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Kandace Banks Talks Surviving The Toxic Side Of Fashion To Launching Her Own One-Woman Show
The internet has been a global platform for undiscovered artists and entertainers to freely share their talents without the backing of big-budget studios. Many creators have gained Hollywood success by artfully telling their lived experiences in a way that feels relatable to millions of viewers via social media and YouTube.
It wasn’t just creativity and charm that led to their cultural popularity, but their determination to express themselves when faced with life’s difficulties that would eventually unfold into multi-million dollar empires. Witnessing the glow-up for so many online creators, if there was a designated road to success Kandace Banks is forging her own path in real time.
"Thanks, Kandace Banks" is a captivating scripted series with a unique point of view of the fashion industry that many outsiders never get the opportunity to witness. Taking on the tropes of The Devil Wears Prada, fashion stylist turned writer, director, producer, and star of her viral social media-based scripted series, Banks provides viewers with a fashionable account of how she went from aspiring intern to eventually becoming blacklisted in the New York styling scene.
Moving to the city to pursue her dream as a celebrity stylist led to internships with various industry professionals with well-to-do clients; however, we soon find out that everything that glitters isn’t gold. Her boss, Miranda, was the first she introduced to her audience, and with each episode, we witness a whirlwind of emotions, challenges, and pivots that left millions of viewers wanting more.
Courtesy
Making the decision to leave New York City for Los Angeles after a series of continuous setbacks, she had no idea where her ambitions would lead her but hard work, self-evaluation, and determination have proven that trusting the process is paying off more than she ever anticipated.
Now the star of her one-woman scripted show, Banks' story resonates with not only Black women struggling to find their footing in the fashion industry but also those feeling defeated when life seemingly intercepts their dreams for reality.
xoNecole: You experienced a real-life version of 'The Devil Wears Prada,' where did you find the courage to share your story as a Black woman in the fashion industry when it often feels taboo to speak up about negative experiences?
Kandace Banks: I was so scared, but my vision for it wouldn’t leave me alone. I told myself I couldn’t talk about it on the internet, I would get shunned or blacklisted, but I kept having visions and flashbacks of what I went through, so I was like, no, I have to do this. I was so scared to post the first episode, but I posted it, and it went viral and for me, back when “viral” meant 300,000 views.
My worst fear did happen. [The celebrity stylist] reached out to me saying, 'Take those episodes down. I have a lawyer, and they’ll be contacting you,' but I didn’t take the episodes down. She tried to say she never cursed me out or treated me badly when, literally, those episodes were taken directly from my journal. I would go home and write down word for word what those people said to me while it was fresh in my head.
So I have journal entries of fresh conversations. That’s where I got the name from, "Thanks, Kandace Banks." I would email my entries to myself, and since it was digital, I was able to access it from anywhere. I’d be on my phone writing myself and my email signature was "Thanks, Kandace Banks." So when the pandemic hit, I was going through all my journal entries and reading them, like, 'Oh my God, my life is a movie. I should turn it into a web series and call it 'Thanks, Kandace Banks.'"
xoN: As you’ve mentioned in episode one, you are no longer a fashion stylist because of being blacklisted, how did you know?
KB: One lady was literally like, I spoke with your references, and they said it wouldn’t be a good fit. So the girl I previously worked for was literally like, don’t hire her. I could never do that to another young Black girl trying to make it, so I don’t know how those women could do that to me. How can you not see yourself in me? I was very disappointed when that happened. I sat down and had a self-reflection, which is why I had an episode in the first season where I was playing the angel and the devil in my bedroom.
xoN: When did you decide to give up on your dream of being an NYC-based stylist to pursue another?
KB: Well [after being blacklisted], I got into a car accident, so I was forced to get a desk job because I couldn’t lift my arm. So while I was healing, I worked in corporate, and then I was waiting for my settlement check to come in from the accident. Guess when it came in, February of 2020. I finally got the check, my shoulder was healed, and I decided to quit my job and be a full-time stylist again. Nothing was going to stop me. 2020 was going to be my year! Who knew what was around the corner in March 2020, a worldwide pandemic? I was like, 'What the hell?' I just couldn’t catch a break. I was actually on set styling when I first heard about the shutdown.
We couldn't gather in groups of more than five, and there were tons of people on set. I was shooting with Shea Moisture, and it was a multiple-day photoshoot. They told us we couldn’t come back the next day and that production was permanently on pause. Little did we know the whole world shut down. I felt so defeated and I was questioning my styling career.
I had an identity crisis during the pandemic. That’s when I decided to move to Los Angeles. I thought, instead of chasing this styling career— because I’ve had so many setbacks— maybe that’s not what I’m meant to do with my life. Maybe I’m meant to go to Hollywood and make this into the first Black fashion television series. My web series incorporates all of it. It incorporates my eye for visuals, creativity, and I get to style myself.
xoN: You’ve been able to captivate your audience not only by your storytelling but the visuals are so creative, as well as your outfits. Can you share your creative process and if this was something you envisioned for yourself?
KB: I had no idea. I’ve always been a super creative person. I’ve always been a person who can figure out how to do something myself. That’s how my mom raised us, do everything yourself. So once I had the idea for a web series, I just naturally put the pieces together, figuring out how to make it work and how to make it happen as a one-woman show. I didn’t know I had this in me until I forced myself to do it, and I really surprised myself.
Setting up my tripod and filming was not easy at first, the locations were very public. I was at the Santa Monica Proper, which is a very well-known hotel, and people were staring at me like, “What’s this girl doing?” I was filming at the table and then I would run to the bathroom, put another outfit on, and do the other character. No one would be there with me. It would just be me, alone in front of all these people, filming at a restaurant.
xoN: That's very courageous.
KB: Yes! At first, I didn’t have locations, but then I got hired at HBO Max, and that’s where all the scenes in the office took place. The first time I went viral, that episode is at 6 million views now, and it was filmed at my office at HBO. They told me this office is open all year except on Christmas and New Year’s Day, but we’re open 24/7. It was such a blessing. I asked if I can come in on the weekends, and they said absolutely. So I would pack my suitcase, go in on the weekend, and have this huge entertainment company building all to myself.
Filming in all of the rooms and it felt like such a spiritual experience.
Courtesy
xoN: Wow, that is perfect alignment.
KB: At first, being on camera silent-acting was really awkward for me. I’m acting things out, but I’m not talking to the camera. It's not like my voice is being recorded. I do the voice-over after the fact. So, being in those restaurants, moving my lips, and not saying anything was really weird and really awkward. I was even consulting my friends, asking if I should move my lips and match them with a voiceover, so it was a real process [of] seeing what worked the best. I finally found a groove, and it took off.
xoN: Do you use a script when filming?
KB: Well, I outline it. I write the whole season in advance, but for each episode, I’ll do an outline of one sheet with a synopsis of the episode at the top with a location and my intentions with the episode. I think it's good to set your intentions before you do something like this. I’ll also have the scene breakdown; I need a scene with this character doing this, and I need a scene with this character doing that. Then I’ll pick out my outfits while coordinating like, if Emily is wearing this color then my character will wear another color.
xoN: We’re all rooting for you as viewers; however, we see you taking accountability and reflecting on your actions as an intern in the fashion industry and how you could have done better. How important are those self-check-ins when things are not going as planned?
KB: I’ve always taken accountability, I’ve always been able to admit when I'm wrong, and I’ve always sat down and asked myself why a situation happened the way it did. What could I have done differently? How could I have made this person happier? That’s always been my style. Maybe it’s because I’m a little self-deprecating, I’m hard on myself, and I’m a people-pleaser. I’ve always taken time to self-reflect, and a lot of times, I was in the right for standing up for myself because you have to. You’ll be taken advantage of, and people will walk all over you.
You have to show people how they can treat you. In my 20’s I just didn’t know how to harness my power. I didn’t know how to stand up for myself. I had a ton of attitude, letting people know they can’t talk to me in any type of way.
When really, as an intern, you’re starting from the bottom, you haven't made a name for yourself, you have no projects behind you, no credibility, so I had to learn how to be humble and learn what I need to learn while taking all that knowledge and put it into my own career which is what I eventually ended up doing.
xoN: What do you envision for "Thanks Kandice Banks" in the future?
KB: I want to eventually have a whole team. I have ideas for branding and logos. I want to start doing more commercials and teasers for each episode. I want to market this as a real show. I look at Issa [Rae] as a blueprint, and that’s the No. 1 comment I get, “You’re the next Issa Rae!”
I think she and I do have similarities as far as using the internet to put out our content. I know someone is going to pick up my show, too, but fundamentally, we are completely different people. She’s not serving fashion. She’s a great storyteller. When I make it, I’m going to be serving y’all looks and editorials. I’m going to do it completely differently than she is doing it. I can’t wait to have my movies. Once I get to that point, I plan to be in my own lane.
xoN: I can see your creative growth from the first season to your current, even in the way you film. Now I see it more as she wants to be on TV! Where do you envision people watching Kandace Banks?
KB: Of course, you know I’ve really thought about this. I can see it being on a Netflix or HBO Max but Apple has phenomenal shows. I don’t know who’s running content at Apple, but they’re doing a great job. The shows there are so good. Apple, pick me up!
xoN: We see comedies, but we don’t see shows that are fashion-focused.
KB: And Black! Where's the Black version of The Devil Wears Prada? Where’s the BlackGossip Girl or Clueless for the people? Not just Black actors but really for us. I want to be the first.
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xoN: Why do you feel your story needed to be told?
KB: Nobody realizes how toxic the fashion industry is. They think it's all glitz and glam. They think it's all about putting people in beautiful gowns and dresses when really there’s politics within the fashion industry. There’s no pay. The fact that I was working a restaurant job on the side, knowing I shouldn’t have been taking any orders, delivering meals. I was the worst server ever. Restaurant life was not for me, but I had to do what I had to do to make money. They [fashion internships] didn’t even pay for my subway tickets, nothing.
I feel like my story needs to be told because it’s really cut-throat, really hard, and it hasn’t been told from a Black point of view. I have such a clear vision for it in my head. I just need the funding and a team.
xoN: What advice would you give someone pursuing a career in fashion or any other industry and not really seeing the results they anticipated?
KB: I would tell them, nothing ever goes as planned. God, laughs at plans. Keep your head down and expect the unexpected. There will be curve balls thrown constantly, but nothing worth having comes easily. Your career is worth the fight. When things get hard, you have to keep the bigger picture in mind and remember why you started, and just keep going. You also have to know when to be humble and take criticism, but you also have to know when to stand up for yourself. There's a time and place for both.
You have to expect to work really hard. I didn’t expect to work as hard as I had to. If you go in with the mentality of having to hustle and grind, unfortunately, that’s what you’re going to have to do. People are going to treat you terribly, but you have to be confident within yourself to know that you can't take anything personal. At the end of the day, you have to do your best work and give it all you got and know that you’ve tried your hardest.
xoN: What are your thoughts on knowing when to pivot if things aren't working out as planned and being pulled in another direction?
KB: I had no idea Hollywood would be calling my name. I had no idea I would decide to be an actress, director, and producer. This new endeavor that I am on encompasses everything that I’m good at. I believe that styling was just my introduction to one thing, and God said this is just a piece of the picture, a crumb of what’s in store for you. I was so sad when styling didn’t work out, but little did I know this would be my story that's going to make it to the big screen.
You can watch seasons 1-3 of "Thanks, Kandice Banks" on Instagram @_Kandace or Tiktok @Kandace.Banks.
Featured image courtesy
Since my "big chop" in early 2018, I've fully committed to wearing natural hairstyles as a way to maintain healthy hair. As a self-proclaimed naturalista, wearing protective styles have been a great alternative to my wash-and-go routine, allowing my hair to remain tucked away while minimizing manipulation and breakage.
Rotating hairstyles such as braids, wigs, and twists gives my hair a break from nasty seasonal weather conditions while also allowing me to save so much time from not styling each and every morning. Although my intentions of wearing protective styles to save my hair from damage are effective, wearing these styles alone isn't enough to ensure that I'm reaping 100 percent of the benefits.
As a Black woman with tight coils, I was never taught how to take care of my natural hair, let alone how to keep my scalp happy while living an active lifestyle. Now that I am older and have more responsibilities, including a weekly workout routine, it's even more important to have the right products that assist in the protection of my hair and scalp while not solely relying on protective styles to give me healthy hair results that I desire.
Maintaining Your Natural Hair While Working Out
As an active naturalista, it's even more vital that I protect my strands, cleansing my hair of sweat that damages my scalp, especially with gym closures, and working out regularly outdoors. To combat the damage from outdoor elements, I took it upon myself to find the best products that will not only nurture my strands but are created by women who know and understand the natural hair struggle.
While it's easy to protect our hair in the spirit of hair growth, according to Natalya Moosa of Afrocenchix, "Prepping your hair in anticipation of wearing a protective style is key in your hair routine. This starts with ensuring the hair is clean and free of any prior product buildup which otherwise could lead to breakage."
As a general rule, we should begin any and every protective hairstyle with freshly cleansed and moisturized hair but it's maintaining that clean and healthy hair underneath that adds to the benefit of each style, meaning daily and weekly care is still required especially when working out.
Sunday II Sunday Haircare
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
While there are so many products in the "Ethnic Hair Care" section at my local Target claiming to relieve that annoyingly severe dry itchy scalp when my hair is in braids, I've never stumbled upon products that are effective, lasting throughout the day. To combat my post-gym hair and calm my itchy scalp, I decided to try Sunday II Sunday's Moisture Balance Kit for the first time, and what a great decision it was.
Known as the athleisure of haircare, this black-owned company has created a wide range of products to benefit the active woman by removing excess sweat and restoring the moisture our hair so desperately needs.
The Moisture Balance Kit is the ultimate collection created to protect hair against unwanted moisture such as sweat while relieving uncomfortable itch, transforming the scalp within minutes. The kit attests to a fully transformed scalp guaranteed within 28 days of use for all hair types. Even for those less active, this is a great kit for all of us struggling to control the irritating scalp itch that is so common when wearing protective hairstyles.
Sunday II Sunday Review: The Moisture Balance Kit
Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
Sunday II Sunday Root Refresh Micellar Rinse Review
I've never experienced instant long-lasting relief until using the ROOT REFRESH Micellar Rinse infused with apple cider vinegar and micellar water. The dry shampoo replacement is a lightweight cleansing breakthrough product that revives, renews, and refreshes your hair and scalp. It's perfect in between wash days with no shower required. I love using this spray after a workout as well as a cleansing spray every other day to refresh my scalp.
With an amazing smell described as "fresh crisp apples", my review of the Root Refresh Micellar Rinse is that the apple cider vinegar is not overpowering and offers a perfect balance to cleanse while providing a fresh scent, removing unwanted odors from outside elements.
Sunday II Sunday Revive Me Daily Moisturizing Spray
Along with the Root Refresh Rinse, the addition of the Revive Me Daily Moisturizing Spray is absolutely necessary to combat dry itchy scalp. This award-winning lightweight moisturizing mist calmed my hair and revived my scalp adding shine and nourishment. I instantly felt relief using this product directly after the Root Refresh Rinse.
I use this spray once a day in the morning after showering or at night throughout the week. This product can also be used to refresh curls and is a universal moisturizing spray perfect for any natural hairstyle.
Courtesy of Sunday II Sunday
Sunday II Sunday Soothe Me Daily Scalp Serum Review
One-fourth of the moisturizing kit, Soothe Me Daily Scalp Serum is everything I've ever needed in my life when it comes to scalp relief. I'm convinced the addition of this serum is what locks in the moisturizer needed to cool and soothe my inflamed scalp. As a wig-wearer, the itch can feel uncontrollable however this extremely lightweight yet effective cooling serum is infused with peppermint oil relieving my dry scalp within minutes when paired with the Revive Me Spray and Root Refresh.
Used in the morning or at night, pre-or post-workout, as a daily refresher or to calm dry scalp due to protective styles, this is a must-have serum for women looking for a product that actually works to relieve itch all day long.
Sunday II Sunday Edge Flourish Daily Nourishing Serum
Last but certainly not least, EDGE FLOURISH Daily Nourishing Serum, is the perfect serum to bring my edges back to life. With sensitive skin, I'm always skeptical of products that are for my edges because it's used so close to my face and I fear breakouts but this edge serum is lightweight with the perfect consistency that doesn't feel too heavy or clogs the pores. With natural ingredients and a silicone-free formula, this serum consists of biotin, coconut oil, sunflower seed oil, and safflower seed oil to deliver healthier and stronger edges.
It's suggested to apply directly to your edges and nape, gently massaging the serum into your edges with your fingertips to nourish and protect before and after styling. When in need of a serum to repair damaged edges that are sometimes caused by our protective hairstyles, my review of this product is that the formula completely nourishes, moisturizes, refreshes, and renews to help keep your edges fully intact.
Overall, the Sunday II Sunday Moisturizing Kit is complete with everything you need for daily haircare.
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Featured image by Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
Originally published on December 18, 2020
As the winter flows through its final days, we encounter Pisces Season with a warm yet passionate embrace. Tapping into our innermost thoughts and emotions, we’re never really in the present, either reminiscing on the past or romanticizing our future. From our complex imaginations to concrete realities, those born as this particular water sign have a way of knowing exactly what we want and how we choose to represent ourselves, especially when it comes to fashion.
How to Dress Like a Pisces
Like our hearts, we wear our emotions on our sleeves, opting for clothing and accessories based solely on how we feel from the inside out. Independent by nature, we all have a distinct stylish approach to the world which cannot be defined or confirmed by anything other than how we decide to reveal ourselves to those around us.
Known for our dreamy disposition and outgoing personalities, Pisces tend to gravitate towards statement pieces with bold feminine attributes, never failing to possess main character energy. No matter one’s mood, you can always count on us to have fun, opting for colorful tones, design details, and carefully selected accessories we’ve collected over the years.
Most notable Piscean style icons such as Rihanna, Lupita Nyong’o, and Erykah Badu are all known for dramatic style, while confidently taking risks oftentimes in uniquely oversized garments with bodacious prints and artistic silhouettes. Never failing to make a look of one's own, now is when Pisces thrive most, even when it feels like the season of most resistance.
Dreamy Outfit Ideas for Pisces
As we continue to pace ourselves throughout this sentimental time of year, keep scrolling as we’ve gathered a few Pisces-inspired outfit ideas for those celebrating another year around the sun this season or who simply want to embody the dreamy aspects of this one-of-a-kind sign.
What To Wear to a Birthday Dinner
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Hate it or love it but the birthday dinner is the most convenient way to gather our loved ones in the same building as we don’t care for organizing events. It’s not often we experience all of our closest friends at the same time so we take this moment each year to celebrate those who have stuck beside us in our highest of highs and dramatic lows.
To lessen the traumatic stress that comes along with planning a birthday, a classic little black dress is all we need. With a pop of skin and form-fitted detail, this ruched Norma Kamali halter dress is perfect for the thirty-something-year-old maturing Pisces. Paired with a chunky gold necklace, gold heels, and a classic clutch, this is a timeless look you’ll love forever.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
What To Wear on a Wine Tour
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
As one who loves adventure, wine tasting is the perfect excursion for a spontaneous Pisces. For a daytime look within Napa Valley or caravaning throughout Malibu Hills, a beige trouser and lime green fitted vest may be more of a perfect pairing than the wine and cheese platter.
A sign who loves taking risks, off-white wide-leg pants just feel perfect for the moment, regardless of the potential for deep red wine.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
What To Wear on Your Solo Date
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Never afraid of solitude, we love to celebrate a special day by enjoying our own company. Independent, passionate, and sensitive to both creative expressions of the imagination, the perfect birthday consists of doing whatever we want on our own terms.
A day at the museum would be top of the list, as we have a tendency to be led by good taste in visual arts. Accessorize a lightweight co-ord set paired with a sneaker, minimal gold jewelry, and an oversized statement coat to embody Pisces energy while living your best life.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
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Featured image Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Originally published on March 9, 2023
Quiet Luxury Is The Secret To The Rich Wife Aesthetic: Here's How To Achieve The Look
Throughout centuries, signs of fortune and wealth have been depicted through a louder, more luxurious appearance. From precious jewels to the finest furs, elites have been able to speak a common language through fashion and extravagance. In 2024, when money talks, it's loud with monogram logos and large graphics.
Wealth whispers, screaming effortless taste and style. A low-key approach to luxury, it can be described as an "anti-trend" by maintaining the same aesthetic characteristics over the years, focusing on quality, design, and polished craftsmanship.
What Exactly Is Quiet Luxury?
Quiet luxury is rooted in understated heroes, exuding power and sophistication. It's the subtle details with a minimalist aesthetic that portray passion, confidence, and wealth. Think Sabrina Elba meets Jasmine Tookes with a hint of Michelle Obama. Whether day-to-day shopping, cocktail parties, or a casual day out, it’s more than style. Quiet luxury is a state of mind, a way of life that anyone can aspire to.
Muted colors such as black, brown, and beige are at the core of quiet luxury, with minimal hardware and discreet logo-less designs that give off its sophisticated, anonymously chic appeal.
Rich Wife Aesthetic: Sabrina Elba exuding quiet luxury as she attends Paris Fashion Week.
Darren Gerrish/Getty Images for Victoria Beckham
To achieve the rich-wife aesthetic, less is more with quality, timeless designs, fine everyday jewelry, and designer denim. With these attributes, the key to achieving quiet luxury is not being influenced by trends but gravitating towards statement pieces that are essential and more sustainable.
Need more defining features of rich-wife energy? Below, see what they’re wearing to master this subtle chic way of life.
Mastering the Quiet Luxury Aesthetic: The Blazer
A quality blazer is a staple that is worth investing in. No matter the season, a structured luxe look can be easily achieved with an oversized silhouette with a matching trouser, straight-legged denim, or a dress along with statement jewelry or a classic watch. The possibilities are both easy and endless.
Jasmine Tookes shows a quality blazer is worth the investment.
Rachpoot/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images
Mastering the Quiet Luxury Aesthetic: The White Button Down
A simple yet powerful item to include on your list of rich wife essentials is a button-down collared shirt. This core item is worth seeking a quality fit and material to achieve the right look. Tuck in or leave out for an effortless feel, from resort wear to an everyday casual look.
A white button down is a simple yet powerful staple to include in your rich wife essentials.
Rachpoot/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images
Mastering the Quiet Luxury Aesthetic: Denim
Denim is a staple in everyone's wardrobe; however, fit and quality are what separates the rich mom aesthetic from others. Pair a straight-leg pant with denim or a white button-down with a loafer and oversized tote for a conspicuously chic moment.
Quality is what separates how quiet luxury does denim from the others.
Edward Berthelot/Getty Images
Mastering the Quiet Luxury Aesthetic: Overstated Wool Coat
Just because it's quiet doesn’t mean there can’t be any statements. The underestimated power of a quality wool coat demonstrates true style and elegance. Layer with a wrap-around oversized scarf is the cherry on top of a minimal masterpiece.
Nothing says true style and elegance quite like a wool coat.
Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images for Gucci
Mastering the Quiet Luxury Aesthetic: The Shopper
RIP to the mini bag; oversized totes are back and bigger than ever. With intricate details and textured designs, there’s a level of maturity and sophistication when splurging on a designer shopper. Style with a wool trench, denim jeans, a white tee, and casual sneakers for an on-the-go luxe look.
Lingeer (L) and James Corbin (R) serve muted looks without sacrificing personal style during Paris Fashion Week.
Jeremy Moeller/Getty Images
Mastering the Quiet Luxury Aesthetic: The Slingback Heel
The epitome of class, the slingback is a conservative yet elegant heel. Layer with stockings or wear with long-length denim for a range of occasions. Details are extremely important, especially for an individual take on the style. Look out for hardware and heel silhouettes for a more modern option.
The epitome of class, Emilie Joseph demonstrates how to rock the conservative yet elegant slingback heels.
Edward Berthelot/Getty Images
Mastering the Quiet Luxury Aesthetic: Knitted Maxi Dress
A maxi dress is worn during any part of the year, no matter the season. A long-length blazer or wool trench is the perfect top layer. Pair with chunky clogs or keep it simple with a calf boot and statement earrings.
Mastering the Quiet Luxury Aesthetic: Soft Cargo Pants
The cargo pants are having a long run and not letting up any time soon. Doubling as a trouser, the comfort and utility of the wide straight leg is a no-brainer in the quiet luxe category. Pair with high heels or boots for a slightly edgier take on the look.
The cargo pants are here to stay, and they absolutely give in the category of rich wife aesthetic.
Valentina Frugiuele/Getty Images
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Is The Jonathan Owens-Simone Biles Conversation A Sign Of Where Women Pursuing Men Has Led Us?
The internet was set ablaze in the last weeks of December 2023 when Simone Biles' husband, Jonathan Owens, was interviewed by The Pivot Podcast, explaining how he and his wife met. A safety for the Green Bay Packers, Owens stated he had no idea who his seven-time Olympic gold medalist wife was when they initially matched on an online dating app. The most decorated gymnast in American history connected with her now husband in 2020 after sliding into his DMs while he was in a football training camp.
Driving 45 minutes to meet Owens for their first date, Simone saw something she couldn’t resist. “I know what I like and I know what I want,” she stated confidently about their relationship in the past. When asked how an unknown football player managed to bag a woman as accomplished as Simone Biles, Owens stated on the podcast, “I always say the man is the catch.”
If that wasn’t enough to agitate women around the world, he continued to reminisce on how love found him unexpectedly. “I was fighting it. At the time, I was afraid to commit.”
Simone Biles' Husband Jonathan Owens Says He's the 'Catch' Over HerSimone Biles and her husband, Green Bay Packers safety Jonathan Owens, stopped by 'The Pivot' podcast and opened up about ...
Owens, being in his third year as a professional athlete, was apprehensive, to say the least, but says the connection was instant. “If she didn’t message me, chances are my mind would have gone somewhere else,” he continued. “She messaged me, and she wasn’t scared.”
Unsurprisingly, the interview quickly went viral, with women sharing the same sentiments across cultures. How could an unknown athlete feel as though he’s the catch in comparison to his superstar wife?
What Makes Someone a "Catch"?
A "catch" is typically an ideal partner, however, this term isn’t gender specific. One who is kind, intelligent, financially secure, attractive, and on a mission to live a wholesome and happy life. On the contrary, women with valued traits are often referred to as "a prize." According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of a prize is "something offered or striven for in competition or in contests of chance," "something exceptionally desirable," or "a contest for a reward." Synonyms of the word "prize" include "treasure," "gem," "jewel," "gold," and even "catch."
In today’s society, men and women seem to have conflicting opinions on what is and who is indeed the catch within a relationship, especially one as high profile as Simone Biles and Jonathan Owens. Recognizing how tiring it can be to constantly analyze relationship dynamics on the internet, especially in the Black community, it’s still a hot topic that's important and worthy of a healthy conversation.
The modern feminine mentally has been shaped to be independent, self-sustaining, smart, and hard-working whilst maintaining her beauty and physique. Single women who are perceived to balance those attributes are typically looking for a valuable man to settle down with who can offer similar traits if not more, also known as “a good catch.”
Whether we believe this to be true or false about Jonathan Owens in regards to him being “the catch” in comparison to his gold medalist wife, Simone saw an opportunity and seized it.
Simone Biles and Jonathan Owens pose on the field prior to Game One of the 2022 World Series.
Carmen Mandato/Getty Images
The interview shattered the internet and sparked a larger debate about modern dating, relationships, and labels. Like many, something about the conversation initially made me feel uneasy. Regardless of my personal bias towards whether a woman should pursue a man, it was how Owens arrogantly referred to himself as “a catch” and admitted to seemingly having no interest in having a relationship with his now wife and that there was no attraction from his end.
To get a better understanding of his perspective, I spoke with five single men in their 30s on their definition of a good catch and why they believe women from across cultural spectrums are upset at Owens for labeling himself as such.
A man can definitely be the catch. Women are often upset on the internet about this because they think it’s impossible for a man to be a catch. If a man is a provider, if he makes a certain amount of money with a certain amount of status, he can be the catch. In [Jonathan Owens'] situation as Simone Biles' husband, he may not be the catch because his wife is more accomplished and decorated than him.
"If he was an NFL player dating a regular girl, he would be the catch because he has a certain level of financial and social status, but since he’s dating a decorated gymnast, I think he’s not the catch. Being a good catch could be a multitude of things like who’s the better-looking one, who’s the most financially stable, who has the better job. It could be a combination of things.” - Brandon, 31
“I think people were overreacting. I don’t think it’s a problem for a man to feel like the catch or sometimes even being the prize. You’re one of the top athletes in the world and a multi-millionaire. As a Black man, you’re in a very small percentage. If you also have amazing qualities as a man, you’re definitely a catch (laughs). I think I’m a catch. I make great money, a family man, an amazing father, a gentleman, a model. I don’t think it’s many like me walking around, and I say that humbly. I think that makes me a catch. I shouldn’t have to feel less than in the dating game because I’m not a woman.” - Corey, 31
“Most of these discussions are aimed at fanning the flames of this internet 'gender war' keeping us on opposing sides rather than coming together. Especially in the Black community. What I appreciate about the Jonathan Owens interview is the genuine honesty he displayed. What I loved about what Simone did is that she saw what she wanted and went after it! She jumped in his DMs, she took the initiative and drove to the city to come see him while he was in training camp, and saw for herself if this was a man she could see herself with long term, and if this was a man that could lead her and their potential family. She determined all of that with confidence and grace. She did it without ego and other societal pressures.
"I believe women will have much better outcomes in dating if they focus more on the men they actually want versus only dealing with the men that speak to them or are in close proximity. Men are more focused on achieving and building a foundation for themselves and their future family. Women should focus on aligning themselves with a strong man who is being led by a higher power in pursuit of their goals and purpose. A man that is seeing success or showing signs of success and discipline in his life. Because as we all know every male isn’t a husband, and a female isn’t a wife!
"A woman who finds herself a husband, he is her prize. She shows him off, she takes on his name, she beats out all the other women, and she was 'the one' that got him to settle down. A man who finds a wife has found himself a treasure. He protects and cherishes her because that is the most precious, beautiful, and important thing to him. She shines bright, and he will always handle her with care and keep her shielded so other men won’t try to take her.” - Brandon, 36
"A man being a catch is certainly a flip of what we are usually used to (the woman being the catch). It actually shines a small light on the fact that there is and isn’t a lot of men that women can choose from these days. Part of that reasoning is how the system is set up to stop the growth of Black families, the prison system, social media, etc. I think a man being a catch is a good concept. It shows that we are needed in this world. It puts good pressure on us to be the best version of ourselves. Being a catch is important.
"To me, it means becoming the best version of yourself. Becoming suitable and mature enough to lead a woman and a family. To lead the next generation of you. Being spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially fit to take on all that life can throw at us. Not too many good quality men around for women to choose from, so, yes I support men aiming and carrying themselves as the catch. The woman is the catch just as much. It can literally apply to both sexes." - Vik, 31
“There are more women than men. You can find beautiful women just about anywhere. A grocery store, laundry mat, walking down the street, sporting events, etc. It’s harder to find a good looking respectable, respectful, financially stable man.” - Kamron, 34
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Over the years, there’s been a clear shift in dating and gender roles. Men, who seemingly have more options, have grown accustomed to women putting in more work for a chance at a committed relationship. In this case, Owens feels he’s the prize because Simone Biles led him to believe so by pursuing him from the start, regardless of her all-star status. While he may be a good catch, there was no mention of him seeing his wife as such when asked how he landed the seven-time Olympic champion.
While successful men should be acknowledged for what they’ve worked hard for, it’s important to recognize an amazing woman when they see one. Women who have it all: success, money, and fame can seek a good catch while allowing a man to take the lead in his pursuits of a wife, a lover, and a best friend, which is the ultimate prize.
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As a Black woman, there’s not a day that goes by when I’m not thinking about my hair and how I’ll style it the next time I’m in the salon chair. The winter season is perfect for a wake-up-and-go hairstyle simply because the weather is unpredictable, and I focus on doing as little as possible this time of year.
Depending on your region, the next few months can produce heavy rain and snow that calls for protective styles to save your natural coils or just a dry chilling cold that allows you to take advantage of a bone-straight bob.
Adding personality and individualism to a look is a challenge I look forward to, along with trying new styles I’ve yet to wear. Every year, there are hair trends that gain more popularity and those that are classic styles no matter the month or the season, and it's fun to make them your own.
Whether you plan to keep it simple, experiment with a fun new cut, or just don’t know what direction you're in the mood for, check out the following looks that are trending this winter for the inspiration you never knew you needed.
1. Blunt Bob
A straight, blunt bob is one of my favorite hairstyles. The versatility is unmatched no matter the time of year. It elevates one's persona by its sophisticated essence and appearance of maturity in the chicest way possible.
2. Braided Ponytail
Another sleek option for a low-maintenance look is a braided ponytail. I prefer the updo when in transition from one protective style to the next while still wanting to feel effortlessly chic. Dressed up or down, the braided ponytail snatches in all the right places.
3. Natural Curls
It's important to consider the outside elements when contemplating a natural hairstyle. During the winter, the air is colder, which makes it unwise to wear wet hair outdoors, which can lead to the risk of getting sick. A wig is a great way to protect your hair without compromising your natural journey. I love a curly wig because while I appreciate my curls, I can protect them with another natural-looking option.
4. Large Box Braids
Box braids have been a favorite for a range of Black women over the decades, and this winter, the size has become bigger and bolder. Maybe our patience has grown thin sitting for eight hours in a salon chair, so instead, we’ve chosen a softer life that dictates a quicker routine. You can style large individuals with an endless amount of looks.
5. Alicia Keys Cornrows
Inspiring the term, singer Alicia Keys was the first mainstream artist to popularize cornrows and, in particular, their designs. Another protective style, cornrows have become more intricate with patterned lines and shapes. These are not the cornrows I grew up wearing but more of an artistic take that keeps our eyes busy like a complex maze.
6. Slick Pixie Cut
Sexy, stylish, and cool is how I like to describe a slicked-down pixie. The bold short hairdo is adorned by women who don’t seem tied down to society’s rules about women’s hair and instead look at it as a work of art. Crafting the hair into soft feminine shapes, a pixie cut offers a fearless and creative take on shorter styles.
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