It's been weeks since the election results have come in, and the resounding response of millions of Black women all over the country has been unequivocal: America, you're on your own. Exit polls showed that 92% of Black women voted for Kamala Harris, an even higher number than those who voted for Joe Biden in 2020.
It's clear that we showed up when it mattered most. But are we surprised? We always do our part; the rest of this country didn’t do theirs, and it’s not up to us to save y’all this time.
Yet, as the shadow of a Trump inauguration looms, Black women, myself included, have taken to social media to declare that whatever happens next, we won't be the leaders of any movements or causes because we did our part; it's time for the rest of America to do what our ancestors have done since the moment we were brought to this country - work.
Why Rest Is Needed
Black women are proclaiming the next four years as a time of rest and deep self-preservation, a contrast to the resilience we've demonstrated time and time again for the sake of the greater good and during this election process.
Our strength was evident in the monumental Win With Black Women Zoom call that saw over 44,000 (including myself and my mama) participants rally to raise more than 1.5 million dollars for Harris's campaign and in the endorsements from powerful figures like Oprah Winfrey, Angela Bassett, Kerry Washington, Viola Davis, and Beyoncé.
We showed up and showed out to win this election (like we did for Obama and Joe Biden) and still—we lost. So what's next? According to the sentiments of thousands of Black women online - we do what our mamas and grandmas used to do when we didn’t want to eat what they cooked for dinner: let them fend for themselves.
Our needs should be the first priority, and this election process has been traumatizing enough. The racial rhetoric that we’ve endured surrounding Kamala Harris and the questions of her race, qualifications, and overall worthiness have made it very clear that this country continues to not see us as good enough.
So let them navigate the next four years without us. By taking care of ourselves, we affirm our importance and contribute to our own resilience - leaving a legacy of radical self-care for the Black girls of today and the future to know that at this time in our nation's history, we took a unified stand of rest.
How Chronic Stress Impacts Black Women Differently
Studies have shown that chronic stress biologically ages Black women faster than white women in a process called weathering. The term was coined by Dr. Arline T. Geronimus, a public health researcher during her time at Princeton University in 1992 and in her book titled Weathering. Her findings show how marginalized communities are at a higher risk of the chronic stress that comes from living in a racist society.
Additionally, 2021 research on race-related stress shows that not only are Black women exposed to higher levels of chronic stress, but it can also affect our central nervous system, cognition and learning, immune system functions, cardiovascular systems, gastrointestinal complications, and overall mortality.
Speaking with experts regarding Black women's stance post-election, trauma therapist Ashley McGirt-Adair suggests that right now, she doesn’t recommend Black women do anything outside of rest. "During this time, Black women should embrace rest without guilt, engage in joyful activities, practice mindfulness and community care, celebrate your strengths, seek professional support, and lastly, play music and dance." She places emphasis on dance most of all, as our music and movement has long been a way to connect and embrace the joy that is our birthright.
McGirt-Adair also points to the women of the Black Panther Party, whose embodiment of joy and Black pride fueled their resilience. "When I watch videos of the Black Panther Party, I see their fists held high. Afros. All black and enjoying each other's Blackness. Too often, we equate Blackness with oppression, but it's joy, and that is what I think we should be doing. Resting and experiencing joy."
And as joy is our birthright, so is the right to push back against the idea that Black women exist to serve. Chronic stress wreaks havoc on our bodies, leading to serious health risks like hypertension and heart disease. Andrea Dalzell, RN, eloquently states, along with the knowledge that rest is a form of resistance, a nod to Tricia Hersey’s teachings through The Nap Ministry and her novel Rest is Resistance. “By prioritizing rest, Black women can continue leading, advocating, and uplifting from a place of resilience rather than depletion,” Dalzell says.
As Jasmine Johnson, an exercise psychologist and yoga instructor, emphasizes, rest is a fundamental need for survival, not just an option. It's a necessity, and we must reinforce within our community that it's perfectly acceptable to take a step back. "We can take our crowns off and rest," she urges, reminding us that attending to our well-being is paramount.
In this moment in history, whether you are, in the words of our illustrious Vice President Kamala Harris, rolling up your sleeves, or you’re taking the stance of rest is resistance, know that you deserve to prioritize yourself. Not just today, but every single day that matters because your life and overall wellness quite literally depend on it. We have been the backbone of movements and change, and now it's time to care for our minds, bodies, and spirits.
By prioritizing our needs, we can chart a new path forward to ensure rest is our birthright, and when (and if) we so choose to ready ourselves to lead the charge when the call comes again.
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Entertaining Like Ayesha Curry: Expert Advice For Holidays Done Right
Be prepared to wow the crowd.
It’s officially the holiday season, which means parties and gatherings galore. Between Friendsgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve celebrations, many of us are preparing to host loved ones in our homes one or two times between now and the end of the year. No matter the occasion or season, hosting for family and friends is a labor of love. But we can also agree that entertaining can be overwhelming, especially for first-time hosts.
As a seasoned host and entertainer, Ayesha Curry knows something about creating a memorable event for loved ones. Whether preparing for an intimate dinner with your immediate family or hosting a larger crowd, your guests will think you are a pro this holiday season with her tips on everything from welcoming guests to setting a beautiful table.
Q: What is your top tip for hosting?
Ayesha Curry:Part of being a great host is spending time with your guests, which means you can’t be stuck in the kitchen. Prep is key! I usually serve wine with the meal, but a cocktail or mocktail is a great way to greet guests. I prep the garnish the night before and batch the drink just before guests arrive. When the party begins, I pull everything out of the fridge and am ready to serve.
Writer Note: If you would like to offer non-alcoholic beverages for your sober or sober-curious guests, I love Saint Viviana Cab. It maintains full-body cabernet and flavor; no one will ever guess it’s alcohol-free. You can easily create a signature mocktail using Bittermilk’s Smoked Honey Whiskey Sour mix.
Q: Do you suggest any prep for serving or cooking?
AC:I lay out all my serving dishes and utensils the night before with little post-it notes saying what goes where. That way, I’m not digging around for anything. For more elaborate menus, I lay out quarter sheet pans and label them with tape according to the dish. I prep and measure everything for each recipe and then load each sheet pan with everything needed to make the dish. I wrap each tray in saran or foil, stack them, and place them in the fridge. Pull out the sheet pan you need when cooking, and everything is ready. It’s something I learned at the restaurant that saves so much time.
Q: What’s one item that should always be on a dinner party menu?
AC: Bread or roll with butter is excellent for holding guests over if the kitchen is delayed.
Q: What’s one non-menu item you should always have on hand?
AC: For a non-menu item, wine!
Q: How do you decide on a theme or menu for a gathering?
AC: It all starts with the occasion and the guest list. If it’s a group that doesn’t know each other very well, I may get more elaborate with the theme to help break the ice. For a group of friends or family who don’t get to see each other very often, I usually keep it simple so the evening can be all about catching up. A great playlist, good wine, and a family-style menu are all you need.
Q: Should attendees be expected to bring a gift?
AC: If I’m hosting, I’m not expecting gifts. The gift is taking time to come over and enjoy a meal with me! But bringing something to enjoy at the gathering, like a bottle of wine, is always appreciated.
Q: What are three affordable gifts that guests can give a host?
AC:A bag of excellent coffee is a beautiful gift for a host. Sweet July’s House Blend Coffee is sourced from all-female co-ops, so it’s a gift I love to give to the women in my life. Whether it’s being served after dinner or just for the host to enjoy on their own, you can’t go wrong with a bag of high-end coffee.
Fresh flowers are great if you have a host who likes total control over the food and beverage menu. Go for something neutral in color that can work with any décor.
The Sweet July Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar set is my go-to host gift. Bottled in Napa, it’s a gift any foodie will appreciate - and use!
Q: What are some creative tablescape or decor ideas that you love?
AC: I like to keep my dinnerware neutral and classic (like this ceramic collection in nutmeg) and infuse color and texture through linens. For centerpieces, I want to use what I have in my yard. If it’s summer, it might be flowers or greenery, but interesting branches can also look architectural in tall, clear vases next to tapered candles in the colder months. There’s no need to spend a ton of money on flowers.
With Ayesha’s tips, you can create a holiday gathering that your family and friends will cherish forever.
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