I have a tendency to ignore my gut, but as I learn this, I'm working on listening a little closer when it's telling me, "This just ain't workin'. Throw in the towel."
I also know that I need validation and I'm working that out too. Give me a little bit of credit here, ladies. Although, I'm sure you're thinking we're talking about my interpersonal communication skills among other beings, I'm actually talking about the latest toy I reviewed, the Tickling Truman, where I was forced to go read other reviews to tell me what I already knew. THIS. AIN'T. IT.
Sure, the name gives it all away but what can I say? My mother taught me not to judge a book by its cover...or its name.
So, I adamantly sought out this toy after finding out it had an electro-stem feature. Electroplay is a kink of mine that I recently discovered, and it's exactly how it sounds, unless it sounds like I take lightning bolts to the clit, then no I have not worked my way up to that yet (since I'm sure it's a possibility). But I do like the beginner electro-play, typically carried out by toys such as the Neon Wand or the Violet Wand that can feel as light as a static shock and work its way up the intensity scale.
Well, this toy is supposed to have a similar but slightly weaker impact from my understanding. Now, did it actually turn out that way? You'll have to read on to find out the 4 things I learned while trying to shock my kitty-cat out of its coma:
The Tickling Truman Sex Toy Review
No Shocker
There was a lot of hype surrounding this toy among my friends in the kink community because of its electro feature. I went into it wanting to see what it might feel like to have the inside of my vagina receive a static shock, while in reality, it felt more like an intensified vibration. A tingle, I guess. However, let Truman roam and ZAP! You could feel the shock on super sensitive areas like your anus or that weird middle ground between your anus and your vagina.
Level Up
This toy has a total of 6 vibrators and although the symbols provide clarity, I found myself struggling to turn on the toy and clearly see when I was increasing the intensity. The only way that I could truly tell that the e-stem feature was at work was when it shocked my booty hole *Tiffany Haddish voice*.
While there were allegedly five different e-stem modes with up to ten levels of intensity for each, I could barely figure out how to turn the damn thing on. So much so, that I settled for one mode and if I happened to stumble upon another, fine. The buttons are not as intuitive as I would like them to be when I'm trying to get off, as it requires you to tinker with it quite a bit and this probably has a lot to do with there being so many of them. I honestly think that having six buttons is record-breaking for a vibrator, but maybe that's just me.
Big Dick Energy...Not
Truman was like the big dick that couldn't. Standing at 10 inches with a silicone girth (or diameter) of 5 inches, Truman was flexible and eager to please and I was eager to take Truman in but to little avail.
Truman delivered the kind of sex where you stare up at the ceiling waiting for a miracle and much like the other reviewers, I searched high and low for a clitorally focused toy to pair with this hoping to deliver me an orgasm. Since I couldn't find my itty bitty vibrator, this looked like me f*cking myself with a 10-inch vibrator while holding my Hitachi on my clit.
Bow Out
This toy was supposed to have a kegel feature but I'm not sure that I ever found it and I'm almost positive that unless you're just into the toy as a whole, you're better off buying a separate but far superior kegel toy. I was very disappointed with my couple of nights with Truman. However, as always, I have to acknowledge that I'm a clit girl. When my clitoris is being stimulated I'm at my best and most orgasmic – so I suppose it's no surprise that Truman was a miss and not a hit.
Featured image by Getty Images