To me, a Black woman's hair is a lot like silk. In some ways, it's extremely fragile while in others, it's strong as nails. Just think about it. Our hair can endure heat, braids, weaves and wigs and all of the freaking chemicals that we put in it for weeks and sometimes even months on end. On the flip side, when we don't eat properly, stay hydrated, condition our hair and clip those split and/or dead ends, our strands can snap without barely even touching them. That is why a lot of us struggle with keeping the edges of our hair and the nape of our neck flourishing (well, that and beating our edges to death with alcohol-based edge control products).
If a goal that you've got this year is to see some more inches on your head, and you're hoping that your edges and nape will keep up, here are seven things that you can do to get both of the most fragile parts of your head to "walk in agreement" with you.
How To Grow Your Edges & The Nape Of Your Neck
1. Use Some DIY Shampoo
The sides of our hair and the nape of our neck can take on quite a bit of friction which can result in weak hair and damaged follicles. Then, when you add to that the sweat and product build-up that our hair also endures, sometimes it's best to avoid commercial brands of shampoos and go the au naturel route. If you'd like to treat your hair to a chemical-less cleaning experience, try this DIY shampoo recipe.
In a plastic bottle, mix:
- 3 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar (the kind that still has "the mother" in it; it clarifies your hair and scalp)
- 1 tablespoon of baking soda (it also clarifies your hair and scalp)
- 1 teaspoon of jojoba oil (it strengthens hair while preventing hair loss)
- 4 drops of lavender oil (it reduces scalp inflammation and encourages hair growth)
- 3 drops of tea tree oil (its antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties remove bacteria and dead skin)
- 2 drops of peppermint oil (it stimulates hair growth)
Fill the rest of the bottle up with warm distilled water. Shake the bottle and then apply the shampoo to your damp hair, making sure to massage your scalp; especially your edges and nape. Let the shampoo penetrate for 5-7 minutes. Then rinse and deep condition (making sure to pay extra attention to your edges and nape) as usual.
2. Massage and Moisturize
Since it's the nutrients in our blood that feed our hair follicles, it is important that we increase the blood flow to our scalp. A great way to do that is to massage your scalp, for 15 minutes, no less than a couple of times each week. In fact, if you want to significantly increase the thickness of your hair, you should perform a scalp massage on a daily basis.
If you'd prefer to use an actual massager on your head, Naptural85 posted a pretty thorough review on some of her favorite ones (you can check that out here). But honestly, your fingertips can be just as effective. Another YouTuber who goes by ANGIEBEE broke down how to effectively use your hands on your head here. Please just make sure that your hands are clean, that you use the tips of your fingers and not your nails—oh, and that you put some oil on your fingers before you begin. Jamaican black castor oil is a great one because, not only does it moisturize your scalp and hair, it is also able to thicken and strengthen it over time too.
3. Add Camphor Oil to Your Hair Regimen
If you're a fan of essential oils, you definitely need to add camphor to your collection. The properties in it can do everything from reduce pain and inflammation and treat nail fungus to treat eczema and promote a good night's rest. The reason why camphor oil is mentioned in this article is because it's also a wonderful stimulant and decongestant. If you apply it to your edges and nape, not only will it increase blood circulation to those areas so that your hair follicles will get more of the nutrients that they need, but it will help to heal any scalp infections that you might have too. Just make sure to use this oil with a carrier one like coconut, grapeseed, avocado, sweet almond oil or castor oil. 15 drops of camphor in a 4 oz. bottle of your carrier oil should have you pretty set. You should start to see real results within a month or so.
4. Lower Your “Chemical Dosage”
I rocked a texturizer for many, many years. Contrary to a lot of people's beliefs about 'em, texturizers are chemical relaxers; they just aren't as strong as the ones that we use in order to get our hair bone straight. Anyway, because I would cut and texturize my hair at home (often too), when I did finally decide to grow my hair out, it took a while for one side of my edges to catch on that I was serious. What I mean by that is, all of the chemical processing (including hair dye) had actually damaged some of my hair follicles. It has taken a couple of years of scalp massaging and babying that side of my head with Jamaican black castor oil (my personal favorite brand is Mango & Lime in lavender and rosemary) to get the thickness back. What that time has taught me is, it really is best to leave the chemicals totally alone.
But, if you must, make sure that you relax and color your edges and nape last. Also, make sure you leave that stuff on for a shorter amount of time. If you're not doing that, well, it makes total sense why your edges and nape may not be flourishing as much as you'd like for them to. Chemicals tend to do more harm than good.
5. Rebuild Your Hair Follicles with Supplements
You're not going to see much change on the outside if you don't shift some of what you're feeding your insides. That said, it's not a random coincidence that a lot of people who deal with hair breakage are typically low in certain nutrients. Vitamin C (via foods like citrus fruits, sweet potatoes and tomatoes) helps to neutralize free radicals. There are studies that connect a lack of hair retention in Black women to them being low in iron (you can get more iron by eating blackstrap molasses, lentils and chicken). Zinc (by way of foods including whole grains, seeds and eggs) works to give your hair follicles the protein that they need. B-complex (which you can get from eating salmon, dark leafy greens and beef) strengthens the structure of your hair strands. Vitamin D (via cheese, orange juice and fortified cereals) helps to regrow hair follicles. If you want to get some extra support outside of adding foods with these to your diet, you can always take a multivitamin or a supplement that has one or more of these in it.
6. Move Your Hair Accessories Around
I'm a hat kind of gal. Unapologetically so. But I did have to start lining some of mine with satin and lay off of rocking them the same way all of the time because the friction was weakening the sides of my hair. I don't care if it's a brim, a headband or a turban, no one's head was designed to keep something on it, all day and night, non-stop, for days and weeks on end. When you do wear hair accessories, make sure they are lined so that your hair is protected and doesn't dry out (learn how to line a turban here and a beanie here). Try and avoid always placing your accessories in the same spot, each and every time too. And, for heaven's sake, give your hair a break. Your scalp needs to breathe, just like any other part of your body. And because your edges and nape tend to be more on the fragile side, they could use time when they don't have to deal with so much "pressure".
7. Leave Your Hair Alone
Combs. Brushes. Hair dryers. Flat irons. Hands. Bless our hair's heart. While you probably already know that constantly messing with your hair can lead to breakage and potential balding, have you ever wondered why? Dry and brittle hair tends to be the kind that breaks off rather easily and, as Black women (especially if you happen to have type 4 hair), we oftentimes have fragile hair. It's because our curls are so tight that our natural oils aren't able to easily flow from the top of our head to the ends of our hair (which is the oldest part of our hair). As a direct result, we have to be extra careful with how we handle our hair. It needs to be deep conditioned. Protective styling is a good look. But more than anything, we need to just leave it be. The more we touch and style our hair, the more we rob it of the oils that it needs to stay moisturized and "elastic". So, if you want your edges and nape to have more than a couple of inches, leave them alone so that they can grow.
Sometimes the simplest things bring forth the biggest results. Perfect edges mean nothing if they ultimately lead to baldness. Leave them be, chile. Leave. Them. Be.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Looking For Hair Growth? It Might Be Time To Bring 'Blue Magic' Back
7 Essential Oils All Naturalistas Need For Their Hair
Uncommon (But Totally Natural) Things That Are Great For Hair Growth
These Foods Will Give Your Skin & Hair The Moisture They Crave
Feature image by Shutterstock
Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
Credits
Director of Content: Jasmine Grant
Campaign Manager: Chantal Gainous
Managing Editor: Sheriden Garrett
Creative Director/Executive Producer: Tracey Woods
Cover Designer: Tierra Taylor
Photographer: Ally Green
Photo Assistant: Avery Mulally
Digital Tech: Kim Tran
Video by Third and Sunset
DP & Editor: Sam Akinyele
2nd Camera: Skylar Smith
Camera Assistant: Charles Belcher
Stylist: Casey Billingsley
Hairstylist: DaVonte Blanton
Makeup Artist: Drini Marie
Production Assistants: Gade De Santana, Apu Gomes
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Next, look for interchangeable pieces. I love to mix and match to create a look, and I want to wear items that can carry into other seasons. Luckily, finding trendy plus-size resort wear that matches these criteria is easy. So, whether you are searching for something flowy or more revealing, you won’t be disappointed because we have curated a list of this year’s best plus-size resort wear.
Lissette Sheer Tropical Print Wide Leg Pant W. Pockets ($39.90)
(Via Rebdolls)
Rebdolls will always be a favorite due to their sizes, ranging from 0 to 32. Therefore, we are starting this list with the Lissette Sheer Tropical Print Wide Leg Pant W. Pockets These are the perfect sheer pants to add to your vacation wardrobe. It is a part of the “Intro to Summer” Collection and can be dressed up or down. These wide-leg pants are ideal for rectangle and triangle body shapes.
Lisette Sheer Tropical Print Button-Up Shirt ($39.90)
(Via Rebdolls)
Of course, we needed the matching button-up top to match the pants. The Lisette Sheer Tropical Print Button-Up Shirt is the perfect combo with its wide-leg companion above. Whether you wear it over matching pants or as a twist-tie top with a pair of jean shorts, this shirt will not disappoint.
Plus Crochet Ruched Beach Dress ($24.00)
(Via Boohoo)
Boohoo is a hot spot for summer options and consistent sales, making them extremely affordable. Their Plus Crochet Ruched Beach Dress is great for relaxing at the pool or beach. The material is lightweight, and the ruched detail is flattering for all body shapes.
Plus Rust Linen Look Ruched Side Split Midi Dress ($34.00)
(Via Pretty Little Thing)
This is for the girlies who love a high slit. The Plus Rust Linen Look Ruched Side Split Midi Dress from PLT is a must-have glam piece for your getaway. Heads will turn as you walk through any resort or new destination, and it’s flattering for all body types.
Curve & Plus Satin Floral V-Neck Ruffle Hem Dress ($30.00)
(Via ShopCider)
Asymmetrical is in this summer! And adding the Curve & Plus Satin Floral V-Neck Ruffle Hem Dress from Cider is the statement piece to add to your plus-size resort wardrobe. In addition, an asymmetrical dress is flattering for rectangular body shapes.
Satin Duster | Orange Mix ($62.95)
(Via Divno jé)
There’s something about a duster that makes you feel like you’re gliding while you walk. The Satin Duster (Orange Mix) from Divno jé is a showstopping piece that will compliment your tank dresses, shirt, and jeans. This long duster is flattering for all body shapes.
MakeMeChic Women's Plus Size Casual 2 Piece ($40.99)
(Via Amazon)
The MakeMeChic is a cute, casual addition every girl needs. You can add a cropped or regular tank or nothing underneath. The fabric is comfortable and perfect for a beach day or island excursion. Depending on how you choose to style, this set is excellent for all body types.
Gabi Fresh Swim x ELOQUII Ring Front Cutout Coverup Maxi Dress with High Slit ($119.95)
(Via Eloquii)
Gabi Fresh has done it again with her latest collection at Eloquii. This Ring Front Cutout Coverup Maxi Dress with High Slit is a relaxed fit, and the cinched-waist maxi dress is gorgeous. It has cut-outs and a high slit. This dress would work well with an hourglass body shape.
Mini Challis Off Shoulder Hi-Low Skirt Set ($47.95)
(Via Torrid)
This dazzling set is ideal for any cruise, beach day, or stroll through a seaside town. The Mini Challis Off Shoulder Hi-Low Skirt Set gives “main character” vibes. Another two-piece set that can be worn together or separately.
Plus Khaki Twill Cargo Midaxi Skirt ($24.00)
(Via PLT)
Two fashion trends that are in this season are cargo pants and maxi skirts. And Pretty Little Things gives us both with their Plus Khaki Twill Cargo Midaxi Skirt. Style with a combat boot or heel. This is another piece that suits all body shapes.
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