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I'm Caught Between My Anxiety Disorder & Religion, Here’s How I Cope
I never thought that I would be sharing my experiences with anxiety while being a Christian. One reason being, I never thought or knew I had an official anxiety disorder until March of 2018. All this time I thought I was one strange individual. I oftentimes kept my weird quirky behavior to myself because of sheer embarrassment and the people closest to me thought most of my behavior was funny or some sort of joke. Although I did try to make light of a lot of my experiences, there is definitely nothing funny about anxiety when you are in the midst of a full-on attack.
Having anxiety is hard. Having anxiety and being a Christian is even harder. How many times have we heard someone say:
"You have to trust in God."
"God will make a way girl, don't worry."
"You need to just give it all to God and pray."
"The Bible says we shouldn't be anxious and to have faith. Your faith is not strong enough."
I have heard this and more, far too many times than I would like to talk about. Each and every time I've heard it, a little part of me died inside and I just rolled my eyes and chalked it up to pseudo Christian ignorance. What most people don't understand is Christians who suffer with anxiety often feel guilty for suffering.
We are taught to be the "best" Christian; we're supposed to have unwavering faith and believe. We deal with so much pressure to have faith and believe in God's goodness, on top of battling frightening intrusive thoughts. Ultimately, the pressure manifests itself into more anxiety.
We start to constantly worry about not demonstrating enough faith and because of said "lack of faith", we continue to suffer. What does this mean for the ones who try their hardest to manage their anxiety and have faith but come up short as soon as an attack hits?
I would have to say God created us and sent us Jesus and the gift of communion with the Holy Spirit because God knows the mind is a battlefield. Your faith should never be in question. I mean if we want to look at the bible and get technical, ya boy David was stressed out to the max! Either that or he was just hella dramatic and was exploring his creative writing talents. His psalms are a mixture of praise and worship and most of all crying out in times of stress and anxiousness. Take for instance Psalms 6:1–10, David was in full on meltdown mode, screaming like Wyclef, SOMEONE PLEASE CALL 911. His anxiousness started to manifest itself in his body physically. While I feel terribly bad for all that David had to go through, this was comforting to me because it lets me know I am not alone.
We are not alone. God equipped me to defeat and overcome this and He equipped you to overcome this as well.
I know the first thing you thought reading that was, it's easier said than done. Trust me, I have been through hell and back in my mind, dealing with depression and anxiety at the same time, all while feeling like I was not a real human being, living in an altered existence. Imagine taking a bad trip on some drugs and never coming down off of them. Well, that is exactly how I felt 24/7 for months. I had been experiencing an awful symptom of anxiety called depersonalization. I was able to come to terms with my anxiety disorder and I picked up a few tools and grounding techniques that are Christian folk-friendly.
This isn't at all about religion, this is about the way you develop your relationship with God and how doing that will help you to overcome and heal your anxiety and if not fully heal, you absolutely will be able to cope much better than you ever have been able to do before.
One of the most powerful things that helped me to push through and win this battle was using scriptures as affirmations.
If you're anything like me, you may say some affirmations and then close your eyes and hope that there will be a change. You open your eyes and you see that life is still the same. Disappointing, I know. I started to think more on the exercise of using affirmations. Just saying them won't do much but what does work is speaking out your affirmations, and pushing yourself even if only for a split second to get into the feeling of the affirmation being said. We all are capable of doing that, no matter how depressed or anxious we are. I've noticed that sometimes my mind can wonder and forget about the anxious state I am in and once I realized I've forgotten, my mind is like, 'Wait a minute, we are supposed to be depressed, yep, let's go back to that.'
Once I realized that was happening, it dawned on me: I can get into the feelings of my affirmations.
During my darkest moments with anxiety and depersonalization, I was given the scripture 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." I would repeat that verse to myself and for a couple seconds, imagine what I would feel like if I could feel normal again, and not bound down by so many morbid thoughts and fear. Eventually, I started to gain the courage to step out of my room, return to work, and be in social settings. So, I say try for one minute today to speak a positive healing affirmation of your choosing, and for 60 seconds, imagine what it would feel like when that affirmation comes true. Test my theory, do it for 7 days, and see if you start to feel a difference in how you handle your fears.
The comfort that can be found in structure and routines.
The anxious mind hates routines and normally when anxiousness senses routines happening, it tends to dissipate. Start by setting small goals for your routines. I never had any routines, I was a fly by the seat of my pants type of girl. To an extent, I still am and could use some tuning up. However, when I was at my worst, anxiety-wise, I put myself on a schedule. I woke up early, I forced myself to get out bed, and I focused on the daily tasks I set for myself. I also joined a gym and took evening classes so that kept me out late in the evenings. Less time to be home alone with my thoughts.
When I got home I would shower and use every lavender product I had in the house on my body and sheets so that I would have the most comfortable sleep. I also made sure not to fall asleep with the television on during this time. As our subconscious mind is so impressionable and I didn't want to chance feeding my subconscious anything that would aggravate the anxiety. So, my point is, what kind of routine can you begin in your day to day activities? It could be setting a time to wake up every morning and going to exercise or have breakfast. Or you set time aside at work twice a day to do some grounding meditation. Create more structure in your day to day. The mind is so vulnerable and moldable and will eventually fall in line with what you tell it to do.
Journaling is one of the most therapeutic things we can do for ourselves.
I used to be so discouraged from journaling because of trauma in my childhood and feelings of not being a good enough writer. It wasn't until I said to myself, who cares if it's horrible writing, no one will see it, that I began to write. I wrote about my innermost secrets, painful experiences, my mistakes, and every little thing I was too ashamed to talk about with anyone. It became a time of meditation and prayer. What began to happen was a breakthrough. I started to see where and how my thoughts came to be so negative and how anxiety has always been a part of my life and why it was so overbearing.
The journaling helped me process like I had never processed before with no judgement from anyone, not even myself.
I believe that was the work of the Holy Spirit sitting with me and communing with me. The Holy Spirit is here to help us process and give us the words to speak on our behalf to God the Father. Make a decision to commit to journaling and see where it takes you. If you're like me and you struggle with inconsistency, set small goals in the beginning. Try saying to yourself if I'm feeling stuck, sad, or completely disconnected, I will write. It doesn't matter how long or how much, just the action alone will help you move closer to your goal of healing and recovery.
Taking a walk or just sitting outside can be so calming.
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Lately on Saturday mornings, I go for a walk and find a bench and people-watch. It's something about seeing life happening in front of you that reconnects you. As I'm sitting, I truly believe it's a moment of being still in God's presence. Throughout my worst moments of feeling so disconnected with earth and my own body, just sitting and taking in fresh air and feeling the breeze hit my skin would reconnect me, even if only for a moment. I would get up and walk sometimes and begin to talk with God and tell Him all about how weird and disconnected I was feeling and how bad I wanted to get back to normal. It took time but I eventually got back to normal and I truly believe it was the work of God. The walking and people-watching and being out in nature was grounding for me and it could be a great grounding technique for you.
Get out and be around people.
I know if you are having constant panic attacks or you have been highly anxious and it's causing depression, the last thing you want to do is be around people. I was the same way, in fact, I was irritated when people would come around because they either had no idea what I was going through or I would explain it to them and they would look at me like I had morphed into an alien right before their eyes. As if what I was going through wasn't stressful enough! First thing to remember is this, people will be people and most of the time, I say this with no malice, we are absolutely ridiculous. However, this doesn't mean people don't mean well or they don't try to comprehend the best way they know how.
Have compassion for yourself around your people and have compassion for their lack of understanding.
Find someone you can trust and share with them. You might realize you are not alone and some of the people closest to you could be struggling with their mental health as well. It wasn't until I started to express to one of my close friends what I was going through that she revealed she had the very same experience and never told anyone. I can say I have had far more positive experiences than negative when I began to open up and share what I was going through. I began to push myself to go out in social settings again and reintegrate with people around me. If I ever began to feel off or way too disconnected, I would use my breathing and grounding tools to calm myself down or I would just call it a night and go home. The idea here is to take one step at a time, and just getting out of the house is a big one!
It's so easy for me to sit behind this laptop and tell you what to do, but it was much harder for me to step out on faith and do it. So, I know your struggle! I want to assure you that I am rebuilding my emotional well-being because of the tools I have shared with you. I did a lot of meditation, quiet time, journaling, and therapy. They all helped me but the most important thing as Christians we must not forget, is that through all our suffering, God still wants a relationship with you and He most certainly hasn't abandoned you. I look back now and realize I was using that time of isolation to get closer to God. The closer I got to Him, the closer I got to healing. I encourage you to do the same if you haven't started already.
Do you have any coping tools you'd like to share? Comment below I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
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