I have a tendency to ignore my gut, but as I learn this, I'm working on listening a little closer when it's telling me, "This just ain't workin'. Throw in the towel."
I also know that I need validation and I'm working that out too. Give me a little bit of credit here, ladies. Although, I'm sure you're thinking we're talking about my interpersonal communication skills among other beings, I'm actually talking about the latest toy I reviewed, the Tickling Truman, where I was forced to go read other reviews to tell me what I already knew. THIS. AIN'T. IT.
Sure, the name gives it all away but what can I say? My mother taught me not to judge a book by its cover...or its name.
So, I adamantly sought out this toy after finding out it had an electro-stem feature. Electroplay is a kink of mine that I recently discovered, and it's exactly how it sounds, unless it sounds like I take lightning bolts to the clit, then no I have not worked my way up to that yet (since I'm sure it's a possibility). But I do like the beginner electro-play, typically carried out by toys such as the Neon Wand or the Violet Wand that can feel as light as a static shock and work its way up the intensity scale.
Well, this toy is supposed to have a similar but slightly weaker impact from my understanding. Now, did it actually turn out that way? You'll have to read on to find out the 4 things I learned while trying to shock my kitty-cat out of its coma:
The Tickling Truman Sex Toy Review
No Shocker
There was a lot of hype surrounding this toy among my friends in the kink community because of its electro feature. I went into it wanting to see what it might feel like to have the inside of my vagina receive a static shock, while in reality, it felt more like an intensified vibration. A tingle, I guess. However, let Truman roam and ZAP! You could feel the shock on super sensitive areas like your anus or that weird middle ground between your anus and your vagina.
Level Up
This toy has a total of 6 vibrators and although the symbols provide clarity, I found myself struggling to turn on the toy and clearly see when I was increasing the intensity. The only way that I could truly tell that the e-stem feature was at work was when it shocked my booty hole *Tiffany Haddish voice*.
While there were allegedly five different e-stem modes with up to ten levels of intensity for each, I could barely figure out how to turn the damn thing on. So much so, that I settled for one mode and if I happened to stumble upon another, fine. The buttons are not as intuitive as I would like them to be when I'm trying to get off, as it requires you to tinker with it quite a bit and this probably has a lot to do with there being so many of them. I honestly think that having six buttons is record-breaking for a vibrator, but maybe that's just me.
Big Dick Energy...Not
Truman was like the big dick that couldn't. Standing at 10 inches with a silicone girth (or diameter) of 5 inches, Truman was flexible and eager to please and I was eager to take Truman in but to little avail.
Truman delivered the kind of sex where you stare up at the ceiling waiting for a miracle and much like the other reviewers, I searched high and low for a clitorally focused toy to pair with this hoping to deliver me an orgasm. Since I couldn't find my itty bitty vibrator, this looked like me f*cking myself with a 10-inch vibrator while holding my Hitachi on my clit.
Bow Out
This toy was supposed to have a kegel feature but I'm not sure that I ever found it and I'm almost positive that unless you're just into the toy as a whole, you're better off buying a separate but far superior kegel toy. I was very disappointed with my couple of nights with Truman. However, as always, I have to acknowledge that I'm a clit girl. When my clitoris is being stimulated I'm at my best and most orgasmic – so I suppose it's no surprise that Truman was a miss and not a hit.
Featured image by Getty Images
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
