Hand me a cowboy hat and some whiskey because we're headed to Texas for a real live hoedown.
The release of Beyoncé's eighth studio album, Cowboy Carter, has the world paying more attention to country music now than ever, showing just how captivating the Beyoncé effect is. The album's lead single, "Texas Hold 'Em," has made her the first Black woman ever with a No.1 song on Billboard’s Hot Country Songs chart, and Cowboy Carter is officially Spotify’s most streamed album in a single day in 2024.
After release day, fans couldn't help but notice how much love Beyoncé showed to up-and-coming country singers like Tanner Adell and country music icons like Dolly Parton, who is affectionately known as "Dolly P" on the album as a narrator. Between these collaborations and her signature handwritten notes and flowers, it got me thinking about how Beyoncé has truly shown us through the years that she is the ultimate girl's girl.
A girl's girl is a woman who isn't shy about uplifting other women - who cheers for them just as loudly as she does for herself and isn't afraid to shine a spotlight on them for their work. Beyoncé has done that and more; let's take a look back at some of her best moments, showing us how being a girl's girl is done.
No Competition Between Country Gals
From the moment Beyoncé released her first country single, she's received tons of criticism. While many have said she wasn't country enough despite her Texas upbringing, comments also compared her to R&B and now country singer K. Michelle. K. Michelle is a proud southern girl with roots from Memphis, Tennessee, and has always shared her desire to one day create a country album. Last year, K. Michelle performed at the CMAs alongside Jelly Roll, truly a monumental moment in her career. Amidst Cowboy Carter’s release, Beyoncé gave K Michelle her flowers - literally and shared her admiration and respect for the Tennessee native, shutting down any critics attempting to compare the two.
Still Down With Her Day One
Beyoncé spotted in NYC for the premiere of 'Mea Culpa'
METROPOLIS/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images
One thing about Beyoncé, she gone love her some Kelly Rowland (and Michelle!) Her support of her longtime friend and Destiny's Child group member has shown us that no matter what, they are sisters forever, and we will always love them for it! At the Netflix world premiere of Mea Culpa, she told us all that she still goes hard for her bff by posting a set of photos from the premiere on Instagram captioned, "Dats my best friend! Dats my best friend!!!!! So proud of you Kelly 🙏🏽"
A Boss Honoring a Boss
Beyoncé and Diana Ross perform onstage during the "RENAISSANCE WORLD TOUR"
Kevin Mazur/WireImage for Parkwood
During the "RENAISSANCE WORLD TOUR," Beyoncé celebrated her 42nd birthday and was serenaded by none other than The Boss herself, Ms. Diana Ross! Forever leading with humility and gratitude, she honored Diana Ross with joy for coming to the show and singing to her. In an Instagram post dedicated to the moment with the legendary vocalist, the "Alien Superstar" singer wrote in her caption, "Thank you to the incomporable Ms. Diana Ross. The 1 of 1, the number 1, the only one. Thank you from the depths of me, my Queen."
Forever An Oldest Sister
"Might I suggest you don't f with her sis." A true older and younger sister duo, Beyoncé is always there for Solange's big moments, and this one was no different. She was front and center for Solange's debut of her original score for The New York City Ballet, reminding us all that she will always show up for her sis and beam with pride for her accomplishments.
Collaboration Queen
Cowboy Carter, like many of Bey's studio albums, is packed with collaborations. From her iconic cover of Dolly Parton's "Jolene," collaboration with Linda Martell, a duet with Miley Cyrus, and collaborations with up-and-coming artists, including Tanner Adell, she has shown us again how important it is to not only collaborate but simultaneously educate her audience with intentional features that are a nod to country music legends and the future of the genre.
Always Paying Homage
While Beyoncé shined as Deena Jones in the 2006 movie adaptation of Dreamgirls, she has always remembered Sheryl Lee Ralph, the original Dreamgirl who famously portrayed Deena Jones first on Broadway, for which she was nominated for a Tony award. In celebration of Ralph's Emmy win, Knowles sent her flowers and honored her as the original dream girl.
Birthday Bouquet for Kim K
Kim Kardashian/Instagram
Despite the countless rumors that Beyoncé isn't a fan of Kim Kardashian, for her 43rd birthday, she penned a sweet message and wished her a birthday filled with joy. Kim was delighted and posted the birthday florals to social media.
Honoring the Next Generation of Artists
Beyoncé and Taylor Swift attend the "Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour" Concert Movie World Premiere
John Shearer/Getty Images for TAS
Whether it's discovering Chloe x Halle, cheering on Taylor Swift, or showing love to fellow artists coming up, Beyoncé is always uplifting younger female artists. Rapper Coi Leray took to Instagram to share the flowers that she sent with a note that said she was a fan of hers and loves to watch her grow.
Whether you’re an icon like B, a small business owner, or an everyday girl who desires to develop a better community with the women around you, don’t be afraid to channel your inner girl's girl like Beyoncé and give the women in your life their flowers in your own way.
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Featured image by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for iHeartRadio
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
____
I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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