When I think of the icon Queen Latifah, I refer to Oprah Winfrey’s quote about Gayle King: “she is the mother you never had. She is the sister everybody would want. She is the friend that everybody deserves. I simply do not know a better person!”
For her birthday, we’re celebrating Queen’s over three-decade-long acting career and how her repeated role as a love interest put Black women’s beauty front and center on screen.
We saw glimpses of her potential as a rom-com lead in her starring role as Flavor Magazine founder Khadijah James in Living Single. In between her demanding career and kicking it with her girls in a 90s kind of world, she was entertaining a bevy of very fine and successful lovers, from Morris Chestnut, to Cree Williams’ Scooter.
Queen Latifah as Kadijah James on Living Single
CREDIT: EVERETT COLLECTION
It wasn’t until the early 2000s however when Queen would be able to fully embrace her fate as a love interest on the big screen.
In the hip hop centered love story Brown Sugar, Queen plays the best friend to Sanaa Lathan’s main character. While only appearing in a handful of scenes, the scene towards the end when she shares a brief flirtatious encounter with Mos Def’s character deserved to be explored further in its own spinoff film.
Queen would eventually land her own spinoff film with Beauty Shop, the sister film to Barbershop. One of the through lines connecting all of Queen’s characters have been their authenticity. Actress and writer Mindy Kaling once joked about how romantic comedies are akin to science fiction. Fans of the genre find that the suspension of disbelief is a part of its charm. Be that as it may, there’s a lived-iness about the world in which Queen’s characters occupy that feels familiar to me: The communal space of a beauty salon, where the older Black women kiki’d while the much younger girls eavesdropped only to half understand what’s being said anyways; the sound of women’s laughter that punctuated the conversation alongside the sound of running water, and hair dryers and hair curlers.
During a time when the rom-com genre was dominated by thin white women named Meg, Julia, and Sandra, there was a comfort to see a full figured Black woman who wasn’t remotely interested in adhering to those standards. It was always wonderful to see Black women who were reminiscent of my mother and the women in my extended family be loved on in film.
In Just Wright, she plays a basketball-loving physical therapist to Common’s NBA star character who can't get enough of her brains, beauty and heart. In her 2006 Christmas comedy Last Holiday, she plays Georgia, a woman who is propelled by a false medical diagnosis that tells her she only has a short time left on earth to leave her old life behind and live her life to the fullest. Despite its dark premise, we spend about two hours being charmed along with the rest of the characters who have the fortune of crossing paths with Georgia, including LL Cool J’s character who confesses his undying love for the Queen. And while her comedic timing is everything, she is never the butt of any joke.
Even in films like 1996’s Set It Off where she played badass janitor Cleo and 2015’s Bessie where she starred as the legendary blues singer Bessie Smith, Queen showcased Black lesbian love and sex on screen, representing the Black queer love that’s often erased from Black mainstream stories.
Queen’s presence on screen has always felt like a balm without feeling overly twee. She wasn’t an ingenue, a young clumsy woman looking for a man to steady her. She wasn’t a cynic whom love just sort of happens to against her will. Queen carved a career out of playing characters who were fully realized even as they dealt with their struggles. She invited a generation of Black women who were neglected by mainstream film to envision themselves as being worthy of love, or just as her name says, as worthy of being Queen.
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To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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