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It was December of 2009 that I made an impromptu decision to cut my permed hair off. My reason for making that drastic change was due to ending a dating relationship at the time and the painful experience I went through from relaxing my hair in my dorm a couple of months prior. Cutting my hair immediately left me feeling bold yet boy-ish whenever I found myself dressing down or not wearing lavish earrings. After several months experimenting with wearing twist-outs, dyeing it myself (I was extra bold with that) and even getting my first blowout (that later resulted in heat damage), I thought I'd been hiding my beautiful kinks due to laziness.

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In the past several months, self-care has been painted as a luxurious act that is often earned but in reality, it must be everyone's norm. You should not and do not need to earn self-care because every day should entail the care of self. Unfortunately, that is not always the case for many women due to scheduling conflicts, work, friendships/relationships, family, and additional obligations.

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Dating today can feel like a boxing match. You start the fight filled with energy and excitement but once you get in the ring and endure that heavy hit, your energy is drastically depleted. That is how dating is often experienced in many women's lives. I believe one of the reasons why dating has become so difficult is because many people do not date with boundaries. As a result, many individuals stay in dating relationships that should have long expired.

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