Practical Ways To Practice Self-Care While Living Single
I'd like to think I'm very comfortable in my singleness, I'll never forget a text a friend sent me this past Valentine's Day: "Thank you for being an example of what self-love is." I was so good by myself until COVID-19 hit, and now I'm just like everyone else wondering where my Rona bae is. TV shows make single life look so carefree, and to some extent, it is - but for every day we're able to book a last-minute flight, there's a night where you're sick and the only person bringing you soup is Uber Eats.
Don't get me wrong, I love the freedom the single life provides - but right about now, matching pajamas and corny TikTok videos ain't looking too shabby. In a matter of days, Rona has made everyday life, uncomfortable AF. And while there's so much self-help for couples who want to keep date nights spicy, and parents who've become teachers overnight - what about us? So, if you're struggling between playing Megan Thee Stallion or Jhene Aiko, use these tips to cope with COVID before you get in your feelings.
1.Own the happiness and loneliness single life brings.
I recently listened to a live episode of Oprah'sSuperSoul Conversations with Tracee Ellis Ross, where the Pattern Beauty founder spoke about making space for all the emotions single life provides.
"I can feel scared that I'm gonna be lonely and also ask myself, 'Well, don't you like being alone?'"
Keeping space for both truths allows you to live an honest life - when it feels good, and when it doesn't.
2.Plan a date night with yourself indoors.
Honestly, solo dates need to become just as normal as date nights for couples. Get cute for yourself, sis! Run a bath, put on what makes you feel the sexiest, grab some wine, and watch something that makes you laugh, hard. It might not sound like much, but you'd be surprised how those small choices can change the course of your coming week. Last night, I watched Lena Waithe's Twenties in my favorite bodysuit, and I woke up this morning, ready to go for my goals and leave my favorite 90's playlist on repeat all day.
3.Check on your other single friends; chances are they're struggling too.
Singleness can often result in many of us, living very selfish lives (it's not our fault, 80 percent of the time it's just us.) Last week I was feeling alone, so I called a friend who's newly single to catch up. Minutes in, I found out she was pregnant, switching jobs, and moving during the pandemic. Naturally, I switched gears, ready to put on strong friend hat, but to my surprise, she held space for me too. She told me it was OK to be sad, and that she was proud of me for leaving a past relationship. That conversation reminded me that even when I feel alone, I have a community of women ready to hold me down, too - no matter what.
4.Be patient with yourself.
The lot of us were already dealing with everyday issues, and then Rona came adding more stress. Collectively, I don't think we've given each other the space to feel however we need to right now. So if you wake up and have the energy to work on that side hustle, do it - but if all you have room for is your 9 to 5 via Zoom, and reheating leftovers, that's OK too. Whether we realize it or not, our mental health can be impacted by staying indoors for so long, give yourself room to just be.
5.Get a virtual happy hour going.
Thanks to the liquor store being named an essential business, my girls and I have been hanging whether we can link up IRL, or not. I was curious if a virtual happy hour would feel the same, but three hours later, I felt just as connected to my crew as I do on our girls' night out.
Ultimately we don't know how long we'll be inside, but while we're here, let's be extra kind to each other. Check on your group chat, call your mom, watch your favorite movie as many times as you need to. And when you go to get essentials, make sure you fly sis - your Quarantine ting might be waiting for you in the aisle re-upping on his favorite snacks.
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Featured image via Shutterstock
Originally published on April 12, 2020
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy