When I was younger I always thought everything in life would get easier with age because I'd have complete control of my life. Being underage meant my choices were limited when it came to making decisions. I always felt I fell into things rather than picked them especially when it came to friendships. As I got older I thought building friendships would be just as easy as it had been but better because I'd be making a decision based on shared interests instead of location. Personally, that wasn't the case for me at all when it came to making friends as an adult.
The truth about making friends as an adult is that it can be disappointing if you don't have the right mindset.
From grade school through college, finding your crew and becoming instant best friends was easy, but those were simpler times. Although there are plenty of apps and websites that make it easier to make friends as we get older, forging and maintaining friendships will take a little more effort. After I made a cross-country move, I knew I had to put myself out there if I wanted to make my new city my home.
If you're on the market for new friends because of a move or just want to expand your circle of influence, keep these three lessons I've learned in mind:
Be Cautious
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Although you get wiser with age, "stranger danger" doesn't just apply to children. Unlike school, your future friends haven't been vetted by the admissions office. On apps that connect you directly with other people looking for friendships, the proposed meeting place is usually in a bar or club, so be careful.
When I first heard of Bumble BFF, I was excited to try it but I quickly decided it wasn't for me. With girls that I had great conversations with, I nor the other person would ever suggest meeting up. I realized unless I was open to friend dates, the app was pointless, so I began considering taking the leap until something in my gut changed my mind.
The people who were immediately open and persistent about hanging out always had a similar story: They were solo-traveling women who were only in town for one day and wanted a partner to go clubbing with. It could've just been anxiety clouding my judgment but something about that always seemed off to me. Even though going out for drinks sounds fun, I joined the platform for long-term friends so it didn't seem worth the risk.
Many people have made lifelong friends on the app so I still suggest others give it a try despite my experience. Just be smart and trust your instincts!
Remain Open-Minded
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Apps like MeetUp that allow you to join social groups and clubs are a great no-pressure way to meet new people. After setting up an account, you can browse hobbies and groups that pique your interest.
Don't immediately filter your search results. Try doing something outside of your comfort zone or that you've been meaning to do.
For years, joining a gym has been on my to-do list but after a while, getting in shape wasn't enough of an incentive to keep me going. I found a jogging group in my area on the app that meets up a few times a week in the morning and evenings. I didn't initially love the idea of exercising outside but the sense of community from the group kept me motivated.
Staying open-minded doesn't just apply to your interests but where you're open to meeting friends. I met one of my best friends at my first job in Los Angeles. At work, I had a tendency to be introverted and preferred to keep my personal and private life separate, but ditching that rule proved extremely beneficial for me.
Don't Force It
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It's great to get out of your comfort zone but there's nothing wrong with stepping back inside of it. If you feel out of your element or lonely, you might stay in unpleasant situations for longer than necessary.
I've never been much of an athlete but a friend from home recommended amateur sports teams as a way to socialize. I joined a soccer league and although the people were fun, I was absolutely terrible at it and didn't have much in common with them except our love of after-game drinks. I quickly realized amateur players may have less patience for beginners than the pros so despite wanting to fit in, I knew it wasn't going to work out.
Thankfully, I found options that were more my speed. It didn't matter whether I joined Meetup, Bumble BFF, a book club, meditation group, or an amateur sports league. I know that the most important contributing factor to finding my core group of friends here was not an app, but a great mindset.
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RELATED
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
We Are/Getty ImagesMay 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTaurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAllow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
As someone who had a natural six-pack for years (upon years), I definitely had to do some research to learn the difference between belly fat, what is known as a menopause belly (check out “'Menopause Belly' Actually Is A Real Thing. Here's How To Handle It.”) and what we are going to tackle today: bloating.
Since I’m not the biggest water fan in the world, I’ve discovered that whenever I have more of a bulge than I would like, most of it has to do with what I drink more than probably anything else — yet I’m getting a wee bit ahead of myself.
If, like me, you want a tighter tummy, and so you want to figure out what is standing in your way, here is why it could be all about the “bloat” — and what you can do about it if that is indeed the case.
What Does It Mean When You’re Bloated?
GiphyLet’s start with what it even means to feel or be bloated. If your stomach happens to feel full, tight or like there’s some pressure going on, there is a good chance that you’re bloated — how it feels can range from mildly uncomfortable to straight up painful, and how it looks can range from a barely there bulge to almost looking like you are pregnant.
As far as what causes bloating, there are several things. Intestinal gas can cause bloating. Hormonal fluctuations can cause bloating (which is why it’s not uncommon to be bloated right before your period). Being constipated can lead to bloating. Stomach inflammation, certain types of infections, and even cancer can cause bloating.
However, one of the biggest bloating culprits is food — sometimes it’s the type of food that you consume, other times it’s because you are eating something that you low-key have an intolerance to, or it can even be because you are eating (or drinking) something too fast.
The main things to keep in mind when it comes to bloating are if it’s hormonal or diet-related, things should subside in a few hours or days at the most. If you’re bloated due to constipation, things probably won’t change until you’ve had a few full (meaning complete) bowel movements. Do keep in mind that if your bloating doesn’t seem to go away, and you’re especially not feeling well to boot, you should see your doctor, just to make sure that there aren’t any underlying health issues going on.
What’s the Difference Between Bloating and Belly Fat?
GiphyOkay, but how can you know if your tummy is “rounded out” due to bloating or actual weight gain? Good question. The most important thing to remember here is that, more times than not, bloating is a temporary issue, while fat that accumulates around your abdominal region is not. That said, it’s important to also keep in mind that when your body is merely bloated, you’re probably only going to notice a change in your tummy (as opposed to weight gain being something that transpires all over your body).
Some other things to take note of when it comes to bloating vs. belly fat are that bloating will feel tight, while fat will feel soft. Not only that, but bloating typically comes with some level of discomfort, which isn’t usually the case with abdominal fat (unless you’re dealing with excessive visceral fat or you’ve got some other health-related issues that are transpiring as a direct result of the weight gain).
5 Foods That Cause Bloating
GiphyAight, so remember how I mentioned earlier that a main cause of bloating tends to be gas, most specifically, intestinal gas? That’s because when the bacteria that is in your gut are trying to break down certain foods (like carbs), that process is called fermentation. When too much of that is going on, it can create gas, which can cause bloating.
And what are some of the foods that can “trigger” this?
1. Cruciferous vegetables. Foods like broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower all fall into the cruciferous category. The reason why they can lead to bloating is that they contain a sugar known as raffinose that our bodies actually don’t have the enzymes to naturally digest. As a direct result, these foods bypass your small intestines in order to be processed in your large intestine, which can ultimately lead to gas and bloating.
2. Garlic and onions. I’m putting these two in the same category, simply because they tend to be two foods that are used to bring flavor to meals. While I can personally rock with garlic pretty well, something that my body is absolutely not interested in is an onion. And yes, both of these can also lead to bloating because they contain sugar carbohydrates known as fructans, which can also lead to gas and bloating (especially if you have a fructan intolerance, which consists of symptoms like burping, constipation, and passing gas).
3. Carbonated drinks. This is where I get jacked up. Since plain water bores me to tears, I tend to drink a lot of sparkling water, and drinks that are carbonated tend to be infused with carbon dioxide gas, and gas, as you already know, can definitely lead to bloating. I am a witness.
4. Dairy. Right out the gate, most of the people who are bloated from consuming dairy are because they are lactose intolerant. Thing about that is, close to 70 percent of folks fall into that category — whether they realize it or not. And what causes the intolerance? Well, there are sugars and cholesterol in dairy products that make it hard for you to fully digest your food. Besides, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times over: humans are the only ones who seem to consume other baby mammals’ milk. Perhaps therein lies the real issue/problem. #Elmoshrug
5. Apples. It might surprise you to see this fruit on the list. The backstory is that the combination of fructose and fiber that’s in apples could lead to a longer fermentation period in your intestines, and that is what might cause bloating whenever you eat them.
5 Things That You Can Do to Prevent Bloating (Beforehand)
GiphyThose five things that I just listed? That’s actually the tip of the iceberg when it comes to foods that can bring about a bloating spell (you can learn about more of ‘em here and here). And if those alone have you wondering if you can ever enjoy some of your favorite foods again, for the most part, the answer is “yes” — just make sure that you are intentional about incorporating the following five avoid-the-bloat tips.
1. Take a food allergy test. Just like many people have an intolerance to lactose and don’t know it, the same goes for food allergies. In fact, it’s been reported that somewhere around 33 million individuals are allergic to at least one food, and a symptom of that might be bloating. So, if bloating is something that you are constantly dealing with, taking a food allergy/sensitivity test is a really good idea.
2. Eat slowly. If it wasn’t your mom, it was probably your grandmother who told you that you should chew each bite of your food no less than 10-15 times before swallowing. While some reports say that it should actually be somewhere around 32 times, something else that you might want to keep in mind is that you should also wait before taking another bite. How long? Well, some medical experts say that if you’re basically going to swallow your bites of food whole, you should wait a whole ‘nother five minutes before eating some more. Oh, and try to talk and even drink less while you’re eating. Talking brings more air into your digestive system, and drinking can sometimes “confuse” the digestion process.
3. Consume less fatty foods. You’ve probably heard somewhere that trans and saturated fats can raise your cholesterol levels; however, did you know that they might cause bloating too? That’s because high-fat foods tend to slow down the digestion process, which could cause bloating and indigestion in the process.
4. Do some mild exercise after you eat. If you’re someone who enjoys taking a stroll after you eat, keep on doing that. Research reveals that when you participate in a mild form of exercise after eating, that can help to get gas out of your body, so that you don’t end up becoming bloated.
5. Chew less gum. After all that we’ve already discussed, I’m pretty sure that this point makes all the sense in the world. Chewing gum causes you to take air into your system, and the more air that’s in your body, the more likely you are to end up feeling bloated.
5 Hacks for Getting Rid of Bloating
GiphyAnd what if it’s too late? The bloating has already made an appearance, and you’re looking for some much-needed relief. While there are over-the-counter meds that you can take, there are other approaches that are (pretty much) just as effective.
1. Take a probiotic. Although it is indeed true that when you first take a probiotic (especially if you take one with tons of different strains of bacteria in it), that can lead to bloating, once your body gets used to them being in your system, they can actually significantly improve your digestive process which can decrease your bloating instances too.
2. Limit your salt intake. A part of the reason why you tend to notice bloating when you’re PMS’ing or when you’re on your cycle is because the hormonal changes that you’re going through can cause water retention. Something else that causes water retention? Yep. Salt. So, if eating a lot of it is totally your thing and you know that you’ve got some bloating going on, there’s a pretty good chance that there is a direct correlation between the two. #sorry
3. Drink herbal tea. If you’re currently bloated, something that can help to immediately soothe your stomach is herbal tea — more specifically, ginger, peppermint and chamomile teas. The properties in all of these will help to ease the digestive process while reducing bloating and discomfort in the process.
4. Apply some heat. Just like the heat from warm tea can help your tummy to feel better and reduce the appearance of bloating, so can a heating pad. The reason why is that heat can help to relax your abdominal muscles, so that your food can be digested faster and more effectively.
5. Give yourself a massage. And lastly, how about an abdominal massage? Whether you need to get rid of some discomfort or remove some of the air that is causing the bloating to be apparent, applying pressure to your abdominal region can help with both of these issues. For tips on how to give yourself a highly beneficial abdominal massage, check out this video here.
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A bloated stomach is something that none of us really wants. Thankfully, there are some fairly simple things that you can do to reduce the bloat, so that you can get your tummy back on track. And how awesome is that?
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