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Self-Love Journaling & Why You Should Be Doing It
While I don't get to do it, nearly as much as I used to (because when you write for a living, doing what I'm about to share in your leisure time, often feels like, well, work), something that I am trying to make time for (again) is journaling. Even though it's been a hot minute since I've done it on a daily (or even weekly) basis, I recently revisited some of my journal collection—and man. While the act of journaling is proven to de-stress, organize thoughts, set goals and inspire creativity, what I really like about it is journaling is a great way to self-reflect. When you actually make the time to document your own thoughts and feelings, on a consistent basis, and then you reread the things that you said six months, one year or even 10 years ago—it really can blow your mind to do a compare and contrast of where you are now vs. where you used to be as a person. As a bonus, journaling can bring a lot of clarity to your mind and spirit too.
When it comes to types of journaling, believe it or not, there are all kinds that you can do. For instance, off the top of my head, our platform has covered bullet journaling as well as sex journaling. But what I wanna spend some time on today, is why you should absolutely consider a method known as self-love journaling. Whether journaling is a part of your daily routine or it's something that you've never done before, hopefully this article will convince you to, at least give the practice of writing down words with a total self-love focus (ooo, doesn't that sound good?), a shot.
What’s Self-Love Journaling?
Last year, I wrote an article entitled, "Every Woman Should Write A Love Letter To Themselves". If you've yet to check it out (or you'd like the CliffsNotes version as a reminder), it was basically a write-up on why it's important to write a letter, expressing the love that you have for yourself; not just write it but revisit the words from time to time as well. Well, self-love journaling is very similar to this, only with two main differences.
One, if you're someone who struggles with your self-esteem (don't feel bad about that; most of us have at some point or another in our lives), sometimes being told to simply "love yourself" can prove to be so much easier said than done; even when it comes to sitting down and writing words of love, admiration and respect to yourself. Well, self-love journaling can help to inspire and even "prompt" you to come up with ways to see yourself in a positive and self-nurturing light.
Another difference between self-love journaling and simply writing yourself a love letter is it's something that you don't do just once. Some people do it every day. Many people do it as a seasonal project. What I mean by that is, they may implement a 30-day period where they set aside time, either every morning or every night, to write in their journal. Then, after the 30 days are up, they will write a closing paragraph about all of what they self-discovered during that period of time. They might leave the paragraph in their journal or they might print it out, frame it and hang it up as a piece of art in their home. Then, they make a point to do it every winter, spring, summer and fall, in order to keep track of their progress.
Basically, self-love journaling is all about using a journal to cultivate ways to learn more about you, so that you can love yourself better. An added bonus to this is, once you know how to love you, you are better equipped to teach others how to do the same.
Here’s How to Start Doing It
If the more you read about self-love journaling, the more down you are for doing it, how about I share some steps for how to get started.
Start off with a fresh new journal. Make sure it's not some grocery store notebook or even a generic-looking journal that you would find at a local bookstore. Remember, this is all about cultivating self-love, so invest in a journal that represents either how you feel about yourself or how you want to end up feeling about yourself in due time. The fancier and individualized, the better.
Create an atmosphere for journaling. This exercise isn't gonna go as well as it should if you simply decide to plop down on your couch and scribble down a few words while you're watching television. You need to create a haven of peace and tranquility. Hey, no joke. Invest in some scented candles. Put on some music that makes you feel nothing but good. Put your smartphone in another room. Make sure you're wearing something comfy. Consider doing a little meditating first. And then, get to writing. Writing what? This brings us to the next instruction.
Consider incorporating some self-love prompts. If you're like, "I don't know how to start" or "I don't know what to say", I get it; not a problem. Sometimes prompts can inspire your juices to get to flowing. When it comes to self-love journaling, I've got some that might be able to motivate you a bit.
- What is your favorite thing about yourself?
- What are your special gifts and talents?
- In a perfect world, what is your idea of a perfect day?
- When's the last time you pampered yourself? Why did you do those things?
- If you were a flower, what kind would you be and why?
- What does love mean to you? Do you personally reflect that definition?
- When's the last time you've forgiven yourself?
- What do you want to get more out of in life?
- How do you feel God sees you?
- What are the wonderful things that you bring to your relationships?
- Do you believe that you deserve the very best things in life? Why or why not?
- What are five of your favorite personal character traits?
- What do you love about your mind, body and spirit?
- How can you love yourself better?
- What's holding yourself back from loving yourself more?
Set aside (at least) 15-30 minutes to respond to one of those prompts. I only shared 15 prompts that came to mind. However, if you go to your favorite search engine and you put "self-love prompts" in the search field, there are many others that you can choose from. Anyway, pick a question each day, then set aside some time to answer it. Some days, the answer might be a sentence long while, on others, it might be 2-3 pages. Don't worry about that. Just share what comes to your mind and stop when you start to feel overwhelmed or like you are forcing the process. On some days, you will have an "answer" that feels pretty close to being complete while, on others, you might not get much out. Remember, you can always revisit the prompt. Just make sure that you log in the date and time, every time you write something down for each prompt, so that you can track your insights and, eventually, your progress.
Try and initially make a self-love journaling commitment. What I mean by this is, once you start self-love journaling, you might want to do it all of the time. But for starters, commit to seven, 10 or 30 days. No matter what else is happening in your world, stick with it doing it every single day of your designated time. Sometimes it will be a great stress release. Some days, you will find yourself excited to write an entry. Other days, you might prefer to go to the dentist for a root canal if writing about yourself if super challenging. Yet trust me—the more you get used to loving on yourself in this fashion, the more self-love journaling will become about as natural as bathing or breathing even.
Why Self-Journaling Is the Ultimate Emotional Self-Care Exercise
Belgian fashion designer Diane Von Furstenberg (who just happens to be credited for the wrap dress), once said something that I really like and can personally vouch for—"When a woman becomes her own best friend, life is easier." Lord, y'all, mere words cannot even begin to express, how much unnecessary-ness we could avoid if we simply loved ourselves more and better. By making the time to self-love journal, you'll be amazed by all of the things that you'll learn, relearn and also release in the process.
Back when I was prayer journaling (something we'll have to tackle at another time), the more spiritual revelation that I received, the stronger in my purpose I became. And the times when I've self-love journaled, it has actually helped me to get clarity on a relationship, create boundaries with certain people in my life, set aside money to pamper myself, actually implement self-celebration rituals (oh, I'm good for toasting myself!) and, not just set standards but raise them, both personally as well as professionally.
That's why I say that self-love journaling is the ultimate emotional self-care exercise, and yes, Ms. Von Furstenberg is spot-on. The more you love you, the more you end up liking yourself. And the more you like yourself, the more you only want to be around those who feel the same way about you as you do.
I really could go on and on about self-love journaling because that's just how dope it is. For now, I hope I've provided you with, at least enough reason, to purchase a journal and give it a shot. After all, how can you lose when you're actively doing something that helps you to love yourself more? My thoughts exactly.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
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