It's an interesting thing to find ourselves in a generation where healing can feel trendy. Across social media, #healing is one of the most popular hashtags to date, with over 41 million posts associated and 3.5K posts daily related to the subject. When I first began my healing journey, healing was not trendy.
My first therapy session was when I was a pre-teen. My family was in a transitional period, and I was acting out, so my mother took me to therapy once a week. We went a few times. I don't think we ever told anyone, and we never really discussed therapy again until I was in college. In my early twenties, a few months before graduation, I was experiencing a great deal of depression and social anxiety.
I started going to therapy, and it changed the entire trajectory of my life, but there was still a lot of shame.
Therapy in Black households and communities was taboo, and if you needed therapy, you were met with comments like, "That's for white people" or "You're not crazy. You don't need therapy." So, it didn't necessarily create an environment where I wanted to shout about therapy from the rooftops. Additionally, my then-therapist was on my college campus, so I literally went to therapy in secret.
Once a week, I walked to the other side of campus and went to therapy, and it was there that I found parts of myself that I thought I lost and discovered that therapy is a tool needed for a happy, healthy life, not a resource of the rich or something to be embarrassed about. Almost a decade later, it still amazes me that scrolling social media content from celebrities to influencers, it's nothing to see now reflections post-therapy, discussions on healing, and even in pop culture with music and television.
As someone who finds themselves within the wellness industry, I initially thought this is amazing, especially because the pandemic showed us how important mental health awareness is. I found comfort in knowing that this work has become mainstream and that, as a culture, we can begin to have discussions about wellness and well-being. But somewhere along the way, healing became entirely too trendy.
It became this thing that you purchase, and not a journey that's authentic to your needs. Healing is now seen as an aesthetic, where if you purchase a shadow work journal, burn sage, drink water out of a Stanley cup, own a matching workout set, and understand the concept of boundaries, then your healing journey is legitimized.
I'm not here to debate if daily writing, increasing your water intake, purchasing workout clothes, and establishing boundaries aren't healing, but what I am saying is - healing is not one size fits all and doesn't have to overtake your entire personality.
Healing is now being packaged as this season of life where you do nothing but focus on self-improvement, and after you're done, your life is better. True healing is layered and ongoing, and it's not just found in books, physical exercise, or even therapy.
It's looking at the parts of yourself that you don't like, and learning to find the love and gratitude in them. It's finding joy during the darkest moments in your life. It's allowing yourself to be a person worthy of love, support, and a life filled with balance, even while healing, because, contrary to social media, healing never ends.
For our entire lives, we'll be growing, learning, and unlearning, and as long as you exist on this earth and are committed to growth, you're healing in your own way.
Your journey doesn't have to have an aesthetic, and you don't have to announce to social media that you're healing in order for your journey to be authentic. If you want to heal, ask yourself what are the areas of your life that require self-reflection, and with a therapist explore a path to wellness that fits your needs and lifestyle.
And even once you find that path, don’t wrap your identity up into healing because even at the lowest point in your life, you are so much more than self-work, your life isn’t a project that constantly needs repair, it’s meant to be lived, don’t forget that.
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Serena Williams Hits Back At Skin-Bleaching Accusations: 'I’m A Dark, Black Woman, And I Love Who I Am'
Serena Williams is clapping back at skin-bleaching accusations. During a makeup tutorial for her beauty brand, Wyn Beauty, the tennis legend took the opportunity to address the "haters."
“And then I put just that neutral color, that is actually my skin color, and no, for you haters out there, I do not bleach my skin,” she said. “There is a thing called sunlight, and in that sunlight, you get different colors.”
The rumors started after the mom of two posted a video of herself and her husband, Alexis Ohanian, at their daughter's school play. In the video, she appeared to look a few shades lighter. During her response, she revealed that she was volunteering at the play and wore stage makeup.
“Yes, I’m calling you out on this because it is ridiculous that everyone’s like, ‘Oh, she bleached her skin,’" she said. "I’m a dark, Black woman, and I love who I am, and I love how I look and that's just not my thing.”
The 23-time Grand Slam champion also said that she doesn't judge anyone who bleaches their skin as she "stays in my lane."
Serena has always had style on and off the court, and even collaborated with Nike with her own collection Serena Williams Design Crew. However, the tennis champ has now pivoted into beauty.
Wyn Beauty was launched in April 2024 with at 10-piece collection of lip, eye, and complexion products. The brand was inspired by Serena's time on the court and the packaging is reminiscent of a tennis ball due to its chartreuse color.
“Throughout my career, I was always searching for makeup that looked good after hours on the court, mixing products myself and creating my own formulas while traveling the world,” she said in a statement. As she continues to make a name for herself in the beauty industry, I'm sure we will see a lot more looks from the tennis star.
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Feature image by Marc Piasecki/WireImage