. If you’ve got a friend since college, you’ve been through some things and you’ve learned to forgive and move past it. If you can’t see your wife or husband in this way, why did you get married? You should never have more grace for someone who you didn’t take vows with; that’s ludicrous. Before anyone else, I’m going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It’s because I value her more than anyone. That’s what marriage is.”
"Before anyone else, I'm going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It's because I value her more than anyone. That's what marriage is."
Yvonne: “Even if you’re not about ‘traditional gender roles,’ discuss what the expectations are for the home. People don’t divorce over cheating as much as getting sick of beard clippings in the bathroom sink or cars that look like pocketbooks. When you sign up for marriage, you are doing daily life with another person. Articulate your expectations. Listen to theirs. Be flexible until you both can make it work. Do that, and you’ll look up, and it’s been 20 years already.”
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Gems. Pure gems, y’all.
You know, popular consultant Barbara De Angelis once said, “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” And love? Love is a choice.
And so, whether you’re married, engaged, or simply desire marriage in the future, hopefully, these tips will help you to choose how you love your spouse (or future spouse)…better.
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