
Chloe x Halle On Embracing Individuality While Evolving As Women & Musicians Together

"We don't really care about the trends you like to follow…"
These are the first lyrics that pop into my head when I think of Chloe x Halle. These undeniably talented sisters are single-handedly responsible for the Grammy-nominated soundtrack of my life, The Kids Are Alright. Their artistry has evolved from their days as YouTube famous cover artists with viral renditions of Beyonce's "Pretty Hurts" and John Legend's "All Of You". They've taken over the music charts, our television screens as the Forster twins on Freeform's Grown-ish, and graced the stages of their mentor's On The Run II Tour. Additionally, the two will be gracing the big screens showing off their separate cinematic acting chops in Miramax's The Georgetown Project and the live-action remake of Disney's The Little Mermaid. Need I say more about how incredibly talented these multihyphenates are?
When first connecting with the "Forgive Me" songstresses, I could feel their positive energy radiating through the merged call from the moment they clicked over. Before the interview started, I had to praise them for their uplifting virtual tribute for my alma mater, Spelman College, and using their platform to amplify Black voices during these times of racial injustice and heightened systemic racism. As always, I asked the Grammy-nominated "Do It" duo about their mental health and if they were OK to proceed with the interview before starting. "Right now, I'm feeling very grateful and so tired, but so grateful and happy," Chloe Bailey answered. "And I'm feeling hopeful in a way too with everything going on and seeing everyone raise their voices to make a greater change. I'm in a positive vibe right now."
I had the pleasure of speaking with Chloe x Halle about the creation and inspiration behind their latest album Ungodly Hour, their growth as musicians and actresses, and their appreciation for Gen Z activism against police brutality.
xoNecole: When did you two know that music was your God-given talent?
Chloe Bailey: I remember my parents and my aunts telling me they would hear me sing in the car when I was like two in my diaper (laughs). When I knew that Halle and I had something special together singing was actually when we had our very first performance and it was at the Spelman Summer Camp Variety Show; we sang "Summertime" and we were 5 and 7 and we won. I remember in that moment, I was like, "Hey, this might be our little thing." So, ever since we were 5 and 7. It kind of progressed from there.
You two have always been transparent about your self-taught musical abilities with production, arranging and writing. Now that your artistry and your popularity has grown and blossomed before our eyes, do you still find great importance in having a creative hand in your own work?
Halle Bailey: Absolutely, my sister and I, we definitely take ownership in every single thing that we do. Our musicianship is very important to us. Our dad always instilled in us - our dad and our mom - that we can do anything we put our minds to and you don't have to wait on other people to do these things for you; you can learn them yourself. My beautiful sister is an amazing producer, she produced both of our records front to back. We write every single word that we sing, and that is so very important to us because it's our story and we want it to be truthful and we want it to be healing and we want people to be able to relate to what we're saying. We feel like when it comes from the heart, it's best and we definitely take full ownership of everything that we do and remind each other that we can do this.
"We write every single word that we sing, and that is so very important to us because it's our story and we want it to be truthful and we want it to be healing and we want people to be able to relate to what we're saying. We feel like when it comes from the heart, it's best and we definitely take full ownership of everything that we do and remind each other that we can do this."
Photo Credit: Robin Harper
Who were some of your major musical influences growing up? Did you two have the same or did you have a different sense of musical styling?
Chloe: It was different. For me, I grew up loving Destiny's Child, Toni Braxton, Nina Simone, Jill Scott [and] would always be playing [those artists] in our household. And Erykah Badu and Outkast. There's so many people that we have been inspired by. As I've gotten older, I've really been inspired by Kelis - I love her so much. I love Imogen Heap and Grime. That's for me. Oh, and Donna Summer!
Halle: For me, I've always been a super big jazz-head since I was 5. I discovered Billie Holiday because I saw that her CD was pink and I was like, "Oh, this is cool" (laughs). I've always been a big jazz-head so Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Nat King Cole, Sarah Vaughan - those have been my go-to. That's what really inspired me to want to continue to sing.
How would you describe your sound? Obviously the lyrics are powerful and the harmonies are definitely there, but there’s a lot of variety and interesting textures that play throughout the background of your music. Do you two have a creative process when you’re in the studio or writing music, and does it differ from one another’s?
Halle: Our creative process in the studio is actually very exciting and fun. We are two very completely different human beings, so it kind of stems from one of us [starting] it and then we finish it off together. For me, I like to sit on the floor when I'm in the studio (laughs). Like I'm [an] on-the-floor-rolling-around-on-the-carpet type of girl, and [I'm] playing my guitar and just playing anything until I get inspired - starting there, for me.
I normally start with my guitar, lyrics flow and then we finish out the song together. Or maybe it varies where Chloe makes a really cool beat and we kind of build up from there and finish up the song. It's never an exact way. It's never a formula and that's what keeps it so exciting because that's the creative process. It's fun to be different and it's fun to not to do the same thing every single time. I really respect that my sister and I have two completely different creative processes because when it comes together, it's really nice.
And, what would you say is your favorite part about producing your music?
Chloe: My favorite part is that we have complete creative control and I also love having this moment when you listen back and realize what you've created from absolutely nothing. That's always a great feeling when you know it's good and not like, bad (laughs).
You two say in nearly every interview I’ve ever seen that personally you two are complete opposites. I need to know how and what do you two love about each other?
Halle: I'm an Aries and a very fiery type of person, very passionate. If I feel some type of way about something, I'm the first one to say it and to scream it and to get it out. My beautiful sister is a Cancer; she's more sensitive and when it comes to her communication style, she is a bit calm in a way. Like if we're discussing something business-related or not seeing eye-to-eye about something, she's kind of the one to walk away or hold her tongue, but me, I'm kind of the opposite. What I love about my sister is that we learn from each other, you know? I learned from her to embrace more of my sensitive side and to open myself up a bit more, and I think she has had to kind of speak up for herself and not let people walk over her in a way.
Chloe: Yes! (laughs)
Halle: We kind of learn from each other in that way and that's cool.
And Chloe, what do you love about Halle?
Chloe: I love how she knows what she wants. She'll never really take 'no' for an answer. She's so headstrong and when she puts her mind to something, she can make it happen. That's what I love about her and that's really inspiring to me, and I forget that she's my little sister constantly. She's so mature, so wise and I don't know what I'd do without her so God knew what He was doing when He put us together.
Photo Credit: Robin Harper
How do you two manage your sisterhood and your business relationship? Is there a fine line between the two relationships or can you not have one without the other?
Chloe: You know, I feel like it's really all we know. We make it work so well because we have a balance, like we're each other's best friends. Even before we create the music, we're always just laughing about situations or things the other one is dealing with. When it comes to making the music, we're just baring our souls and that's a way that we express ourselves - not only individually, but together - and it's therapeutic for us. Because we know each other so well, it makes it that much easier. In terms of the business standpoint, we don't have to sugarcoat anything with each other, we don't have to walk around the bush, we can be honest and upfront and I think it's the best product, you know, and I truly feel like we bring out the best in each other.
So much of who you are is rooted in your identity as Chloe x Halle, however it’s extremely obvious you two are individuals within your own unit. How do you embrace your individuality while being a duo?
Halle: I would say I embrace my individuality by just taking little moments to myself. I mean, my sister and I are really great at respecting each other's space when it comes to doing press all day together and at the end of the day being tired and just separately going our own way in our room. I kind of meditate and pray just to center myself or have a spa night to reset myself. But the most exciting thing is always going back to my sister. I mean, that's my best friend. At the end of the day, I am the little sister so I'm kind of the one who wants to be around her all the time, but at the same time, it's a beautiful thing to have your own identity and really have somebody who respects that and supports that and will lift you up in every single way. That's just natural and very easy for us.
And, Chloe? How do you embrace your individuality?
Chloe: Because we are individuals, naturally, it's easy. We just have to be ourselves. It's not really hard to try to be someone I'm not because that's really impossible for me (laughs). We're naturally two completely different beings, so I'm just myself. I love the water; I love working out because I overthink so much and the pain on my legs and arms, I'm thinking about that instead of everyday life (laughs), so that helps me, too. I love praying - that always helps center me because I'm learning that I can't control everything in my life and I'm learning to be OK with that. I love how we are two completely different individuals, especially with our music, too. Even our tones; a lot of times [with] siblings, their tones will sound similar, but I think because we both were inspired by completely different types of music, that definitely was an influence on our tone.
Speaking of music, your latest project was very grown and sexy in comparison to your other music. From your first project, 'The Two of Us', to your recent 'Ungodly Hour', how have you two grown as artists and how is 'Ungodly Hour' a reflection of that?
Halle: I feel like we truly have grown as artists in every way very naturally. I'm 20 now and my sister's about to be 22 in two weeks. It's easy to make music that reflects the times going on in your life. When people are like, "Oh, it's so grown," or "It's so different from what we've heard from you," it's like, yes, of course because we're growing as individuals. Every single day, there's an evolutions that's going on. We're experiencing more things. We're learning to love ourselves. We're embracing our insecurities and we're putting that all into the music. So, of course it's gonna be a bit more evolved than three years ago with our debut album, The Kids Are Alright, because for that album, we were kids. In a way, as we're becoming women, we have been documenting that into this album Ungodly Hour, which is just a story of us finding ourselves while also kind of knowing who we are and navigating our life through love, relationships and figuring out what we want and what we don't want in life and taking our power back. That's definitely a natural evolution that happened for us just because of us growing.
"In a way, as we're becoming women, we have been documenting that into this album Ungodly Hour, which is just a story of us finding ourselves while also kind of knowing who we are and navigating our life through love, relationships and figuring out what we want and what we don't want in life and taking our power back. That's definitely a natural evolution that happened for us just because of us growing."
Courtesy of the artists
When I think of the term “ungodly hour”, I think of a young man hitting me up way past my bedtime or my mom waking me up wicked early. How did you two come up with the title of the album?
Chloe: I love how the title can mean a variety of things. For us and how we were inspired, we were in this session with Disclosure and I had a phrase written in my notes, "ungodly hour", and me, Halle and the two brothers of Disclosure were like, "What can we say with this phrase?" We came up with "love me in the ungodly hour", which means love me when I'm not at my best, when I can't stay still, when my mind is going crazy and filled with insecurities, and love me when I'm the most vulnerable. So, we felt that that phrase really meant - well, really what the whole album was about. We're baring our full souls and you're not just seeing perfect angel version[s] of us; you're seeing multi-layered women. You're hearing what we're going through: heartbreak, love, learning to embrace our flaws. You hear all of that in the music and we're truly saying to the world, "love us at our ungodly hour," and that's what that title means to us.
As the album touches on more grown themes like sex and love, and really the duality of sexuality and femininity as women, do you two ever find time to date or explore romance? Do you two help each other with your love lives?
Chloe: Oh, we definitely make time because we're human beings. I feel like humans thrive off of human touch and human experience, and that's what is helping fuel the creativity and help write these songs when we go through these things. If we didn't really experience it firsthand, I don't think we'd be able to write lyrics as raw as we did because we actually were going through these things, so it felt so much more real and everyone who has one through heartbreak or love like we have, they can relate too because love is a common thing.
Even when you're with someone, it may feel so special and it's like the only thing is the world is just you two, but it's an entire world and we all have the same feelings and I'm glad that people are saying these songs reflect what they've gone through. So, definitely we make and find time - it's hard because we're working so hard and business always comes first, but whenever we have those little off-days, yeah (laughs).
How are you each putting your mental health first when it comes to creation and production of new music amidst everything that’s happening within the Black community culturally and politically?
Halle: For me, I'm honestly taking it day-by-day. I'm taking social media breaks when needed because as a Black person, it's traumatizing seeing your family get killed every single day. Sometimes I just need to step away. In terms of music, that has always been, and still is, therapy for me so when it comes to being creative during this time, we can [be a] vessel and put all of the pain into the words of your writing and singing. It just gets it out of our systems and it allows us to feel lighter and freer through all of this together. I definitely can say I've just been putting my head down, prayer, meditation, stepping away from social media when I need to and holding the ones that I love so much.
Chloe: Definitely music has been therapy and just immersing myself in that has always been therapeutic for me, and also prayer.
Right now, unfortunately we’re in a time where a lot of what’s going on in the Black community is being brought to light and you two have taken to your platforms to sing “Life Every Voice” and “We Shall Overcome”. You even pushed back the delivery date of your album. How’re you doing right now and how are you using your platform to raise awareness?
Halle: Right now, we're doing much better than we were a few weeks ago when everything kind of felt like it was piling on the world. Every time we see something like what happened to George Floyd, it's just so devastating. You get this horrible feeling in your stomach and for me, I think of my baby brother. I think of my father because it could've been them. [George Floyd] could've been our uncle. It's a terrible thing that's been happening in our community, to our people for a very long time and people are just now seeing it, or just now wanting to pay attention to it. All I can do right now, my job, is to lift people up with my voice and to stand up for what I believe in and to stand up for what's right, which is getting justice for all of our beautiful brothers and sisters who have lost their lives to senseless police brutality. That is our number one goal as this generation.
We are so proud to be part of this generation because we're not afraid to speak up, we're not afraid to yell and to demand justice. We want to be a part of that and do everything that we can. The reason why we pushed back our album was because in our souls, it did not feel right to release that during that moment and we wanted to shine the light on George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and all of the others who need justice. That's why we decided to drop it a week later because at the end of the day, music is a healer and has always been healing our community for so many years ever since this has been happening to us. We have used music to heal us, so we only hope that this album has done that and eased the pain for some of us and helped us.
For more of Chloe x Halle, follow them on Instagram. Ungodly Hour is out now.
Featured image courtesy of the artists
Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Is It Time To Go Back To A Relaxer? These Questions Might Help You Decide.
During my 25 years of being a full-time writer, I’ve definitely penned for a few hair magazines and websites before. One time, I remember being asked to cover what might appear to be a really random question — and yet, if you stop to really ponder it, it’s one that has crossed many Black women’s minds: “If I’m going to wear my natural hair, when’s the best time of year to do that and if I’m going to relax it, when should I do that?”
My response? Well, I’ll speak for myself personally and say I think that, although there is absolutely nothing wrong with shrinkage (it actually speaks to how healthy your curls and coils are), if you want to wear all-natural styles with as little of it as possible, cooler months are best. On the other hand, since the warmer seasons tend to have a lot more humidity in them, if you want to rock a straight(er) style, relaxing your locks makes more sense during the spring and summertime.
And, as life (and timing) would have it, the latter is where we are right now. So, if you are seriously thinking about chemically straightening your hair, although I totally get it, before you take the leap, please make sure to ask yourself the following five questions, just so you won’t have any regrets if you actually do.
1. Why Am I Doing It?
One of my girlfriends? She has an incredible head of hair. I wanna say that her texture is probably hovering somewhere between 3b-4a, and it only takes her about six months to go from a bob to well past her bra strap. Anyway, although when I first met her, she rocked a relaxer, for about a decade, she then went completely natural. Then, one day, she announced to me that she was going back to the white stuff. When I asked her why, she said that although she loved natural hair, all of the time that went into the care and maintenance of it was starting to get on her nerves.
I ain’t got no lies to tell you: When she said it, I was devastated like it was my own hair, mostly because I had grown so accustomed to seeing her thick curly locks. Plus, I’m aware of some of the risks that come with relaxers (more on that in a sec). Still, it ain’t my head, and also, since she would flat iron her hair quite a bit without properly prepping it in order to avoid heat damage, it’s not like I didn’t see where she was coming from. I wanna say that she’s been relaxing her hair, this time, for about 4-5 years now. I’ve asked her if she has any regrets. She has been emphatic that her answer is “no.”
Me? I’ve been pretty natural for most of my adult life. I frame it that way because back when my hair was ultra short, I would sometimes put a texturizer in it (which is basically a mild relaxer, if we’re gonna be real about it). However, there have only been two times when I’ve taken the very clear relaxer route, and both were to achieve a particular hairstyle — once a straight short bob and another time a modified mohawk. The bob I kind of regretted because once I was “over it,” I had to cut my hair to get back to my natural texture.
The mohawk? Eh, not so much because the sides were super low anyway. Still, just like going from relaxed to natural is a transition (makes me think about the book and then filmNappily Ever After), so is going from relaxed to natural — which is why the first thing you should ask yourself is your reason(s) for relaxing your hair, so that you can also ponder the costs that come with making the choice.
2. Am I Aware of the Risks?
A few years ago, Glamour published an article entitled, “It’s My Hair and I’ll Relax It—Or Not—If I Want To.” Back in 2023, Essence published an article entitled, “Why Some Black Women Are Relaxing Their Hair Again.” Last year, Vice published an article entitled, “Black Women on Their Complicated Relationship with Relaxer.” As I checked them all out, that is actually what caused India.Arie’s song, “I Am Not My Hair” to come to my mind. At the end of the day, one of the most bomb things about our hair is how damn versatile it can be — how many options that we really do have.
Still, I would be pretty irresponsible if I didn’t mention in a relaxer-themed article that there is quite a bit of research that says that relaxers really aren’t the best for our overall health and well-being. For instance, last year, NPR published the article, “Thousands of Black women are suing chemical relaxer makers over cancer risks” which was probably, at least partially inspired by, “First Large Study of Hair Relaxers Among Black Women Finds Increased Risk of Uterine Cancer” (NPR also just recently published an article about shampoos, lotions and eyelash glues that are harmful to our health as well).
In 2023, NBC News featured a piece entitled, “What Black women should know about hair relaxers and their health;” one of the things it said was “postmenopausal Black women who have used chemical hair relaxers more than twice a year or for more than five years have an increased risk of developing uterine cancer.” Know what else? It should also go on record that, beyond cancer, relaxers pose the threat of uterine fibroids, premature births, and even infertility.
Should that “scare” you into not relaxing your hair? Eh, it should make you more aware of the risks. That said, I would also be amiss if I didn’t say that there are some relaxer options that are certainly safer than others (you can read more about those here). Still, if you knew that there were other ways to straighten your locks without “chancing it” when it comes to chemical relaxers at all, wouldn’t you want to at least…consider them?
This brings me to the next question that you should ask yourself.
3. Have I Researched Other Straightening Alternatives?
A few weeks ago, Who What Wear published an article entitled, “TikTok Says Becoming a ‘Straight Natural’ Is a Hairstyling Hack—I Asked an Expert for the Facts.” It naturally piqued my interest because that’s pretty much what I am: on wash day, I will blow-out my hair and then I will braid it up to keep it stretched, basically until it’s time to wash it again. Personally, it has served me well because it reduces tangling and chances for fairy knots to pop up, plus, it helps me to handle my hair more gently (because I’m not exactly the best at doing that).
This means that no, I don’t need or use a relaxer, even though I do prefer to wear my hair stretched out. Instead, I use a blow dryer. That’s one alternative to achieving straight(er) hair.
Some others?
- You can flat-iron your hair
- You can apply keratin treatments
- You can do a silk press
- You can put your hair in rollers
- There are quite a few straightening sprays and creams that can get the job done too (although you oftentimes need to use them with heat, and many contain silicones if those aren’t your thing)
BONUS: If you want to simply stretch your natural hair without heat, some options for that arehere.
Now, I won’t lie, a perk to going the relaxer route is your hair remains permanently straight, even in the roughest of weather conditions while these alternatives are temporary solutions (some lasting longer than others). However, if you want to go in between curly and straight without any potentially harmful chemicals putting your health at risk, now you know some other proven things that you can do.
4. Have I Fully Processed the Upkeep That Is Involved?
The time it takes to sit up in a beauty salon. Chile, back when I was in college, that inspired me to teach myself how to cut my own hair (fades ‘n all) — that’s why, it’s been only a handful of times that I’ve been in a beauty shop since. And don’t get me started on the prices! In fact, I just recently checked out the current average prices for certain hair treatments in the US:
- Women’s haircut: $10-90
- Hair Color: $75-200
- Highlights: $20-200
- Styling: $10-65
- Permanent Hair Straightening: $40-425 ($425?!)
Now, to be fair, when it comes to seeing a professional for certain natural styles, here are some of the costs for that:
- Braids: $40-200
- Locs: $50-150
- Retightening Sisterlocks: $100-250 (and it’s recommended to do this at least six times a year)
However, natural hairstyles oftentimes tend to last longer, and you can do certain ones on your own. Meanwhile, getting a retouch? While some prefer to do it every six weeks, every eight weeks is typically the norm. Plus, it’s not just you’re getting a relaxer, right? Oftentimes, a cut and possibly a retouch of color is thrown up in there, too, and that can really add up.
Not to say that, even if you do your natural hair at home, some of the hair products are not the cheapest on the planet. Understood. All I’m saying, though, is — I’ve been doing my own hair for years, and the products that I use last for many months on end. Back when I was getting a relaxer, though? In the grand scheme of things, I was definitely spending more money overall.
And with this current administration that we have, chile…CHILE.
5. Have You Taken a Month to Make Sure It’s Not a Knee-Jerk Response?
Relaxers are a lot like tattoos in the sense that, once you get them, there’s no turning back. So, if you’re a naturalista who is thinking about putting the “cream crack” in, simply because you’ve had a few bad hair days — before you book a hair appointment or even go to a beauty supply store to get a ready-made relaxer to apply yourself, pause…to really think about what you’re doing.
And by “pause,” I recommend taking a good month, just to make sure that you’re making a logical decision and not just having an emotional reaction. Because again, once it’s straight, it’s straight until/unless you decide to grow your natural hair back out — and boy, is that a process (check out “The Truth About Transitioning From Relaxed To Natural”)…sometimes more of one than we considered before taking the cream crack leap.
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Listen, you’re all the way grown, and when it comes to your hair, you certainly can do whatever the hell you want to do. That said, I did decide to end this with a feature from Only One Jess’s channel because…just look at our natural hair and all that it is capable of. Beautiful.
As I close this out, as with pretty much all things in this life, relaxed hair certainly comes with its own benefits. Of course, it does because, if there were none, who would have relaxed locks at all? All I’m saying is it does come with some “count the costs” to really consider, too, and I want to make sure that you always keep those in mind as well.
I’m hoping this article brought this main point home, so that if you do decide to go permanently straight (perhaps again), you can feel 100 percent good about your decision.
With — like the friend whom I mentioned earlier — not one single regret. From root to tip.
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Featured image by L Julia/Shutterstock