Spring is starting to give what it's supposed to give and that means it's time to get your house in order. Shoes, accessories and clothes are just some of the things we are standardizing as the temperatures reach new heights. More importantly, we are preparing for the hairstyles that will match the spring fare.
One thing about Black women, they don't play about their "HAIR(itage)". We spotted this term on Yara Shahidi's Instagram and it perfectly encapsulates our love for donning queen-like hairstyles. It represents who we are: change-makers.
When thinking of our HAIR(itage), we can't help but appreciate the way our African lineage plays a major part in how we continue to redefine our beauty through our tresses. Braids have been on trend since before trends were a thing. We are talking B.C. – before Christ, not before coronavirus. Dating back to the days when Queen Nefertiti ruled, braids have served as a form of art. Each strand is steeped in feminine power and unique creativity. To this day, they continue to empower us to wear our crowns boldly. While you have natural inspiration flowing through your veins, we are here to help with what's popping this spring. Ahead, find nine braid styles that have been lighting up our braid-ar.
Nhyira
Not only did Nhyira abuse us with her melanin but she also snatched all of our edges with this knotless braids style. Knotless braids are one of the most popular braid styles with its convenience and flexibility. Because it does not include the small knot that starts at the root like traditional box braids, they don't put as much tension and stress on your hair. This queen went for a classic half up-half down style and it is perfection.
Caleb
Caleb went for the knotless style but made it her own with curly coils in a bob form. The honey gold hue of her braids complements her skin like magic. The two single strands in her face is giving us 90s sitcom vibes and we all know that those were the best of times for style and hair.
Fayla
You heard our sis! The category is spring so it's time to let your creativity bloom. Butterfly clips are wildly nostalgic and while TikTok will have you thinking it's a new trend, it's been around for decades. You know a Black woman started this trend too. This aesthetic brings back so many memories. One of my favorites was going to the beauty supply store to cop the latest butterfly clips. Ugh, those were the days!
Emani
Can you believe Emani created this beaded braid look all by herself? She's basically superhuman at this point. It takes real skill to cornrow your own hair and also braid individuals in the back. This style shapes her face like a dream. It's a simple style but the beads elevate it to the highest of heights. Cornrows and beads have been popular since the 70s and we don't think they are going anywhere any time soon.
Morgan
Courtesy of Morgan
Straight backs are the old faithful. Our ancestors provided us with a hairstyle that has withstood centuries and we couldn't be more thankful. It might be one of the most prolific styles across time, genders and cultures. Morgan decided to add extensions to hers for length but she could also rock this style with her luxurious natural hair. We recommend this style for your upcoming vacays once the world really opens up.
Dineo
Looking for a sleek and chic braided option? Dineo is showing exactly how to pull it off. The braided pony is one style that can be worn for various occasions. No more excuses for not working out because you can literally hit the gym, shower then hit up a happy hour with this style. See the way it has Dineo glowing? That could you be you, boo.
Yordanos
Yordanos has put us on to a whole new style with this hybrid creation. This is what happens when jumbo braids meet bubble curls. According to Yordanos, this style was a mistake. The 2 a.m. adventure left her with the wrong packs of hair so she made the best of a tricky situation. It's really the way she innovated a whole hairstyle for us.
Chey
Tribal braids on Chey is all the inspiration needed. So much so that she inspired me to get this style. After searching the gram for my latest 'do, I found this photo and it was love at first sight. The color and the length exuded all the strength and flair I desired. Best of all, I can create various looks with this style to do some shape-shifting.
Krissy
This list wouldn't be complete without our very own hair goddess, Krissy Lewis, in these Pop Smoke-inspired braids. The cornrow style occasionally uses the stitch method, where the hair is sectioned into thin or thick horizontal lines using braiding hair. Since the rapper made the style popular, it has been trending upwards for months. Krissy is a whole mood with this style; we have added it to our list of must-try styles.
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Featured image via Yara Shahidi/Instagram
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
____
I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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