It's hard not to gravitate to Sarah Jakes Roberts. Minutes into our phone call, I am reminded why I, and thousands of others, have found solace in her ministry. She is a force of a spiritual leader, whose magnetism is inextricably tied to her superpower: transparency.
If you've ever seen the first lady and co-pastor of The Potter's House at One LA and Denver in her element, it's difficult to imagine that she once avoided the spotlight that comes with her family name. "I feel like the manifestation of our purpose has different stages: shock, reality of impact, and then there's intentionality," the Don't Settle for Safe author tells me. "I think up until 2015, I just lived in this phase of shock where I felt like, Wow, people understand what I'm saying. I felt this whole time that I was living in this box and on this island, and no one understood but me."
"I feel like the manifestation of our purpose has different stages: shock, reality of impact, and then there's intentionality."
As one of five children to Bishop T.D. Jakes, the West Virginia native spent more time in church than most. In the Mountain State, her father's small congregation felt like kin, but that sentiment would change dramatically once he shifted his ministry to Dallas in 1996.
Only eight at the time, Sarah sensed the gravity of the move but couldn't anticipate the scrutiny that lied ahead. As The Potter's House swelled in size (today, it is home to over 30,000 members), so did the pressure to appear infallible.
As a child, she quickly became acquainted with false rumors surrounding her father's ascension. She also heard the secrets members exchanged about each other and witnessed how men and women bold enough to own their humanity were isolated from those who opted to pretend they had their lives under control.
Sarah attempted to blend in with the latter in an effort to keep her name out of the gossip circuit, but she struggled to find a ministry she believed she could add value to. She soon became content with fading in the background, where she would ultimately discover her tribe – a group of kids who couldn't pinpoint where they belonged in church and itched to experience life beyond the politics of it all. With a desire to feel normal, Sarah didn't merely test the limits between The Potter's House and the world outdoors. She tore through them.
Less than a year after Time magazine deemed T.D. Jakes "America's Best Preacher," Sarah discovered that she was pregnant at 13.
Although her family stood by her side as the judgment poured in, the shame that loomed wouldn't be easy to shake. Sarah worked tirelessly to finish high school early while raising her son, but her attempt to redeem her image unraveled in college as she sunk into an unhealthy relationship (and, later, marriage) marked by infidelity and deceit.
"I think that toxic relationship was my drug of choice," she reflects. "Other people may dive into work, they may dive into alcohol, they may smoke something. For me, that relationship was a distraction from me having to deal with my own pain and issues, and I don't think that I could get to a place where I was ready to receive love again until I figured out why I needed to be distracted from myself."
"I don't think that I could get to a place where I was ready to receive love again until I figured out why I needed to be distracted from myself."
On the brink of divorce, Sarah launched a personal blog as an outlet to address her hurt through prayers and stories that mirrored her own. In this space, she didn't have to conceal her brokenness. Here, she had the liberty to own her scars.
Little did she know, she would draw an audience of women longing to do the same. "I didn't really think that it was ministry but the more that it became increasingly clear that it was, I just made a vow that I was going to be as authentic and transparent as I could be," she says.
Her memoir Lost and Found: Finding Hope in the Detours of Life, a vivid look into her biggest trials and the grace she collided with through them all, followed in 2014. "I felt so many of my experiences were interconnected that I could not paint just half the picture for the person reading it," Sarah insists. "I wanted them to see the full scope of how I ended up in some really challenging but, ultimately, defining moments of my life."
In the years to come, she would rediscover love, expand her family with husband Touré Roberts, and settle into a purpose far greater than she imagined.
"I'd say 2017 is when I really decided to embrace fully that I have a call and that my call is unique to where I am, and it's not limited to where I'm invited but rather it is maximized when I use it to build things that reflect the people who are attached to it," Sarah explains.
This July, she did just that with her first-ever Woman Evolve conference in Denver. Over two days, women in attendance heard from the likes of Angela Rye, Michelle Williams, and Tiffany "The Budgetnista" Aliche during a life-altering experience that promoted both spiritual and practical development.
The idea for the event came to life when the first lady made a notable observation at a women's conference she spoke at earlier in the year. "It stood out in my mind that the women had on these 'Squad Goals' shirts that had Mary, Esther, and Ruth on it, and I was like nobody ever wants Eve to be in their squad goals because Eve messed up so bad by eating from this forbidden fruit," she exclaims.
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As a result, Sarah committed to studying the Book of Genesis where she discovered that Eve's story didn't end in disgrace as common legend would have it after all. "There's this moment when God tells her that her seed is going to crush the head of the serpent," she points out. "If Eve could evolve past her mistakes, she could give birth to something that would ultimately bring restoration. For me, that is the foundation of Woman Evolve – the idea that at some point, we can all identify with being Eve. We can all identify with moments where we knew better but didn't do better, but if we're willing to evolve, then the sky is the limit and restoration is possible for us."
Beyond the pulpit, Sarah is motivating others to not merely survive but thrive in their most trying seasons through her Wild Women fashion collection released this summer. "I think everyone just wants to live in the Promise Land without recognizing that who you become in the wilderness earns you the right to live [there]," the pastor affirms.
"How we maintain our character, our integrity, our faith, and our hope in those critical moments where we feel defeated, where we are disappointed, is ultimately what gives us the power to try again, lift our heads, and keep it moving."
Whether through her Woman Evolve store or upcoming Night In The Wild tour, which starts in Maryland this November, Sarah is igniting a movement that challenges what it means to be a modern woman of faith. "I really feel like I know people online, so I am most excited about connecting with people who have resonated with my messages and with my life," she expresses. "I'm looking forward to that connection and sisterhood."
With nothing less than a transformative adventure in mind, she assures us that walls will come down to get to the heart of all we can become. "I think we, as women, can do very well in surface-level conversation, but it really takes intentionality and transparency for us to be vulnerable, and I think that when someone sets the tone, it allows us all permission to say, 'Well, I'm struggling too,'" she explains. "I'm looking forward to creating an environment by setting the tone with my own vulnerability that helps us to see that the woman I may envy is actually going through something that I can help her with and together, I believe that we can create momentum that allows all of us to win."
In many ways, Sarah Jakes Roberts has become who she once searched for within the walls of the church but couldn't find – a woman who walks in the assurance that her missteps do not disqualify her from God's love or divine use.
"It's really humbling," she says while taking in the full scope of her growth. "When I finished the Woman Evolve conference, I had so many women tell me, 'Congratulations,' but I told them that I'm just glad to be a part of it because this is exactly what I would have needed to keep me from going through the things that I went through. I know that it is helping women who are like me, so I have peace that I had to be the one who struggled and cried so other people could be free."
For more of Sarah Jakes Roberts, follow her on Instagram. And find out more about her Women Evolve movement by clicking here.
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Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
GiphyBefore we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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Featured image by Giphy
