
What if we told you things like chronic pain, brain fog, emotional bluntness, hypervigilance, anxiety, immune system dysfunction, trouble sleeping and relaxing, and feelings of being overwhelmed and hopelessness are all signs of an overactive nervous system? Would it make you take another look at the amount of stress in your life and how you’re going about minimizing said stress?
Well, it should.
Stress is how our bodies respond to pressure, and those same bodies have developed a sophisticated system to cope with it. That sophisticated system is the nervous system. But with all of the stress thrown at us through our work, our relationships, and our lives, it can be easy to understand why stress has become the default setting for so many.
The problem with making stress your default is that your chances of having an overworked nervous system increase. Your body could also enter a state of chronic stress, leading to an overactive “fight or flight” response. Nervous system dysregulation occurs when this response becomes chronic or fails to shut off after the perceived threat is gone and can lead to the body believing it’s in a state of danger at all times.
While the stress response is essential for survival, it's not meant to be active all the time, and an overactive one can lead to various health issues. Stress isn’t called a “silent killer” for nothing. This is due to the influx of stress hormones and high cortisol levels that cause the eventual disruption of major bodily processes and make you more susceptible to depression and anxiety, among other health problems.
Leading a truly healthy lifestyle is the difference between an overworked nervous system and a calm nervous system. The latter is a crucial aspect of maintaining overall well-being, and it can positively impact your healing and wellness journey because you can’t really heal in a body that’s chronically stressed. As “the father of mindfulness,” Thích Nhất Hạnh once said, “Stopping, calming, and resting are preconditions for healing.”
A calm nervous system can be achieved through resetting your nervous system, just follow the practices below consistently with care.
How To Reset & Heal Your Nervous System
1.Breathe Deep
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Deep breaths can work wonders in a stressful situation. Spend a few minutes each day focusing on your breath, practicing mindfulness, and calming your mind. The reason deep breathing is such a powerful tool to usher in calm is that it activates the other part of your nervous system, the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).
Unlike your SNS and its stress hormone-filled “fight or flight” response, the PNS functions in a way that is opposite but complementary to the SNS and is responsible for “rest and digest,” a response that occurs when the body is at rest. Deep breathing techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing, box breathing, and alternate nose breathing, can also help reduce stress. As an added bonus, it’s also one of the quickest ways to calm an activated nervous system.
2.Embrace the Chill of Cold Therapy
So, what's up with cold therapy? Well, it all starts with the body's response to cold exposure. Cold exposure also helps reduce the production of stress hormones like cortisol, helping the nervous system relax. Its benefits also include reducing inflammation, improving sleep, and enhancing your mood, among other things. One of the most popular forms of cold therapy is ice baths.
The rush of sensations the body feels, along with the calming effects it creates as you adjust to the exposure to the cold, is just one of the reasons those who avidly partake in ice baths turn it into a mindfulness practice. That and the way cold therapy supports a calm nervous system. Cryotherapy is a more accessible, less immersive form of cold therapy that gives you all the benefits in a fraction of time and energy.
Whether you opt for an ice bath, cryotherapy, or simply a refreshing cold shower, cold therapy is a cool (pun intended) way to quiet an activated nervous system.
3.Forest Bathe in Nature or Go on a Hike
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Immerse yourself in the sights, scents, and sounds of nature through the act of forest bathing. Forest bathing encourages you to be fully present in the moment. The idea is to slow down, be present, and truly experience the forest. Instead of worrying about the past or future, you're focused on the rustling leaves, the scent of pine needles, and the feel of the earth beneath your feet. This mindfulness helps reset your nervous system and reduces anxiety.
Disconnect from technology and reconnect to the world around you. As you walk, engage your senses. Notice the colors, textures, and scents around you. Listen to the sounds of birds, leaves rustling, and water flowing. Inhale the pure forest air. Remember that nature is magic. Bathe in the calming magic of the forest’s tranquility.
4.Ground Yourself
Grounding, also known as earthing, is a simple yet powerful practice that involves connecting with the Earth's energy. Grounding involves physically touching the Earth's surface - think walking barefoot on grass, soil, or sand. When you do this, your body absorbs electrons from the Earth, which can help neutralize free radicals and reduce inflammation. This electron exchange has been shown to have a positive impact on various aspects of our health, including our nervous system.
Grounding has been found to reduce the production of stress hormones like cortisol. Start your day with your bare feet on the ground in your backyard, the woods, a park, or a garden. Remember, grounding doesn't require any special equipment or a specific location. It's all about being present and feeling the Earth beneath you.
5.Eat Your Omega-3s
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Fatty fish like salmon, mackerel, tuna, and sardines are fantastic sources of Omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3s have been shown to reduce inflammation in the body, which is often linked to anxiety and stress. Omega-3 fatty acids also have a central role in nervous system development as well as its repair.
So, swap your peanut butter out with some walnut butter, sprinkle flaxseeds onto your salads, or add chia seeds to your yogurt or morning smoothie – your taste buds and your nervous system will thank you.
6.Tap Into Emotional Freedom with EFT Tapping
EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques, and it's often referred to as "tapping." This technique combines ancient Chinese acupressure with modern psychology to help you release emotional stress, calm your nervous system, and promote overall well-being. It's like a magical blend of science and self-care.
So, how does it work? Well, it's surprisingly simple. You use your fingertips to tap on specific points on your body while focusing on a particular issue or emotion that's bothering you. These points are along meridian lines, which are pathways of energy that have been used in Traditional Chinese Medicine for centuries.
When you tap on these energy points, you're sending calming signals to your brain. It's like giving your amygdala (the brain's fear center) a gentle reminder that you're safe and sound. This reduces the production of stress hormones like cortisol and activates your body's relaxation response.
7.Book That Massage
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Massages stimulate the release of feel-good hormones like serotonin and dopamine while reducing the levels of the stress hormone cortisol. This hormonal shift leads to lowered anxiety and an overall sense of well-being. Massages stimulate your PNS. Your “rest and digest” response takes over, and your mind and body are transported to a place of balanced calm.
Beyond the immediate relaxation, regular massages can have profound long-term effects on your nervous system. They can improve your sleep quality, boost your immune system, and even help manage chronic pain conditions. Try to have one at least once a month to see the best results.
8.Exercise, But Make It Gentle
Incorporating gentle exercise into your daily routine can be a game-changer to soothe your nervous system, helping you achieve that sense of calm and balance you're aiming for. Gentle exercise acts as a natural stress reliever. It reduces the production of stress hormones like cortisol, making you feel more relaxed.
Gentle exercise looks like low-intensity exercises. Think yoga, stretching, Tai Chi, and Qigong that don't require a huge time commitment. A quick morning yoga session or an evening stroll can do wonders for your nervous system.
9.Sing & Chant
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Singing and chanting are wonderful practices that can have a soothing and calming effect on your nervous system. It's a therapeutic tool for anyone seeking relaxation. When you sing, you engage various muscles, including those in your diaphragm and abdomen. This deep breathing is similar to the controlled breaths of yoga or other forms of breathwork, instantly signaling your nervous system to calm down.
Chanting is like a rhythmic meditation that combines sound, breath, and intention. It has been practiced for centuries in various cultures and spiritual traditions, including Buddhism and Hinduism.
10. Connect With Your Community
Our brains are wired for connection, no matter where you are in the world. When we interact with others in meaningful ways, our ability to recover from depression, anxiety, and stress improves, and so does our quality of life. The journey toward a calm nervous system is intertwined with the power of social connections.
Opting for in-person meetups over lengthy texts or calls for at least one person in your friend group once or twice a month could be an effective way to prioritize social connection. So, don't hesitate to nurture those relationships, cultivate connections with new people, and share some laughter with your loved ones. It's all part of the recipe for inner peace and well-being.
One of the most famous chants is the "Om" mantra. When you chant "Om," you're not just making a sound; you're tapping into a universal vibration. This resonance can help synchronize your brain's hemispheres, leading to a sense of inner harmony and relaxation. It's like a reset button for your mind and body.
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Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Successful Black Women Share Real Networking Tips That Actually Work
Networking can be enjoyable or a total cringe-fest, especially in a post-pandemic world of hybrid-remote confusion. It can seem challenging to really connect with people when they've either opted to work from home for good or they're reluctantly dragging themselves into the office two days a week wishing they could work from home.
Also, virtual networking has its own awkward and sometimes downright unappealing moments. I mean, how do you really get to know someone who's probably multitasking five other things while on the call with you, had little desire to turn their camera on, and is possibly not even wearing pants? It seems like everyone is juggling a lot and simply trying to survive, not focused on making new friends, work besties, or business partners.
Well, don't let the pessimism set in just yet. There are still many people out there who are open to new connections (or at least continuing to cultivate and build on old ones). And there is still value in authentic networking where you're able to not only find kindred industry spirits to chat about everyday issues you face at work, but destiny helpers who are divinely placed in your life for the most positive and fabulous life advancement you've ever seen.
Get inspired by these real-life stories of women professionals and entrepreneurs who have witnessed, firsthand, the power of true connection through networking:
Dr. Amber L. Wright, Keynote Speaker & Executive Coach, Words Well Said
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On the true key to networking that actually works: "Focusing on building relationships versus transactions is also important for creating meaningful connections and expanding your network."
On a networking experience that led to results: "While attending a conference, I met a woman who did a fantastic job as a panel moderator. She had a great stage presence and was dressed impeccably. After the panel, I approached her to say hello and offer my compliments on how well she did. She thanked me for the kind words and we struck up a conversation, ending with the proverbial promise to keep in touch."
"We both kept that promise and stayed in touch via social media. That eventually led to offline conversations, resulting in us sharing opportunities to advance both of our businesses."
"She is now the CEO of a leadership development firm and in partnering with her, I have experienced significant financial growth in my business as a keynote speaker and executive coach. That one interaction all of those years ago has resulted in one of my most rewarding personal and professional relationships!"
On a one-on-one networking experience that built impact: "I had a virtual co-working session with someone I didn’t know (via a co-working app), that resulted in us sharing a bit about what we do and connecting on LinkedIn. Months later, she randomly tagged me in a call for speakers, which led to me being hired as the opening keynote speaker for that conference."
Dontaira Terrell, Journalist & Publisher, The Buckeye Review
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On proactivity despite rejection: “My initial story pitches were unsuccessful, but I maintained a strong relationship with my former colleague. I consistently shared updates and offered support, cultivating a valuable connection."
This proactive approach unexpectedly led to an opportunity when a legacy brand needed management assistance for its annual premiere event.
On dynamic results: "She immediately recommended me for the position, and within a week, I was collaborating with their executive team, successfully bringing their high-profile event to life.”
How To Make Real Connections Through Networking In 2025
Today's networking, especially in an environment where millions of professionals are working remote or hybrid, it's all about authenticity, collaboration, and service. Oftentimes, opportunities come through people who simply like one another and have things in common. People like to work with people who are not only performers but who are a joy to know and work with.
Posting consistently on LinkedIn, actively engaging by sharing relevant information and opportunities, and responding to comments are great ways to break the ice and meet new high-achieving professionals. Also, practicing networking with smaller groups via meet-ups, happy hours and brunches is still valuable versus only focusing your time and money on larger conferences or work-mandated experiences.
And don't wait until you need something (like a new job after a sudden job loss or a source of investment for a new project). Be proactive and get into the practice of cultivating relationships whether you see an immediate return on investment or not.
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