25 Steamy Movies & TV Shows To Watch For Your Viewing Pleasure
Looking for something that makes you throb in all the right places, sans the guilt? We've got a list for you! When it comes to the explicit shows to stream, we've realized the plot is just as important as the nudity. You need to be properly teased, seduced, and entertained if you will by the stream-worthy shows and films tantalizing you on screen. Streaming platforms like Amazon Prime, Netflix, Starz, HBO Max, and Hulu have a lot of movies and TV shows to watch, but which ones are the sexiest to watch?
Keep scrolling for TV series and films to stream that are basically porn, without sacrificing your viewing pleasure.
The Handmaiden (2016)
A South Korean film released in 2016, The Handmaiden puts the "erotic" in erotic thriller. In the film, a con man, with plans to marry a Japanese heiress to steal her fortune and have her committed, hires a pick-pocket to help him do his bidding. However, things get complicated when the "handmaiden" becomes romantically entangled with the heiress herself. Sex and seduction no doubt ensues.
Where to Watch:Amazon Prime
Premature (2019)
Summertime is the season for new love and this is portrayed poetically in this 2019 film. A love affair blooms between a music producer and a poet. The Harlem backdrop is poignant and their romance is just as hot as the actors portraying the lovebirds navigating the ups and downs of a budding relationship.
Where to Watch:Hulu
Sex/Life (2021)
Speaking of sex life, the title of this Netflix series says it all. Sex/Life follows a woman struggling with accepting her reality as a stay-at-home mom-of-two as the nostalgia of her younger years having amazing sex with a bad boy old flame come flooding back to her. Things become even trickier when her former beau returns into her present, shaking up her life and marriage with her husband. And can I just say... episode 3?? Netflix recently reported that 20 million viewers replayed it just to see Adam Demos showing us what he's working with. You've been warned.
Where to Watch: Netflix
The Voyeurs (2021)
What happens when your desire to partake in voyeurism reaches killer heights? The Voyeurs is a 2021 film that centers on a young couple played by Sydney Sweeney (Euphoria) and Justice Smith (All the Bright Places). The Amazon Original plays with the idea of peeking into another couple's sex life, the obsession and the temptation around voyeurism, and the deadly consequences that may follow.
Where to Watch:Amazon Prime
Bridgerton (2020-)
With how this cast got done in the 1800s, we couldn't not include Bridgerton as one of the entries in this list. The hit Netflix series (Shonda Rhimes' first offering in her deal with the media juggernaut) follows the elite social circle of high society members and their affairs. You'll come for Regé-Jean Page, but you'll stay for the trysts.
Where to Watch:Netflix, of course.
Run the World (2021-)
Starz has been keeping the streaming streets hot with content that is explicit but doesn't sacrifice plot for porn. Tastefully done and beautifully executed is how you can describe the sex scenes shown in the recently renewed series Run the World. The series follows four girlfriends and their love lives in Harlem as well as their friendships with each other.
Where to Watch:Starz App
Insecure (2016-)
Speaking of Black women navigating their love lives and showing that we too are sexual beings unapologetically, we'd be remiss not to include the GIF-worthy event that is Insecure. The series returns for its fifth and final season in October and we can't wait to see what Issa Rae and friends has in store for us.
Where to Watch:HBO Max, Amazon Prime
Adore (2013)
Adore is an Australian film that stars Naomi Watts and Robin Wright as two best friends who fall in love and have sexual relationships with each other's sons. What begins as a teenage tryst spans over a course of decades, interfering with the young men's ability to have fruitful relationships with women their own ages. What could be complicated by that? The cinematography, score, scenery, and sexcapades are what makes this one a must-watch.
Where to Watch:Amazon Prime
Euphoria (2020-)
Euphoria focuses on a cast of adults playing high school kids, yes, but there's no denying that Euphoria has a plethora of sex scenes (and a fire soundtrack and editor) that makes some of these scenes hit different than most. The Zendaya-led HBO series goes there with topics like acceptance, abuse, sexuality, and more.
Where to Watch:HBO Max, Amazon Prime
Below Her Mouth (2016)
Jasmine is engaged. Dallas doesn't care. As a fashion editor minding her business and living her life, Jasmine never expected to meet anyone like Dallas, whose confidence reels her in more than anything else. What ensues is a forbidden affair between two women, which may or may not prove to be an eye-opener about what each of the women actually need in their lives.
Where to Watch:Google Play, Amazon Prime
The Sinner (2017-)
Although, it's a crime drama more than anything, I can certainly vouch for the explicit scenes of the first season in the hit anthology series. Entitled "Cora," Jessica Biel is a force on the screen. And before everything is turned upside down, she manages to let her freak flag fly in a number of NSFW scenes. We were more than here for it.
Where to Watch:Netflix
Obsession (2015)
I'm all for a good affair story, mainly because movies like Unfaithful made me realize how rich and filled with erotic opportunities the topic is filled with. There's something about the secrecy. In Obsession (also called, Rendez-Vous), the film follows a woman who has made an B&B in France after inheriting a house. She moves there with her family in tow. Shortly thereafter, she meets a younger, handsome man whose presence threatens the life she's made at home with her husband and kids. But sis doesn't care, she's tempted by what's forbidden.
Where to Watch:Amazon Prime
Gypsy (2017)
Naomi Watts stars in this Netflix original as a therapist that finds herself spiraling as she erases the thin line between professional and personal with some of her clients. Nothing tastes more delicious than the things you're not supposed to have.
Where to Watch: Netflix
Newness (2017)
In a hook-up crazed culture, it can be hard to compete with "new." A young couple decide to play with the idea of expanding their boundaries to keep up with wanting to experience new people sexually while being in a relationship. Sometimes trying something or someone new isn't worth the risk.
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
28 Hotel Rooms (2012)
What begins as a night of passionate sex, two people find it hard to not want more. Instead of leaving each other behind one night in a hotel room, an accountant and a novelist maintain a steamy affair over a span of years. Doing so threatens to upend their everyday lives.
Where to Watch:Amazon Prime
A Teacher (2013)
A high school teacher has a passionate affair with one of her students that quickly begins to spiral into an unhealthy obsession as the teacher realizes her fantasy for what they are isn't their reality.
Where to Watch: Hulu
You (2019)
Sure, it's more about an introspective man with homocidal tendencies, but at its center, there's love. And sex. Joe Goldberg is the manager of a bookstore with an unhealthy obsession with the women he falls for. So unhealthy that his obsessions become deadly. In the first season, there was Beck as the object of his desire. And by season two, there's Love. The popular thriller returns for its third season on October 15.
Where to Watch: Netflix
Duck Butter (2018)
If you want unapologetic steamy sex scenes in a film, look no further than Duck Butter. The Alia Shawkat-starring film centers on two women who haven't had a lot of luck in love and seek to put their relationship on the fast track. They make a pact to have sex every hour for 24 hours, uninterrupted. Spoiler alert: the sexual intimate experiment isn't what the two strangers thought it would be.
Where to Watch:Amazon Prime
Monogamy (2010)
Lust and jealousy creates this unconscious uncoupling between the two lovebirds in this film. A Brooklyn photographer becomes smitten with one of his clients that hires him for his services. The pair played by Rashida Jones and Chris Messina fall for each other, but their love affair quickly unravels as reality sets in.
Where to Watch: Hulu
The L Word (2004-2009)
Groundbreaking for its time, it's hard to think of The L Word and the incredible sex scenes not to come to mind. The provocative series follows a group of friends in LA each navigating their own love and lust lives. What is interesting is the sexual fluidity of the cast of characters that include lesbians and bisexual women. The sex scenes are Hot with a capital "h."
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime, Showtime
The United States vs. Billie Holiday (2021)
The Lee Daniels-helmed films The United States vs. Billie Holiday chronicles the time during the blues singer's career when the United States sought to make her the face of their efforts to racialize their war on drugs. Her song "Strange Fruit" was seen as a threat and Billie had to make decisions of whether she should sing or allow herself to be silenced. Aside from the controversies and the sometimes heavy imagery, Trevante Rhodes and Andra Day's chemistry sizzled.
Where to Watch: Hulu
Lovecraft Country (2020)
Lovecraft Country's cancellation was met with much controversy. The 2020 horror drama series didn't make it past its inaugural season but its impact remains felt in television. Jurnee Smollett and newcomer Jonathan Majors are solving a mystery in the 1950s on-screen, but the chemistry between the stars is ever-felt. Add a few memomorable sex scenes to the mix and this entry makes for an undeniable contender for this list.
Where to Watch:HBO Max, Amazon Prime
In the Cut (2003)
In a change of pace, Mark Ruffalo and Meg Ryan star in an erotic thriller centering around an English teacher who finds herself being questioned as a witness because of a dead body found near her home. The detective doing the questioning and her end up feeling a spark that eventually ignites an erotic awakening experienced by Ryan's character. What unfolds is sex, murder, and intrigue In the Cut.
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Game of Thrones (2011-2019)
So a lot of Game of Thrones fans would throw away the entire last season if they could, but that doesn't negate the fact that the long-running HBO series had a plethora of litty sex scenes during its run. The fantasy drama isn't for everyone, but we're show the love scenes are.
Where to Watch:Hulu, Amazon Prime
Four Lovers (2010)
In this French film, the concept of being swingers is explored as two married couples decide to swap partners with each other for uninhibited sexual exploration.
Where to Watch:Hulu
Featured image by Lovecraft Country via Tenor
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
Mavocado/ Getty Images
According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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