The four-time NAACP-nominated docuseries was created by husband-and-wife filmmakers Codie and Tommy Oliver, and offers a nice respite from shows like Marriage Bootcamp or the Love and Marriage series, featuring conversations on relationship topics and a refreshing glimpse into the love lives of some of our favorite Black couples who are business leaders, hosts, entertainers, and influencers.
xoNecole caught up with the Olivers, as well as the Norrises about the show and their own journeys in love:
On what to expect for the final season:
Codie Oliver: The overarching theme is what I titled ‘The Finale,’ which is ‘relationship goals.’ And I called it that ironically because ‘relationship goals’ is one of those terms that suggests perfection. We throw that on people who we like. The reality is that, to me, in my experience of doing all these interviews and putting this together, [the] real relationship goal is authenticity and alignment in your partnership.
The title is meant to be ironic. They talk about it explicitly—several of the couples—and what that title means to them, how they feel about having that placed on them, and hopefully our series has shown, again, that the real goal is to be in alignment with your partner and nothing else really matters.
"The reality is that, to me, in my experience of doing all these interviews and putting this together, [the] real relationship goal is authenticity and alignment in your partnership."
By Elton Anderson
The Olivers on authentic connection in their relationship:
Codie: To me, that alignment, that checking in with self and with [a] partner about, like, what do we really want and what do each decision mean for us, whether that is the amount of travel that we are doing or not doing, [or] the amount of time spent working versus with our kids. So, it’s that checking with self and checking in with my partner about what’s making us happy in various phases of life. [It's] recognizing that with every season comes something new, whether it’s ‘newlywed’ or ‘new parent’ or ‘parent of three,’ and that constant conversation around, ‘Are we working to achieve the same goals, small or large?’ ‘Are we happy with how this relationship is progressing and how can we change that or make adjustments to it to make it more fulfilling for both of us?’ I think that’s important for all relationships.
Tommy: During [the pandemic] I really enjoyed being around [Codie] all the time, being around my kids all the time. I also knew it wouldn’t be the case forever, so I made sure to appreciate it for what it was at that point. And so, hopefully, it would be something different. Marriages, relationships, and partnerships—these things have seasons, and you’re in a different one. In a long marriage, you’re going to go through a lot of different seasons and a lot of different experiences and for me, it’s about figuring out how to adapt to where we are because I plan for us to be together for more than the next 20 years. I’m going to do my part to make sure that you want to be with me for more than the next 20 years.
"Marriages, relationships, and partnerships—these things have seasons, and you’re in a different one. In a long marriage, you’re going to go through a lot of different seasons and a lot of different experiences and for me, it’s about figuring out how to adapt to where we are because I plan for us to be together for more than the next 20 years."
Taylor Hill / Contributor/Getty
The Norrises on why they chose to join the cast:
Rodney Norris: We were fans of the show from the very beginning. Never thought we’d be on it, but when the opportunity presented itself, we felt like we had a story to tell as well. Our relationship has been very positive and that’s what Black Love represents. So, from that perspective, we felt like our story could be an addition to it.
Adrienne Banfield-Norris: I agree. We love Black Love and actually tried to manifest being on the show because we were shouting out Black Love on IG and on my podcast Positively Gam, and it came to be. We’re excited to be part of it.
On reconnecting and the thread that keeps them together:
Adrienne: The most important thing is friendship. Besides the love, do you like him? Do you have fun together? Do you enjoy being in each other’s company? To me, that is the most important thing because, I think, a lot of times friendship is what is going to seal the relationship—just really seal the bond.
Rodney: I agree. And at some point, you have to communicate. You can only have sex but for so much during the course of the day, and then after that, there’s 23 hours left. What are you going to do? You have to talk about something. Do you get along? I think the friendship is very important.
On navigating differences in a relationship:
Adrienne: One of the most important things about Rodney is that he does not believe in [raising] his voice. Communication is of the utmost importance. When I get angry, I immediately go to the ra-ra. I’m going to cuss you out, I’m going to do all of that. Yell. Scream. And I had to be willing to do the work on me, because that was not something he was going to tolerate in the relationship.
So you have to be able to communicate and be able to talk things out rationally and hear one another. That was one of the things. He said, ‘If you’re screaming and hollering, I can’t even hear you.’ So you have to be able to communicate in a way that both of you are able to hear one another’s perspective and hope that you will be able to come to a compromise.
The final season of Black Love is currently airing on OWN.
OFFICIAL TRAILER: The 6th & Final Season of Black Love | Black Love | OWN
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There are indeed high-paying jobs in other fields, and not all of them are executive positions that require spending decades in Corporate America in order to qualify. Check out a few options, where the education requirements range up to a master's degree and have average salaries that could potentially hit $100,000 or more:
Nurse Practitioner
The median income for this job is a little more than $111,000, and you'd be performing similar duties as a doctor, such as prescribing medication and performing procedures. The education requirement is a master's degree and nurse practitioners usually specialize in certain populations such as women's health.
Physician Assistant
You can expect to earn $115,390 in this role, and you'll be able to carry out duties such as diagnosing illnesses. You'll also work with a team to cultivate treatment plans. The role requires a master's degree.
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Marketing Manager
From social media to traditional campaigning, professionals in this field stand to make $150,000 or more depending on the role and the market. Corporate communications, product marketing, and market research are booming areas within this industry. A bachelor's or master's degree is often a plus, but if you have savvy and experience, you could easily bypass those.
Fashion Sustainability Manager
With this job, you could earn more than $184,000, and you'd be responsible for researching and developing environmental strategies for a brand or company. You can find success in landing this gig with a high school diploma, technical training, and experience for some companies, while others require an advanced degree.
Makeup Artist
In markets like New York or when working in industries like entertainment or mortuary, a makeup artist can bring in anywhere between $115,000 to $235,000 per year. If you're taking on clients as an independent contractor, you can definitely make a lucrative living doing this. Talent can often trump experience, but it helps when you've gotten technical training, especially if working in specialized industries.
Art Director
Talented art directors' salaries start at more than $120,000 and the great thing about this job is that it lends flexibility due to the fact that many companies hire freelancers for the position. A bachelor's degree and skills in research and design are often required for this role.
Financial Analyst
Within just one year of being in this position, you could hit $100,000 or more in yearly earnings. This profession requires a master's degree and you'll be analyzing investments and other financials for clients or companies.
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Oftentimes, our mentality about money dictates how we use it, and the fact that Black people have endured decades of systemic racism, discriminatory employment and banking practices, and other historical societal horrors that affect how we get to the bag, many of us are actively dealing with the good, bad and ugly impact generations later. On one hand, the challenges have built habits of resilience, tenacity, initiative, and innovation, while on the other hand mentalities and habits centered on scarcity, overworking, overspending, and mismanaging of personal finances. Lessons have been learned from one spectrum to the other, one generation to the next.
There are communities of Black parents who are making changes that will not only empower themselves but their children and grandchildren, building off the foundation of their ancestors and strengthening financial fitness and power through action. They're taking deliberate steps to ensure their children's mindsets are balanced and prepared for financial prosperity.
Check out more on three such power women—mothers who have learned vital lessons about money management and financial freedom in their parenthood journeys—from becoming new moms to transitioning into empty nesters. They speak further about how they're changing narratives and raising children unafraid to think big and limitless about wealth:
Shifting Money Management Strategy Along the Way
Vioree Brandon-Nettlesford, the founder of Divine Enterprise L.L.C., was a divorced single mom and college student with her first son, navigating not only taking care of him but taking action to secure their future. Back then, she says, she wanted to focus on building up her savings because she wanted to "establish a firm foundation" for her son. "I didn’t want to live what I was taught which was, 'Buy, buy, buy, and don’t worry about tomorrow.'"
"I didn’t want to live what I was taught which was, 'Buy, buy, buy, and don’t worry about tomorrow.'"
Courtesy of Vioree Brandon-Nettlesford
Years later, she met her second husband and had more children, ushering in a dramatic change in her finances and how she'd handle money. "My story is a bit unique because I got married for the second time and then, my husband passed away. I found myself becoming a single mom again, and I actually became homeless," she recalls. "During our marriage, I had that old-school mindset that the husband works and [the wife] stays home. You don’t have to work. Re-establishing myself changed my perspective and my relationship with money because I realized I can’t teach my kids certain things I learned because it didn’t reap good fruit."
She also began working on establishing herself as an author and transitional life coach, creating streams of income for herself that would mean independence, empowerment, financial freedom, and a legacy for her family in the future.
She shifted back to a focus on saving and squirreling away funds to ensure she can meet the financial demand of taking care of her now-larger family and covering emergencies. She began planning more for the long-term versus the right now. "We’re looking at three different stages: My son is 20 years old now, and he's in his third year of college. He goes to a private institution. I did not save well with him like, for instance, with a 529 plan," she says. "I find myself now paying tuition of about $18,000 a year."
With her younger daughter, who will soon be a college student, Brandon-Nettersford changed up and created more of a strategic plan for financing her education. "I have a fund and now tap into scholarships for her because she’s a straight-A student and she goes to a military school. There are resources out there for you in whatever stage of [parenting] you’re in. It’s up to you to educate yourself and seek them out, and that’s what I began to do."
She also decided to be more collaborative with her children in setting a plan for their future. "I established a relationship and open communication with my children to help them understand what they want their future to look like. As parents, we have a plan for our children, but they also have a plan for themselves. It’s up to us to take accountability and responsibility and not to deflect our plans on them."
Honing In on Generational Wealth
Layo George, the founder of Wolomi, an online community and an app for expecting mothers, began planning for the birth of her son three years before he was born. "I knew I wanted to be able to breastfeed and stay home, and in order to do that, you have to be financially stable. I thought, 'What kind of pregnancy, post-partum, and first year did I want to have?' I began making choices with my husband in terms of finances. We wanted to make sure we were in a good space to carry out that idea. We didn’t want stress to impact our pregnancy or that first year of parenting."
Today her son is four, and while, she says, she does teach him about the concept of money, her focus is to give him a sense of what sustainable wealth-building is. "After he was born and we got past that first year, it was, ‘Well, what kind of life do I want for [my husband and I]? If you don’t think about yourself, in terms of taking care of things in your own financial journey, it’s hard to financially be there for a child."
"If you don’t think about yourself, in terms of taking care of things in your own financial journey, it’s hard to financially be there for a child."
Layo George, Founder, Wolomi
Courtesy of Wolomi
She and her husband began a process to tackle debt and tie up loose ends when it came to their own financial profile. Then, for her son's first birthday, they'd asked friends to put money into a 529 plan instead of giving the usual gifts. “I started learning a bit more about 529, and found that that wasn’t what I really wanted, so we opened an index fund account for my son. It’s not a lot of money because, as I said, [we were] focusing on [ourselves] as well," she adds.
George is also pursuing her own financial and career goals in helping other women through their pregnancy and post-partum journeys with the online community and tech resource she built. That, in turn, not only enriches her and her family's lives financially but provides an example of entrepreneurship that her son can learn from. "It's also [about] pouring into Wolomi in the hope that not only will we have this brand that will support women but it also is going to be something that can give us generational wealth so that my son can have the freedom we didn’t have."
"It's also [about] pouring into Wolomi in the hope that not only will we have this brand that will support women but it also is going to be something that can give us generational wealth so that my son can have the freedom we didn’t have."
Her parents are immigrants, and culturally, she says, there's a traditional sense of respectful obligation to take care of them financially in their golden years of retirement. While she understands the expectation and she and her husband are well prepared and happy to take on the responsibility, she says, "I don’t want that for my kid. I want him to not have to think about me, but about the bigger picture. It isn't just about one generation. There’s a limit to what I can do for him. It’s about putting him in a state where he’s able to multiply what I have. Then we can really start to build for our people.“
Making Financial Literacy Relatable and Empowering
Karen Stevens, the founder of Frugal Feminista, is also a huge proponent of redefining our relationships with money, and with a background in education, she relies on communication and teaching by example to instill certain values in her daughter. She takes her 6-year-old to the bank with her and allows her to see how the banking world works, even down to signing her own checks given to her by her grandmother. She also started a brokerage account for her daughter as soon as she received her social security card and contributes to a 529 account for her education.
She believes that today's parents can inspire their children to elevate their understanding of how money works and become more mindful of the conversations that are had about everyday financial scenarios. "For Black women, in particular, I think because we’re in a race-based society, some of us are quick to adultify our kids and bring them into conversations that they have no mental, emotional, financial ability to reconcile, and I think that [is detrimental] to their relationship with money," Stevens adds.
"For Black women, in particular, I think because we’re in a race-based society, some of us are quick to adultify our kids and bring them into conversations that they have no mental, emotional, financial ability to reconcile, and I think that [is detrimental] to their relationship with money."
Courtesy of Kara Stevens
Reframing dialogue and interactions in a way that allows children to understand from their own perspective, considering their age and development, is key, she says. "I don’t think it’s appropriate for a mom to say, 'We ain’t got no money,' or 'Your daddy’s gone. You're the man of the house.' Let's say maybe you lost your job. Instead of saying, 'We don’t have any money,' you can say, 'We’re going to really take care of the things we have because we have more than enough. What role can you play in taking the lead in putting your things away?' It lands differently."
She also believes that, as parents, it's important to guide children toward balanced and education-based conclusions about money and to highlight positive aspects of Black buying power, Black excellence in business, and Black wealth.
"As Black people, because we have been marginalized, we want to make sure that we don’t color our children’s lenses in the same race-based, wealth-based narrative. All Black people aren’t poor. All white people aren’t rich. It's about making sure that we give them–whether it be through books, online resources, or family members—the sense that Black people got it. We been had it. And if we don’t have it, we can get it. We need to give them a positive narrative about all things Black and a more nuanced understanding when it comes to money. Then, you’re able to raise a child that will be critically thoughtful about money, take more risks with money, and understand what their values are around money."
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With many becoming a part of that post-pandemic shift from the hustle mentality to the soft life movement, quiet quitting can be part of that journey.
What exactly is quiet quitting?
No, quiet quitting is not just never showing up at your job ever again, with no notice. And it has nothing to do with ghosting your company or shooting your manager a quick but politely written resignation email. It involves reducing your enthusiasm for doing your work and offering the bare minimum in terms of effort in completing tasks. It's not exactly slacking because you're fulfilling the duties your job requires, but there's no going above and beyond to be exemplary, innovative, or helpful other than doing the job you're paid to do and going home.
You've mentally checked out and just don't want to put in any extra effort toward thriving in your position or at your company.
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Why do people quietly quit?
The Great Resignation has led professionals to leave their jobs in record numbers during the aftermath of the pandemic, seeking more work-life balance, following their career dreams, and making more time for family and leisure, and those who might want to join that wave but can't for various reasons, are turning to quiet quitting. Researchers have found that the desire to quit or basically check out from even wanting to work for a company includes a "toxic" work culture as well as "failure to promote diversity," and "abusive managers."
Oftentimes, because of financial reasons, a quiet quitter won't actually leave their job. They simply can't just get up and walk out because they haven't yet found a better opportunity. They might also be pursuing a certain goal such as purchasing a home, financing a child's education, or supporting elders. They're building up their savings, using a job as a stepping stone, or simply aren't in a position to hit send on that resignation email.
Professionals have also expressed feelings of burnout, dissatisfaction or simply wanting to do other things, and they want to mentally focus on efforts to transition into a new job or lifestyle, so quiet quitting is also something they turn to in order to fill the gap while they're doing so.
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There's another side to quiet quitting as well: protest. Some professionals quietly quit because they don't feel valued and they want someone to know just how much value they actually do bring to the table. They withhold their best and no longer put in the additional work. It's like being in a lackluster relationship and refusing to do certain things you did at the beginning when your spouse seemed to cherish you. Instead of breaking up, you hold back, whether it's no longer sending those mid-day "I love you" texts, making homecooked meals, bringing them coffee in bed in the morning, or leaving little gifts around the house for no reason at all. In the case of a job, maybe you don't help that team member with the research for the next presentation, you're not coming in early, or you're literally clocking out at 4:59 p.m.
It may be a sign you need to actually...well, quit.
If you're finding yourself resenting your boss or job, coasting by with hardly any motivation, interacting with team members, clients, or customers with little to no enthusiasm, or finding ways out of even going to work, you might not want to quietly quit. It may be time to find another job or reevaluate what you want out of a career. The longer you stay at a job or in a position that's not advancing your intellect, skills, and life experience, the more disservice you're doing to your own mental well-being and career future.
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"We had a conference [recently] and one of our speakers said ‘You are your own economy.’ And I’m of the mindset, after working with coaches and being around people who are moving heavy in their industries, that we are our own economy," said Makeda Smith, CEO of Savvy Chicks In Real Estate, a Plainfield, IL-based marketing agency that offers community, events, coaching, and resources for women in the industry. "The economy may say that we’re looking at increased prices, but what are you going to do to meet the challenge?"
Women are finding financial freedom and empowerment through pursuing careers and businesses in real estate, representing 65% of realtors. (And it's notable that single women, in particular, are leading in homeownership, at 19%, compared with 9% of single men.)
Smith has built a lucrative career in real estate, becoming a multi-million-dollar producer and top-seller in her market. "It's from my hard work that I already put in the industry, being a top producer, that I’ve made an impact in the industry. Now, I’m able to take that same drive and shift it to help women in the business.
She is now working to ensure that Black women in the industry are able to leverage all opportunities to not only build wealth for themselves but also for those in their communities as well.
We talked more with Smith about how she got started, what has kept her passionate about the industry after almost two decades in the business, and how women can tap into a lucrative career despite the current economic climate:
Carl Ankrum of The Media MD
xoNecole: How did you get started working in real estate?
Makeda Smith: I got licensed in 2004, and it was after my husband had pestered me to go and get my license. He thought it would be a good opportunity for me to start a new career. I was coming out of [a career in] customer service. It was a completely different industry, and I wasn’t thinking about real estate until he pushed me. Eighteen years later, I’m still a licensed agent.
We launched our own brokerage in 2011. Then, in 2017, I launched my marketing agency to help women in real estate build their brands. It just came full circle.
xoN: What keeps you going after so many years in the industry, especially with the housing market's ups and downs?
MS: In the early years, [I had] the ability to help a family or an investor to purchase and sell real estate and have that be part of their wealth portfolio. Now, I’m passionate about helping the agents who have just started out in business or those who have been in business but [are] stuck and can’t get over a certain revenue hump. We have the inflation rate and gas prices are high, but people will always need a place to live and there's always opportunities.
Let's say last year, I was working with people who had a price point to where they couldn't get over showing people homes that may have been at $150,000. Those homes are $200,000 and $250,000, so a lot of the agents’ incomes are going up because the property values are moving up. It’s not like 2008 [during the Great Recession].
Carl Ankrum of The Media MD
xoN: It's good you mentioned that because some women might be a bit apprehensive about getting into real estate due to what's going on in the economy right now.
MS: If you’re a new agent coming into the business, it’s no different than when I got into it in 2004. You have to find your lane and you have to go hard in that lane. You have to have a strategy and a plan. Then you have to have a made-up mind that 'I'm going to go for this.’ Figure out how you are going to carve your own space within the saturated market. It was saturated in 2004, it was saturated in 2008, and it’s saturated now.
"If you’re a new agent coming into the business, it’s no different than when I got into it in 2004. You have to find your lane and you have to go hard in that lane. Figure out how you are going to carve your own space within the saturated market. It was saturated in 2004, it was saturated in 2008, and it’s saturated now."
A lot of people are saying that these are times that we will find people leaving the industry, but then you will find out what agents are really made of — those who stay in the industry, who find a way around the noise and distractions.
xoN: How do you carve a niche, though? What actions did you take?
MS: I did not sell traditional real estate. I said, 'Okay, how can I get more listings faster so that I am not doing as much legwork to find new clients?' I began to study and figure out how I could work with a bank like Chase, Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac who already had a bulk of listings and say hey I’d like to be your go-to agent. If you have any foreclosures in your area, I’d love to be your broker on that.' And that’s how I became a top producer. In 2007, when I made top-earner status, I had to bring my husband on in because I couldn't handle all of it myself.
Then we both made at least $100,000 each. We had never ever seen anything like that in our lifetime.
Carl Ankrum of The Media MD
xoN: Some of us struggle with networking and forging relationships. How were you able to do so with the housing and banking institutions?
MS: It's not as easy as people say. I went to a conference in Dallas and it was geared toward businesses that had assets. I said, 'If I could just get in front of them, give them my pitch, and bring them what I have to the table, let’s see if they’ll give me a chance.' I just started showing up at all of these different conferences. I’d hit up reps over and over again. The one thing I would say that worked is that time when I followed up with Freddie Mac over and over. They kept telling me no.
Then the rep finally came through with that yes. She gave me 50 listings that [they] can give you at one time and I was blown away. I finally heard that yes. I showed up where the people were. If it was me paying for a plane ticket plus a conference ticket and making sure I had money for food even when I was low on cash, I made that investment to show up where I needed to be for my ideal client. That’s how I became a top producer and my husband became a top producer.
"I showed up where the people were. If it was me paying for a plane ticket plus a conference ticket and making sure I had money for food even when I was low on cash, I made that investment to show up where I needed to be for my ideal client. That’s how I became a top producer and my husband became a top producer."
I always say, 'Stop being timid about your business.' Walmart is not timid about selling you their products or putting a commercial in your face. Target is not timid about helping you get into their stores to spend more of your money, so why are we timid when it comes to our own businesses? I don’t care if you are in your first $10,000 or half a million, we cannot afford to be timid about the businesses in which God has given us.
My mission is to help women in real estate have multiple streams of income that not only depends upon real estate transactions but you have digital products, courses Ebooks, and own paid events. Those are things that don’t teach you in real estate school and it's something I wish someone had done that for me. That keeps me going.
For more of Makeda, follow her on Instagram @makedasmithceo.
Featured image by Carl Ankrum of The Media MD
While the risk for recession is "high" according to forecasters, there are indeed things you can do today to ensure peace of mind and that you're able to thrive whether there's a recession or not.
First recognize, it's not all gloom and doom.
Some forecasters are stating that, while experts are justifiably bracing for the possibility, a recession is "less likely" than people think and that rising interest rates don't necessarily solely mean a recession is coming. Recessions also aren't uncommon and are a consistent phenomenon, thus you can't really fret too much over something that not only has occurred before but something that will likely occur again in the coming years.
On another note, the job market is booming, especially with the recent mass exodus of professionals (a la the Great Resignation), so if you're looking for a new opportunity, that prime moment to ask for a promotion, or a change in career, now is an amazing time to go for it.
Also, other positive aspects of the economy include gas prices in select markets decreasing and a 48% growth in entrepreneurship among women.
So, it's good to think in a balanced, more realistic way, taking several factors into account.
Check your finances and adjust your budget.
If you haven't already, it's a good time to get more familiar with your finances, especially your budget. Take stock of the money you're earning, the money you're saving, the money you're investing, and how you're spending. Experts also recommend reviewing your bills and lifestyle to see where there might be money drains or waste. Make the needed choices or shifts to either increase your savings, cut back on expenses that aren't super-necessary, or shift funds to save more.
(If you don't have a budget or need inspiration for updating the one you have, there are a few great options here and here.)
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Tap into the assistance and resources afforded to you.
If you're already struggling financially, there are resources available to you such as rental assistance, scholarships, grants, and programs. Also, if you qualify for income-related assistance, don't hesitate to apply, especially in relation to housing or coverage of everyday education, food, or childcare expenses.
If you've reached certain financial milestones (or you're hoping to), get a financial adviser or coach and map out a plan to either meet those goals or get on a path to be able to meet those goals even if a recession hits. Find out how you can leverage the money you have to make more or invest in something that will garner wealth in the long run.
It's always good to be proactive in seeking help, especially if it's something that will help take a financial burden off your mind.
Review your sources of income—or lack thereof.
If you're unemployed, you'll need to really get serious about maximizing your unemployment benefits and getting a job. Think outside the box, let go of a few boundaries, and try out new experiences or positions that might be outside of your comfort zone. Be very deliberate with how you spend your money and time, and focus on strategies that will lead to a new job or employment you enjoy.
If you're underemployed (i.e. at a job that either doesn't match your educational or practical skills or talents, or one that pays a salary that is below the current market rate), it might be a good time to either apply for a new job or take on another that not only will supplement your income but will allow you to be your best self.
If you're happily employed and bring home a nice salary (good for you, sis), but always wanted to start that side gig, now might be the best time to do that as well. Maximizing other ways to earn and accumulate money is a great way to ensure that you have a cushion for times like a recession.
No matter what stage you are in the employment game, be sure to pay close attention to the return on investment of your time and how your salary aligns with the lifestyle you have or aspire to have, recession or not.
Keep a positive attitude and focus on solutions and vision.
Remember, while you can't really control what happens in an economy nor can you control what might happen in the future, you can plan today for financial freedom. Taking the steps to be strategic, keeping a positive and balanced outlook, and prioritizing what's important in life is the key to getting through any rough patches.
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