You Could Be Turning Into A Narcissist...And You Don't Even Know It
This is one of those things that I can go on 1000 percent assumption about and totally know that I’m right — “it” being that if you plan on hopping on any social media platform before today ends, you’re going to hear or see at least one person use the word “narcissist”…and it’s probably going to be in the context of them no longer seeing someone or being someone’s friend because that individual happens to be one.
*le sigh*
Now while, in certain instances, that very well could be true because the uptick of narcissists/narcissism has been steadily increasing over the past few years, I also get that a lot of folks are only saying that because they heard some other people do it…and it has caught on. Why do I feel that way? Because contrary to the popular belief of many (or the ridiculousness of pop psychology that many subscribe to, which we will touch on in a bit), not everyone on the planet is a narcissist. Not only that, but only a small amount have the disorder that’s associated with narcissism (reportedly, it’s up to five percent) — and no, narcissism and the disorder are not the same thing (SMDH).
So, in an effort to make sure that the term is being used properly and accurately, I thought that we should delve into it a bit. And, more importantly, because the traits of narcissism are ironically ones that social media seems to only encourage and celebrate these days, I also thought it would be a good idea to make sure that, before any of us are out here throwing “narcissist” or “narcissism” around like it’s confetti, we’re sure that while we’re pointing the finger, the remaining ones aren’t looking at us like we’re crazy…because we’re the ones who actually seem to be the blue ribbon winner in the narcissism department (whew, chile).
First Up: Having the Traits (or Even Being a Narcissist) IS NOT the Same As Having a Narcissism Disorder
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There are so many reasons why how the West (side of the world) does things, earns an almost daily side-eye from me. One of the many examples is how it moves the goalpost when it comes to various disorders. That’s another topic for another time, though. When it comes to narcissism, specifically, until something changes (and knowing this society and culture, it very well might), it’s important to keep in mind that 1) there is having certain narcissistic traits; 2) there is being an actual narcissist, and 3) there is being officially diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) — and no, they are not all one and the same.
Quite frankly, anyone who is even a little bit self-aware will admit that they have at least 1-2 narcissistic traits that show up from time to time. On the other hand, being a narcissist pretty much means that you are so self-centered that you basically think the entire world does (or should) revolve around you…and you think this way on a pretty consistent basis. Then there is narcissistic personality disorder which is a spectrum.
Basically, what sets someone with NPD apart from being a narcissist is the fact that a person with the disorder has most of the tendencies that are associated with narcissism (and there are many; we’ll touch on some in a sec) on a consistent basis; not only that but they manifest in the most extreme fashion and in almost every area of a person’s life. In other words, someone with NPD will not just be that way at work or online because the reality is that they don’t know how not to be extremely narcissistic. They also don’t usually recognize that it’s problematic, which is why a mental health professional should diagnose it. As far as NPD goes, someone who immediately comes to mind is former president Donald J. Trump (I’m not the only one who believes that either; go here and here).
It should also go on record that while experts are constantly trying to get to the root of what causes narcissism, there are many pretty solid theories that say “grandiose narcissism” is the result of being raised to think that you were better than everyone else as a child while “vulnerable narcissism” stems from growing up in an abusive environment (neglect qualifies) where you had to create your own cryptic ways to protect yourself that could’ve resulted in you growing up to be selfish and/or apathetic (for starters).
Another thing to keep in mind is if you do happen to be diagnosed with NPD, while psychotherapy (and sometimes medication if NPD is accompanied by other mental health issues) can certainly help, there isn’t exactly a “cure” for it. Because narcissists typically struggle, immensely so, with accountability, therapy can help them to keep their attitude and actions in check since narcissism is something that they will probably struggle with for the rest of their lives (so yes, this means that they will need to be in some form of ongoing therapy for the rest of their lives too).
As you can see, narcissism has layers to it. Now let’s get into some signs of narcissism that can boomerang on the people who overuse the word if they’re not careful.
Am I Becoming a Narcissist?
7 Underrated Signs of a Narcissistic Individual
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Okay, so now that we’ve explored three different forms of narcissism, let’s tackle some underrated signs that someone is indeed a narcissist person — because again, a lot of people who keep saying that their ex is a narcissist or someone who disagrees with them on a post is a narcissist? All they’re doing is proving that they are parroting what others say instead of actually understanding what they are talking about (kind of like how people also tend to misuse and overuse words like “toxic” and “bipolar” too…we’ll touch on that at another time, though).
Oh, and before we briefly touch on these seven narcissistic tendencies, it’s a good idea to continue to keep in mind that a full-on narcissist doesn’t usually only display 1-2 of these — more times than not, it’s most. Ready?
1. A NARCISSIST Has a Ton of Unrealistic Demands
Don’t even get me started on the fact that if narcissism only had one definition and this was it, easily 70 percent of the dating side of TikTok would earn the title. Lawd, I’ve almost gone numb from the nonstop influx of videos where people are going on and on about what they demand from someone in a dating dynamic that sounds like they’ve been watching throwback episodes ofDynasty (the real ones know) or something.
Narcissism is about having an inflated ego, and egomaniacs are all about expecting not only unrealistic things but things that they typically are not able to offer in return. The sad thing is they don’t care about reciprocity because they’re too arrogant to think that it’s warranted or necessary.
2. A NARCISSIST Needs Constant Admiration
NNot too long ago, I was talking to an elderly woman about selfies. What she said, I couldn’t debate: “I honestly don’t get how you don’t think that you’re arrogant if you’re constantly taking pictures of yourself. Do you think you look any different today from the picture you posted yesterday?” I’m going to get into some data about how social media is creating a ton of narcissists by the hour, yet for now, what I will say is it’s one thing to update people on your world; it’s another to post ten shots a day, highly filtered, only to feel like you’re gonna have a nervous breakdown if everyone doesn’t tell you how gorgeous you are.
Yeah, social media definitely makes people think that they should be constantly focused on and praised only — and that frame of mind ultimately benefits no one.
3. A NARCISSIST Is Highly Manipulative
Narcissistic people are self-centered to the utmost. This means that they will do whatever possible to get their way or to stay in control — even if that requires controlling other people. Some ways that manipulative people move is they lie, they deflect (bookmark that), love bomb, gaslight, they act passive-aggressively (check out “Gaslighting, Love Bombing & 5 Other Triggers To Call Out In Your Relationships”), they will be verbally abusive, will “punish” by withholding attention/affection, be hypercritical, have a selective memory, push triggers, constantly try to one-up you, guilt trip you and/or play the victim — and it will all be to get what they want, no matter how uncomfortable it may make you feel in the process.
4. A NARCISSIST Is Grossly Selfish
A wise person once said, “Selfish people don’t care about you, unless you are doing something for them.” There is a woman who I’ve known since college who fits this to a T. She is so self-consumed that it’s almost comical because she and I have been out of college for a few decades at this point, and I can’t think of one time that she’s offered to do something for me to this day — oh, but she’ll ask for stuff often which is why, at this point in my life, I am intentional about keeping my distance (and it has been like a breath of fresh air!). Someone who is one-sided (their side) is selfish. Someone who likes to dominate people and/or spaces is selfish. Someone who never really thinks about how to meet the needs of others is selfish. How many selfish people do you know?
5. A NARCISSIST Exploits/Takes Advantage of Other People
A few years ago, I devoted about 16 months to studying narcissistic abuse (the YouTube channel The Royal We is a really good starting point, by the way) — and boy was it hella enlightening. One thing that you can be sure of when it comes to this unique kind of relational torture is you will be drained dry. Again, because narcissists think that the only one who really and truly matters is them — you can never say enough, do enough, or be enough to make them happy.
Satisfaction is a word that is foreign to them because narcissists always think that they are worthy of more. So, if that means using you and even devastating you to accomplish that mission, so be it (again, think about how people talk when it comes to their dating requirements on social media…don’t a lot of them sound very narcissistic to you?).
6. A NARCISSIST Always Thinks Someone Is Jealous of Them
One of my favorite sayings is, “Trust me, no one is thinking about you half as much as you think that they are.” Narcissists will never agree with this because their ego is so self-inflated that they always think someone is talking about them, consumed by them, or secretly wishing that they could be them. As a direct result, it makes them paranoid when it comes to cultivating genuine relationships offline, and they are obsessed with believing that someone is always saying something slick about them online — how could someone not? That’s how important they are…to themselves, chile.
7. A NARCISSIST Is Apathetic As Hell (Especially If They Can’t Benefit from Something in Some Way)
Empathy, in large part, is the innate ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. You can either mirror what someone is feeling at any given time (affective empathy) or you can relate to what they are going through on a pretty profound level (cognitive empathy). A very basic definition of apathy is a lack of interest, feeling, or motivation. Apathetic people can put you in harm’s way because they don’t really care about you and your needs; at the very least, they are indifferent, and at the most, they can be ruthless. Heartless-acting people roll in one (or a hybrid) of these ways.
How Social Media Is Doing Its Part to Cultivate Narcissism
There is a London-based psychotherapist by the name of Seerut K. Chawla whose IG posts (IG name is seerutkchawla) that I happen to like a lot. One day, she posted something (above) that was so good that I emailed it to several people in my world; that’s just how on-point I found it to be.
You see those first two points? Talk about something that needs to be printed on T-shirts and coffee mugs and distributed around the world ASAP! Indeed, not everyone you dislike, not every relationship that didn’t go your way, not every person who has standards/interests/attractions that you don’t agree with (even if that standard/interest/attraction isn’t you) is a narcissist — and not everything that is uncomfortable for you is a traumatic experience. Folks who are out here using words with significant definitions, like buzzwords, are adding to the problem, not helping it.
And what problem is that? The growing amount of narcissists that are being created, via social media, on a seemingly daily basis. Aside from the two types (grandiose and vulnerable) of narcissists that we already touched on, two others include communal narcissists (ones who like to brag about what they do for others; even the Bible says not to do that — Matthew 6:1-4) and malignant narcissists (a lot of criminals are those).
And here’s what’s wild about all of them: one study revealed that a whopping 30 percent of people between the ages of 16-29 consider themselves to be a narcissist. Where are they all coming from? Early this year, Harvard Business Review published a piece entitled, “Are You a Digital Narcissist?”. One of the things that it said is this:
“One of the key facets of narcissism is grandiose exhibitionism, which is characterized by self-absorption and self-promotional impulses. Both things are well-suited to our increasingly digital world. More than anyone else, narcissistic individuals feel the need to be the center of attention, even if that means engaging in inappropriate, awkward, or eccentric interpersonal behaviors. In other words, the more narcissistic you are, the more likely you are to engage in exhibitionist behaviors online, which in turn will only feed into your narcissism.”
In other words, if you can’t command attention anywhere else (good or bad), social media will scratch that itch for you. And since there are almost five billion people with social media accounts, well, I’m sure you can connect the dots on how constantly talking about oneself all day has the potential to encourage narcissism well over any form of humility (which is why taking social media breaks on occasion is always a wise move).
Oftentimes, People Who Call Others “Narcissists” Are Simply…Deflecting
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Remember how, when we went over some of the “unsung” traits of a narcissist when we got to the topic of a manipulator, deflecting came up? Deflecting is all about doing whatever you can to get the focus off of you. Oftentimes a deflector is also a projector. What I mean by that is they become basically paranoid that everyone around them is doing the very thing that they are (a lot of cheaters move this way). Keeping all of this in mind, now that so much about narcissism has been unpacked, can you see how it’s possible that a lot of people who incessantly use the word are quite possibly one themselves?
How can you know what a deflector looks and lives like?
- They don’t take accountability for their actions
- They like to shift blame
- They constantly change the subject whenever they are called out
- They act like their poor choices are fine by basing them on their circumstances
- They will verbally attack you whenever they’re told something that they don’t want to hear
- THEY SUCK AT APOLOGIZING
And y’all, that’s just for starters (SMDH). Still, I thought it was important to bring this point up because it’s kind of wild that when I watch a lot of these “he was a narcissist” videos, that answer is often in response to someone being asked what happened in the relationship---and I don’t know about y’all but that sure does look a lot like some Olympic-level deflecting to me. Was he a narcissist, or are you deflecting from some other issues? Hmm…
Folks better be careful because, as we’ve already addressed, a narcissist is a master deflector, and there is plenty of that happening out in cyberspace.
How to Avoid Becoming a Narcissist
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This was a lot of intel — I already know. Yet I really do think that this topic needed to be tackled so that narcissism can be approached more carefully than it tends to be. And now that you know what narcissism actually is, if there were a couple of toes that got stepped on as you were taking all of this in, you might be wondering what you can do to make sure that you don’t become a narcissist yourself (or that you stop acting like one).
Let’s end this with a few bulletpoint tips:
- Hold yourself accountable
- Allow others to hold you accountable too
- Learn how to take criticism
- Stop being hyper-defensive (because, yes, it is a choice)
- Care about other people’s feelings
- Identify your triggers and discipline yourself to not always react to them
- Do things for other people
- Remember that beauty isn’t just external
- Listen (other people have things to say besides you)
- Think before acting
- BE TEACHABLE
- APOLOGIZE
- Go on social media fasts
- Remind yourself daily that it will never only be about you
- Seek therapy, if needed
I once read a quote that sums all of this up perfectly, in my opinion:
“A narcissist’s life is really quite simple: every conversation, every situation, every interaction, every moment has an overarching theme: let’s make this be about me.”
As you move, both on and offline, please keep this in mind…if you truly want to avoid…being — the actual definition of — a narcissist.
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Featured image by Westend61/Getty Images
- This Is How A Friend Can Gaslight You — And Make It Feel Like It's Your Fault ›
- The Science Behind Our Attraction To F*ckboys ›
- Is Your Tightest Friendship Nothing More Than A Trauma Bond? ›
- What If It's Your Parents Who Happen To Be The Narcissists? ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Your May 2024 Horoscopes Are All About Setting Intentions, Focus, And Self-Discovery
Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
May is a month of intention and about focusing on what you are creating in your life right now. Eclipse Season is over for the time being; Mercury is direct again, yet there are still more opportunities for breakthrough and self-discovery. The month begins with Pluto going retrograde in Aquarius on May 2, signifying the need to reclaim your power right now. Pluto will be retrograde until October 11, and this is a good time to experience a renewal within your belief systems, friendships, and community. After a time of change and regrouping, May is a time to create a new path for yourself and feel more secure in doing so.
Taurus Season is in full bloom, and on May 7 the Moon will be joining the Sun for the New Moon in Taurus. This New Moon is an opportunity for luxury, self-care, stability, and harmony.
When the Moon is in Taurus, we are guided towards taking care of ourselves more, and this is a good time to set your intentions for where you want to experience more ease, love, and TLC in life. This New Moon will be a powerful time for manifestation, so make sure you are focused on what you want to create in your life right now. Mercury then moves out of Aries and into Taurus on May 15th, and perspectives move into the energy of more logic, patience, and practicality.
Mercury in Taurus brings the focus to your finances as well, and this is a good time to ask for a raise or promotion, take care of finances, or build your assets.
What May 2024 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
Gemini Season makes its debut on May 20 this year, and the Sun moving into these air signs makes the energy a little lighter and playful, and by the end of the month, people are looking to have some more fun. With a Full Moon in Sagittarius happening a few days later on May 23, the end of May is an exciting, eye-opening, and adventurous time. The Sagittarius Full Moon is the Flower Moon of the Year, and it’s time you receive yours.
Venus moves into Gemini on May 23 as well, and during this time, relationship matters can feel a little more all over the place. However, this is also a more social, charming, and dynamic time for love as well. While Venus is in Gemini, remember that communication is key, and a more open-minded and flexible approach to matters of the heart is needed.
One of the most important transits of the year happens as May comes to an end, and that is Jupiter's move into Gemini. Jupiter has been in Taurus for the past year, helping us grow and get the full picture when it comes to your stability, relationships, and finances, and Jupiter's move into Gemini brings things into focus when it comes to your self-expression, communication, connections, and joy in life.
Jupiter will be in Gemini from May 25, 2024, to June 9, 2025, and this is the perfect opportunity to connect with your creative genius and meet new people with whom you resonate. May, overall, has a lot of potential for opportunity, insight, and collaboration, and this is the perfect month to set your intentions for the future while also living in the moment with the people you love and who inspire you.
Read for your sun sign and rising sign below to see what May 2024 has in store for you.
ARIES
May is a coming-together month for you, and things are starting to make more sense after Mercury retrograde in your sign for most of last month. You are getting more time within your relationships and close partnerships right now, and the New Moon on May 7, happening in your 2nd house, is when this connection, love, and stability begin to come in for you. You have been asking yourself the important questions and are ready to break ground and create the new beginnings you see for yourself.
With Mars in your sign for the entire month of May, you have a lot of energy and passion at your disposal right now, and you are making things happen for yourself. This is a good time for feeling connected to your body and for seeing positive results regarding your health. Jupiter moves into your house of communication at the end of the month where it will be for the next year, and you are moving into a time of more grace, understanding, and opportunity for self-expression right now, Aries - own your voice.
TAURUS
The Sun is in your sign, and you are shining authentically in who you are, Taurus. May is a beautiful month for growth and a time when you are finding your balance between letting go of the past and remaining true to yourself in the present. The New Moon of the month is happening in your sign on May 7, signifying a time of new beginnings for you and when it comes to your goals in life and your sense of freedom.
Be confident in your desires, and know yourself, Taurus. With all the manifestations that are coming forth for you this month, clarity is one of them.
Mercury enters your sign on May 15, and this is a time of positive communication, connection, and gaining some new wisdom. With Mercury in your sign, be prepared for some extra communication on your hands as people are looking to hear your perspective. Jupiter moves out of your sign and enters Aries on May 25 after being in Taurus for the past year, and the luck you have been experiencing in life transfers to your finances, income, and value systems. Overall, you are finding your way and making sense of it all this month.
GEMINI
May is a time of rebirth for you, Gemini. You are in a good head space this month now that your ruling planet, Mercury, is officially out of retrograde and direct again. This is a powerful month for you when things are turning around for you and some extra good karma and luck are coming your way. With the Sun in your 12th house for most of May, you are getting an opportunity to renew and heal from the past and to gain some new understanding of where you have been in life and what you want to create moving forward.
Gemini Season begins on May 20, and it’s your time to shine! Gemini Season this year is a month full of opportunity and clarity, and you are bringing your best self forward. There is a Full Moon on May 23 in your opposite sign, Sagittarius, and love matters are coming full circle for you now so that you can let go of old belief systems that don’t serve you or your relationships anymore. Your most important astrological transit of 2024 happens at the end of the month on May 25, as Jupiter enters your sign for the next year. Jupiter in your sign signifies good luck, fortune, and personal success in your future.
CANCER
This month is about finding your balance, manifesting, and working together with others, Cancer. It’s about choosing peace and trusting your intuition right now to guide you forward. The Sun is in your 11th house in May, and you are thinking of the big picture and not letting anything get in the way of your vision or purpose. There is a New Moon at the start of the month in this area of your chart, and your power of manifestation is especially strong this month, so make sure you are following your true North and setting the intentions that feel right for you internally.
On May 23, Venus enters your 12th house of endings and closure, and love is about moving on and moving into more healing and emotionally receptive experiences. Relationship matters are moving through a transformation now, and you are learning a lot through your partnerships, both old and new, this month. There is a Full Moon on May 23 as well, and this Full Moon will be bringing up old work, projects, and intentions; it’s time to congratulate yourself for your successes and how far you come, as others will want to support you more right now as well.
LEO
Over the next month, you are getting the opportunity to stand your ground, speak up for yourself, and claim your space, Leo. This month is about being your biggest cheerleader and seeing yourself in the way you wish others to see you. The Sun is in your 10th house for most of May, and you are focused on taking action and going after your dreams right now. The New Moon on May 7 is a good time to set your intentions for said goals and dreams and to really believe in yourself.
On May 23, there is a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Sagittarius, happening in an area of your chart that has to do with your happiness, romance, creative self-expression, and overall joy for life. You are getting the full picture of where your priorities are or need to be, and are bringing more attention to the things that are going to truly make you happy and fulfilled at the end of the day. Jupiter enters Gemini on the same day where it will remain until 2025, and this move is expanding things for you when it comes to your friendships, community, and social networks.
VIRGO
May is a month of connecting with your soul and creating harmony in your life, Virgo. You are moving into a time of greater freedom and authenticity, and May is a good month for travel for you. With a New Moon in Taurus at the beginning of the month, you are expanding your horizons and gaining some much-needed inspiration. This is the time to do things differently and to not be afraid to take risks, and a leap of faith in yourself. You are feeling a little more optimistic in May, and this is creating an opening in your life.
On May 23, we have a Full Moon in your 4th house of home and family, and this is a good time for experiencing closure in this area of your life, and like things are coming full circle for you here. The first half of the month is all about adventure, and the second half of May, you are looking to build in your stability. Jupiter moves into your 10th house of career and success before the month ends, and you enter a year-long transit that will be positively influencing and expanding your reputation and goals in life.
LIBRA
May is an opportunity to learn, inspire, and spend some more time with the people who bring this energy out of you, Libra. The month begins with Pluto going retrograde in your 5th house of love, and you need some more time to grasp what is going on in your heart and how you can find your power in life here more. There is a lot to learn and discover this month, and the New Moon on May 7 will be an eye-opening and transformative moment for you where you can dive deep into your love life and commitments and see where a new beginning may be necessary.
There is a Full Moon happening later in the month and this Full Moon will be bringing forth spiritual guidance into your life. This is a Full Moon to connect, communicate, and share your insights and ideas with others. On May 25, Jupiter enters Gemini and moves into your 9th house of adventure, and you are entering a year of travel, enlightenment, spirituality, and higher education. Your mind is your gift right now; trust you have everything you need to experience greatness and be open to meeting new people who will help you get there.
SCORPIO
This month is about remaining open and receptive to what is possible for you and your future, Scorpio. You are in a good space to receive your due blessings and rewards, but your heart must be open to receive them. Your ruling planet, Pluto, goes retrograde at the start of the month on May 2, and this Pluto retro transit will allow you to rebuild your vision for the home, and help you figure out where you can bring more of yourself into your surroundings.
A lot of the energy of the month is in your opposite sign, Taurus, meaning it’s in your love and partnership zones.
May is one of the most significant months of love for you out of the year, and the intentions you set for your relationships on the New Moon this month will be creating magic in your love life for the rest of the year. On May 23, there is a Full Moon in the sign just after yours, bringing attention to your finances, income, and self-confidence in it all. The end of May is a time to focus a little more on your stability in life and to take a look at your finances. This is a good time to clean your purse or wallet, create some feng shui, and go over your assets.
SAGITTARIUS
Your guidance for the month is to go with the flow and trust your instincts, Sagittarius. The New Moon happening on the 7th is a new door opening for you, your health, and your daily routine, and you are focused on what is going to be best for you and your well-being overall. You are trusting your next steps ahead and remaining grounded with where things are in the meantime. It’s all about trust right now and how much of it you can have for yourself.
The Full Moon of the month will be in your sign on May 23rd, and this is a powerful Full Moon for you of closure, clarity, and self-confidence. You are letting go of what doesn’t resonate with who you are now and what you want to expand in your life. This is a good time to say your affirmations, meditate, and get out of your own head. Before the month ends, your ruling planet, Jupiter, enters your opposite sign, Gemini, and your love life gets an extra boost of good luck right now. Jupiter will be in your 7th house of partnership until 2025, and you are entering a year of harmony, Sagittarius.
CAPRICORN
Abundance is your birthright, and you are tapping into this energy this month, Capricorn. May is a month full of opportunities for you, and a lot of this good juju is coming through for you romantically right now. The Sun is in your 5th house of the heart for most of the month, and there is a New Moon here on May 7 as well.
At the beginning of May, make sure you are focused on communicating clearly, owning your passions in life, and having some more fun with love and the romance that wants to bloom for you here.
With Mercury entering your 5th house on May 15 as well, you could be receiving a surprise message or be having some interesting conversations right now that switch things up for you in love. On May 25, Jupiter moves into an area of your chart having to do with your health, lifestyle, and work life, and you are overall going to be coming into balance more here and experiencing some fortunate opportunities at work and within your daily routine. Overall, May is a month that is setting you up for success, Capricorn.
AQUARIUS
May is an opportunity for you to connect, move forward, and learn more about yourself and your heart, Aquarius. You are paying attention to the signs right now and making sense of things that may have gone past you before. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign as the month begins on May 2, you are someone who will be moving through a journey of self-discovery for the rest of the year and will be figuring out where your true power is in life and how to hone in on it more.
The New Moon in Taurus on May 7 is a new beginning for you and your home life, and a lot of this month will be about finding those people and spaces that feel like home to you and that make you feel supported in who you are. Jupiter enters a fellow air sign on May 25, and Jupiter in Gemini brings in a year ahead of romance, creativity, confidence, and finding your joy. Things are shifting big time in your life right now, but you are figuring out what works for you and what doesn’t.
PISCES
It's time to protect your energy and create boundaries where needed, Pisces. May is a month of checking in with yourself and emotionally regulating before moving forward. Pluto goes retrograde at the start of the month and will be retrograde in your 12th house of closure, secrets, and healing until October. What this means for you is a chance at clarity of the heart, but this transit can also bring up old issues or power struggles of the past. Remember to learn from past experiences and decide for yourself today how you want things to go for you from here.
There is a Full Moon in Sagittarius on May 23, and being a mutable sign like Sagittarius, you can tap into the potential of this Full Moon effectively. This is the time to turn a page within your career or professional world and see some resolution here. Before the month ends Jupiter enters your house of home, family, and history, and you are going to be opening your mind on these matters over the next year. You could be expanding the home, moving, or experiencing a deep sense of healing here now.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole