10 Bona Fide Benefits Of Being Single
Not too long ago, I was having a conversation with a newlywed wife who I could totally tell is still in the honeymoon stage of her relationship. Her eyes were beaming, her man's name came up every third sentence and, when she grabbed my hand to say grace with her, she made a point to rub my ring finger. Then, with a completely-non-patronizing-but-still-kind-of-awkward way, she looked at me and said, "Shellie, we've got to find you someone."
I'm not sure if by "we", she meant her and her man or her and the Lord but either way, I'm good. Not that defensive kind of good that I've seen single women throw out into the atmosphere that almost comes off as resentful or bitter rather than believable. What I mean is, what I say all of the time—"Until a man can love me the way that I know I can love a man, I need to remain single." It would belittle the institution of marriage and myself (not necessarily in that order) to do otherwise.
Besides, it's not like living the single life is some sort of consolation prize or something. One of the perks of being a marriage life coach is you're able to see the good that comes with being married. At the same time, you also get to see all of the sacrifices that come with it too. And ladies, there are more than just a few of 'em. There are almost so many that I should've rubbed on my sista-friend's ring finger and "aww-ed" her right on back.
It was that meal that inspired this piece. So, if you're a single woman—especially if you're a single woman who really wants to be married—please take a moment to at least skim through all of the reasons why you should not only tolerate your relational status but do a little dance right where you're standing.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. But girrrrrl, so is being single. Why do I say that? Read on.
1. Your Bed Is All Yours
One of my girlfriends is hilarious. Although she has a heart of gold, she isn't big on physical affection. Meanwhile, she married the kind of guy who can't even sit on the couch without making sure that one of his limbs is draped all over her. When I was talking to her about penning this, one of the things she said was, "I love my husband. But I'd kill for us to spend at least three nights a week in separate beds. We can't agree on the temperature, plus he sweats a lot and then has hurt feelings if I don't want to cuddle all throughout the night."
If you're someone who hates going to bed alone, I could see how you might be tempted to roll your eyes about her gripe. But as someone who likes to sleep right in the middle of my bed with my thermostat set to around 68 degrees and some rain ASMR playing, and as someone who wants to wake up when I feel like it and not because my hubby always wants to eat with me at the crack of dawn (which is something else my friend's husband does), I totally feel her "pain". When you're single, you can pick and choose if/when you want to share your bed. When you're married, eh, not so much. And since you vowed "until death parts us"…sharing your bed with another person is for a really, really long time.
2. You Can Still Experience Dating Firsts
While talking to the newlywed who was giving me the puppy dog eyes, one of the things she talked about is how awesome morning sex is. Le sigh. I remember those days. I don't disagree with her one bit on that tip. As she was asking me if I wanted to find a man so that I could enjoy that long-term relationship perk, my response was, "Morning sex is bomb. But one thing that I have that you don't is the opportunity for more firsts."
I wasn't implying that she won't get any more firsts ever. I mean, there's always a new city to see or even a new sexual position to try. What I was referring to is the fact that some of my favorite memories consists of relational firsts—the excitement of a first date, the thrill of a first kiss, the first time you hear "I love you." Single folks are able to still have these opportunities. Married folks—at least the faithful ones—not so much.
3. You Can Do A Lot More Things on a Whim
Something that I like about most of my married friends' relationships with their spouses is that jealousy is close to non-existent. For the most part, all of them are pretty secure in what they've got with each other, so going out with single folks like me isn't that big of a deal. The challenge is when you're married, out of courtesy for your partner, it's still important to share your plans with them. Sometimes, that plan also includes a budget. Also, sometimes their spouse already has things scheduled that conflict with what your married friend is trying to do—whether it's with you, with someone else or even alone.
Chile, do you know the complete and total freedom that comes with simply checking my bank account online and then heading right out the door? Today. Tomorrow. Next weekend. Whenever. I definitely think that one of the most underrated benefits that comes with being single is, other than your job, your time is totally your own. You can do what you want, when you want. There is nothing that needs to be run by anyone. That leaves room for so much spontaneity and total freedom.
4. Compromise Isn't Required
Something that a husband once told me about marriage is, "You never realize how selfish of a person you are until you say, 'I do'." That'll preach right there because, even when I hear a lot of married people talk about why they are about to get a divorce, there tends to be a lot of "I, I, I-ing" going on.
Sometimes, I will sit in sessions with couples who are considering getting engaged and I'm like, "For what? You two are way too self-centered for that." And while there are some perks to being the type of person who is "concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc.", when you sign up for "we", it's unfair—and a bit delusional—to approach your marriage in this way. It's simply not going to work without compromise, loads of compromise, from things like what kind of toilet paper to buy to where to go on vacation and spend the holidays.
Single people? Please. While we shouldn't be jerks about it, we can be selfish without a lot of explanation or apology. If we want or don't want to do something, there's not really that much fallout. We are our top priority (more on this point at the end), so we can make decisions with that reality in mind.
5. Opposite Sex Friendships Aren't an Issue
Something that I get asked quite a bit, especially by engaged couples, is if I think it's appropriate for married people to have friends of the opposite sex. Yes. Actually, let me give that more emphasis and say "YES!" A good opposite sex friend can offer up insight and support in ways that oftentimes go totally underestimated; especially to married folks. I think the reason why there is so much hesitancy around it is because, even some single people wonder, if it is cool to have opposite sex friendships when they are dating someone. The key is to remember that a true friend is going to respect boundaries, is going to honor your relationship and is going to do their best to make your significant other feel as comfortable as possible as well.
Unfortunately (at least from where I sit), a lot of husbands and wives don't see it this way. As a result, they don't have opposite sex friends and neither does their spouse (at least, not to their knowledge). When you're married, you have to respect this. When you're single, you can call and hang out with whoever whenever. Your friendships are your business. No "running it by someone real quick" is necessary.
6. There Is Total Financial Freedom
Another one of my friend's husband is frugal. And that's the nice word for it. He is so tight with money that he pretty much isn't going anywhere without using Groupon and, when anyone in the house goes shopping, they always need to produce a receipt. When I asked my friend if she feels like she's in a financial prison of sorts, about 80 percent of the time she doesn't, simply because, before him, her finances were in total disarray. But what she does say is she envies the fact that I am able to spend money more freely and prioritize my coins however I want to without somebody yapping a few feet away about how they feel about it.
To be fair, in the article "Sex and Finances Are Better for Married People. Don't Worry, Singles —You win Sleep", the author does share that between sharing bills and a potential double income coming into the home, that can make things less stressful for married couples. But they also flipped the coin and said that, when it comes to being single, "No one can deny your dream of weekly mani-pedis or slam the door on your meticulously decorated fan cave." I don't know about you but that's a pretty stellar perk, if you ask me.
7. You've Got More Time to Do You. And Only You.
Just think about it. If you want to get up at 3am for the next week to work on a business plan, who is going to pull on you about coming back to bed? If you want to have a spa day this weekend, who do you need to check and see if it's in the budget first? If you and your girls want to take a trip next month, does it matter if it's for a day or a long weekend? If you up and decide to go to the movies after work or to a restaurant, who do you need to make sure is cool with your timing? If you choose to up and quit your job, take money out of savings or totally change careers or move to a new state or country, who will it really affect?
Something that is so awesome about being single is you can totally focus on what makes you happy and a better person. No one else needs to understand or agree. You have the space to do you, however you want to do it. This is actually probably one of the things that married people grieve the most about leaving the single life. Whether they choose to vocalize it to others or not.
8. Emotional Stability Is Totally on You
OK, when it comes to this particular point, if you're in a healthy marriage, emotional stability should be a given. So, by no means am I saying that only single people are, well, stable. However, I can't tell you how many times that I've been on the phone with a friend or a client who was in a totally great mood. That is until their spouse sent a "Say what now?" text or their partner came into the house with some totally f'ed up energy. Then, almost immediately, it was like my friend or client was irritated, sad or totally pissed. They were fine on their own; their spouse's influence altered them.
In response to this particular point, you might say that all married people should do is learn how to master their emotions. But when you're sharing a roof, a bed and even your body with someone on a constant basis, that really can be easier said than done.
But when you're single? It is a whole lot easier to not let the influence of other people either affect or infect you. And, if it gets too hard to not take in negative energy, no problem—just remove yourself from it. Single people can shut doors and close out drama. It's harder for married folks to do this if the drama is their own partner.
9. You Get to Tolerate Less Intolerable Stuff
Your husband's meddling mother or annoying friend. His work-related events. Your husband's way of wanting to hog the remote or how he makes scrambled eggs. His like or dislike for pets when you feel the total opposite of him. Your husband's value system that may totally differ from your own. How he keeps—or doesn't keep—a bathroom. The household chores that he prefers vs. doesn't prefer. Whether your husband is a morning person or a night owl. His sexual appetite and preferences that might totally differ from your own. The little things that he does that were easier to overlook when you were dating but are like fingernails on the chalkboard now that you are married to him. These are the types of things that, once you are married, you've got to find a way to, at the very least, tolerate. Some of which just might remain that way—wait for it—for the rest of your entire life.
When you're single, none of this is a factor. And what if you're dating someone whose lifestyle doesn't complement your own? Although a lot of single people seem to forget this, one of the benefits of dating is so you can find your right fit. If the relationship isn't working out, you don't have to go through the grueling process of a divorce. The beauty that comes with where you are is, all you have to do is break-up. Yes, it might hurt, but ask any divorced person and they'll probably tell you that once everything shakes out and you come out on the other side, a break-up is still (usually) so much easier to go through.
10. You Are Your Top Priority
"Priority" is a dope word. Among other things, it means "the right to precede others in order, rank, privilege, etc.; precedence" and "something given special attention". Real talk, I believe that a lot of women who desire marriage are currently still single because they need to learn the art of making themselves their top priority. They need to stop giving some man, a man who isn't even their husband, certain privileges and super-high "rankings" in their life. They need to take all of that special attention that he's getting from them and turn around and give it to themselves instead.
We've all heard that we have to teach others how to treat us. If you don't take the opportunity of this single season of your life to show you how to be loved properly, by properly loving yourself, how can you model it to someone else?
If you make you a priority, there's a far greater chance that you will choose someone who will do the same—and you won't waste your time with the fellas who don't. Girrrl, if that ain't one of the biggest and best benefits of being single…I don't know what is!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
If You're Not In Love With Being Single, Ask Yourself These 6 Questions
I'm Not Your Relationship Goals: A Word To Single Ladies From A Married Woman
10 Reasons To Love Being 30 And Single
10 Words That'll Make You Totally Rethink The Word "Single"
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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