I Tried Horse Therapy And It Changed My Life
If a trigger was a person, it would be my family. I know y’all can relate. From a cultural perspective, Caribbean families just don’t respect or understand boundaries. A lot of my anxiety is rooted in trauma and it was in March 2021 when my anxiety decided to act up. I had just been released from my previous therapist in October 2020 too. I knew I needed to find a new therapist to work through whatever remnant of trauma was still inside of me. I thought I was done with therapy after a past life regression and hypnotherapy session but managing mental health is a bitch.
So, I decided to search for mental health providers that accepted my health insurance. It was hard because finding a new therapist is like a blind date. You don’t know how you will connect until the first session.
I was able to narrow down my choice to Dr. Amber Fasula. I emailed her with my history and medical records via email. A few days later she responded with a recommendation to try equine-assisted therapy (EAT), or horse therapy. Horse therapy is a psychotherapy that involves interaction with horses through a range of activities. I had previously written and read about how horse therapy helps children with behavioral problems or autism. But what I didn’t know was horse therapy can help adults who are clinically diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD or have experienced trauma.
I was the perfect candidate because I was struggling with all of it. I didn’t know what I was getting into but horses are my favorite animal. So, I was willing to give it a try. And the best part was that my health insurance covered each session. I was only responsible for a small copay and a fee for caring for the horses every other week.
I was ready.
How Horse Therapy Works
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My treatment program encompassed a total of 10 sessions and my first appointment was set for April. On my first day, I drove 20 minutes from my house to Crossroads Corral. I didn’t know what to expect, all I knew was that I’d essentially be outdoors. I wore an oversized t-shirt, a pair of gray joggers, and some old sneakers. After I parked and got out of my car, I was greeted by Dr. Fasula and Chessie. He was the horse trainer and was there to ensure my safety. Chessie would also be the one to interpret the interactions between the horse and me.
Dr. Fasula and Chessie led me into an open pasture. I immediately fell in love with every single horse on the property. But when they explained what I had to do next, I was completely lost (for privacy purposes, I cannot disclose specific details of the activities, but just know working with a horse was like learning a foreign language). My initial response was, “Huh? You want me to do what?” Now, I’m not scared of horses, I just never interacted with a horse so up close and personal.
And the thing is horse therapy involves a level of problem-solving where you have to figure out the solution on your own. With little to no help. It was the most challenging thing I ever did besides walking away from a six-figure salary.
I left my first session completely confused because I didn’t know how to interact with the horse. I was beating myself up for something I had no knowledge or experience in. But I loved being around the horses. For me, it was therapeutic and peaceful. What people don’t know is horses can pick up on your energy. This is how you build trust with your horse. Horses gain your trust through simple interactions. Just by petting the horse, you can see if the horse trusts you or not.
I was intrigued. I was determined. And I wanted to know more.
Revealing Patterns
The first session was an introduction, but the second session was the real test. By this session, Dr. Fasula could easily see I had weak boundaries just by my interaction with the horse. I couldn’t even deny it, because it was true. So many times in my life, I’ve found that people don’t respect my boundaries or push me until I snap. This is the session that almost broke me. I had to quickly learn that logic doesn’t apply here. And I learned it the hard way because I froze for the entire 45 minutes when they asked me to complete the next task.
I didn’t even try because nothing about what I was asked to do with my horse made sense in my head. I swallowed my tears as I walked back to my car. I left this session feeling completely defeated. I wanted to give up. I didn’t even want to come back. But I knew that wasn’t an option.
I had met my truest self, and she had some things to figure out.
Showing Up To Do The Work
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Before my next session, I spoke with one of my closest cousins. We will call him “R.” I expressed to him how I failed my second horse therapy session. “R” said, “You have to show up to therapy the same way you did when you decided to create a new life path.” He was right. It was now May and my third horse therapy session. Dr. Fasula asked me if I was ready to try again. I said, “Well, we’re here now and there is no turning back.” I showed up ready to do the work and it was noticeable. We repeated the same task from session two. This time I succeeded. This was the turning point. We will call it the breakthrough because now I understood I had to show up as a different Camille to ascertain the desired result.
In the following sessions, more patterns were revealed. For example, my tendency to blame myself for certain outcomes even when it’s not my fault. This behavior demonstrates how I can miss out on opportunities because of the way I internalize certain situations. I also learned about obstacles, life stages, transitions, boundaries, and communication. With each task given to me – I succeeded. I had learned what the horse needed from me for us to work together. It was beautiful.
There were times I struggled, but I attempted to try without judgment. And when I didn’t have it quite right or the right knowledge to complete the task with my horse, Chessie would step in to direct me.
Horse therapy became my safe space.
Graduation Day
It was now August and I dreaded showing up for my final session. It was graduation day. Which meant I would no longer see my horse and my heart broke. I had learned so much about myself. What I was capable of and patterns I needed to break. Overall, equine-assisted therapy was a confidence booster. Dr. Fasula knew I didn’t want to leave. She said, “There is nothing more for you to work through.” But I just wanted to be able to see my horse. You see, horses are my spirit animal and represent freedom. And I’m a free spirit.
Since completing equine-assisted therapy my life hasn’t been the same. I manage my anxiety and PTSD better. This experience has been more effective than talk therapy, journaling, hypnotherapy, and EMDR. I still have monthly check-ins with another therapist where we engage in talk therapy, but even she said, “You don’t need me anymore.”
If you struggle with overcoming trauma or struggle with anxiety, depression, or PTSD, I would recommend looking into equine-assisted therapy.
Your patterns will reveal all that you need to know about yourself.
Featured image by Getty Images
Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line CÉCRED & Here's My Honest Review
Beyoncé is snatching our wallets yet again with her latest business venture CÉCRED. In 2023, the Texas native hinted at a potential haircare line when she posted this photo causing fans to speculate that her next project would be focused on her famous tresses - they were right. Her haircare line Cécred launched on February 20 with her first drop called The Foundation Collection which focuses on haircare first, and I can only assume that a style product line for colored-treated hair will likely follow since Beyoncé is known for slaying various shades of blonde.
As a super fan since the early 2000s, it was only right that I give an honest review of the full line and purchase the Super Fan Bundle (retailed at $265) which includes the full product line of the 8 products, as well as a branded cosmetic bag. If you’re thinking, “Girl that bundle is too pricey for me,” I can assure you that for the value you're getting, the price is quite reasonable. This bundle was an intentional and marketable way to allow consumers to experience every Cécred product.
The brand messaging surrounding Cécred has been salon-inspired, and rightfully so as an ode to Beyoncé’s upbringing growing up in her mother’s hair salon in Houston. This line is backed by science and licensed cosmetologists showing that she’s done her research and appointed the experts. Cécred's IG feed has been filled with images and videos inside of hair salons including some videos of Ms. Tina herself assisting in the styling of beauty experts who visited Cécred's private salon to have the VIP treatment!
Now, have I seen influencers, consumers, and beauty stylists using the Foundation Collection at home? Yes, but I thought it was best to experience Cécred with my go-to cosmetologist who also happens to be my Auntie Tawana. She has been my educator and go-to for hair knowledge since I was a child and has had a hand in my mom's hair health which has always been goals for me. As a little girl, my Saturdays were spent sitting in her hair salon while my mama got her hair done as I patiently waited reading Jet and ESSENCE, ever so carefully eavesdropping on the conversations of the ladies who were coming for much more than just a beauty routine, but an experience.
I’d fall asleep on the plush couch in the waiting area flipping through magazines while listening to the sultry sounds of Maxwell. And I had my first lesson in breakup empowerment when I heard Sunshine Anderson’s “Heard It All Before.” So there was no other place for me to go than to see her, and because I’m her niece, I was able to visit her private salon in her home that she calls The After Hours where upon arrival I was greeted with my favorite Black-owned sparkling Rosé, candles lit, and my aunt’s breakdown of Cécred.
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But let me refocus and share my salon experience as I tried Cécred for the first time.
If You’re Wondering…Who is Cécred For?
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When news of Beyoncé potentially launching a beauty brand hit the internet, there were a bunch of predictions of what and who the line would be marketed towards and if she’d have any wig care products as she’s known for slaying her units! But she went in a totally different direction which I love, and I’m going to tell you why. Critics have questioned if Beyoncé should be venturing into the haircare industry because she is often seen in weaves and wigs, but true Beyoncé fans know that she has healthy hair and that, like many Black women, experiments with various styles.
Cécred was created for all hair types and textures, including straight to coily, virgin, color-treated, chemically processed, and heat-styled. As a Black woman who has worn wigs, had chemically processed hair, heat-styled, natural, and color-treated hair, let me tell you, this was no easy feat! The amount of money I’ve spent on my hair through its various changes just on product alone, forget styling has been astronomical.
Cécred is serving the needs of various hair types in textures and I truly believe that this is going to make Beyoncé a true competitor in the hair industry amongst brands that are comparable such as OUAI and Olaplex. Both competitor brands have similar items at a higher price point and unlike Cécred, their products and brand messaging haven’t always felt inclusive to Black women and other hair types.
Cécred has been tested inclusively and the reviews from various hair types and backgrounds of consumers are allowing the brand to stand out.
I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line Cécred: My Honest Review
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
My hair has never felt cleaner and it shined for well over a week following the styling (but the oil should be used sparingly if like me, oil can weigh down your hair.) Immediately when my hair touched the sink, my aunt told me that she saw all the dirt and oils lifting from my hair when she applied the clarifying shampoo. As a girl who loves my curls, I am often judgy when I use any other shampoo and conditioner aside from Pattern, but not this time.
When my aunt guided my hands across my hair, she showed me how my curls weren’t tangled, and how she didn’t need to comb out my curls before applying the moisturizing deep conditioner or the deconstructing treatment mask.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
She applied each step with care and walked me through the process, and to my surprise, the hair mask wasn’t thick - but through trial and error as a natural girl, I’ve learned that a thick mask doesn’t always equal what’s best for your hair. She styled me with a silk press that left my hair with shine and I can honestly say that each step of the line is needed especially if you are someone who changes up your hair and deals with breakage. If your hair is healthy, you can opt out of the reconstructing treatment mask but I recommend taking the product line to your salon, having a discussion with your stylist on where your hair health needs improvement, and then purchasing based on that.
We know ourselves better than anyone else, but your stylist knows your hair better than you do. I like to lead with their knowledge first and then incorporate what my hair goals are. If you’re a girly who’s committed to hair health and has either the discipline to incorporate each step at home or can bring your products to the salon, Cécred is for you no matter if you’re a silk press or a wash-and-go naturalist.
Give Cécred a try, I’ll be using the line for my hair appointments until it runs out and if I see long-term results, it will be added to the beauty regimen indefinitely.
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Featured image courtesy of CÉCRED